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At the Border of an Adult (4)
Translated by Wook
Edited by Wook
Helena Peresca’s eighteenth birthday.
“Congratulations, Princess!”
People gathered in the hall shouted together and applauded and cheered.
I, who was standing at the head of the table, receiving everyone’s attention, grabbed the hem of my skirt and bent my knees slightly.
“Thank you very much to everyone who made the event shine. May all families who have come to this place be filled with blessings and peace.”
A thunderous applause erupted at my greeting. There is no sound as good to hear as the saying that everything goes well for one’s family.
After the congratulatory speech and greetings from Father, the head of the family, the party began in earnest.
I had to sit at a separate upper seat and greet each and every one of those who approached me.
“Do you remember me, Princess? You are already an adult, time goes by so quickly.”
“I heard you’re going to the capital soon. Let’s see each other often.”
“You are more dazzling and beautiful than anyone else gathered today.”
The greetings were so varied that it was difficult to memorize them. I greeted them with a smile, reflecting on the faces and families of those who came.
‘Count Bournay, who was weighing between Valer and Peresca, finally came this way.’
‘Elder Ben? What’s the purpose of the attendance of this old nobleman who already left politics? A quiet big man like that, without a more careful approach
’
On my face, I had the expression of ‘I am just a happy 18-year-old young lady on my birthday’, but my head was busy as if on fire.
I may curse this attitude as pretentious.
But how many of those in attendance have come purely to congratulate me on my birthday?
First of all, I have no friends.
“Today, the Princess looks like a swan.”
Oh, not really.
I do have one of my oldest friends.
I looked up at the approaching Caesar, who was smiling brightly in front of me. Regardless of the gaze around him, he was looking at me with a completely disarmed smile.
“A swan? Do you mean I’m elegant?”
I asked in a whisper that no one could hear while maintaining a graceful smile.
Caesar also brazenly shrugged his shoulders and whispered to me.
“It means you are busy swimming under the water.”
This guy. Who is this all because of?
Whoa, let’s calm down. I must not distort my expression. Everyone is paying attention to this place.
“The Princess’ birthday is a very happy and enjoyable day for me as well.”
“How come?”
“I can only see the Princess’s bright smile today.”
It means, “No matter how much I tease you, you won’t get angry as usual.” Seriously, this guy

“It must be a disappointment to you that birthdays only come once a year.”
I said with a smile. Caesar, who understood exactly what I meant, laughed softly.
“That’s good enough.. Because I like all the expressions of Princess.”
You sly fellow.
“Congratulations on becoming an adult once again, Princess.”
After kissing my fingertips politely, Caesar stepped down.
I followed his back with my eyes. He and Leonard, who was standing nearby, began to unwind, and soon became invisible, surrounded by several nobles who had gathered around him.
‘The meeting is really short. Well, it can’t be helped.’
Is it my illusion that I’m faintly disappointed?
I smiled at the one approaching me again and quickly erased the question.
***
I’m free.
As the party drew to a close, I thought with a slight yawn.
‘The greetings are over, and people’s interest in me has also decreased.’
Now there’s nothing more to do.
It’s boring and I don’t have the motivation to shout something like, “Now, let’s enjoy the rest of the party!”
‘But I can’t just slip away like any other time. This is my birthday after all
’
The main character of the party is tired.
‘What are Caesar and Leonard doing?’
I took a quick look inside the hall.
Leonard was dealing with aristocrats older than him in one seat.
Perhaps it was the nobles who wanted to impress Leonard, who had been given the title of young duke.
‘Hmm, those young girls who are squatting near Leonard are aiming for Leonard.’
I could see a few young girls gathering near Leonard, not daring to intervene, but keeping an eye on when the conversation would end.
It’s a good time, it’s a good time.
I nodded happily, this time looking for Caesar.
No, I was trying to look for him.
I failed because someone called me.
“Princess.”
As I looked around the hall in search of Caesar, I turned my head to the deep voice I heard from the side.
Next to me stood a young man, tall and with thick eyebrows, holding a wine glass in one hand.
Well, this one must be
 the eldest son of Count Luke, Leonard’s classmate, right?
“You look a little tired.”
I’m not tired, I’m bored.
“Thank you for your concern. Are you enjoying the party?”
“Thanks to you. If you don’t mind, will you go out with me and dance to the next song?”
The young man glanced at the center of the hall and smiled.
A waltz started playing a while ago, and young lords and ladies were dancing with shy expressions.
“Actually, I heard a lot about Leonard’s younger sister from himself. I was wondering what kind of person she was, since he only said good things.”
The young man talked with an amiable face.
Well, I can tell without looking. I believe in my brother’s love.
“But seeing you in person today
 my God. There is nothing wrong with what Leonard said.”
“Huhu, you know what to say to make a lady feel good.”
“If you think what I’m saying right now is just a compliment, I think I’m going to be a little sad.”
After saying that, the young man winked one eye at me.
Helena, wake up. You can’t ruin your expression. You have to endure it even if it’s so cheesy.
“Why don’t you give me the honor of being your first dance partner after becoming an adult, Princess?”
That’s pretty aggressive.
Since he was Leonard’s friend, I couldn’t be so cruel. A younger sister like me also thought about my brother’s smooth friendship. How amazing.
“What if I step on the lord’s foot with my clumsy dance?”
“You’re as light as a feather, so I wouldn’t even notice it.”
You see, there is no adult woman as light as a feather in the world, sweetheart.
I tried to put my hand on top of the young man’s extended hand.
But it was Caesar’s hand, not the young man’s, that grabbed my hand. Mm?
I’ve been looking for a long time where and what you’re doing, so where did you suddenly come from?
“Oh, Your Highness.”
The young man turned into surprised rabbit eyes and looked at Caesar. Caesar smiled brightly at the young man. It was truly a cruel smile.
“Excuse me. The Princess’s first dance was promised to me in advance.”
Since when?
“Ah, I didn’t know
 M-my apologies, then I’ll get going.”
The young man was startled and disappeared. What is this? You’re lacking courage! You should have pushed harder, Leonard’s friend!
“I can’t even take my eyes off you for a second, Helena.”
Caesar said to me, looking all the way to the young man, who was running away.
I, too, responded to Caesar’s words while chasing the young man with my eyes.
“Where were you and what were you doing and now you appear and say things like that, Your Highness?”
“This Highness still kept an eye on Helena in the midst of his busy schedule.”
“What a lie.”
“You seriously think that? But I saw Helena looking for me.”
Kugh. What is this? I feel like I’ve got a weak spot.
I frowned at Caesar’s triumphant smile.
“Do you think I’ll lose your first dance to someone else?”
“You are proud of yourself.”
“Without this much ambition, how can I take Helena’s first dance?”
Caesar reached out to me and smiled. His arrogance was so absurd that I laughed without realizing it.
“So, Master. Please dance with me.”
Yeah, I’ll just dance.
Let’s show it to people for sure. What kind of person the Empress, Valer, and Brande will have to deal with in the future.
I rose from my seat, putting my hand over Caesar’s.
“I’m not good at dancing, so what if I step on Your Highness’ feet?”
I tilted my head and smiled provocatively. Caesar wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me to his side, whispering in my ear.
“That would be great. It will be an excuse to keep dancing until Helena is good at dancing.”
At the unexpected answer, I couldn’t hold back the burst of laughter.
***
The good thing about dancing is that the conversation you have with your partner is hard to leak.
Because it is buried in the music and movement, it cannot be heard well by other people, and because the participants are in close contact, it is possible to have a conversation just by whispering.
“Everyone seems to be looking at us, right, Helena?”
As if to make full use of it, Caesar whispered into my ear.
His quiet and gentle voice somehow tickled the back of my neck.
“Isn’t it your specialty to drag me into the middle of a nuisance?”
“It is my blessing that Master follows me even though she knows it’s a nuisance.”
“It is my disciple’s bad habit to use that blessing cleverly.”
“It is the wisdom of life.”
We joked and laughed at the same time.
“By the way, Helena, you dance really well. When did you learn it?”
“Long ago. A long time ago, from a friend.”
“Friend? Who is your friend?”
“There is someone. He looks just like you, but he has a completely different personality.”
I said with a mischievous laugh.
I had no talent for dancing.
It was Erez who persistently taught me. While being stepped on countless times, without making a single complaint.
When everyone was reluctant to dance with me, he was also the one who danced with me regardless of the gaze of those around me.
He was my first dance teacher and partner.
‘Is it because Caesar resembles Erez?’
And now, Erez’s descendant, who looks just like him, is dancing with me on my first dance for the second time in my two lives. Isn’t this a very funny relationship?
I have a deep connection with the Grays in one way or another.
“
Oh!”
Perhaps because I was preoccupied with other thoughts, I sprained my foot.
My body staggered and tilted, and my mind quickly raced. I somehow tried to correct my posture, but this dress was so heavy that it was difficult for me to move.
At that moment, my vision, which had been leaning downward, suddenly rose.
“
?”
Caesar grabbed my waist and hugged me.
Caesar held me in his arms and circled around the middle of the hall and dropped me off again.
There were exclamations from here and there toward us.
Everyone seemed to think that it was a natural movement. In the end, I was the only one who was puzzled.
“Why don’t you step on my foot? It’s safer than falling.”
Caesar pulled me closer, hugged me tightly and smiled.
“
That’s going to be a hell of a rumor.”
In the social world, rumors are deadly to young ladies.
“So, you don’t like it?”
Caesar tilted his head and made eye contact with me.
The red eyes looked so innocent that their intense color was overshadowed. I’m sure I’m the only one who knows this guy’s eyes could look like this.
Haa.
And his cheekiness.
“Tell me what you want to say.”
I shook my head and ran my hair behind my back and laughed. The ornaments adorning my hair clashed against each other and made a rattling sound.
The dance starts now.
***
After the party ended, the bustling hall quickly became silent.
I leaned against the balcony railing of my bedroom, watching Caesar in his carriage leave.
He greeted Leonard, gave him a light hug, and then climbed into the carriage. I couldn’t hear what they were talking about.
Watching the carriage move away, I somehow regretted dancing with him in the hall today, which already felt like a long time ago.
‘It’s empty.’
I let out a shallow sigh as I stared at my empty bed.
The place where he had been sitting last night was no longer even warm.
After a while, Agoth entered my room to prepare the bed.
“My lady, are you very tired today?”
“Yes, very.”
“I brought you an incense burner to help you sleep well.”
After Agoth placed the incense burner on the side table, she began to tap the pillow to lift it up.
After Agoth finished tidying up, I climbed onto the bed and lay down. The scent of flowers from the incense burner placed at the bedside was pleasant.
“I’m an adult from today, but I don’t feel that way.”
“You probably feel like that because you’ve always been so mature, my lady.”
“When I was young, I was just trying to live a little longer, but now I feel like I couldn’t live like that forever.”
“That was a lady-like wish.”
“If I told you that from now on, I will live my own life, how would you feel?”
“I’m always on my lady’s side.”
“Mm, right. You are mine.”
I burst out laughing.
“But now I can’t live like that anymore. There are too many things that may break my heart the moment they break.”
In my previous life, the only thing I wanted to protect was myself.
There was no one to trust, no one to turn to. It was easy to leave and forget.
I had no regrets. There was nothing to regret over.
In the end, perhaps it was because I had nothing left.
“I shouldn’t have shook his hand back then.”
Closing my eyes, I muttered quietly.
Does this regret I feel now mean that he has become my lingering attachment and fear?
‘Well, I don’t know.’
Adult life isn’t always clear.
Ah, I see. I’ve become an adult after all. At that realization, I laughed again.