Chapter 3. Engagement to the Happily Ever After (3)
Attempting to contain the shock Charlotte had left behind, I simply nodded.
"Yes, it's fine. Hans may have said I'm alright but I think my appetite is yet to return. So please, follow through with what I said earlier."
"Alright then." Lancelot didn't hide his heavy disappointment. However, he immediately returned to doing as he was ordered. Lancelot prepared the table with a tablecloth and laid out the spoon and fork. The chicken and salad I requested followed not long after.
"Please, enjoy your meal." Treating his voice as my appetiser, I picked up my fork. This was the first time I've supposedly possessed anyone and so it felt unusual in several ways, but Lancelot's presence was incredible enough for me to put it all aside. The figure from a novel who I could never meet in real life was blinking and breathing in front of my very eyes. The figure was even smiling and talking to me. And on top of it all, he was my favourite character of all time.
'I-I can't breathe…' This was the first time I learnt that people could have trouble breathing if they were too happy. If Lancelot knew of this, he would have called Hans over immediately. Being fully aware of that, I pretended nothing was wrong and sucked in a few more gasps of air. The meal was finished with me being in such a mess, I couldn't even remember if I had actually eaten it.
'I'm sure I'll get used to it after a while.' I thought optimistically whilst wiping my mouth with a napkin. Humans were creatures made to adapt to environments. I mean, I was freaking out a short while ago but given Lancelot's lack of confusion, my acting as Charlotte must be believable.
But at the time, I wasn't aware. I was oblivious to the fact that I was living in such a delusion. It took place approximately two months after I began to get used to Lancelot.
• • •
"Hmmmm…" I had been sitting at a desk for an hour and was sighing continuously. One sentence was written out on the parchment laid out in front of me.
Ways to Make Lancelot Happy
. All I had written was that one line, and instead, I resorted to uselessly doodling on the page. Amidst the scribbles, the most eye-catching things were 'Congrats! Seo Urie's 2nd life!', and 'Great joy comes from becoming beautiful and being together with your favourite character!'. There was no way it could possibly be anything other than doodles filled with desires and satisfaction.
"Ah, I need to at least write
something
." Despite my words, my pen didn't budge an inch. And the reason was simple.
"This is too difficult……"
Though it was a truth I was already aware of, my face crumpled the second I heard the words through my own lips. It had been, more or less, three months since I began living as Charlotte. I had spent my days actively observing Lancelot. Mm, let's rephrase that to "looking over". Calling it observing makes it seem misleading anyway. For the time frame I've been watching him, Lancelot would only do things for Charlotte, related to Charlotte and because of Charlotte from dawn till dusk. Though it was great from the perspective of the one being looked after, it seemed a little pitiful for the one doing the looking after. He was so dedicated to serving her whilst concealing his feelings. If someone were to ask me if I could do the same, I would've surrendered in an instant and confidently announced I couldn't.
"Mmm, it'd be nice if Lancelot just confessed or something." I was startled by my own words. And then began to laugh hysterically. Lancelot strictly lived his life for the sake of Charlotte. There would be no way he would do something for himself when he was so strictly respectful of her.
"So in the end, we're back to square one." I sighed once more. So here we were again. For Lancelot to be happy, Charlotte must achieve what she desires. And what she desires is revenge from Duke Vestia and…….
"'Love', I assume." Charlotte, a woman like you. Such a complicated woman like you. Even if she was well aware she couldn't have the two, she didn't know how to let it go. Though her actions seemed foolish, I didn't think it was lamentable. Because I knew very well that as a human, anyone was bound to make a similar sort of decision at some point during their lives.
"Ughhh……" My thoughts were so complicated and I was about to start steaming like a teapot.
"Milady, it's me." The sound of a nimble knock came through the door with Lancelot's voice. They say those who have the guilty conscience are first to unveil their crimes. I hurriedly crumpled up the parchment. If I were to be caught with something like this, things would only get worse. It seemed I was still lacking in immunity against Lancelot.
"Yeah, come in!" I tried to remain as calm as possible. Lancelot, who opened the door and strode in, was shining as brightly as usual. Being blinded once again by his handsome face, I squinted and smiled.
"What brings you here, Lancelot?"
"The thing is…" For some reason, Lancelot's expression darkened. If it were the usual, he would explain normally and return my smile. I calmed my mind which trembled and threatened to wreak havoc, straightened my back and waited for him to open his mouth again. It took a while for him to continue talking. Despite his expression being full of hesitation, he did not stop again.
"Duke Vestia has made his move first." Those heavy words made my face stiffen without even realising. Oh right, Duke Vestia still existed. Perhaps it was because I had forgotten about him for the past few months, the surprise had escalated an extra stage. Lancelot observed the hue of my face before carefully continuing with his report.
"The duke has formed an alliance with Count Gillid and Marquess Martaha. And judging by their movements, it seems the emperor has silently given them permission from behind."
But the information itself wasn't particularly surprising. Their actions were the same as what I had read in
Held A Flower.
If I were to point out something different, it would be that it was a lot later than when it happened in the story. In the original story, this event happened when Charlotte was trying to persuade other nobles to join with her in fighting against Duke Vestia. But I did not do that. My days were already full with trying to adapt to becoming Charlotte and getting used to my shining favourite character. Those who didn't know if this must have been watching me who wasn't doing anything then made their move first.
"I feel we will have to deal with Duke Vestia in the near future." Having finished explaining, Lancelot gazed at me with shimmering, ruby-like eyes. Trapped in his eyes, I couldn't possibly show my disinterest. It seemed as though, through his gentle gaze, he had caught a whim of my gradual panic.
"Are you not surprised?"
"What's there to be surprised about? He's most certainly the sort of person to do that." I spat out my honest opinions. In response, Lancelot's eyes wavered uncontrollably, and he seemed extremely shocked.
"Oh, right!"
Only then did I realise I had replied in such a casual manner. If I were the real Charlotte, I would have spoken with the sad stare of a true protagonist in a tragedy.
'Seo Urie, you idiot!' I lamented my own stupidity. Since Lancelot always kept a very close eye on whatever related to his lady, he would have immediately noticed something odd about my behaviour.
"Milady……" Everything played out the way I expected it. Lancelot seemed to have something he wished to say very much. And I was nervous as hell as to what it could be. In fact, my mind was whirring with all sorts of excuses to handle the situation I had made with such a careless mistake. As every minute and every second seemed to go by slowly, Lancelot finally opened his mouth. And that… was completely off the mark.
"There is no need to overdo yourself in front of me."
"Huh?" My shocked expression was reflected on the tears which now welled in his glistening red eyes. Lancelot immediately dropped his gaze. He hid his fists which were so tightly clenched. If it were Charlotte, she would have brushed past his behaviour without a drop of care. Lancelot began to speak.
"I already know so well that even if you don't put it that way, Duke Vestia holds a very special place in Milady's heart."
"Me?"
"Yes." I blinked absentmindedly at the blunt response which came my way. Exactly what is this boy on about? Does he think I'm insane? To be in love with a man who uses his fiancée like a chess pawn? The fact I had once again forgotten about hit me amidst my internal flapping and screaming.
"Ah." Right. I'm Charlotte right now. The naive female lead who can't let go of her ex-fiancé, despite knowing that he is an enemy to her family. The second my thoughts reached that far, I could read Lancelot's thoughts like an open book. He obviously thought his lady was pretending to have moved on from her screw-up of a fiancé and enemy. And so he hid the fists he clenched in vexation.
'But even so, I don't want to fuel a misunderstanding that I like him, do I?' I mentally gave my stupid brain another smack. Though the original Charlotte may have been like that, so long as I am here, there would be no way Charlotte would ever be like that again. Having now organised my thoughts, I opened my mouth.
"Lancelot, it's a shame but I don't have any feelings whatsoever for Duke Vestia anymore." It was the truth. Charlotte wasted her time having her heart broken by such a bastard, and Lancelot suffered from lovesickness as he watched her. As for me, who wished for nothing more than my favourite character's happiness, I wanted to ease his heartache. Even if I were to ever have any feelings towards Duke Vestia, it wouldn't change the fact that he was a piece of trash not even worthy of being called human.
"Charlotte, Milady." I didn't expect Lancelot to call me by my name. The gentle gaze from before had vanished. Instead, his red eyes were fixed with a sharp stare, like that of an apex predator. I couldn't help but wince at Lancelot's abnormal behaviour.
"I, Lancelot, have served Milady since childhood for ten years now." Having said that, it felt as though Lancelot would give a warm smile. But no, he stood serious and cold. It felt as though all the seasons collided into one at this very moment. Lancelot made his decision.
"You may fool anybody else, but you cannot fool me." Though he had said it in the most placidly calm way, Lancelot's gaze was enough to tell he didn't believe me in the slightest. The plot of
Held A Flower
flashed past my mind. Most of the story was based on how desperately Charlotte loved the duke. And so of course, it'd only be natural for Lancelot to not believe me.
'Right, Charlotte was unusually stubborn for someone with such a soft and ladylike personality.' That was something even I agreed to. But right now, I am Charlotte myself. I don't know for how long, but the least I wanted to do was to rid the misunderstanding that I still loved Duke Vestia. Because I no longer wanted to see my favourite character constantly suppress himself watching his lady who continued to embrace landmines. And Duke Vestia was the greatest landmine of all.
'What should I do in order to get Lancelot to believe me?' Seeing how bluntly he shot it down, it was clear it won't be easy to get him to believe. It was then; only after pondering it again and again. Suddenly, an idea hit me with a flash. If I did this, Lancelot was sure to be convinced. And, with luck, it would lead to his eventual happiness.
Having made a huge decision, I turned to face Lancelot. He was waiting to see how I would respond.
"Lancelot, I've decided to quit."
"What do you mean by that, Milady?"
I took a deep breath, then I answered.
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"Revenge."
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Bonnie:
*
Bows*
I'm sorry for not being able to proofread chapter 3! I'm currently working on a webtoon and searching for an artist to collaborate with. Anyhow, do send your appreciation to our proofreader guest, Bibli!