Since that day Min Yu Qi left Xu ChangAn's place in a pique, she really did not have more contact with QinXin, but she had become a frequent visitor to Tongxin Garden, almost every day she would pass over.
“Nan Xi meimei knew where Wangye and Wangfei went today?” Min Yu would come to Tongxin Garden every day, and she really met Xiao QingYan. Yesterday she met Xiao QingYan here, but she did not hear Xiao QingYan mentioned that he would go to the palace with Xu ChangAn today. She remembered that Xiao QingYan had left yesterday just after she had left, but he certainly did not tell Nan Xi about their entrance to the palace today.
Wasn't she favored? Turned out, she still could not be compared with Wangfei ah. Min Yu also did not know due to what mentality it was, she hoped that the favored Nan Xi would help her deal with Xu ChangAn. But when she saw that Nan Xi was totally ineligible to attend on such matters, she felt happy and superior.
On occasions such as Imperial Palace Banquet, she was qualified to go as a Cefei of Wang Residence. At present, Wangye did not like her, but it was uncertain in the future. However, even if Wangye spoiled this Nan Xi more, she could only be an unseen concubine for her whole life and stay in this dilapidated courtyard.
Min Yu hardly hid what she thought. Nan Xi naturally saw a few points, but she did not care; each sought different things, and they laughed at each other.
“Yesterday, Wangye told me that today is the birthday of His Fourth Highness. He and Wangfei are going to the palace to celebrate Fourth Highness.” Nan Xi’s health had improved a lot, and she no longer stuck to her small courtyard. Today Min Yu came over, and she suggested that they go out for a walk. The so-called “go out and walk” could only be strolling inside Wang Residence. The people in the back courtyard of Wang Residence, except for Wangye and Wangfei, whoever wanted to leave the residence, must report to Wangfei or the steward.
The weather had turned completely cold. Min Yu’s body had always been good, plus she had always been used to this Great Xiao Dynasty's winters, therefore she did not feel much cold. Looking at the Nan Xi, who was dressed in winter clothes, together with some things she had heard these days, Min Yu wondered what would happen if a woman could not have a child, even if the woman was more favored right now? It would be the time for the woman to suffer when her youth and look were gone.
“Nan Xi meimei, let’s go to the flower garden and have a look. Although there are no flowers to see in winter, the scenery there is better than our poor courtyard.”
Min Yu didn’t expect to meet QinXin halfway. She hadn’t been looking for QinXin for several days. The matter about QinXin bringing her milkmaid’s family in Wang Residence, Min Yu knew. She also hoped that she could bring some people from her home. There were too few maidservants in her courtyard and many things were inconvenient. Take this winter clothes for example, her clothes were all made by the embroidery lady in the residence. Not to mention the works were rough, it was also not at all what she wanted.
“Ah, QinXin Jiejie is here too. We are going to Wang's Garden for a stroll. Want to join us?” Normally, with Nan Xi's status presently, she could not address the two people as jiejie and meimei, but the two people dared not put their status in front of Nan Xi. Nan Xi was also unwilling to be inferior in front of them, so she took advantage of the situation for her own benefit and sat on an equal footing with them.
QinXin was bored to be alone in the courtyard, so she wanted to go out for a walk. Who would have known that she would meet them? She had no reason to refuse and naturally went with them. The three of them were not familiar with each other, and there was nobody else to talk about when they walked together, except about Xiao QingYan.
“It's cold, why don’t meimei add more clothes?” QinXin and Nan Xi had changed into a cotton jacket but Min Yu was still in a thin autumn clothes; QinXin felt cold when she looked at her.
“Now is October, how can it be colder than winter in December? Besides, it doesn’t matter whether I’m going to be sick or not. Anyway, nobody cares. Unlike Nan Xi meimei, Wangye's heart will ache when she’s sick." If there were only she and Nan Xi here, Min Yu would not say these words even if she was beaten to death. But now there was QinXin, she wanted to annoy her, so she said that for herself and also QinXin.
What about it if she(Qx) had Wangfei? Could Wangfei possibly persuade Wangye to pity her? Even that man as Wangfei could not get a bit of Wangye's affection. Could he still help others?!
Knowing what Min Yu was thinking, QinXin didn’t care about her. Each chose how they lived. She just wanted to live in this residence safely and not be bullied by others.
Nan Xi did not at all refute Min Yu’s words, instead, she smiled shyly. Min Yu said that just to annoy QinXin, but Nan Xi’s reaction made her angry even more. She just said nothing serious, but Nan Xi’s reaction reminded her that what she just said was not empty talk but a fact!  “Well, I’m tired after a long walk. Let’s sit in that pavilion over there.” Min Yu pointed to the pavilion in the front. The Pavilion was also connected with a wooden corridor. There was a small arch bridge in the pavilion. There was also a big pond under the bridge. But nowadays there was not much to see; instead it was full of bleakness.
As a daughter of a concubine, QinXin was careful in her childhood life. Naturally, she had seen a lot of women in the back house fighting for a man's affection and designing harmful tricks. When she heard that Min Yu suggested they sat in the pavilion, QinXin could not help but look down. In this season, there was no servant here. If someone fell into pond, they had to wait to be rescued. Even if a life could be save, the body still would freeze.
“You all look, are there any fish down there? I seem to see a red carp!” Min Yu sat on the edge of the pavilion, looking curiously at the pond below, and half of her body leaned out.
Whatever idea Min Yu bore, QinXin generally knew it. But she could not figure out why Min Yu want to do it? Wangye did not like them. Let alone saying that they were “accidentally touched by others” in the pond, which they fell down and drowned directly, Wangye’s heart would not be a little distressed, but would feel happy!
“Meimei, be careful. If you falls down, it will be bad! Nan Xi meimei, you too. Your health is not good, if you fell down and then be frozen, Wangye will be distressed." QinXin did not let Nan Xi came to Min Yu’s side. She enthusiastically ran up and held Nan Xi’s arm, not letting her go to Min Yu’s side.
They each brought with them a maidservant. With so many people here, she guessed that Min Yu dared not push people down directly, as long as she did not stand next to Min Yu, Min Yu would have no chance!
“Humph! QinXin, you really are good!" Min Yu walked slowly to QinXin with both her hands tightly fisted, but she could not say anything in front of Nan Xi. She could only swallow her heart and say that her body suddenly felt uncomfortable, she had to go back first.
“I’m so angry!” Damn QinXin! Min Yu endured her temper and complimented Nan Xi for half a day, so as to make something unexpected together with her!
Min Yu dared not bring Nan Xi to the pond alone, but what if they fell down together? If they fell down together, would there be no excuse for Wangye to punish her? That Nan Xi looked soft and weak that it took so many days for her to recover just after a fall! If she fell into that cold pond, she would be frozen to death. When that time came, she would not survive even if she was favored!
“Why did she always oppose me?!” Min Yu thought that today’s plan had been destroyed by QinXin. Her heart’s resentment could not be swallowed up! She thought that she should go to her maternal grandparent’s house and meet her grandmother.
When Xu ChangAn and Xiao QingYan returned home together, Xiao QingYan almost fell asleep. Xu ChangAn thought that instead of bringing the person back to the main courtyard, he should bring the person to the study room. On the way, he sent people to Nan Xi's place to inform that Wangye had drunk too much and had fallen asleep; he would not go to see her today. “Miss, maidservant had inquired clearly, Wangfei had returned to his courtyard, and Wangye rested alone in his study. Shall we go and see him and send him some sober soup[1]?”
“The sober soup is no longer needed. Wangfei must have prepared it for Wangye. Let’s go and have a look.” Xiao QingYan used to come here almost every day, but now he was drunk, Nan Xi should have to go and see.
Xiao QingYan’s study was called a study. In fact, it was more like a small suite, where the parlor room was complete with everything.
After arriving at Xiao QingYan’s room, Nan Xi failed to enter; she was stopped by two manservants at the door.
“Miss Nan, Wangye has gone to rest. You’d better come back tomorrow.” Nan Xi did not think that a manservant would dare to stop her way. Had these people not known her position in this Wang Residence these days? Nan Xi just frowned slightly, but did not say anything. Lark beside her opened her mouth and taught the manservants a lesson.
“How dare you stop my Miss? Aren’t you afraid when Wangye wake up tomorrow and punish you?”
“Miss Nan, you and your maidservant should not make things difficult. Wangye has indeed fallen asleep, and Wangfei had instructed that nobody is allowed to disturb Wangye's rest. You should go back.” The manservants here had never heard of Nan Xi. However, since Wangye had really fallen asleep, if Nan Xi went in because she was worried about people, naturally Wangye could not be angry with people he liked. Then the unlucky person was himself. Ah still, Wangfei also had indeed instructed. He dared not going against the master’s words.
Seeing that manservant was really not making way for the superior, Nan Xi knew it’s useless to make things difficult with the servants. Besides, Xiao QingYan did fall asleep, and she was not necessarily want to see.
“Lark, let’s go back.” Wangfei had instructed…. Nan Xi originally thought that she did not need to pay attention to a male Wangfei, who could not be loved by Wangye at all. Now it seemed that she was wrong?
“Miss, don’t be sad. Tomorrow, Wangye will come to our courtyard. You tell him what happened today, that there’s a guy with no eyesight who eats good fruit!”
“Let's go, don't talk so much.”
“Yes, maidservant won't say.”
After Xu ChangAn returned, he was first given some food prepared for him. Then he thought about today's matter while eating. As a result, the more he thought about it, the more confused he was, and the more he did not know what was going on in the emperor’s mind.
From the emperor's performance of today, Xu ChangAn never doubts the emperor’s feelings for Xiao QingYan and Xiao QingYu. Since he had such deep feelings for his two sons, why should he do such a thing to Xiao QingYan?
As the emperor, did he not know that for the son of an emperor, being the heir apparent of a throne was more than a power or a life preserver for them?
“Dongxue, today I want to have an early rest. Let the maidservants prepare the bath water.” Just then, Xu ChangAn felt apprehensive. Although it was only an apprehension, Xu ChangAn still felt very tired. He was ready to have an early rest. Tomorrow, he was not sure what else was waiting for him.   “Yes, Wangfei.”
He said he wanted to have an early rest, but after sleeping in bed, Xu ChangAn turned and turned and couldn’t sleep. He could not help thinking of today, and could not help analyzing what the emperor wanted to do in his heart. But he could not think of a reason for it, it also made him felt some inexplicable anxiousness and oppression.
“Who… Xiao QingYan?” With another familiar sound and the subsequent alcohol smell that invaded his nose, made Xu ChangAn instantly confirmed who the extra person in his bed was.
“You're smart this time. You know it’s Wang.”
Xiao QingYan’s body still had a strong smell of wine. Xu ChangAn even doubted that Xiao QingYan had changed the clothes that he wore to enter the palace today. Otherwise, how could he still have such a strong smell of alcohol on his body?
He dared not ask Xiao QingYan whether he had changed clothes and bathed or not. Xu ChangAn had to ask how the person came here again.
“Wangye, you…” Xu ChangAn wanted to ask him where he came from. The person beside him seemed not ready to answer his words, but strongly pushed himself into the quilt.
With great difficulty, the person squeezed himself in. Xu ChangAn thought that this time he(XQY) would be well-behaved, but the person who finally put himself in the quilt was even more badly behaved now; even more than last time. This time Xiao QingYan did not only touch with his hands, but also with his legs.
“…” Wrapped around by hands and legs, Xu ChangAn had no idea what to say. He even thought that this was Xiao QingYan’s former room; could he be sleepwalking and then run directly to his most familiar place?
“Have you made my inner clothes yet?”
“…” Xu ChangAn's brain was in confusion just thinking of Xiao QingYan’s abnormal behavior, and with Xiao QingYan’s words ringing in his ear, made him directly stunned; his whole body suddenly motionless.
Made Xiao QingYan’s inner clothes… It seemed that there was such a thing, but… He had not, and he completely forgot about it.
“That… Your Highness, I really can’t make clothes. Can I tell the embroidery lady in Wang Residence to do it for you tomorrow? Make two more sets!” How much did he want to make?
“Your own inner clothes are made by your maids. Why does Wang want others to do it? You are my Wangfei, you should do it!”
“Wangye, you’re drunk.” Today, the father and sons were not talking, each of them drinking to their heart's content. Oh great, being drunk like this and came to trouble him!
Xu ChangAn did not know whether Xiao QingYan would remember the things done in drunken state. Xu ChangAn even wanted to cover him(XQY) directly in the quilt, not let him talk, and let him sleep directly. But being wrapped around like an octopus, could he(XCA) sleep tonight?
“Xu ChangAn…”
“Ah?” Xiao QingYan called him by his name again? Xu ChangAn did not know what Xiao QingYan was doing; his(XQY) head arched around his neck. The heavy breath coming out of his(XQY) mouth hit his ears; it’s hot and itchy. It’s very uncomfortable.
“You… Did you have an intimate maidservant or… or manservant at your side before?” Xu ChangAn did not know why Xiao QingYan asked such a question, Xu ChangAn did not evade it. But this sticker was too close to him, he was really uncomfortable. He reached out and pushed the person away slightly. At the same time, he slowly answered, “In the past, Chunyu and Dongxue were with my mother, and there was a manservant at my side who took care of my living. But after I was sent out of Xu house by my father, that manservant disappeared. Only Yang Momo, Chunyu and Dongxue followed me to the small village." Only Yang Momo and the two girls were willing to suffer with him.
Although Xu family had come to such an end now, thinking of the past, Xu ChangAn was still sad. The three hopeless years seemed to have been engraved in his mind. He thought of his life, and he would never forget those desperate days.
“No! I… I’m asking you, asking you… whether, whether… Like this! With them!”
“Ah? …Ha!” Considering what Xiao QingYan might have meant, Xu ChangAn did not know why he laughed directly. He really did not think that Xiao QingYan would feel embarrassed when he talked about such things.
Weren't the male children of Imperial Family had a personal maidservant from the palace at their side when they reached 14 years old?
“What are you laughing at?” Xu ChangAn’s laughter made Xiao QingYan felt a little upset. Although the words he spoke were fierce, there was not a bit of anger heard in Xu ChangAn’s ears, but only curiosity from the bottom of his(XQY) heart.
It was strange that Xiao QingYan should care about such a thing.
“You say it! Are there any?"
“No one. When I was sixteen years old, my mother had arranged for me to have a family, but then something happened to my mother, and later—"
“Oh. That’s good!” Xu ChangAn’s words were interrupted by Xiao QingYan before they were finished. Xiao QingYan heard only the first two words, and he did not want to hear the latter.
There wasn't any, just fine!
Later, how else would he have such thoughts, and who would look at him? Xu ChangAn silently said in his heart. After he had said what he had just said, he had been looking at Xiao QingYan, albeit being beside him, he could not see Xiao QingYan clearly.
Xu ChangAn also did not know why Xiao QingYan asked this. Did Xiao QingYan mind if he had ever touched a woman before? But… Why would Xiao QingYan mind about this?
Xu ChangAn was not a person who blindly knew how to escape, nor was he really dull enough to completely fail to perceive a person’s feelings. He generally knew that Xiao QingYan didn’t hate him, even though it’s good for him, but that’s all. He knew he should be satisfied with that, but he still felt lost.
A person’s life was not long, just in a rush of decades. But it was not short either, decades… Thousands of days and nights. If in these long days and nights there was no one to accompany, it would be a very lonely life.
Suddenly fell into a dilemma, Xu ChangAn did not know what to do. In accordance with the previous idea, directly let a cicada shed its carapace[2], let them all free, or continue to cling to this person’s short-term tenderness, continue to regard him as a shelter, and then in three or five years…
In three or five years, even if there was no enmity, they would like strangers.
Footnote:
[1] Sober soup is generally hot and sour or sweet and sour, most of which have the effect of hangover appetizers and increase appetite.
[2] the cicada sheds its carapace (idiom); fig. to vanish leaving an empty shell; a crafty escape plan