I couldn't bring myself to say anything. Adeus said he had lost someone dear to him in the war. War is like that. Both the enemy country and my empire become desolate and wither. The common people in the border villages, without any guards or knights to protect them, live in constant anxiety when war breaks out. Sometimes an entire village is burned down by a sudden raid from enemy soldiers, and woodcutters who go into the mountains to cut trees can be killed. The high-ranking nobles living close to the royal family in the capital, however, are pleased that their territory has expanded, bringing more vassals and more taxes, and they go about their lives as if the war has nothing to do with them. Someone who is a hero to one person can be an object of hatred to another.
'That's why I always glared at Terdeo, disregarding my own life.'
That's why I couldn't respond to Adeus's words.
"I think I have no choice but to be hated. After all, it was I who approached and deceived you systematically. I'm sorry."
"Why did you suddenly decide to tell the truth?"
"I wanted to prove that I am not someone who would harm Her Highness the Duchess."
"..."
"To do that, I thought I had to correct the lies, even if it meant being hated."
I just blinked in confusion, and suddenly Terdeo scooped me up in his arms.
"Let's go back, Shasha."
"..."
Adeus, aware of Terdeo's presence, called out my pet name with emphasis and turned around. Adeus grabbed our ankles from behind.
"May I ask one thing, Your Grace?"
"..."
"Does the Laphireon family make Her Highness the Duchess unhappy?"
Teredo's steps came to a halt. His red eyes, like a ship lost at sea, wandered aimlessly.
"..."
"You're not answering."
Teredo, unable to speak as if his heart had been pierced, remained silent. I raised my voice for him, answering with confidence and a strong gaze over my shoulder at Adeus.
"Adeus."
"..."
"The Laphireon family, and my husband, will never make me unhappy."
Adeus smiled pitifully in response to my reaction.
"That's a relief. All I wish for is that Her Highness the Duchess remains well. If she is in pain, I feel like I would rush to her side again, just like today."
"That's ridiculous."
Teredo bit his lip. His red eyes, now filled with an indescribable possessiveness, glinted fiercely. Terdeo's arms began to tremble with uncontrollable anger.
"How dare you..."
Before he could finish, Terdeo held me with one hand and roughly pulled out my earring. The moment I saw his action, my body moved on its own.
"...Téo!"
I was startled and grabbed Terdeo's hand tightly. I knew what his action meant. Terdeo was truly planning to kill Adeus with a curse.
"Don't do something you'll regret."
If you kill Adeus with a curse here, Terdeo will suffer and regret it for a long time. I don't want to see him like that.
"Adeus."
I understood the devastating feeling of losing someone dear in war. I knew he needed an outlet for his misplaced anger. But...
"Téo is my husband. When Téo is in pain or sad, I am also in pain and sad."
But I'm a very selfish and cruel person. Terdeo's pain was more important to me than Adeus's.
"So if you really wanted to tell the truth to avoid hurting me... don't hurt Téo."
With those words, I calmed Terdeo and urged him to move. Fortunately, Terdeo followed my lead. We left Adeus behind and descended the mountain.
"...But if there's anything that makes Her Highness the Duchess unhappy or sad... if you need help, let me know anytime."
I heard a small murmur from behind, but I ignored it, thinking it was just the wind.
"It's enough that I alone am unhappy and sad because of that family."
***
The sound of strong blows echoed through the mountain as the sun set. Adeus, left alone, clenched his teeth and repeatedly struck the tree. The support on his wrist had long since disappeared, and his knuckles were bleeding. But Adeus didn't stop. He felt he couldn't stay sane without inflicting pain on his body.
"Damn..."
This wasn't how he planned to talk. He intended to hide everything and stay by her side, no matter what. He wanted to take revenge on the Laphireon family, who had killed his family, and on Terdeo, who had taken away his beloved mother and younger sister. Adeus had lost his mother, whom he cherished more than his life, and his younger sister, his reason to live, in the war. All he could do was cry silently for days. The swordsmanship he had honed since birth was useless. He couldn't even give them a proper funeral or a tombstone. He could only hope they would find a good place from a distance, fleeing like a fugitive. How much pain did his gentle mother feel in her last moments? How terrified was his mischievous younger sister? His sister, who would cry at the slightest bump on a wooden table. His mother, who would say walking was painful on rainy days. The fact that he couldn't protect them made him want to die and be angry with himself. He should have died instead. It was more shameful and miserable that the one who survived was him.
"Damn."
The guilt of being the only survivor weighed heavily on his shoulders every day. The only driving force for Adeus to keep going was 'revenge.' He did things he shouldn't, dirty deeds, and even killed his emotions to survive. Perecchi was an unwelcome variable for Adeus. At first, she was part of the plan. Every glance and smile was calculated. He thought she was like a cat, wary and not easily letting anyone in. As they got to know each other, conversations were sometimes enjoyable, and her sharp responses were exciting. When she stood up confidently with her own opinions, she reminded him of a brave younger sister, and when she showed compassion, she reminded him of his mother. This change troubled Adeus.
"...My hands are a mess. I won't be able to hold a sword for a while."
His dead family members scolded him in his dreams, and sometimes even breathing felt heavy. When the fire incident happened, he thought thousands of times that he should have just let her die. He vowed that if such an opportunity came again, he would definitely do it. So Adeus didn't see Perecchi until he could control his feelings. He didn't understand his own actions towards her. He was afraid that seeing her would weaken his resolve and make him lose his mind. And that premonition came true.
"...Ha."
Even though he was wearing a robe, Adeus recognized Perecchi immediately at the temple. The moment he saw her, he barely suppressed the urge to run out and take her far away from the dangerous temple. He tried to convince himself it wasn't his problem. But when Dodelia's dagger was aimed at Perecchi, Adeus's sanity snapped.
"Damn..."
When he came to, Adeus was already carrying Perecchi down the mountain. His body, which hurt even to walk, felt as light as a bird in flight. Despite being from the family he needed to take revenge on... seeing her face after so long was genuinely a relief. He heard the voices of his mother and sister, filled with resentment, asking if they had been forgotten, but Adeus wanted to save Perecchi.
"...Am I crazy?"
He felt disgusted with himself for finding joy in conversations with her. His life wasn't meant to be enjoyable; it was to avenge his unfinished grievances and take revenge. He hated himself for momentarily forgetting his revenge and even laughing.
"I wish I were crazy."
Everything was a mess.
"Crazy bastard."
He guessed it would continue to be like this. Today, he realized painfully that he couldn't ignore or avoid Perecchi. Even if his plans went awry, he would make sure she didn't cry and would be there to protect her from harm.
"Crazy bastard."
While Adeus was banging his head against the tree, a deep voice called out.
"There you are."
Adeus turned his head to see a man frowning at him.
"Why are you taking off your shirt? Are you training?"
"...Give me some clothes. Mine are too dirty to wear."
The man readily took off his shirt and handed it to Adeus. Adeus, as if it were a routine, started putting it on.
"Are you okay?"
"...I feel good, but the situation is the worst."
He felt relieved after confessing his sins to Perecchi, but the situation was heavy.
"I was surprised when you suddenly ran out of the temple earlier. Why did you push yourself with your condition?"
"What about the others?"
"They all went back, and I came to look for you."
"Good job."
The man smiled in satisfaction at Adeus's praise and picked up his fallen clothes.
"Should I throw these away?"
The clothes were dirty with mud, but they were the ones he had worn when he carried Perecchi.
'These should be thrown away.'
Adeus looked at the clothes in the man's hand with narrowed eyes.
"I'll take them. I'll keep them."
Words contrary to his thoughts slipped out, and Adeus closed his eyes tightly.
'Really, enough of this.'
The man, looking skeptical, handed over the shirt. Adeus, who had vowed to throw it away, carefully folded it. He even brushed off the mud with his hands