For a moment, Terdeo froze as if he had been slapped. The unfamiliar and awkward words, saying that he didn't want to get his hands dirty, seemed strange to him. Gloria had said that Terdeo was a pitiful child who didn't know how to love himself or others. Not knowing how to love himself, he found the consideration shown towards him very unfamiliar.
"And I'm already using you plenty. You haven't forgotten, have you?"
"…What?"
"You have to keep me from dying, remember? Our contract. I'm using the only Grand Duke in the empire as a shield."
"Ridiculous."
Terdeo clenched his fist.
"That was just our contract. It wasn't something I had to do."
"But you are using me, right?"
"…I've already stained my hands with countless blood. A few more deaths won't change anything."
Terdeo revealed a strong will. It seemed he was trying hard to appeal his usefulness.
"I just…"
"Theo, you don't have to do something to prove your worth."
"…!"
"You don't need to kill someone to find a reason to live."
He had long understood that Terdeo didn't like killing. Despite his great achievements in every war, Terdeo ironically didn't like war. He just participated in wars to win and prove his worth. He acted as if he was trying to find a reason to live despite being cursed.
"You weren't born to kill people."
Terdeo's pupils trembled. He clenched his jaw tightly. For a moment, it seemed like he might be crying. But before the worry could fully form, Terdeo turned his head forcefully. It was as if he didn't know how to react to the unfamiliar words, like a child hearing them for the first time. He didn't know how to love others because he didn't love himself. He lacked confidence in himself, always jumping to the conclusion that 'no one could love someone like me,' which made it impossible for him to love or be loved by others.
"Theo."
You don't have to do something to live.
"If you feel like you're doing nothing and don't know what to do, and start to hate yourself."
You don't have to be useful to someone.
"Even if you look messy, we live each moment by breathing. Just by breathing and living, you can make someone happy and grateful."
"…If I feel that way?"
"Check if I'm eating well. If I'm resting well. If I'm smiling well."
"What?"
"You've protected me today. Under your protection, I've had a good day, eaten well, rested well, and smiled well."
The veins on Terdeo's clenched hand stood out.
"I'll thank you when our eyes meet."
Even if your life feels insignificant.
"Theo."
You don't have to be great or special.
"Thanks to you, I've lived another day. Thank you."
I'll be the one to feel grateful for your life. The carriage fell silent. Terdeo seemed dazed, as if his soul had left his body. A gentle breeze blew through the carriage window.
"The weather is really nice."
Trying to change the mood, I turned my gaze to the window, but the sky was darkening despite the warm breeze.
"…The weather was nice, but now it's not."
"You really are…"
Terdeo shook his head, laughing as if giving up. For a moment, it felt like the sun was shining through the darkening sky. A halo seemed to appear behind the laughing Terdeo. It disappeared when I rubbed my eyes in surprise.
'I must be crazy.'
I sighed in disbelief and turned my head to the window. The carriage had left the steep hill and was entering the square leading to the viscount's residence. That's when it happened.
'Huh?'
As the carriage passed through the square, a blurry image appeared before my eyes. It looked like a shadow, a dream, or a mirage, but it didn't feel real.
'What is it?'
The image showed a woman tied to a large tree in the center of the square, surrounded by people. The woman looked disheveled, her face hidden by her messy hair. The people around her were angry and agitated.
Suddenly, my heart started beating fast, and I felt hot, as if I had drunk strong alcohol the night before.
'Could it be the aftereffects of yesterday?'
That was absurd. Moreover, the blurry image seemed visible only to me, as no one else seemed to notice it.
'Can Theo see it?'
I checked Terdeo, who was looking out the window to cool his face like me. He was clearly looking straight ahead but showed no reaction.
At that moment.
'Die! You witch!'
'Kill her!'
A loud, hostile voice echoed in my head, as if chasing away a stranger.
"Ugh."
The pain in my head was intense, making it hard to open my eyes. But I tried to focus on the blurry image, pressing my temples. For some reason, my gaze kept being drawn to it. It felt like I had to see it, as if I had been hypnotized. Suddenly, the woman tied to the tree moved her blood-crusted lips with difficulty.
'I am not a witch…'
At the same time, a voice echoed in my head. The angry voices I had heard earlier must have come from this image. The woman was crying, her voice trembling with moisture. Even though I couldn't see the situation, just hearing her voice made my heart ache.
'I didn't curse anyone!'
The woman's cry of injustice spread, and my headache worsened.
"Ugh."
"Why are you like this?"
Terdeo, sitting opposite, realized the seriousness of the situation and hurried over, but his voice didn't reach me. The voices from the image were louder than his. Again, a loud voice echoed.
'Kill her! The witch must die!'
'Burn her! Fire!'
'Ugh. Why are you shouting? Can't we talk quietly?'
"Fereshati?"
"Ugh. It's noisy. Please, go away."
Terdeo looked at me in shock, thinking I was talking to him, but I had no time to care. The blurry image started moving. After the loud voices, a woman stepped forward from the crowd. She held a burning torch. Before I could think about what she was doing, she threw the torch at the straw pile near the tied woman. Whoosh! The fire started. The sense of unease from a recent fire accident made my stomach churn, even though I knew it was an illusion.
'Ah!'
This was a different cry for help, more vivid and real. Shocked, I reached out as if to jump out of the carriage and shouted loudly.
"No!"
"Fereshati!"
The acrid smell of the fire accident hit my nose, and my throat felt constricted, making it hard to breathe. As I tried to scratch my throat with my nails, the woman who threw the torch suddenly turned around. The blurry image was looking directly at me inside the carriage. Our eyes met, and the woman in the image laughed creepily, looking at me. I recognized her face.
"Gasping!"
It was Dodelea. Shocked to recognize the woman in the image, I took a deep breath. My legs trembled. Terdeo was shouting and shaking me, but I couldn't turn my gaze away.
'Hehe.'
Dodelea's image laughed mockingly, as if looking at me in reality. The chilling laughter spread from my toes to my head.
"Ugh!"
It was a bizarre, hair-raising laugh. I covered my ears to block it out, but it didn't help. Suddenly, Dodelea's image stopped laughing and slowly pointed at the tied woman. Following her hand, I saw—
"…!"
The face of the woman tied to the tree and burning was clearly revealed. It was me.
"Ah!"
Seeing my face, twisted in pain and engulfed in flames, I felt as if I was burning. It was different from the previous fire accident. It felt like I was really on fire, hot and painful. The pain was unbearable. Shocked, I screamed and convulsed.
"Fereshati!"
Terdeo grabbed me urgently. Noticing my gaze was directed out the window, he quickly pulled down the curtain to block my view.
"I'm burning! Fire! It's hot! Help me!"
"Fereshati! Snap out of it, look at me!"
Terdeo restrained my convulsions with force. He grabbed my cheeks with both hands, forcing me to meet his gaze. The warmth of his touch brought me back to my senses. I was still in the carriage and not burning. I realized I wasn't burning but felt cold, as if I had just emerged from icy water. My body shivered.
'Hehehehehe.'
The mocking laughter seemed to lure me to look out the window again. I turned my head involuntarily, but Terdeo held my face firmly, preventing me from moving.
"Fereshati!"
His deep, red eyes, under his furrowed brows, met mine.
"Where are you looking? Look at me!"
Despite the loud voice, I couldn't hear him clearly. Perhaps the incessant, eerie laughter in my head was interfering. A sharp, stabbing headache accompanied the urge to stop thinking. But I feared that if I stopped thinking, I would lose my mind.
"Damn it, Fereshati! Snap out of it!"
My body was shaken violently. Not wanting to think about anything, I closed my eyes tightly.
"…Damn it!"
Then, the warm touch on my face disappeared. A large hand moved through my hair and pulled me forcefully. A familiar scent filled my nose, and a warm, soft sensation pressed against my lips.