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Chapter 41
I arrived home only after the sun had set. When I pressed the password and opened the front door, the guys who were still drinking came running towards me like a swarm of zombies. Some people ask about Seo-yu hyung, some say it wasn’t fun without me, and some people want to go out and play.
I was not in the mood to make a lot of noise, so I kicked them all out. Of course, I cleaned up everything.
I should call the Vice President’s psychotic son, who did not say cute to Jae-hoon, separately and tell him not to approach me any longer. The managing director’s son was… I have to slowly acknowledge him.
My friends would accept him as a friend if I acknowledge him as one, and he will become a full member of our group. It was entirely natural. Because I was a superior person who they could aspire to be like.
After I got out of the shower and turned on the TV, I looked at the time and saw that it was 9 pm. The first thing that came to my mind was Seo-yu hyung. My older brothers were probably having a good time by now.
This was not the time. Let’s just do the assignment.
This would be the final assignment in fourth grade. Because I have to go to the company right immediately next semester to learn how to work, my attendance for this semester was basically over. It was only going to be replaced by assignments, so it was convenient to do it in advance.
I turned on the laptop and went straight to the document file. I thought of my older brothers as I tried to open one after stacking the documents I had given for reference in drafting the thesis.
I wondered if I would ever be able to love like that.
Like my older brothers, as well as my mom and dad.
Shit, I was lonely.
I wondered if my followers were kicked out for nothing.  I rummaged around the Messages app, leaving a message in a number of conversation windows. Calls began to stream in, asking if I was bored or if I wanted to meet. It was a problem because I have so many friends. I’d like to give Seo-yu hyung half of it.
As I scrolled down, the three-person family chat room was also lit. Sung-hoon hyung and Seo-yu hyung don’t have a chat window with me, mom, and dad. I made it last year as a surprise gift for their wedding anniversary, but now we hardly use it.
Dad [Did you get home safely? ㅠ_ㅠ]
For some reason, my dad was crying and asking for attention.
I called right away.
– Yes, Sung-hyun-ah.
“I saw the message just now. Why are you crying?”
– We have caught a cold…
“Oh my, really? I heard that the summer cold is bad. Go to Doctor Chae tomorrow.”
– Come back home often. We catch a cold because you don’t come home very often.
It was driving me crazy. Just how often do you want me to go home.
“All right, don’t say that to Seo-yu hyung anymore. Seo-yu hyung thought I really don’t care about my parents.”
– That’s right. It’s been two weeks since you’ve returned home. Dad will be upset!
That was something I couldn’t think a big man over 190 cm would say. To be honest, if it were the old days, he would be dubbed a grandfather at this age. Oh, I felt nauseous.
“What is mom doing? Pass the phone.”
– She’s taking medicine and sleeping now. Did you take Seo-yu home safely?
“Yeah, I stayed at his house for a drink.”
– Your mother was very worried that Seo-yu cried again. I think it’s because he saw our family picture at home. Even if he pretended not to, he would have thought of his family a lot from the moment he saw the family picture.
“…I’m sure it was.”
Without even realizing it, I just told him that our older brothers might have been jealous of us the younger brothers.
It was really hard to deal with Seo-yu hyung.
Seo-yu hyung was a gentle and easygoing person in general, but sometimes, it was more difficult because he was soft and easygoing.
“Now, he must have forgotten that he cried because Sung-hoon hyung had come home. Tell mom not to worry. Please get well soon.”
– You call your mom tomorrow morning.
“Okay.”
– Don’t forget. It’s sad when your mother gets sick after her 60th birthday, but since the first son doesn’t call, you should call her.
“Yeah, if I talk to Seo-yu hyung, the first son will also call.”
– It’s a secret especially for Seo-yu… We’ll be even more regretful if we cause him too much worry.
I guess you weren’t sorry for causing me to be worried.
My dad hung up the phone only after I had promised that I would call in the morning.
My mum was not in the best of health. Her grasp and strength were great, but her basic physical strength was weak. It was said that it happened after going through two miscarriages.
Dad and Mom were both in their sixties.
60 years old was still considered middle-aged nowadays. They weren’t that old, but why were they acting so… I never thought they were getting old.
* * *
Assignments… A daunting Assignments… Fucking business administration…
“Ugh, the assignment is really hard. I won’t be able to graduate.”
A friend of mine next to me fell over, saying exactly what I was thinking.
“Me too, what the heck.  I can’t do this anymore. Let’s take a break.”
“Hey, can we have a drink or something? It might go well with a drink.”
“Stop saying nonsense, you crazy bastard.”
We came together today to do the assignment, and when one of them started swearing, the guys who were focused on their studies collapsed like dominoes.
It was difficult for a perfect student like me who could study well, but how hard must it be for guys with ordinary brains. I felt pity for them.
“Ah, Choi Sung-hyun, it was just like you said. That bastard is not good enough to hang out with us.”
“That bastard?”
“Your company’s vice president’s son. He was a bully in middle school, and they said he beat up on the students on daily. If they had brought that up in our meeting, I would have felt ashamed.”
“Oh, that’s right. I told you he’s brutal.”
I invited the sons of the vice president and the managing director to our meeting. And the vice president’s son was a real jerk who talked behind my back in numerous meetings, but I could hear everything. I was thinking of mentioning that at some point. No one will accept him somewhere else because he’d changed so drastically in just one day.
“You have an unexpectedly keen eye for people.”
“It’s not unexpected. My perspective is always right.”
“I can’t deny it.”
My friends giggled and laughed. Actually, it was not my perspective, it was Jae-hoon’s. I was less worried because it seems certain that Jae-hoon would be careful in making friends because he’s different from his father.
“You guys saw my nephew, right? How was it?”
“How was it? He is really cute though. I felt like he grew up only receiving love.”
After all, they were the ones that passed my test because they say Jae-hoon was cute.
“He looked just like his dad. Not your older brother, but the Omega.”
“He’s completely similar to Seo-yu hyung. …Do you recall seeing Seo-yu hyung for the first time on the wedding day?”
“He had just been at our university for a little while before. I remember him because he smiles like a prince every time I see him.”
“What kind of smile is a prince’s smile?”
When I asked if it was possible that he looked as noble as a royal family, the friend answered without delay.
“A smile that makes you look happy as if you have lived without any worries.”
I was speechless for a moment and blinked.
“…Does Seo-yu hyung look like that?”
“Yeah, I know his parents had passed away. I saw only one grandfather sitting at the wedding that day. Still, he was smiling very happily, so it didn’t seem like he was living a lonely life.”
“That’s right. He looked so happy that it seemed he couldn’t wait to get married. It doesn’t seem like there’s even a speck of worry.”
“Does he like that in real life? I think he is very positive and bright.”
“…”
My friends looked at me with pure curiosity, but I couldn’t say yes or no.
If you think about it, that’s right. Seo-yu hyung would have been happy that day. Of course. He must have been smiling like the happiest person in the world. My dad and I were the only ones in the audience who cried so much during the ceremony that day.
But I wondered why I just realized that now.
‘He was smiling very happily, so it didn’t look like he was living a lonely life.’
‘Do you feel sorry for Seo-yu?’
Following my friend’s statements, I was reminded of a question my mother had given to me.
My friends called my name and shook my body, then asked why I suddenly lost my mind, but I was spaced out for a while like a person who was beaten by a giant bell.
* * *
In the afternoon, my friends all went home, and I woke up staring blankly at the laptop screen. I couldn’t decide between the side dishes I packed from home and the delivery pig’s feet. In the end, I decided to have pig’s feet.
Something touched my wallet as I was taking it from the pocket of my hanger-hung trousers.
Whistle.
My mind became dizzy again the moment I saw it.
After thinking about it, I decided to eat the pig’s feet later and eat the side dishes my mom and dad had prepared for me first. Maybe the aunt made it to my liking because it was even better than I expected, so I ate two bowls.
I sat back down in front of the laptop after putting the empty plate in the dishwasher. I took out my phone after typing down a couple of lines for the assignments.
Seo-yu hyung’s name was displayed on the screen, but I didn’t touch the contact.
I sent a message instead of calling.
[Wake up? Hahaha]
Yuyuyu [Of course, I am.]
I got a reply right away. When I first messaged Hyung, I thought I was chatting with my dad. It was because Seo-yu hyung only talked to the old men before and got influenced, but that was not the case anymore.
Yuyuyu [Did you get home safely?]
[Yeah]
[Jae-hoon must have cried looking for me]
Yuyuyu [He didn’t cry. He’s all grown up~~~]
[Did you and Sung-hoon hyung have fun last night? Ha ha ha]
“… ”
He read it but received no response. My face flushed, and I felt embarrassed. I waited for a while, but when I didn’t hear anything, I assumed I was going to get chewed, so I turned off the screen. The smiling face reflected on the black screen of the cell phone looked like something out of a cartoon.
I couldn’t come up with anything to say.
Hey. Mom said she had a cold. I think it would be better not to tell hyung because you worried a lot. I got drunk and turned into a dried pollack. What was with the whistle, it was not even a chicken or a game console?
My friends…
They said you looked happy.
You don’t seem to have lived a lonely life.
I wondered if Seo-yu hyung will like it if I said this. I didn’t know.
Having someone in my life who has lost his family has caused me to reflect on myself. I didn’t want to think about Seo-yu hyung’s misfortune.
A person who survived at the expense of his beloved family. A pitiful person who had no choice but to survive that way.
I didn’t want to think of Seo-yu hyung that way…
Seo-yu hyung, who has a happy smile that doesn’t seem like he has lived a lonely life, doesn’t exist within me. No matter how happy Seo-yu hyung was now, he has already become that kind of person to me.
I would never understand the feelings of a person standing on the Mapo Bridge in the early morning on a rainy day. I could know when my parents die in a few decades, but it didn’t feel the same as dying all at once in an accident and passing away comfortably when they were elderly.
Therefore… I felt sorry for Seo-yu hyung. That was unavoidable. I didn’t know why I shouldn’t be sorry.
I was glad I passed there at that time that day. I was really glad that Seo-yu hyung met me.
I wasn’t in the mood to do any assignment. I closed my laptop and lay down on the sofa. I was convinced that I would have a nightmare if I fell asleep like this, but I did not want to go to bed because I was just tired. I closed my eyes.
In conclusion, my dream was not a nightmare.
The scene unfolding before my eyes was not a black sea with waves crashing.
Under the clear sky, I was passing through an ordinary alleyway, which I would have never entered before.
A friendly looking family walked towards me from the opposite side. It looked very similar to the family photo I saw at Seo-yu hyung’s house. As I passed the cute and young boy whose baby fat hadn’t yet gone, I unknowingly called him ‘Seo-yu-hyung’.
‘…?’
The pretty boy glanced at me indifferently. This was a dream. While he hesitated because he didn’t sure how to respond, a young adult yelled out to the boy, saying, “Hurry up.” The pretty boy ran to his mother who was on the phone with his father holding a shopping basket and his older brother waiting for him.
I glanced at the little boy running away with a wide smile.
And I didn’t do anything but close my eyes.
To ensure that the back view of the young middle school student running to his home was never forgotten.
My nightmare would come to an end one day.
There would come a time when looking out at the water would no longer be a nightmare, but a miracle.
Because I know. What happened that day was a gift given to me by someone who had survived in the same way.
So, I hope that such a day would come to Seo-yu hyung as well. A day when a nightmare turns into a miracle by accumulating happiness one by one.
I need to work harder by his side. So that Seo-yu hyung could be happier. It would take some time, but that was fine. Because we have a lot of time given to us. And I was the type of guy who could do anything properly no matter how difficult it was, and I would try, so it was not a problem.
It was like a miracle that Seo-yu hyung met me on the Mapo bridge over the Han River on a rainy morning that day. No matter how much I thought about it… As expected… My existence was perfect!
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