Chapter 61

Chapter 61: 61

If Llumiel revealed who he was and told the hidden history of the first king of the Kingdom of Palletia, the fathers would all have a difficult look on their face.

My father was so surprised that if he asked me who Llumiel was, he would fall as-is. No, if I try to listen to you, I’m still giving you a peek into your face as an exchanger.

Lord Grants and Mrs. Nerschel are calmly listening to Llumiel.

It was my mother who wasn’t calm. My mother looked at Llumiel with an incredible, said look, and every time I listened to her, she was distorting her face with sadness.

… you’re talking about getting stuck when you think about it. Those who are no longer men will be kings. And at the end of the day, I can be killed inside me. I think that story has overlapped. If I did poorly, it could have come true, I think Al has already gone far.

From the wishes of the people, it was not strange for the First King to follow any differences from his own desires. If you think about it, you will also seek regret for Al-Kun, and your mother and Lyumiel may think of her because she seems to be close.

“This is the hidden truth of history. And that’s one of the reasons I warned you not to cheap on your spiritual covenant.”

“… I would have liked you to have warned me more clearly, but I don’t know what to say.”

Father groans when his temples are reduced so as to reduce the headache. And face up without force, and gaze toward Uffi.

“… you think they can talk like this and say you’re a king or something? Ufilia.”

“Yes. Still, let me state. That’s why I should be king. From the time of Lümiel to the present, this country sanctified the feats of the first kings, whose reality is unclear. It is true that it has led to faith in spirits and magic and has supported the country.”

But take a breath and Uffi continues. I’m not lost in Uffi’s eyes stating my thoughts.

“The luck of faith in magic and the Spirit is growing among the nobles of the Kingdom of Palettia. I find this impending to the point where it could once again recall the tragedy of the First King. Magic becomes the authority of the nobility, and spiritual faith guarantees the authority of the nobility. Once that admiration has passed, it is turning into arrogance, and cracks are beginning to arise between us and a people who have no magical benefit. But without the people, they are not nobles, and without nobility, the people lose their guidance. We have to prevent this fracture at all costs.”

“… um. I can see that. But isn’t it a sign of the retrograde nature of the times that you bear witness to the king with your spiritual covenant?

“Yes. That’s why I end it. The Spirit covenant made me the last king to strike this truth upon my country and imitate old customs.”

Yuffi puts her hands on her chest and looks over at everyone with her spine pinched.

“We are the successors to the greatness of the First King. The philosophy of the first king is for the people, not for the spiritual or magical faith. You rightly inherit the truth once forgotten and reborn your country. We have to get out of this system in order to correctly inherit the philosophy of the First King.”

“… do you deny faith”

“No, I’m not denying all of that. If you deny all of the magic, it will lead you to deny the foundation of the Kingdom of Palettia as well. So we should pray based on the right and true. There is no will in the Spirit, and he says that the Spirit’s guidance is the desire, faith, and faith itself that he asks inside himself. It is only when that prayer is right and when it comes to receiving it that the path of spiritual covenant will be opened. But picking up even the most insistent wishes is personal, and it’s not a political policy.”

Spirit faith may remain apart. But there’s no reason to leave it as a political policy. He said that kings and nobles should only be for the stability of the country. That’s why I just want to change the current system with magic as my authority.

That’s what me and Uffi want. Different means, same place to go.

“If we just get out of the current system, we’ll be able to do it even if Master Anis becomes king. But it is impossible to suppress rebellion with Master Anis. Master Anis has no justification in magic. Making a persuasion doesn’t create the necessary persuasion. If I do, I will only shred my habits by becoming king. Because I deserve it.”

Everyone is silent on Yufi’s powerful proclamation, and each is held back by ideas.

“… may I have a word from you, too?

In the air we all worry about, Lumiel speaks out to draw attention to herself.

Llumiel opens his mouth again after making sure his gaze gathers.

“I think the Palletian kingdom is thriving right now. It’s not that I’m proud of you, but it’s a good match for our time in terms of how happy the people seem. If there is a difference, it is not politics by individuals. Once the first king, my father, carried the wishes of the people alone. At the end of it, the greed of the people drove me crazy.”

Llumiel flaunts his shoulders and tells the facts. Perhaps only pale cares for her grieving mother. Because that gaze was directed at my mother several times.

“This country doesn’t have to save everything by itself anymore. Everyone can think, discuss and hold hands. The time has come. So at least I don’t think I need an old time feat anymore. Sure, I’m glad you said you’d carry on, but I don’t want that to shackle you.”

“… lumi”

“I think it’s good to be saved, even a king…. so I killed your father with this hand. Your father would never have been saved if you kept going like that. So I covered up the truth about the Spirit Contractor. To avoid repeating the same mistakes again.”

Silence comes again when Llumiel finishes his words…. It was my father who broke the silence.

“Why bother at all in the rest of the time…?

“Your Majesty, your mouth is overflowing with boulders.”

“I know. Wow, Grants! If you’ve come this far, I’ll brace your stomach!

Lord Grants embarrasses Father Blur, who was holding his head like a pain. Besides, I take my seat while Father gives it back to me in frustration.

“Now this country needs a new breeze. But it must never be meant to cut off the past from the present. It can also be said about the relationship between the nobles of this country and the nobles and the people.”

“Father…”

“The rest… I could only be a heavy stone for everyone not to dispute. I didn’t have the power to change times. But if I can be patient and praise you for connecting so far, then I want to believe that my governance would have made sense.”

… Wherever you look at it with your chest up, you’re a fine king, Father.

“Anisphere.”

“Yes.”

“And, Uphilia”

“… Yes”

“I want to entrust the future to you. Ask on it…. which one will be king?

I grabbed my fist when I asked.

I came to the point of answering. I close my eyes to the feeling of my stomach shrinking.

“Anis.”

Father calls me. Open your eyes and look at your father.

I had straight eyes. Just staring at me, waiting for words.

I’ve been thinking about it until I got here. What should I do? What do you want to do? Do what’s right all the time.

I’m not sure, I’m not sure. Still, only this answer has to be answered with a strained chest. Exhale. Face back firmly so that your voice doesn’t tremble.

“-… I can’t be king”

… I said.

I said it.

“… but”

The back of my eye is hot. But the words that follow are heavily caught in my throat.

The truth is, there’s something I’ve always wanted to say. Until you get here, just think about it.

I was scared. I’ve been, I’ve been scared…. because if you don’t say it here, you’ll probably lose your chance forever.

“If I could be, I wanted to be.”

“… anise?

“I didn’t want to be king, I wanted to be who I could be. As your daughters, keep your breasts up.”

I have thoughts that Yufi pointed out to me and I realized. I am Anisphere Wynn Palettia. But its contents weren’t intact. I have memories of someone else, and as a person in this country, I am a heretic child with an insane mindset.

I thought it was “fake” deep down. I can’t believe I’m not real. I couldn’t use magic because I was the one. That’s an irresistible fact, and I don’t think that’s why I should have disappeared. It’s not like I don’t like who I am right now.

Still, I wish. If magic could normally be used, I wonder if anyone could live without suffering…. That was really distressing.

“I didn’t want to be king because I didn’t think I could, and I didn’t like it, and that’s fine if Al succeeds. I don’t want Al to have a seat that belongs to me. But if I’m the only one left, I’ve been thinking about it.”

Poirot, and tears fell. I can’t stand it if I want to. I just spin my words with care that I still can’t just let my voice tremble.

If such a delusion had come true. If I could fit everything together. If I wasn’t me. I really think about that possibility.

It was all because I had Yufi to carry me, to make my father and mother suffer, and to take my family away from both Alkun and Lord Grants and Mrs. Nerschel. Such an idea crawls over to my neck.

“You annoyed everyone because of me… me, can I be forgiven…?

If I hadn’t been me, it would have all gone well.

I can’t keep that thought wiped off forever.

“… it’s Anis”

“… Yes”

“I told you before. There were plenty of opportunities if I were to rehabilitate you. I’m the one who took the opportunity. You don’t have to carry it on yourself.”

“It was before that. If I had been born from the beginning as a true princess who could use magic, not me… yes, I would think.”

“But if it weren’t for you, magic would not have been born. And no one may have ever had doubts about spiritual faith. That could have led to the repetitive consequences of the tragedy of the First King. There’s no point in assuming you’re not you.”

I know that too. Now is the only time. I know. I’m still looking for a reason.

“… Dear Anis”

When did you take your seat, instead of earlier, Uffi holds my shoulder.

“It’s okay now.”

“… Ufi”

“What you wanted to be forgiven for was easier.”

… what, in a way that I know better than I do.

But I’m sure you’re not mistaken. I seem to be oblivious to my feelings after all.

If I don’t get Yufi’s help, I’ll miss what I’m really looking for myself.

“If you’re not going to be king, there’s no point in being a princess…. What you were afraid of was that you wouldn’t even be able to stay with your daughter?

My vision blurred at Yufi’s inquiry. Because the amount of tears increased at once.

“No matter how much I thought I was the daughter of His Majesty and the Queen, I thought… the proof seemed few to you. So I doubt it. I try to keep the connection I have now. Because I want to remain my daughter. Different?

… no.

Tears fall. My chest is filled with thoughts. Regret and guilt seem to tear my chest apart every second of every day, and I shudder at Yufi.

“I’m not afraid of not being a parent or a child. You’ve always been afraid to take your daughter from your Majesty and Queen, haven’t you? For who I am. Still, I can’t stop myself. It’s been hard on you.”

“… ooh, ooh…!

I hope you don’t reveal it. But I can’t help but relieve myself of the thought of being worded and shaped. Such a contradiction.

But I still want you to know. I think so. If I’m weak and you don’t understand, if I’m not needed, I won’t ask for it either. Don’t seek, I have been so deluded and mean.

“You don’t have to fake it anymore.”

“… because of me, always annoying, al-kun, suffer…! If I’m stunned, I have to be expected, I can be free… If I don’t, I can’t breathe, but I can’t help but bend myself and wish I hadn’t disappeared like that, it’s hard, it was hard!

I couldn’t have said this without Yufi’s support. This is my weakness. I thought it was something I should never show you.

“My father and mother respected me. I’ve always felt it was for me, even if it was tough on me. All I can do is betray it. It’s always been… bitter and…! You can’t tell me… you can’t tell me…! I can’t even stop being me, but I can’t believe I’m accepting… it’s just my best…!

“… Yes”

“I’m just glad you complimented me. If I were to tell you to be king, I wanted to respond. That’s the only reason why I could be my daughter……!

Magic is my pride. But all I have is magic. That was all I had. If that’s unacceptable…… what’s it worth to me?

No matter how much Father and Mother acknowledge, I would be ineligible as a princess if the state did not. I can’t be the king the country doesn’t want. I can’t be. That’s what I can’t do without killing my heart.

I thought how many times I’d dump this country. I thought if you didn’t need it many times, throw it away. Still, it’s the two of us who are my parents who have been so nice to me.

Far from the shape we wanted, we were family. I wanted to be with my family. With your father, with your mother, with Al. I tore my family apart like that. I can’t fix it completely… it was just painful.

“I don’t want to be king! You don’t want to be! Why would you be king if everyone wouldn’t admit it? But if I tell you to be, I’ll make you admit it, if you are! But it’s not, it’s not! I just wanted you to laugh! I wish everyone would have laughed! I just wanted the magic to make everyone happy! And yet you can’t even use the magic you asked for, and even if you find a replacement, it’s derogatory! Then tell me what to do! What was I supposed to do!?”

… I spit it all out. What was accumulating in my heart. That was painful, but it got lighter. I’m sorry, it’s unusual. This is how I really feel.

You could have been king if you were to be recognized. Because I can’t admit it, I didn’t want to be king until I pushed those unacknowledged people away. Because that’s not my ideal.

Such a child’s eclampsia. It’s not good for me to say it. Still, this is what I meant when I couldn’t fake it. I can’t tell you, I’ve been hiding it… it’s my wound.

“You must have been too kind. You’re too kind to be nice to yourself.”

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Hold Yuffi tight as he holds my head in. I get caught up in the warmth.

If you don’t have to work hard anymore. If you don’t have to be king…. Is it good to stay like this? If I don’t have to deserve to be king, can I be forgiven for that? If I’m not even allowed to do that, I don’t know where to go.

“… What the hell is a country that has to be king until you make someone like this cry? If you want to, why didn’t you notice that you were crying? If you don’t want to, but you want me to be king, what’s that for? That’s what I think. Sire.”

Unexpectedly grab Yuffi’s arm. I’m not crying because I want you to tell your father that. It’s just that I… wanted a place where I could stay weak.

I can’t hurt anyone, I can’t hurt anyone. I just wanted a place like that. So if there was a small world out there, I would be happy with it…. I was satisfied.

“If we all don’t want kings, we just need them. I’ll take it. If you want me to be the one to lead this country. That’s why I was raised.”

“…………… oh yeah”

I hear your father whining. I’m too scared to see what you look like.

“… I thought you were a laborious daughter, but that was my immorality that wasted my time”

“… no, it’s not. I don’t want you to think that way. Because I still couldn’t change……!

“If it can change, then so be it…. but you couldn’t obey the Spirit. If a country is abused for” just that, “you can’t tell me what it’s for.”

Father groans without power. Then there was the sound of something hitting the desk with momentum.

“… Huh, we should still have reformed it! No matter how much blood you bleed!

It was my mother who beat my desk vigorously. My mother chewed off her lips and was shaking if I raised my face to too much noise. You tapped that fist with the momentum of smashing your desk, with fragments scattered.

“We sent it first! I didn’t think that was a mistake. When the time comes for our governance, and until the time it sprouts, it is right… and that’s why I endured! That’s it! It’s normal for a royal child to carry it…!

“… Mother. But there’s nothing wrong with that…”

“Still you cry!? I wish you would have blamed me for that, that it was my fault you were born without magic! Why, Anisphere…! Algardo too! I still look out and just defend my country… I can’t protect you guys!!”

Tears are transmitted on her mother’s cheek, trembling as she leans down. No, that’s not what I want you to say…!

“Still, that’s why I hate it when your mother says you should have bled! I couldn’t help it, I couldn’t help it…!

“Yeah, I am. As Ennis said, there’s always no choice in the country.”

It was Llumiel who spoke out in a grumpy manner. Soon she stopped by her mother’s side and slapped her mother on the shoulder.

“That’s why I’m telling you to discuss it…. you just need to talk a little bit. If I look at you, I’ll see. What was wrong was that I couldn’t walk away. And it must be a custom from the past not to allow that. It is neither the past nor regret that you should change. It’s a reality, isn’t it?

“… lumi, but”

“But there’s nothing there! You guys are still exchanging words like this, but you can even regret it, but you just cry peach-perchic!?”

Shut off your mother’s words about to say something, catch your eyes and Rhumiel yells.

“Regret as much as you can! Not while I can! If you’re gonna mourn, you can do as much later as you want! Freedom to immerse! You’re also free to move on! But hey!… I’ve never had a good time holding him by myself.”

… My ear hurts.

If you think about Llumiel’s past, it also hurts my chest just to imagine what thoughts are in there.

“… in terms of parenting, we’ve all failed.”

Huh, the pompous and the head of the Sprout Knights muttered. The Knights captain, who has been holding back until now, is scratching his head casually.

“I don’t want to blame the Ministry of Magic, but honestly, don’t want to resent me. It’s true that we were being held by them.”

“Right…. I just thought you should grow up tough to entrust the next era to your child.”

It is Lord Grants who whines to the Knights of Sprout to be in tune. Only Lord Grants is as usual. This situation makes me horrified by the immovable Lord Grants.

“We abandoned our personal desire to stabilize the country. I don’t see that as a mistake……. but it must have been a mistake to impose that on the kids. You had a falling out on us for not being able to identify a change in time. But that’s also another reckless statement to make evil of everything the Magic Ministry does, right? Matthew.”

“… I know, but hey”

“At least it was the Ministry of Magic that made a significant contribution to the unity of will in the country. Therefore, it was difficult to reduce the impact of those seeking to enter the educational setting…”

“As a result, there is no point in causing a crisis in the country…. we should have known that we were self-satisfied and the country was immobile.”

… The Dukes of Magenta always pass by, and I don’t know, the other way around, I’m relieved.

My mother also restored her composure, wiping her tears to correct her residence.

“Still, I hate it now… because it was definitely the Ministry of Magic that drove Anisphere as well as Algard”

“But it’s an adult job to restrain that movement. It must still be our unrighteousness.”

“I know…. Ha, sorry to hear that.”

“If you stand on the battlefield, the crying child or the silent queen, are you the son of man in the political arena?”

“… Matthew, if it’s a fight, I’ll buy it, okay?

“I miss this interaction, too…. At the end of the day, what we didn’t have is words. We’ve spared words to understand each other.”

The head of the Sprout Knights squeaks with a self-inflicted grin. Maybe that’s what I thought of Navre.

Fathers’ times were painful. So we abandoned our own personal desires and just ran for the good of our country. But it didn’t all work out. I’m sure even your fathers are just the result of thinking that the next generation won’t be in trouble.

That didn’t mesh with the times. I really wasted a lot of time having to get my hands on that unmeshing gear to mesh. That’s what you should regret.

“… I think. It’s self-explanatory.”

“Ufi?”

“If we can live by faith alone, do we need others there? Facing oneself is the essence of a spiritual covenant. Do you need to exchange words with others if you only need to keep facing yourself as a virtue and follow the teachings of shapeless idols? I only know when, and I think it was poisoned.”

“… Miss Uphilia, if you say faith is poisoned, then the great man in the Ministry of Magic will turn his face bright red, won’t you?

“If the pills pass, you said poison, right?

Yufi says it all the time. Wow, I’m totally in poison tongue mode……

Lord Grants is turning his gaze to Uffi to see something delightful. Already, this parent and child…!

“… I understand the story very well. Anise has a heavy load. Let’s say, then, that we still proceed with the policy of making Uffi king. Is that good enough for you? It’s Ufilia.”

“Yes, I’m not lost”

Huh! Or when I said it with my shoulder hugged, it was taken in a weird way!? Natural!? On purpose!? Oh, and I’m disappointed, so I can’t get away with it!

“… it’s Anis”

“Ugh! Yes!

“… if you say an apology, you’ll be annoyed. There is no need to prove which is worse than the rubbing difference so far. So you live well. That’s all I hoped for as a parent. That’s all I can do is lie or I can stretch my chest.”

“… Father”

I’m bound to pull my lips into Father’s words and bite them. Otherwise I was going to cry all the time.

“… how much have I seen you cry?”

“Mother…”

“They don’t even count. In the sense that I don’t remember. That’s pathetic…”

“But I have caused you scattered inconvenience. Because I knew, I couldn’t shamelessly imitate crying.”

“Maybe I’ve always wanted that. Make it tough and you turn it up. But you pierced yourself. I just saw the strength, and I misunderstood it was you.”

Mother shakes her head quietly to the left and right…. I don’t want to open my mouth anymore. You’re opening your eyes, because tears are melting and it’s hard.

“Algardo must have had a lot to say to me…”

“… I apologize for being stubborn with all of them”

“It’s okay…. It’s okay, Anis. From now on, let’s start one by one. One more time from here, huh?

My mother’s gentle voice leaks an irrepressible voice from the back of her throat.

I can’t afford to spin words anymore, and I can’t keep my eyes open. I could just keep crying, keeping my body supported by Uffi.