DOUBTS
I’ve done it!
Not good—I said it too bluntly. I was planning to say it in a roundabout way, like repeatedly folding a paper, and in polite way as much as possible!
Argh, my old, bad habits came out at such timing. In the past, when I was just starting to work here in the castle, I’d receive a thorough dressing down from the head lady-in-waiting.
Actually, my tsukkomi attribute had brought disaster on me because I talked too much. And among those ramblings were blunt remarks.
Back home, I did not hold back at retorting because of my father and elder brother. I do it twenty-four hours a day.
But no matter how much I am free to speak my mind at home, it is not fit for a lady-in-waiting. Human relationships and hierarchical relationships are complex.
That’s why I was always berated by the current head lady-in-waiting, who was in-charge of my training at that time. Whenever she harangued me, she would use the harisen to correct…… I mean, to guide me. If you want to say something, keep it to yourself, she said. Yes, if I speak out of turn, it could be said that being beaten by the harisen was ineffective.
But thanks to that, I have grown into a fine lady-in-waiting who can now read the atmosphere and get along with everyone.
Keep the tsukkomi inside!
I want to believe this. . . Well, sometimes there’s a slip of the tongue.
However, I did not think that my old, bad habits would come out at such a serious time!
I felt the color draining from my face.
Why did I say that, though? And in an unreserved way, no less. A reply of a resolute refusal.
……Is it because of this unfamiliar sweet atmosphere? No, I’m sure it is because I was still pissed off with the King and the Prime Minister. It became difficult to suppress the honest thoughts in my mind.
Well, I noticed that I was doing something horrible to Greed-sama. I was scared to hear Greed-sama’s response.
Greed-sama was surprised to hear my words. His eyes widened—and he then smiled gently. He smiled—?!
……Greed’s smile put me in a state of panic.
Wh-What does his smile mean? How can he laugh in this situation? So scaaaary! Or could it be, his smile is a flag or something?
Is it the signal of the end? Will he go for destruction? No, no, no, I believe in Greed-sama, I believe in him!
Or, Greed-sama, who smiled at my refusal, is actually a sexual deviant who has a fetish of deriving pleasure from pain!?
Uhm…… An M . . . hero?
I hate M heroes. I won’t accept it!
Even so, Greed-sama said with a smile, “Thank you, Aria.”
……I want to hold myself back a little with my outlash. The burden is too heavy. I do not have an S attribute!
But then that means that I am giving Greed-sama mental anguish, currently in progress!
Oh no! Mental anguish = giving pleasure! I said to myself, scowling.
“No, I, I . . . I don’t particularly hate you, Greed-sama.”
I thought I shouldn’t refuse Greed-sama’s proposal, not because he doesn’t like it, but rather I would be doing him a favor if I do. [T/N: Really, Aria?]
When the Hero asked for my hand in marriage, I did not want to marry him. I wanted to get away with all my might. However, the situation that time did not allow me to do it, and in the end, I delayed my reply for my own convenience by saying, “Let’s get acquainted with each other.”
At that time, I was only thinking of myself and did not consider Greed-sama’s feelings at all. I did not think about it.
……But after hearing from Renas-sama, I finally became aware of Greed-sama’s feelings. I realized how cruel I was to him.
I put off my reply to his proposal. And somehow, I put Greed-sama on the limbo, right?
What if our situation was reversed? Proposing to the person I like, but the other person does not care for me at all but couldn’t refuse because of the pressure from other people, so he can only delay his response—what if it was done to me?
I’ll be very hurt. And I was doing that to Greed-sama.
The reason why my heart ached at his confession earlier was because I felt guilty. I really regret not being able to return his feelings.
That’s why I thought things should not stay this way. For Greed-sama’s sake, not mine.
Look, there is too much difference between Greed-sama’s feelings and mine. And I, myself, thought that I was being forced because of the pressure from everyone.
If I marry Greed-sama under these circumstances, it won’t be fair to him.
That’s why at this moment, I want to reset. I want to start over again.
I would like to start again without any pressure such as him being a hero or be pressured into getting into a relationship with him by the country or the government.
—A relationship with Greed-sama, that is.
I want to get acquainted with each other like an ordinary man and woman and slowly develop a relationship.
Therefore, I would like to ask Greed-sama to withdraw his proposal.
I want to get everything back to how it was and start from the moment we first met.
……But first of all, as a friend!
—Buuut somehow, I explained it to Greed-sama in a panic.
However, while I was talking, Greed-sama’s smile got deeper and deeper.
Why is he so happy? Scaaaary!
Because of that, I was teary-eyed by the time I finished talking.
Looking at me with a delighted smile, Greed-sama said.
“Thank you, Aria. Despite this situation, you considered me [ore] not as the Hero but myself, and thought for my sake—Thank you.” [T/N: the explanation follows…]
……Oh, so that’s reason why he’s happy, huh?
I sighed in relief. So it seems that Greed-sama is not an M—please wait a moment though.
J-Just now, did Greed-sama refer to himself as “ore” instead of “watashi”!?
I remembered Milly-sama’s words. [T/N:Reference – Vol 1, I think it’s somewhere chapter 9-10]
—Aaaaahhh, are the spirits going to go on a rampage!? A natural disaster is triggered!? [T/N: Aria, did you forget the emotion part?]
One glance at my pale complexion, I guess he knew what I am anxious about. Greed-sama said, smiling.
“It’s fine. The synchronization with the spirits is turned off, and the controller is not deactivated.” [T/N: Reference – Vol 2 Chapter 12 – during Greed vs Espiridion battle]
“Is-Is that so?” [T/N: Greed, what are you? A machine with many built-in functions?]
He himself admitted so it’s credible. I felt relieved.
As long as Greed-sama looks like this, he’s far from bursting out.
……He really looks happy. Is he really that happy to be seen for who he is, and not as a Hero?
—Perhaps I already understood Greed-sama. The reason I could not reject him and treated him halfheartedly, was because he is the “Hero”. And then, driven into a corner, I was able to give my response after I started to think him.
“Greed-sama.”
I gazed at Greed-sama, clutching the purple shawl he wrapped around my shoulder and the purple flower I’m holding to my chest.
……This is the critical moment.
“I’m sorry for being selfish. But this is my response. I can’t accept you right now, Geed-sama…… That’s why, this bracelet—”
I raised my left wrist toward Greed-sama.
“Could you put it on the right instead?”
Because placing this bracelet on the left arm will make me the “The Hero’s Fiancee”, but if it is placed on the right arm, my job will revert back to the original.
—It is possible to reset it.
Thereafter, officially cancelling the marriage in front of the King and the others, I will be able to return to a mere lady-in-waiting A starting tomorrow.
From there, I can have a fresh start.
—The smile was wiped out of Greed-sama’s face.
Silently, he reached out and touched the bracelet on my left wrist.
Greed-sama’s shining silver bracelet was carved with lattice flowers. It was the other pair of my gold bracelet—which connects me to Greed-sama.
Even if the bracelet is transferred from the left to the right, it still makes us connected, right, Greed-sama?
I watched as Greed-sama was about to remove the bracelet.
—That should be it. No, it was what I thought.
“I don’t want to.”
While touching the bracelet, Greed-sama suddenly grinned and said that with a dazzling smile.
—Whaaaaaaaaat!?