Chapter 25

Chapter 25

CHAPTER 25 – A GAMING WHALE’S WAY OF WASHING CLOTHES

October 31, 2020

Ye Mingjun is Doraemon in human form you can’t convince me otherwise lmao

Originally posted on RBKTR Translations.

Author: The One Who Tells Stories Under the Bridge (天桥底下说书的).

Translated by: Yujuan

Every advantage had its disadvantages, and while keeping an ambiguous relationship with Ye Mingjun was currently the safest option, feelings had always been something unpredictable. It was naturally safer not to put his heart into it, but if the heart could be controlled by the mind, there wouldn’t be so many tragedies in the history written by humans.

When Ji Mo woke up with a start from his dream of an endless moonlight, he subconsciously pressed a hand to his chest. While his heart was beating at a normal rate, that occasional skip in frequency reminded of the fact that this troublesome organ was attempting to flee the brain’s control, tempted by a night luminous pearl.

Worthless thing, all I did was watch the moonlight with Ye Mingjun, didn’t I see it all the time during my self-study sessions? Why are you skipping? It’s fine if you just skipped, you even dare to dream, you fearless bastard!

Indignantly splashing water onto his face, the lingering warmth left behind by Ye Mingjun finally faded away. Yet, when Ji Mo opened his closet, the sight of the priest robe with one of its sleeves ripped off caused his eyelids to jump like a tragic omen.

Never mind, he’d get Su Ge to give him a mission today. Nowadays, it was safer to do one’s proper business.

Sadly realizing that he, who liked to slack off, was actually taking the initiative to do his work, Ji Mo sighed in resignation. Looks like cutting your sleeves could really turn you into a workaholic.

A pity that sometimes coincidences would interrupt one’s plans to work – for instance a cat laying over your keyboard in winter, a dog with a wagging his tail in wait for you to take him out on a walk, or a Ye Mingjun who will always pop out at an unexpected time and an unexpected place.

“Good morning!”

When he opened the door to be met by the immortal’s brilliant smile, Ji Mo’s first instinct was to slam the door shut and lock it. Fortunately, his senses halted this movement in time, and he asked apathetically, “Xianjun, please give me a reason why you are here before the sun is even up.”

Ye Mingjun was unsurprised by his reaction, since it would be a problem if Ji Mo enthusiastically invited him into his room. He raised the washboard in his hands and explained, “Last night, I returned to my room and thought, in order to fulfill your wish more efficiently, I should quickly undo the seal. So I’ve decided to complete the System’s punishment at the earliest opportunity.”

Oh, then you’re really early, you came before the rooster even crowed.

Glancing out at the skies that had yet to brighten, Ji Mo knew that his plans to find work before Ye Mingjun got up from bed had been foiled. After weighing the importance of breaking the seal, he ultimately let the immortal into his room.

Ye Mingjun naturally hadn’t brought the washboard to kneel before it[1], this was all due to his previous punishment for hugging Ji Mo on his own initiative— help your capture target wash his clothes.

Who knew what kind of life the person who had created the System led, did he spend his days in housekeeping hell getting punished by his wife to wash the dishes and sweep the floors?

Thinking of that hair-combing punishment that would be inflicted on him for half a month, Ji Mo instantly gained a headache. Handing Ye Mingjun the priest robes which already had one sleeve torn off, he couldn’t help but ask, “I understand the justifications behind it, but why are the punishments given by the System so odd?”

The System that was tailor-made for Ye Mingjun had the best customer service in the world, and this time was no exception, immediately spouting an answer, “The System’s punishments are enacted according to the capture target’s resistance levels.”

Only this level of resistance after being harassed by a man, looks like this heart was already crippled. He needed an immediate heart transplant.

A program couldn’t lie, and hearing these words, Ji Mo finally realized the severity of this matter. He was really too defenseless against Ye Mingjun, if this went on, something would happen, and it would be something huge!

The seemingly harmless Ye Mingjun had already lured him onto the edge of cutsleevery, he absolutely couldn’t continue following his cadence. He had to keep his distance, hold on to this indifferent attitude, and treat him like a piece of antique.

A sequence of schemes flashing across his mind, Ji Mo decisively started to put it into practice, indifferently taking a seat before the table to pour himself a cup of tea. As expected, he wouldn’t be affected as long as he ignored the immortal, and thought firmly while gripping his cup,

That’s right, he had to constantly and lucidly be conscious of the fact that they were not of the same race. As long as he remembered that Ye Mingjun would not have a serious relationship with a human, he would give up on the idea at the earliest moment.

What was the little guy currently thinking of? Never mind, he should complete this punishment first, that way he’d feel happy for breaking the seal.

Ye Mingjun was unable to overlook the aura of refusal emanating from Ji Mo’s entire body, but while he couldn’t understand why he had changed after a night’s sleep, he still took out a jade basin and summoned some rain to wash the clothing.

This person seemed as cold as marble on the outside, but he was always afraid of being deceived by others. Even if he was covered from head to toe in thorns, they would soften immediately if you took the initiative to touch them. He had been observing him for so long, did he still not know Ji Mo?

As expected, Ji Mo, who had initially resolved to ignore him, subconsciously turned his head the moment he heard the pattering sound of rain. Black lines fell down his face when he realized the immortal had used some sort of technique to summon a rain cloud, using a jade basin the size of a washbowl to receive the water. The rain water had drenched him along with the basin, but he seemed completely unaware of this, enthusiastically shoving the clothes into the basin.

Ye Mingjun really did not follow a normal route, never in his life had he seen such a fantastical way of washing clothes!

Looking on as rain water trickled down the immortal’s jade-like face, Ji Mo was ultimately unable to keep his silence, saying with a sigh, “Xianjun, are you really alright?”

Eh? He softened up so quickly today? Did waking up too early cause the thorns to go back into hibernation?

Realizing that a situation he couldn’t observe had occurred, Ye Mingjun tilted his head in confusion, but he still replied with a smile, “The Cleansing Jade Altar can cleanse even a hundred-year vengeful ghost, it can definitely be used to treat the stains on clothing.”

As he said that, Ji Mo’s headache worsened. With a glance at that jade basin, it was really shining with a faint lustre, indicating that it was not an ordinary object. He could only silently facepalm at the immortal’s whimsical thinking.

No, that’s just a piece of clothing, you’re using a magic treasure to cleanse something that can be solved by soap bean? Just how many pro moves are you going to dish out for something as simple as washing clothes?

“I’ve seen the mortals washing their clothes before, next would be to place it on the surface and knead it with your strength—”

Ye Mingjun naturally wouldn’t stop if Ji Mo didn’t voice out his thoughts— an ancient artifact would never be stained by filth of the mundane world, and as this was his first time trying to rinse an article, imitating the mortals was quite fun. Just as he was feeling proud of himself, a push of his hand caused a ripping sound to be heard. When he lifted the clothing in his hands, it was already in pieces.

“Hm?”

Shaking the remains of the clothing in puzzlement, the immortal turned to look at Ji Mo, his eyes filled with confusion.

There was clearly an array inscribed into the clothing, why was it still unable to bear his force even after being sealed off? He’d asked Su Ge, who told him that he had to use some force to wash clothes, or the dirt wouldn’t come off… Should he lessen his strength a little?

Hehe, he just knew that Ye Mingjun wouldn’t finish washing his clothes in silence, just look, his priest robes with the torn sleeve had been turned into rags barely three minutes in!

Looking on as this tragedy took place, Ji Mo thanked his lucky stars for having the foresight to give him his unwanted clothes. As for the sidelong glances Ye Mingjun was casting at the priest robes he was currently wearing, he chose to ignore it with indifference.

What’s with that innocent look, you did it on purpose, didn’t you?! You won’t even let go of the clothes on my body?

Reading the outright refusal from Ji Mo’s body language, Ye Mingjun, who had never been a quitter, chose to find another way, rummaging through the treasures he could presently use, “I recall somebody presenting me with a magic tool that could turn back time…”

This was, probably, a gaming whale. Can’t relate, can’t relate.

Wordlessly looking at the pile of treasures the immortal had dug up to wash a piece of clothing, Ji Mo helplessly drew out his handkerchief, not wanting to be stimulated any further. He interrupted the immortal’s totally heartless actions, “It’s alright, the punishment never specified how well you should wash the clothes, come here and dry yourself off.”

The moment he spoke those words, Ye Mingjun, who never knew when to give up, concluded that the idea of getting dried off by Ji Mo was clearly more captivating than washing clothes. And so he decisively dispersed the rain clouds and sat before Ji Mo, raising his head to say firmly to him, “I’ll help you wash your clothes once I devise an automatically cleansing magic tool.”

Your problem will be solved by going to the shopping mall and buying a washing machine, thanks.

He expressionlessly rubbed the immortal’s pale yet extremely soft hair. While it was beyond his comprehension, Ji Mo felt a little envious of his constantly joyful expression, and blurted out, “How are you still able to find enjoyment in something such as washing clothes?”

Ever since they had met, the Ye Mingjun in his eyes was always smiling. The immortal could find pleasure in any sort of minor thing, and his expression would always be as bright as the sun even if they were just hanging out or chatting. This caused Ji Mo to sometimes forget the harshness of reality, making his mood loosen subconsciously. Perhaps this was the reason why he was unable to refuse Ye Mingjun, because such optimism was an innate skill he’d never be able to possess.

This chapter is scrapped from readlightnovel.org

Ji Mo’s actions were very gentle, but this was something he had yet to realize. He had never spoken too harshly to Ye Mingjun in the past, and even if he encountered something he was reluctant to take part in, he never pushed him away with much force. Although the ancient artifact was as clueless as a child, Ye Mingjun knew how to distinguish the way humans cherished him, so he was willing to be used by this person in return.

Secretly exhaling an immortal’s breath to blow off the moisture on his clothes so they wouldn’t wet the person beside him, and after making sure Ji Mo hadn’t realized his little trick, Ye Mingjun replied with a soft laugh, “This is something the humans do on a daily basis, so I wanted to try it out for once. This way, I might be able to understand the way you humans think.”

Not expecting such an answer, Ji Mo halted his movements. Looking at the immortal’s serious gaze, he suddenly asked a question that had been suppressed in his heart for a very long time, “Xianjun, you say you like humans, but you don’t seem to be affected by the sight of mortals dying?”

Not just the matter of life and death, Ye Mingjun had not reacted much to the world before him regardless of the Godly or Demonic Continents, as if all things of the mortal world had nothing to do with him. The present Ye Mingjun truly resembled an unattainable immortal high above the clouds.

Facing this question, Ye Mingjun drooped his eyelids, and asked, “Don’t the humans also choose to observe from the sidelines as a lion hunts down other animals?”

As he thought about it, that did seem to be the case, and Ji Mo nodded, “Because preying on other animals is the habitual nature of a lion.”

“So, to me, war and bloodshed between the same kind is a habitual nature of humans. Your ancestors overcame all life on land to reign supreme over the secular world, so I do not think it’s a good thing to make unauthorized changes to your rules of survival which took shape after thousands of years of exploration.”

Softly telling him what he had perceived in his thousand-year observation of humans, Ye Mingjun’s look finally seemed serious for once, using his bright eyes to gaze fixedly at the person next to him,

“Of course, if you firmly believe that you are able to formulate new rules that can supersede the current set of rules, you may make a wish to me, and it’ll be fulfilled as long as you have the sufficient emotion and conviction. After all, that is the reason why Emperor Xi’s Venus Pearl exists in this world.”

He was an omnipotent wishing pearl – he was able to fulfill one’s wishes as long as they had an unequivocal belief, regardless of good or evil. This was why the immortals constantly worried about him being used by someone with wicked intentions, and why Emperor Xi’s Venus Pearl had not shone its own brilliance in ages.

Then, what would the person before him use him for? Did he wish for a body of immortality like the monarchs of old? Or, was he like the beautiful lady who had picked him up from the ground, yearning for the emperor she was about to marry to only love herself and not marry another? Or, would he be like that widowed woman, who wished for the collapse of the Great Wall that had stolen her beloved’s life away from her?

Ye Mingjun had circled around the world for thousands of years. He had met many people, granted plenty of wishes, and perhaps the various emotions used to evoke the wishes were different, but at least they had been able to pinpoint what they wanted. Over the years, the only one whose true desire he was unable to guess was Ji Mo.

Was it because he had taken form as a human this time around? It was just a different form, why was there such a big discrepancy?

His body leaned slightly backwards, falling right into Ji Mo’s chest. The immortal smiled a little mischievously, contentedly sensing the instant stiffening and exasperation oozing out of other’s body. However, his heart was still filled with puzzlement.

Not asking for me you heal you, nor for me to give you the power to seek hegemony, even my temporary protection has to be given by transaction. The one I chose, what do you truly desire, that not even you are able to ascertain?

Ye Mingjun had always been someone who expressed his curiosity for just about everything, and Ji Mo was unable to make out what he was thinking at the moment. He only thought of it as the immortal starting to do something vexing again, so he urged indifferently, “Then I hope that Xianjun bears in mind that humans are a cruel and antagonistic species.”

He was supposed to be the one being protected, but kept on worrying about him, this was also a part of this little guy’s adorableness.

Laughing softly, Ye Mingjun nuzzled his head against his chest, replying lightly, “I know. Seemingly weak, yet having a tenacious vital force to survive various predicaments, this is the reason why I like humans the most among all living creatures in the world.”

You’re not a cat, what are you nuzzling for! Even if I’m a man, this is a very critical position!

The sensation of the immortal’s slightly damp hair against his chest caused Ji Mo’s breath to stutter slightly, and he hurriedly backed a step away, frowning, “Xianjun, that’s because you’re not the one being hurt by humans.”

“I don’t know about the others, but you won’t hurt me.”

Such words filled with conviction caused Ji Mo to pause, and he asked, “Give me a reason for why you’re so certain of that.”

“Because you like sparkly and dazzling things.”

Thinking of the things that Ji Mo had expressed his fondness for, the moonlight and the perfume sachet, Ye Mingjun was filled with self-confidence. After all, in terms of sparkling and dazzling, he absolutely wouldn’t lose to any other magic treasures.

Ah? Are you sure you’re talking about humans and not a dragon?

He was still unable to understand Ye Mingjun’s mindset. At last, Ji Mo could only depend on his perusal to interpret it as the fondness humans had for valuables, and so he warned seriously, “It’s true that humans can’t resist the temptation of valuable treasures, but once they have gotten their hands on it, they would rather take it to their graves than give it to someone else.”

He was very sure of this point, since burial grounds were proof of that. Humans really could do that sort of thing.

Yet, it turned out that he had still underestimated Ye Mingjun, because his first reaction upon hearing that was, “Which means you want to be buried with me even after you die?”

I want to sell you on Taobao for 250 bucks with free shipping.

Expressionlessly chucking his handkerchief at this person’s face, Ji Mo finally became aware that his plan to distance himself had once again suffered a brutal defeat at the hands of one of the immortal’s gags,

So, why did humans like repeating the same mistakes? What gave him the courage to discuss life lessons with Ye Mingjun?

TL Notes

[1]

‘Kneeling at the washboard’ – kneeling down at the washboard is a common punishment by Chinese women for their husbands.