Renee is walking again today, listening to the footsteps behind her.
Whenever the sound of a cane, āTapā, was heard, the sound of footsteps, āStompā followed. As she continued forward, there was always a feeling of movement that followed her every step.
Am I exaggerating if I think Iām already accustomed to that beat? Renee, who found the thought that occurred to her amusing, chuckled a little and continued reflecting on these past few days.
The Paladin, who introduced himself as Vera, was a man of few words.
It could be said that his figure seemed to be knightly or priestly, but Renee recalled how he had a different side to him.
Perhaps the person called Vera wasnāt good at expressing himself.
Thatās what occurred to her.
The conversation they had the day before flashed through Reneeās head.
When asked why he became a knight, he answered with fervor.
It was conveyed with some kind of burning and longing avidity.
What made him feel that way? What did Vera mean by the light? The light his sword needs to protect. Why did he feel so enthusiastic about it?
Such thoughts flashed through her mind as the sound of footsteps followed her. Renee unconsciously spoke out a question.
āWhat kind of place is the Holy Kingdom?ā
It was a question that she didnāt realize that she would ask herself.
Finally, realizing that she said something after muttering it out loud, Renee uttered a silentĀ āOopsāĀ and then waited patiently for Veraās answer, thinking,Ā āSince I said it, I might as well hear his answerā.
Renee heard the answer after taking three more steps forward.
ā⦠Itās no different from any other place.ā
Out came a deep voice.
Renee halted her stroll. Her head turned in the direction of the voice.
Turning to the direction in which the voice was heard was an act that Renee did as a habit when she wanted to express her interest in the other personās words.
āIs that so?ā
āYes, there are people, there are houses. It is a peaceful settlement.ā
āWell, are there any particular features? Or something unique you can only see there.ā
The question was followed by silence.
Did I ask something wrong? Is that a difficult question for him to answer?
As Renee was worried with a speculative concern about Veraās difficulties, his belated answer came as follows.
āā¦Although there are people there, itās better to call them monsters instead of people.ā
āMonsters?ā
āYes, they are people with a way of thinking that is beyond the norm.ā
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Reneeās head tilted at the following remark.
āWhat kind of people are they?ā
āā¦Thereās nothing worth mentioning.ā
Words that seem determined at first glance.
Words that could be interpreted as ill will towards them, but Renee could realize that there was no semblance of negativity mixed in those words.
āHe doesnāt seem to hate them.ā
If Vera had heard it, he might have been frightened, but there was no way for Renee to know that.
āWell, that makes me even more curious.ā
āā¦They arenāt evil, but there is no need to be close to them.ā
Those were bitter words.
Theyāre members of the clergy, right? Arenāt they the ones who devote their lives to the Gods? So what kind of people are you even describing?
For Vera, it was a simple warning that he said in the hopes that Renee would keep her distance from them, but everything that transpired in this world was like that. In reality, nothing goes according to plan.
In Reneeās mind, curiosity began to kindle about those people who Vera called āmonstersā.
āAnd what else?ā
āā¦All the buildings in the Holy Kingdom are painted white.ā
Short descriptive words were heard. Renee almost burst out in laughter.
Thatās because a mildly irritated tone lingered in Veraās tone.
Does he not like the color white?Ā While Renee was thinking of such a thought, Veraās words continued.
āThose who built the Holy Kingdom all had a few screws loose⦠Iām sure you will find a great disparity with their mindset.ā
Oh, he flared up.
Renee felt she was about to burst into laughter again and barely endured it when she heard Veraās cussing tone. Soon, she responded with a smile.
It was a retort that, for the very first time, showed some semblance of emotion, with it being a little mischievous.
āI guess you donāt like white.ā
Renee answered, fiddling with her hair.
And thenā¦
āNever. Never have I said that I hate it.ā
A reply that followed almost immediately.
āI donāt hate white. Itās just that I donāt enjoy something being too excessive because I believe there should be moderation in everything. So the color white⦠I donāt hate it in the least.ā
There was an immense panic while he was stringing those words. He even emphasized the exact words twice.
In the meantime, the rustling sound continued, and Renee had no choice but to think, āVera is a rather tactless personā.
āIām kidding.ā
Renee, who answered with a subtle smile, then remembered why Vera was so polite to her.
..Perhaps itās because of the stigma that was bestowed upon her.
No matter how naĆÆve I am, isnāt it obvious?
Isnāt that why they came to her, who had no contact with the Holy Kingdom? Because they had a way of knowing who bears the Godsā stigmata?
Therefore, he is sure that I bear a stigma, so he is treating me politely.
When that thought suddenly occurred to her, Renee felt suffocated.
She didnāt want to think about it, but something revoked her thoughts about her stigma.
A feeling of suffocation filled her heart. Feeling it, Renee moved her cane again to shake off those suffocating thoughts.
Tap.
Thus, it was followed by another āstompā of footsteps.
****
Some things shouldnāt be taken away, even as a joke.
That is even more so, if the thing that was taken away could spiral someoneās whole life into the abyss.
Renee woke up feeling warm heat all over her body.
Renee didnāt know whether the heat was caused by the sun or whether something was really burning around her.
There is no way to know because she lost her vision.
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Just guessing through the calm surrounding atmosphere, she muttered out loud, āIt must be the sunā.
ā¦When she realized that the world could only be recognized through sounds or senses like this, she felt so many emotions seething inside her.
The past bothered her again.
Her light was suddenly stolen one day. As a result, she couldnāt walk a single step properly.
From that moment on, it reminded her of the past, as now she had to live through her life in total darkness.
The misery of living a life where she could barely recognize her surroundings by matching the scenery. The place Renee remembered now was trying to devour her mind.
Renee was always afraid.
She was afraid of the invisible world and her unforeseen future of living like this for the rest of her life.
So Renee prayed.
There was never a day when she didnāt pray.
She has never missed a single prayer.
With every moment of every day, she prayed that the light in her eyes returned.
I wanted you to save me from this poor fate.
I thought they were those who could do that much for me.
ā¦So, there must be a moment when her prayers would be answered.
The week of the midnight sun.
The power and divinity of the Gods.
Renee could certainly feel them, despite being blind.
Things she had never felt in her entire life.Ā But the moment it began to wrap around her body, Renee clearly realized what it was. It would be correct to say that she was intuitively aware of it.
There was hope in her heart. She was filled with joy.
Oh, at last, her prayers have reached the sky.
That vast emotion spread throughout made Renee shed tears and earnestly pray more, the moment she felt that presence.
Please return my light.
I want that brilliance back in my life.
She clumsily extracted her poor divinity as she prayed for the wish to come true.
Thus, her reserves of divinity had dried up fast, and she felt her lungs being choked.
She felt her head was going to burn from wielding a power she did not know how to use.
But nevertheless, she couldnāt stop in her tracks.
She didnāt think of stopping the light that may come back again, hopefully thinking of herself being able to run without worrying again.
So she squeezed out everything she had within her and made a wish, butā¦
Nothing changed.
No matter how much divinity she used, no light returned to her eyes, even if she desperately used all her divine powers.
The world was still engulfed in darkness, and Renee was a blind girl who could not walk a single step without a cane.
Hope quickly changed its visage and took on the form of despair.
Renee felt immense sadness after that despair shattered her hopes.
She could realize first-hand how miserable her hope seemed.
At that time, she, for the very first time, realized how deep her resentment could be.
After that day, Renee no longer believed in the Gods. She didnāt pray either.
The Gods made her miserable, and it was to such a world that all she could give back was resentment.
For Renee, who was dying of hunger, the Gods were wicked beings who ridiculed her with breadcrumbs, placing them out of her reach. They were the evil of the world who poked fun at her for being so despondent and giggled delightfully at her misery.
Therefore, she will no longer seek the Godsā help, and no matter what they want, she will never follow them. Renee recalled that clear resolution in her mind.
āAhā¦ā
Suddenly, a sigh came out of Reneeās mouth.
As soon as she opened her eyes, she felt a myriad of emotions surging through her.
Renee felt a feeling of irritation all over her being and closed her eyes to shake it off.
She decided not to think about it and ignore it thoroughly. She couldnāt afford to give a single emotion to the pain.
Wiggling around. Reneeās hand found the cane.
She felt so dizzy that she reckoned that she needed some fresh air outside.
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Pivoting herself with the cane, she raised herself up and proceeded to open the door.
āā¦Are you alright?ā
She heard a familiar voice that followed her for these past few days.
A Paladin Knight from the Holy Kingdom is one of the Godsā servants whom Renee despises.
But nevertheless, he is a strange man who she canāt seem to hate.
Renee turned in the direction in which she heard the voice and greeted him.
āGood morning.ā
āHave you had a peaceful nightās rest?ā
āYes, what about sir knight?ā
āIt wasnāt bad.ā
Renee smiled gently upon hearing his answer and asked.
āAre you going to follow me today as well?ā
ā⦠I apologize.ā
What are you apologizing for?Ā Renee smiled subtly at Veraās reaction, repeating the words āI apologizeā like a parrot. Then she began moving her cane forward.
The gentle weather warmed her up. In the breeze, it felt like her pent-up frustrations from earlier were being washed away.
Renee breathed a sigh of relief but felt a vague sense of guilt rising from hearing the sound of footsteps that followed her.
He followed her these few days to take her to the Holy Kingdom. Of course, the sooner he knew she didnāt like the Holy Kingdom, the better, but he never talked about it.
Guilt welled up inside of her for deceiving him.
Renee bit her lips with such heavy feelings for a while, then squeezed her heart and composed herself.
ā⦠I apologize.ā
No matter how much she thought about it, she didnāt want to be a servant of the Gods.