CH 89

“I’m pregnant.”

I uttered as I gazed straight at him, clenching my fists. I thought about it all the way here. Was it right to take Cassius out like this, or was I only going to get ridiculed for abandoning my honor, or was Hermia trying to trick me…?

In fact, until Cassius opened the door and came in, I had yet to make up my mind properly.

However…

The lofty predator I once saw in Cassius Brudenell had disappeared entirely. It wasn’t to this extent when he became a scoundrel and confined himself inside the Duke’s mansion. It seemed that the space of the dungeon and the lack of freedom had completely twisted the man named Cassius…

‘…I’ve got to figure something out.’

If it weren’t for him, the person who would have been in prison would be me. It would have been me who was going to suffer like that. So, it was only natural that he wanted to save Cassius Brudenell.

By any means.

“…You’re talking nonsense.”

A confused expression appeared on Cassius’ face for a moment, but that was all. He immediately responded in a calm voice.

“Who do you think believes that? Everyone knows we didn’t get along.”

“I’m not so sure?”

I leaned over towards him.

“The Lord pampered me and gave me all kinds of luxuries. Not only that, but a luxurious engagement ceremony was also held, and you even imprisoned me on an island… Do people really think that nothing happened?”

“….!”

It seemed that my words struck a chord, seeing his expression. I slowly opened my mouth to him again.

“For now… don’t reject it. I’ll try to do something.”

“Ha, haha. Hahaha…”

Cassius let out a small laugh. It was a laugh that even showed a hint of madness.

“Are you willing to sacrifice your honor to extend my life by just a few months? Evelyn, I didn’t know you were that foolish.”

“Wouldn’t there be more hope than being executed two months later?”

“This is better than that.”

A ghastly glare flashed in his eyes as he went on.

“Rather than prolonging a hopeless life.”

“….”

I pursed my lips.

Yes, from his point of view, it was reasonable to think so. After all, it wasn’t that innocence was guaranteed, it was just that the sentence was delayed. I would have rejected this even if I were him. Still…

“In the meantime, I’ll investigate the truth and clear your name. So, just stay alive.”

“A false charge…”

As Cassius’ words slowly stretched out, I caught my breath. A moment ago, the beast that had once been part of Karthus Brudenell seemed dead. However, now that I saw him like this, it seemed that he was simply in a deep sleep.

“Does the Young Lady know what it means to clear my name?”

He growled in a low voice.

“I know.”

I answered calmly.

Cassius really would be an idiot if he thought I still didn’t know. For now, there was only one way to clear his name.

…To confess that I was the murderer of Duke Brudenell.

“I know that, Cassius.”

“……!”

His eyes widened. He seemed more surprised at the fact that I called him by his first name than when I said I knew the truth. Nonetheless, that was for a while.

Cassius’ gaze fell gently on me.

“It all happened as I confessed, Evelyn. If you think of me in the slightest, don’t try to change what has already been decided.”

“….”

I bit my lip.

It seemed that I bit it so hard that I could taste the fishy taste of blood as if I had a wound.

“…I didn’t know you were such an idiot.”

“Evelyn.”

Putting my hands on the desk, I leaned over towards him. As strands of my hair fell down, they left a dim space between Cassius. It was the darkness that clearly showed the relationship between us.

Using the darkness as a shield, I quietly whispered.

“You know, even if the Lord died like this and I became the Duke of Brudenell, I wouldn’t thank you at all. I won’t even shed a tear thinking about the sutra. In a few years, I’ll forget the people I hated, like you.”

Tears fell drop by drop into the darkness.

“But, why do you go so far for me… Do you have to do this much?”

Cassius’ answer came back without the slightest hesitation.

“Isn’t that what love is, originally?”

“No.”

I gritted my teeth and replied.

“This can’t be called love, Lord Cassius. It’s just self-gratification.”

“…Then, let me ask you one thing.”

As he said that, his golden eyes flashed with a strange light in the darkness.

“Evelyn, when you talk about love… what do you think it is?”

“Huh…”

I was momentarily speechless.

“That, at least, love… It’s done through mutual consultation…”

“The word people call love…”

A faint smile appeared on Cassius’ pale face.

“You’re the one who doesn’t know what love is, right?”

“….”

I swallowed dry saliva.

It was because I couldn’t refute his words at all. Yes, there isn’t only love in the world that goes both ways. It was also true that Cassius Brudenell loved me in his own bizarre way.

But…

‘I have to save him first.’

I had no choice but to deny his love for now. In the first place, his love was a love in which he gave me everything he had, even at the cost of his own life.

‘Who wants something like that…?!’

I looked up. Even though my eyes were blinded by the pouring light, I still gazed straight at Cassius.

“Then, what is the Lord’s love?”

“My love…”

He spoke slowly.

“You already know, don’t you?”

“…Still, tell me.”

Silence passed.

It wasn’t a refusal to answer, it was silence as if thinking about the right answer. Cassius finally opened his mouth.

“I want to be someone you will never forget.”

“Lord, as I said before, I—”

“Even if I die, how many years would you forget me? Ha, Evelyn. You’ll never forget me.”

Now he was openly sneering.

“Do you know why?”

“…Tell me.”

“I died in your place… Can you really forget me?”

The most terrifying thing was that everything he said was right. Yes, I would never forget a man named Cassius Brudenell. As he prophesied, I would live with guilt for the rest of my life.

“…Are you really going to die just for that?”

I spoke in a trembling voice.

“It really is nothing.”

“Why is it nothing.”

He uttered back in a low voice.

“I’m the kind of person who can only leave a presence to you in that way.”

After he said that, Cassius raised his handcuffed hands. I instinctively stiffened, but all he did was run his thumb through my hair softly.

“You still don’t know? A world without you, a life without you… It means nothing to me.”

“Lord…”

“Please call me by my name like before. That’s all I want.”

I closed my eyes tightly before opening them again. It seemed that being with a crazy person made me crazy, too, seeing that his words slowly began to make sense to me. I also thought there was no reason to survive at the cost of Cassius’ death.

The same was true for him.

There was no reason for him to live with my death…

Because of that, he dared to move his body and bought my resentment by killing Kitty, and confessed that he had voluntarily killed his father for me, who was still resentful of him.

“Cassius.”

I called him slowly.

At that moment, a kind smile appeared on his face that I had never seen before. Even though it couldn’t be said to be bright, it was warm. And while it didn’t have a seductive charm, it was indeed a beautiful smile.

“…In the future, I’ll call you again and again. Whenever you want, anytime… So don’t die, okay?”

Surprisingly, Cassius slowly nodded his head.

“All right.”

‘It’s working…!’

I got up from my seat in a hurry.

“Then, I’ll inform Her Highness right now. She might be able to find a better accommodation for the Lord in the time being.”

“…Evelyn.”

“Yes?”

“Can I ask you one thing?”

I nodded at his question. He now promised not to die. So that was about the extent of the promise, I could do as much as I wanted.

“Let’s assume I survive…”

I tried to answer that he would unconditionally survive, but Cassius was a bit faster.

“If that happens, then… may I dare to wish for a life where you’re in it?”