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Chapter 166 : Self-Inflicted Sin
Title Reference – 自作孽 (zìzuòniè) – disaster one brings on oneself / to be responsible for something bad that happens to oneself / to have only oneself to blame.
Trigger Warning: miscarriage, domestic violence.
There are no impenetrable walls in the world, especially not when a lady was seen almost naked in public and was from a noble family. Rumours flew thick and fast throughout the capital. However, when it rained, it poured; the heavens seemed to think that the Jiang fu hadn’t suffered enough before another piece of gossip soon emerged.
Within the Jinying Wangfu, Jiang Ruan sat at a table enjoying top-grade purple bamboo shoot tea and peony tea cakes with cream, which were sweet but not so cloying that it would irritate the senses. The Jinying Wangfu employed only the best chefs; the food they made was simple yet exquisite, and even the imperial palace wasn’t able to reach such a level. The Wangfu’s servants had mentioned to Lu Zhu that the late Prince Jinying was a man who knew how to enjoy life, and so had carefully selected these chefs from many different places. But after he and his wife passed on, the manor fell to Xiao Shao whose nature and taste ran to the simpler side, and the chefs became useless despite their skills. But now that a young lady had finally come, they all wanted to get into her good graces in the hopes of having more opportunities to show off their skills.
Purple Bamboo Shoot (Zisun) Tea
Although this reason sounded a little ridiculous, Lu Zhu still gradually relaxed, because through this, the servants revealed their true thoughts, that is, they sincerely took Jiang Ruan as their future mistress. The biggest worry for the maids had been the servants because although Xiao Shao himself hadn’t said anything, Jiang Ruan was marrying into a higher social class with this marriage. However, no one in the Jinying Wangfu treated her with any less respect than she deserved.
Lian Qiao walked in with a smile as Jiang Ruan sipped her tea. “Miss.”
Jiang Ruan hummed in reply as Lian Qiao put freshly picked flowers in a vase painted with gold accents. Although the Jinying Wangfu was magnificent, it always felt a little lacking, perhaps due to Xiao Shao’s cold temperament. It was fine when Xiao Shao was alone because he didn’t care about his material possessions, but now that Jiang Ruan was going to spend her future days here, Lian Qiao wondered how she could add some colour to the place. After all, the minds of men and women were different. For example, just adding a few stalks of flowers brought a sense of liveliness to the place.
“Miss,” Lian Qiao said as she arranged the flowers, “I heard something interesting outside, guess what it is?” Although she tried to keep calm, she couldn’t help but reveal her joy.
Jiang Ruan glanced sideways at her. “Something happened to Fifth Yiniang?”
“Miss, you’re amazing.” After a stunned pause, Lian Qiao ran in front of Jiang Ruan and blinked innocently. “That’s right! I heard it as soon as I went out because everyone is talking about it. They are saying that Master kicked Fifth Yiniang and made her miscarry!”
“A miscarriage?” Something flashed across Jiang Ruan’s face.
“It’s a long story.” Lian Qiao sat on a nearby stool, visibly excited, like a storyteller performing at a restaurant. “I heard that because Fifth Yiniang was busy all day yesterday, Master invited an imperial physician to look at her. It was fine at first, but when the physician was about to arrive, she suddenly said she felt unwell and wanted to take a nap. Master is shrewd, you know, and he immediately felt that something was off so he argued with her, and then..!” Lian Qiao wanted to drag it out, teasing Jiang Ruan’s curiosity, but when she looked up, Jiang Ruan’s expression had hardly fluctuated, as if she’d already expected all this. She rubbed her nose in frustration and continued, “And then two big cotton pillows fell out of her belly!”
Lian Qiao seemed to be vibrating out of her skin, she was so animated. “When Master realised she’d lied to him, with a flurry of actions faster than his words, he gave her a hard kick, and then,” Lian Qiao coughed, “this is the important bit. Fifth Yiniang screamed and said wretchedly, ‘You’re so heartless, how can you treat me like this?’ To which Master replied, ‘Ying’er, I was absolutely sincere, yet you were not! My heart is broken!’”
“Stop, stop, stop…” Jiang Ruan rubbed her forehead. From the way Lian Qiao spoke, you’d be forgiven for thinking that she saw everything happen with her own eyes. If she continued, no doubt everyone in the manor would come to listen, and they wouldn’t even need to pay for the privilege. “No need to continue like this,” she said.
Although feeling regretful that she couldn’t exert her talent as a storyteller, Lian Qiao nonetheless summarised honestly, “However, after Master kicked her, Fifth Yiniang bled, and the imperial physician arrived to examine Fifth Yiniang. This time Master was truly furious because his one kick got rid of a child in her belly. She really was pregnant, not even three months along.”
Jiang Ruan fell into thought for a while before she said, “I see.”
It turned out that with an imperial physician’s imminent arrival, even a normally calm person like Hong Ying would become agitated, and agitated people had a tendency to make stupid decisions. If Hong Ying had minded herself as usual, she would have never made this kind of mistake. It was probably only because she was so nervous that she made such a clumsy excuse. And even though Jiang Quan favoured Hong Ying, he wasn’t an idiot. That said, he’d become much more sensitive to matters regarding his heir after the incident with Xia Yan. Therefore, how could he not become angry when Hong Ying acted so suspiciously? There was no way for him to swallow his anger, not when he’d been deceived by his women one after another, so no matter how much he usually doted upon Hong Ying, it was impossible for him to forgive her this time.
But who would have guessed that she really was pregnant? Hong Ying likely didn’t know it herself and had initially thought it was a fluke. Perhaps it was because she’d been successful before when she had used strong drugs to imitate a false pregnancy that she didn’t recognize a real pregnancy this time. However, this time she truly was, and it was lost with a single kick from Jiang Quan.
The imperial physician who examined Hong Ying didn’t keep his mouth shut at all, and he told his colleagues everything that happened, perhaps thinking that the Jiang family was perfect gossip fodder. There were so many physicians within the palace from many different backgrounds, both noble and peasant, that before long, the news that Jiang Quan caused his own concubine to miscarry with a kick spread throughout the capital. No one from the highest office to the lowest labourer didn’t know about it.
Jiang Ruan lowered her eyes. At this time in her previous life, Hong Ying had been ruthlessly declawed by Xia Yan, with no chance of having any offspring. If she hadn’t grown greedy in this life, perhaps she could have lived well for a time, but now her hopes for a prosperous future were ruined. Jiang Quan would never show mercy for a woman who made him into a joke and her fate was no longer in doubt. However, the one suffering the most must be Jiang Quan himself. With Jiang Chao estranged and few other sons in the Jiang family, he’d placed great importance on the child within Hong Ying’s belly. Yet now they were dead by his own hand. It must be a huge blow to someone like him.
“Miss, that’s not all,” Lian Qiao said. “Fifth Yiniang has ended up like this, but Second Miss isn’t any better. Ever since noon yesterday, there have been a lot of people crowding around the fu’s gates asking to marry her, saying that they will take responsibility for seeing her body. But they won’t leave no matter what- even when guards come to the rescue- and they lay at the door crying, saying that the Jiang fu doesn’t care about human life. Master is furious, but is apologizing to everyone by saying that Second Miss will be sent to a temple to become a Buddhist nun. Second Miss fainted when she heard about this and then argued with him for a long while but he hasn’t relented. Today, Master sent her to a temple a hundred miles away, and rumours say that he might really want her to become a real nun.
“Becoming a nun is letting her off easy,” Lian Qiao said angrily, “we should make her marry those people instead. But Master has always loved Second Miss so it would be surprising if he let her ruin her life like this.”
“How can that be?” Jiang Ruan replied lightly. Lian Qiao looked up when she heard her strange tone, only to be shocked by the indifference in her eyes. “He’s doing his best to pave the way for Second Sister.”
Wasn’t that right? If Jiang Su Su married one of those street ruffians, her life would truly be ruined. However, if she shaved her hair instead and became a nun, it would not only save the Jiang fu’s face, she would also have a new life and not be present for her face to be trampled upon all the time. Once she distanced herself from the secular world of the capital, Jiang Su Su would eventually fade from people’s memories, until there was an opportunity for her to return to the capital again. And as for when- that would obviously be when the succession struggle settled; once the current Emperor had died; and a new Emperor ascended the throne. Thus, in the end, Xuan Li’s great cause would finally be complete.
Jiang Quan would be richly rewarded when that happened, and when he had fame, fortune and power at his fingertips, who would care about Jiang Su Su’s past? He’d made a good move. Be it the past or the present, Jiang Quan had always done his best to give this daughter of his a smooth life.
Jiang Su Su once said that she couldn’t stand even a grain of sand in her eyes. In this life, Jiang Su Su was the sand in Jiang Ruan’s eyes so now she was ruthless and hated seeing this act of filial piety between father and daughter the most; Jiang Quan might have made a good move, but she just didn’t want to cooperate.
“Lian Qiao, you go find Jin Er,” Jiang Ruan said as she lowered her gaze, “and tell him I want his help with something.”
The wangfu’s hidden guards Jin Er and Jin San couldn’t be too far from Jiang Ruan. Lian Qiao made a sound in response, then asked, “What do you want Jin Er to do, Miss?”
* * *
Lian Qiao searched for Jin Er outside for a long time without spotting him, but she did see a somewhat familiar figure wearing a guard uniform in the distance. Although she couldn’t remember where exactly they had met, they were nonetheless a subordinate of Xiao Shao. She approached them and asked, “Excuse me, do you know where Jin Er is?”
They turned around, revealing sword-like eyebrows on a handsome man’s face. He stared at Lian Qiao for such a long time that she began to feel strange, and her spirited personality soon revealed itself as she raised her eyebrows. “What are you looking at!”
“So it was you talking inside just now,” the man commented, and although there was nothing strange in his expression, his words contained some ridicule.
Lian Qiao stiffened, then retorted angrily, “What’s it to you! You even eavesdropped! Just wait until I tell my Miss, and when Wangye knows, let’s see how he deals with you!”
This man was none other than Ye Feng. For the last few years, Xiao Shao had abandoned him in Yi Bao Pavilion to collect information, and even though the days were boring, he couldn’t extract himself without Master’s orders. Then, several days ago, Xiao Shao recalled him for the first time because he was about to go on an expedition and had some tasks for him. He’d been rather surprised at how articulate Lian Qiao was as she told Jiang Ruan everything about what happened to the Jiang fu, thinking that if there was such a jester next to him on his missions, he’d never be bored again.
His brows twitched upon hearing Lian Qiao speak about Jiang Ruan. Last time, it was precisely because of him being mistaken about her identity that Xiao Shao threw him to the side for years. Therefore, now that her status had risen another level to the future mistress of the Jinying Wangfu, if he annoyed her, or even one of her maids, Xiao Shao would hardly forgive him easily, at least not with his tendency to protect his wife. “I was wrong, why are you looking for Jin Er?” he immediately asked.
“Miss wants him to do something.” Lian Qiao was a straightforward person and rarely ever petty. Since Ye Feng already apologised, there was no need for her to pursue it.
“He’s doing a task outside the wangfu right now,” Ye Feng said.
Lian Qiao frowned. “Then, when will he be back?”
“Tomorrow evening probably,” Ye Feng answered. “Why, is it urgent?”
“Tomorrow evening is a bit late…” Lian Qiao bit at her lips a little anxiously. “Why did he have to be away at a time like this?”
Ye Feng became curious. “It’s the same if I do it.”
“You?” Lian Qiao shot him a sideways look, then shook her head. “I don’t believe it.”
The way she squinted her eyes unconsciously revealed a hint of girlish charm. The maids around Jiang Ruan were quite outstanding in appearance- Bai Zhi was dignified, Lian Qiao was feisty, Lu Zhu was quick-witted, and Tian Zhu was calm and steady- and each had their own special characteristics. And among these people, Lian Qiao and Lu Zhu were the most popular with men. That had become clear not long after they arrived at the Jinying Wangfu, as Xiao Shao’s subordinates showed their attentiveness towards them.
The women Ye Feng usually interacted with were either cold and stoic Jinyi guards or rouge-cheeked flowers at a brothel, very different from someone with a straightforwardly aggressive temperament who was sincere in her every move. At this moment, a pair of almond eyes and peachy cheeks were set atop lips that were slightly reddened from sullenness, making her face more than a little puffed out. Ye Feng’s heart suddenly moved, giving rise to a uniquely youthful competitive urge, and he snatched up Lian Qiao’s wrist without waiting for her to speak. “You don’t believe it? I’ll make you believe it!” Saying so, he dragged her along as he jumped out of the courtyard, ignoring her panicked shrieking.
Up on the roof, Jin San spat out the blade of grass in her mouth and said a single word: “Idiot.”
Jin Si, pouting, patted her sleeve. “Come on, time to work!”
* * *
It was said that on Mt. Yun Ding, trees grew in place of grass, muddy trails criss-crossed the slopes, and carriages caused dirty water to splash up in their wake. The sky was gradually darkening, yet the travelers were still far from their destination with nowhere to rest for the night. Thus this convoy’s passengers were destined to camp outside.
Even so, the carriage was richly decorated, at least from the outside, and the driver was also experienced. For the entire journey, he’d very considerately minimised the bumping and swaying as much as possible.
“Let’s make camp here,” the head guard said.
Inside the carriage, Jiang Su Su had a pale yet indifferent mien. When Qing Ting saw this, she comforted her in a soft voice, “It’s already late. Miss, let’s rest here and drink some soup.”
Ever since Jiang Su Su sold Hu Die to the kiln because of that placenta incident, she hadn’t promoted any of her second-rank maids, leaving an empty spot for a first-rank maid next to her. Therefore, only Qing Ting served at her side. Qing Ting was also Jiang Su Su’s confidant; she was loyal and would sometimes help give ideas, but never thought that Jiang Su Su would one day fall to such a stage. Nonetheless, she was a maid, and naturally had to share weal and woe with her mistress. Even if that meant going to a temple and becoming a nun.
But Qing Ting also understood that Jiang Quan’s many years of affection towards Jiang Su Su weren’t false, and that this journey to the temple was part of his plan. After all, it was useless for Jiang Su Su to stay in the capital after her reputation was ruined. They only needed to wait for the rumours to subside before finding an opportunity to bring her back to start afresh. Qing Ting had tried to persuade Jiang Su Su with this reasoning, but nothing worked. Last night, Jiang Quan had drugged Jiang Su Su’s food, and she woke inside the carriage this morning, still weak and fatigued but energetic enough to angrily scold Qing Ting. Gradually, she went from being on the verge of collapse to calmness, but her expression was strangely cold.
Qing Ting didn’t dwell on it, she only thought that Jiang Su Su had thought it through and realised the benefits of this course of action, and moreover, she was just relieved that she wasn’t making trouble.
Jiang Su Su glanced at the soup Qing Ting handed over. “I know, but let the guards stay further away, I don’t want to be around those servants.”
After thinking for a moment, Qing Ting went out and ordered the guards to retreat a little further away. Afterall, there wasn’t much danger here, and even if there was, they could handle it in time.
By the time she returned to the carriage, Jiang Su Su had already finished the soup. “It’s been hard, you have some too,” Jiang Su Su said.
Qing Ting gave Jiang Su Su a flattered look. Although she was Jiang Su Su’s confidant and was treated generously, Jiang Su Su inherently considered herself a superior being who didn’t even respect Jiang Ruan, let alone a servant. It was extraordinarily unusual for her to speak so peaceably to Qing Ting.
“No need to look at me like that,” Jiang Su Su said as she lowered her head. “Now, I’m just a temple nun, not a nobleman’s daughter. There is no difference in our status.”
When Qing Ting heard this, she knew that Jiang Su Su still hated the circumstances. “Please don’t say that. Miss, it’s just a temporary hardship, but you’re still the di daughter of the Jiang fu. I will always be your servant.”
Jiang Su Su smiled thinly. “You’ve spoken very well. Drink some soup, you’ve also suffered with me today.”
It wasn’t easy for Qing Ting to refuse her repeated entreaties, so she lifted the bowl and drank. Only afterwards did she see Jiang Su Su staring at her unblinkingly. With goosebumps tingling her flesh, she asked in a tiny voice, “Do you have any orders, Miss?”
Jiang Su Su let out a sigh. “Qing Ting, am I beautiful?”
“Miss is naturally beautiful, so beautiful that no one in the capital can say otherwise,” Qing Ting said. This wasn’t flattery, Jiang Su Su was born pretty, and only became more so after practising seduction techniques.
“If I’m so beautiful, how can I become a nun?” Jiang Su Su suddenly flung back.
“Miss…” Qing Ting was stunned.
“I won’t be a nun,” Jiang Su Su declared with her lips twisted into a weird smile. “I’m so beautiful, of course I can find somewhere to take refuge with and receive the highest honours. How can a face like mine be wasted?”
Feeling uneasy at Jiang Su Su’s strangeness, Qing Ting tried to speak, but unexpectedly felt her mind become wrapped in fog. She staggered, and falteringly supported herself on the carriage’s little table. “Miss, you… you drugged it?”
“I won’t be a nun,” Jiang Su Su smiled.
Qing Ting understood what she planned to do. She mustered her energy to shout, “Help—!”
The voice abruptly stopped. Her eyes widened as she stared at Jiang Su Su in disbelief. Beads of crimson pearled on the dagger in Jiang Su Su’s hands, and with a harsh yank, Qing Ting’s body slowly fell. She opened her mouth like a beached fish but couldn’t speak, only able to make helpless rasping noises.
Jiang Su Su didn’t give her a single glance. “I originally wanted to spare you for the sake of your many years of service, yet you couldn’t even recognise that I was doing you a favour! What a mutt blocking my path.”
As she spoke, she took off her outer clothes.
The guards stationed outside heard the commotion and wanted to investigate, only to hear Jiang Su Su say loudly, “Go, throw this out!”
Immediately following this, ‘Qing Ting’ stepped into the dim moonlight while carrying a tray. When the guards saw this, they went back to drinking and laughing, and didn’t bother to take another look.
Jiang Su Su ran for at least a stick of incense’s time, and didn’t relax until she spotted the entrance to a grove of trees in front of her. She took off another piece of clothing that was stained with Qing Ting’s blood in disgust and threw it on the ground, then clutched at the letter which was hidden in her sleeve.
When she awoke that morning, someone had nailed a letter to the carriage. The letter only stated that its author had admired her for a long time and wasn’t willing to see her enter a temple, so they would become her protector and take her under their wings.
From the paper’s faint peach blossom scent and the script’s smooth handwriting, it was probably from someone in a high-ranking family. Although Jiang Su Su wasn’t certain who it was, she expected it was one of the young noblemen’s sons who held affection for her in the past. Before, she would have dismissed them out of hand, but now that even Jiang Quan was abandoning her, this person had become a life-saving rope. She firmly believed that if she could use her beauty to capture their heart, then climb up again step by step in the future, it would be better than becoming a nun. This person had also included a packet of sedatives, which was why she chose this plan.
They asked her to wait within the forest, but she didn’t know when they would come. Now, it was dark and the wind was strong, making Jiang Su Su feel a little scared.
Just as she was working herself up into a panic, she heard the sound of footsteps coming from behind her. With her heart leaping in joy, Jiang Su Su hurriedly turned around, asking, “Are you the young master who wants to save Su Su?”
The footsteps paused, and when a ray of moonlight shone down, Jiang Su Su froze as she saw that the one approaching was just a sturdy middle-aged man with a terrifying scar drawn from his forehead to the corner of his eye. When the man caught sight of her, his lips slowly twitched and revealed a strange smile.