Tears wouldn't stop. I was so frustrated and so pained, I cried my heart out in Lord Cyrus's embrace. His arms were gentle, calming my passion, and that made me even sadder. Anastasia was killed by such a man. She sank to the bottom of the cold river, and her body wasn't even recovered. The one who should be pitied is my sister who died. But now, the one being comforted is just me, who is only crying. It's unbearably sad and frustrating.
"Big sister. Big sister. Big sister."
I called out for my sister in Lord Cyrus's embrace. He remained silent, stroking me all along.
At the corner of my vision, Thomas lifted the man who had fainted, sprawled out. Mio, standing beside him, had an even more stern expression. She looked at her clenched fists and muttered in a bitter voice.
"...We were too late."
"Well, it's a good thing. I told you to stay back, anticipating this."
"Because of that, I had to let Lord Marie and the master hit someone. This was my job."
Mio tried to take the man from Thomas. But Thomas stopped her.
"I'll take him to the police. Please stay here, Lady Mio."
"Why?"
"Because I'm a man."
Thomas said firmly. Mio frowned.
"...I'm stronger than you, you know?"
"That's true. But he doesn't know that. When he wakes up, he'll say something nasty to you, for sure."
"It won't affect me."
"I don't want to hear it. I'm already fed up—sick to my stomach."
"I agree. I'll go with him."
Johann offered. It seemed very rare for him to leave the castle, and Mio's eyes widened. Johann turned to Lord Cyrus and me and bowed deeply.
"He'll try to bluff again at the police, saying he doesn't understand the language. There are few people who can speak Bandelie. Master, if I'm there, things might go more smoothly, and we can give him the appropriate punishment faster."
"...That's true. Thank you."
"We won't go to a nearby station, but to the North District of the capital... The chief there hates foreigners and conducts interrogations and punishments more strictly than anywhere else."
"Ha ha, that's great. I hope he breaks the law and bans torture and cruel punishments."
Thomas laughed heartily and, along with Johann, carried the man out of the castle.
I suddenly became worried. A police station that hates foreigners... Johann might also be treated badly. No, it's because he has experienced it before.
I tried to stop them, but Lord Cyrus held me back.
"Let him go. Johann is trying to atone for his sins."
"Atonement? For lying to the man?"
Lord Cyrus nodded, and I shook my head.
"That was to make him talk. There's nothing to apologize for."
This time, Lord Cyrus shook his head, holding me tightly and looking down.
"...What Johann said, part of it is true. I... until just now, I hadn't mourned Anastasia's death."
"What...?"
Lord Cyrus's hand on my shoulder was cold.
The palm that had just hit the man and sent him flying was clinging to me like a baby. Lord Cyrus, the Earl of Granado, looked pale.
Mio approached. I thought she was going to comfort the master, but she also bowed her head.
"I am also guilty. ...No, I am much worse. If Anastasia had lived, she would have been an obstacle to your engagement—so I visited the Shadaran family on my own."
"Mio... visited the Shadaran family?"
"I always thought Anastasia was with her parents, bullying Marie."
"What? That's not true!"
I was startled and refuted loudly. I pulled away from Lord Cyrus and defended to the two who were looking down.
"Why such a misunderstanding? My sister did nothing wrong. I was never hit by her or called ugly!"
"But on your birthday, she took the spotlight, surrounded by men, laughing. Not just that day, she made Marie do all the hard work while she dressed up beautifully—"
"That was because of our parents. Anastasia didn't want it!"
I shouted, and tears fell again. I wiped them away before Lord Cyrus could comfort me. I couldn't cry now; I had to clear Anastasia's name. I rubbed my eyes so hard that the skin around them hurt, and Lord Cyrus stopped me.
"It's okay, I already know. ...That's why I am guilty. I even thought her death was divine punishment, that it was well-deserved. I proposed to Anastasia and invited her to this castle. She got on the carriage because I called her by the wrong name."
"But... falling into the river... it wasn't your fault."
"It was the trigger. ...And I thought, it was for the best, that it was good that Anastasia died. Thanks to that, Marie was safe—"
He groaned in a low voice. Mio was silent. I realized my own sin for the first time.
That's right... I came to this castle as a substitute for my dead sister.
Lord Cyrus said he truly wanted me. If that's true, then I should have been on that carriage.
My sister was the one who took my place.
"---Ah... Ah! Ahh!"
I clutched my head. My ears hurt. The pain was so intense I couldn't stand. A roaring sound, like a turbulent river, echoed in my ears. This was the sound of the canal, the sound Anastasia heard. The sound of the water that she still hears at the bottom of the river.
Dizziness and nausea overwhelmed me, and I fell forward. Just before I hit the ground, Lord Cyrus caught me. But he, too, clung to me, trying to suppress his own sobs.
We supported each other, trembling, sharing our cold body heat, and somehow managed to stand there.
Lord Cyrus whispered,
"I want to apologize to Anastasia. Where is her grave?"
I shook my head. There was no grave for Anastasia. The funeral was very simple, attended only by family, and before I could have her name inscribed in the communal cemetery, I was sent here.
"I want to do what I can for her. At least I want to comfort her spirit. I'll build a grave for Anastasia. Where did she like to go? What kind of scenery did she like?"
I shook my head again. I didn't know. Anastasia rarely left the house. Unlike me, who went out for work and school, she wasn't allowed to get sunburned.
"What did she like to eat? What flowers did she like?"
I didn't know. I didn't know. She might not have known.
Anastasia, who couldn't harvest seasonal vegetables or plant flower seedlings, probably just ate them without knowing their names. She died without knowing the names of the flowers in the garden she looked down upon from the second-floor window.
I, dressed in tattered clothes and filled with my favorite food, while Anastasia, dressed like a doll, was not allowed to gain anything and died empty.
Lord Cyrus and Mio were confessing, but I, too, was guilty. I, too, hadn't mourned her death. I shed tears for the first time only now, after hearing of her death.
To me, Anastasia was an angel. A flower. A gem. A doll I admired.
I only realized now that she was a living person.
Anastasia wasn't taken to heaven by God because she was too beautiful. She was cruelly killed by a petty man.
I only realized this now and, belatedly, mourned her.
...Was the voice I heard in the market a curse from Anastasia, who resented me?
Or was it my own guilt, which I had been ignoring all along, manifesting as a hallucination?
"...I should have been the one to be hit. I had no right to hit that man."
I hit the man before Lord Cyrus did. My right hand hurt.
It was the first time I hit someone, and I had no regrets. That man deserved it. But did I have the right to hit him?
I, too, was one of the people who killed Anastasia.
"Marie did nothing wrong. It's all my fault. ...What can I do...?"
"I'm sorry..."
No amount of atonement or apologies can make up for it. Anastasia is gone.
I shared the unforgivable sin with Lord Cyrus and continued to apologize to my sister endlessly.
---
A little before noon, Thomas and Johann returned.
I let them and Mio, who had been up all night, rest. Then, at noon, Lord Cyrus and I went out of the capital.
The weather had been good these past few days, and the canal's flow was very calm. The surface of the water reflected the clear light, sparkling like glass.
"Goodbye, Anastasia."
I gently placed the bouquet of flowers, selected by Johann, into the river's flow.
We performed the kingdom's customary hand gesture and closed our eyes together.
After we finished praying, Lord Cyrus pointed downstream.
"This canal leads to the central market and the artisan district of the capital."
...The artisan district...
I remembered that Anastasia had once mentioned wanting to become a dressmaker in the capital. When I told Lord Cyrus this, he smiled faintly.
"I see. ...Downstream, the textile workers gather for laundry and dyeing, always bustling. This place... Anastasia might not feel lonely here..."
"...Yes. I hope so..."
The flowers we offered were carried by the current without scattering, flowing down the canal.
Lord Cyrus and I stood side by side, watching them until they disappeared into the distance.