“What’s wrong with my mouth? I’ll have you know that this mouth is a treasure; all the learned teachers in Yuezhou can’t out-argue it, alright?” Zhao Xi said proudly. “You’ll see. I’ll first become the Chancellor, then rise to become the Prime Minister, and I’ll be incredibly well-respected in my old age. Even after I die, I will be revered as the foremost sage of our time!”
Lou Jing’s chest hurt from trying to hold in his laughter. He coughed lightly into his fist. “Mmm yes, that’s the spirit – but if you want to be the foremost sage of our time, you have to persuade someone first.”
“Who?” Zhao Xi asked, his interest piqued.
“The Taoist Priestess, Ning Xin, of the Green Lotus Temple. It’s in the south of the city.” Lou Jing said conspiratorially.
“Huh?” Zhao Xi stared at him in confusion, then pursed his lips. “The Green Lotus Temple is a nunnery. Why would I go look for an old nun?”
“Ah, let me explain…” Lou Jing wiggled his brows, and crooked a finger Zhao Xi, motioning him to come closer.
“This will be fun!” Zhao Xi said, grinning widely after hearing what Lou Jing said. Then his brow furrowed. “Hey, I’m going to participate in the Imperial examinations next year. Shouldn’t you be persuading me to study hard, instead of asking me to do these immoral things for you? What if I fail the exam?”
Lou Jing gave him a sideways glance, then flicked him hard on the head. “If you fail, you can come be my eunuch in the Eastern Palace. I’ll even make you the Head Eunuch!”
Zhao Xi pressed his hand to his head where Lou Jing had flicked him, and Gao Yi carried him by the collar over the walls of the residence in that same position. As this was happening, Zhao Xi seriously considered the question of what would enable his career to progress faster – becoming the Head Eunuch in the Eastern Palace, or getting first place in the Imperial examinations and climbing the rungs of government thereafter? Suddenly, he realized that actually, he was here to help Lou Jing think of solutions to avoid the marriage to the Crown Prince. Why was he being thrown out unceremoniously like this?
“Shizi, the old nun Ning Xin came again this morning, and only stayed for a short period of time,” Xunxia reported quietly to the bedridden Lou Jing. She carried a bowl of medicine in her hands, and offered this to Lou Jing as she spoke.
Lou Jing smiled, nodding slightly. His eyes then fell on the bitter medicine being pushed toward him, and the smile froze on his face. “My injuries are external. Drinking medicine won’t help.”
“Nope,” Xunxia refuted, placing the little fist-sized bowl firmly into Lou Jing’s hands. “Yunqi says you also suffered internal injuries, and that if you don’t drink this medicine, you’ll be coughing blood.”
This Yunqi and his rubbish medical skills. Lou Jing curled his lips in disgust, but with Xunxia watching him like a hawk, he could only hold his breath and swallow his medicine quickly in one go. He wasn’t afraid of Heaven or Hell, but when it came to drinking this kind of bitter medicine, he turned into a real coward. The great hero was very easily bullied by his maids when it came to taking his medicine.
The days passed quickly, and before anyone knew it, it was the second day of the ninth month – the day of the big wedding. The time was too short, and Lou Jing’s wounds were far from completely healed.
The Anguo Gong Lou Jianyu himself had not anticipated that the Emperor would be in this much of a hurry to get the wedding done. At the time he came up this idea, he had thought that the wedding would most likely be held in the spring of the following year, and even if things were rushed, there would still be at least three months to prepare for the wedding. Who knew that they’d only have half a month? If that good-for-nothing son of his embarrassed himself during the wedding ceremony, he, the Anguo Gong, would definitely lose face.
“Take this. If things get really bad, take one,” Lou Jianyu said, throwing a white jade bottle to Lou Jing, who was clad in scarlet wedding robes. When he saw that Lou Jing’s expression was cold and had no intention of uttering a single word of thanks, he wanted to explode with anger. However, on account that the wedding day was an auspicious day, he held in his temper with effort. “After today, you’ll be a member of the Imperial family. Remember always that if you do something wrong, it’s not just a matter of you losing face; our entire family will also pay the price.”
After the Anguo Gong left with a swish of his sleeves, Lou Jing turned the small jade bottle over in his hands, then poured out the small medicine pill, sniffing it. It was exactly the same as the one he kept in the secret compartment of his bed. A cold smile danced on his lips. Even on the battlefield, where it was a matter of life and death, men would think twice before taking this. The side effects were very severe; this drug was actually a cocktail of poisons. Also, this drug could at best help him to get over the wedding ceremony without incident, but there was still the issue of consummating the marriage. Did his father think that the Crown Prince would miss wounds that covered his entire back on his wedding night? And how was he supposed to have any kind of relations when he was so badly injured?
Marriage was always a massive affair regardless of social class or status, but marrying the Crown Prince was a particularly complicated undertaking.
The Ministry of Rites and palace servants had come a day in advance to make preparations for the fetching of the bride. Temporary outposts had even been set up outside the Anguo Gong residence for the officials’ use. The Ministry of Internal Affairs sent an eunuch to teach Lou Jing the necessary wedding etiquette; the rites of marriage for the Crown Prince’s Consort were the same as that for an Empress, meaning that it was incredibly complicated and cumbersome.
Lou Jing’s body was still in a bad state, and the exertions of preparing for the wedding had already worn him out the day before. There was no rest for the weary, unfortunately. He still had to get up at the crack of dawn the next day, and as the day wore on, his face became paler and paler. The rules were that when the Crown Prince married a male consort, he could only have eunuchs dressing him, and the eunuch attending to him just had to be the Head of the Ministry of Internal Affairs, Shen Lian.
In the ten years of the Chunde Emperor’s reign, the Ministry of Internal Affairs had grown in power and influence, so much so that its Head was essentially on par with the Ministers of the Right and Left. Castrated men were often vicious and temperamental, and Lou Jing had no choice but to muster up all the energy he could to deal with Shen Lian.
Shen Lian was forty odd years of age, but looked much younger than that due to the lavish life he led. He had a slightly gaunt, pale face, and his smile always bore a slight chill.
“I’m sorry to have to trouble Eunuch Shen over a trifle like this,” Lou Jing said, standing to greet Shen Lian.
“Don’t mention it. The Crown Prince is marrying his Consort, and it’s an auspicious occasion. I’m also here to get some good luck,” Shen Lian said with a smile. He then noticed that Lou Jing didn’t look too well, and immediately reached out a hand to support him. “The wedding ceremony is very complicated, so actually, Shizi is the one who unfortunately will be troubled.”
Lou Jing didn’t flinch away from Shen Lian’s outstretched hand, and even leaned closer to him, letting his hand touch his sleeve. Shen Lian’s smile deepened with appreciation. Most nobles looked down on eunuchs, considering them incomplete men, and it was only in recent years that they had been accorded more respect after the Ministry of Internal Affairs gained power. Despite this, there were still a small number of nobles who still treated them like vermin. Nobles like Lou Jing, who treated them no differently than he would any other civil official, were few and far between, and Shen Lian naturally was pleased by this treatment.
The two men laughed as they talked, and it looked a very heartwarming scene, but Lou Jing was actually suffering. Whilst Shen Lian was here, he had to remain standing, and he would dearly have liked to lie down.
He managed to last until the Crown Prince arrived, though not without great difficulty. The Crown Prince arrived on horseback, and the Eastern Palace officials all kowtowed in greeting when he dismounted. At the same time, Lou Jing was preparing to bid farewell to his parents in the main residence.
Lou Jianyu and Mdm Wei sat in the main hall, unable to hide the perverse happiness on their faces. Mdm Wei wore a first-ranked furen’s robes, and her young face glowed at the thought that she would finally be rid of Lou Jing. She was 23 this year – only six years older than Lou Jing. Because she was the Anguo Gong’s second wife, she had to be given a rank lower than Lou Jing’s mother, and therefore could not be made a superior first-ranked furen like the latter.
Lou Jing stood in the main hall, looking at Mdm Wei. She had seated herself matter-of-factly in the seat ordinarily occupied by the mistress of the manor, as if she were a superior first-ranked furen. Lou Jing’s eyes swept over the empty sandalwood table between them.
“How am I to make my farewells to my parents if my mother’s ancestral tablet is not in attendance?” he inquired innocently.
Mdm Wei’s brilliant smile froze immediately, and beside her, Lou Jianyu reacted the same way. “Your mother is right here, what nonsense are you spouting now?” he roared.
“Father, don’t scare me on this auspicious day. My mother has been buried for five years, how could she possibly be seated here?” Lou Jing asked, widening his eyes innocently, pretending to be horrified. “Go get my mother’s tablet – what are you waiting for?” he said to the steward standing at the side of the room.
After his father married Mdm Wei, he could have addressed her as “mother”, but because she had never treated him well and certainly had never treated him as a son, he had persisted in calling her furen instead of “mother”.
Outside the main hall, the Crown Prince had already entered the courtyard. “If – we – may!” the bridegroom’s attendant sang out, announcing the Crown Prince’s arrival.
“Xiao Chengjun requests to fetch the bride,” a calm, clear voice said.
Meanwhile, the male bride had yet to bid goodbye to his parents. Anxiety was increasing rapidly within the main residence, but Lou Jing couldn’t care less, and continued to stand casually in the middle of the main hall, looking at Mdm Wei. The latter’s face grew increasingly white and pinched with stress. Lou Jing was gratified by this, so much so that he felt a proportionate decrease in pain the more stressed Mdm Wei became.
Whilst everyone was waiting for Lou Jing’s mother’s tablet to be brought in, the Crown Prince had already accepted the live goose* from his attendant, and gave it in turn to the wedding official. Ordinarily, the wedding official could stand and receive the goose, but because the bridegroom was the Crown Prince, the wedding official had to kneel to accept the huge bird awkwardly. The Crown Prince bowed slightly in thanks, and it was only then that the wedding official could rise. All this happened not a moment too soon; as the wedding official got to his feet, Lou Jing completed his farewells, and the red veil was put on his head.
*T/N: I did not know this myself, but a Baidu search says that when the bridegroom goes to fetch the bride on the wedding day, he has to give a live goose to the bride’s family. O.O Learnt something new today. When I first read this I thought it referred to the red silk ball!
According to the rules of the Dayu Dynasty, the only persons who could marry a man were the Emperor and the Crown Prince. As such, other than the fact that the male bride wore a man’s wedding robe, the rest of the wedding rites were exactly the same as that between a man and a woman. The male bride still had to be veiled. Lou Jing didn’t mind this so much. His injuries hurt badly, and the day’s exertions would certainly take their toll. If his face was too frightful to look at as the day wore on, he would cause the Imperial family to lose face, so it was better that no one could see it.
The Crown Prince’s wedding attire was a gauzy, apricot-coloured silk inner robe, covered by a bright red wide-sleeved silk robe. When Xiao Chengjun entered the main hall, all Lou Jing could see from under his veil was a corner of his red robe. His presence brought Lou Jing’s foremost worry to mind. He could see a way out for most of his problems, like how deal with his Lou family, and how to manage the Imperial politics, but the one thing for which he had no solution was how to live harmoniously with the Crown Prince as a married couple. He’d thought hard about it for the whole half-month before the wedding, but still hadn’t come up with anything.
Xiao Chengjun and Lou Jing stood separately to bid their joint farewells to Lou Jing’s parents. They did not come into contact with each other at all.  As the wedding official sang the formulaic phrases, Mdm Wei forced a smile and told Lou Jing to “be obedient to his new parents”, then watched as Lou Jing was helped onto the wedding sedan.
The Imperial wedding sedan was huge. It would not have been an overstatement to say it was like a small house. It required sixteen people to carry it, and the interior was covered in thick red silk padding. Despite the heavy padding, Lou Jing felt every jolt of the sedan keenly, and was in such pain that cold sweat ran in rivulets down his forehead. That miracle drug his father gave him earlier could only be eaten once a day, and because its effects did not last for long, he had to wait until he was about to get off the wedding sedan before taking it, or it would not last him the whole of the wedding ceremony. He turned his thoughts to his soon-to-be husband, trying to distract himself from the excruciating pain.
Crown Prince Xiao Chengjun was the same age as him. When Lou Jing’s mother was alive, she would bring him to the palace to play with the princes. The Crown Prince was an eye-catching child, not just because he wore the apricot orange robes of a Crown Prince, but because he always had a serious, regal look on his face, very different from the other playful princes. He already knew to keep his emotions in check at a tender young age, and Lou Jing found it unbelievable that he grew up to be someone who didn’t shine at anything at all.
“This… is for you.” In his memory, the Crown Prince’s fair little hand held a wosi candy that was about as big as his palm, and extended it to him. The little face was tense as usual. When Lou Jing took the candy from the Crown Prince, he touched the Crown Prince’s hand in passing, and he remembered that how the hand felt – very soft and tender. They reminded him of the little rabbit buns that his mother used to make for him – warm, with a light, fragrant scent of milk.
He wondered what Xiao Chengjun looked like now, and whether he still had the same ebony black eyes he saw as a child…
The sedan stopped. Whilst the bridegroom was shooting the three auspicious red arrows*, Lou Jing quickly swallowed a pill.
*T/N: Part of the wedding rites requires the bridegroom to shoot three arrows at the wedding sedan so as to disperse any evil that may have accumulated around the sedan on the way to the groom’s house. Again, did not know this prior to translating this chapter…
The sedan’s curtains were pulled aside, and two people helped him off the sedan. Imperial weddings were serious, solemn affairs, completely unlike the lively, clamorous celebrations that were typical of a commoner’s wedding. The ceremonial drums sounded, and the persons supporting him moved to the side. Lou Jing saw a slender, white hand with beautifully symmetrical bones extend toward him.
The Crown Prince’s Consort was a man, and could not be aided by a matchmaker lady as a female bride ordinarily would have been. A man also could not be allowed to touch the Crown Prince’s Consort, and thus it fell to the Crown Prince to personally guide Lou Jing into the wedding hall.
Beansprout: Woah I think this was the hardest chapter I have ever translated. So many wedding rite thingies that I never knew about before this! O.O