Chapter 25: Cunning choice
After finishing dinner, Sachi and I did nothing in particular, just letting time flow by.
I opened a piece of paper which Miyajima had given me from out of my pocket.
On it was a phone number and a note that said, âIâm sorry for being so rude.â
From the way the message was written, I thought that she probably wanted to apologize to me.
But what I was curious about was why at this timing.
It is almost certain that Itakura is involved, and if anything, she could have ambushed me at the place where I was called out.
Would it be twisted? No, I have experience with it, so I canât help it.
â⌠Whatâs wrong, Onii-chan?â
ââŚ.Ah, itâs nothing.â
Sachi looked at me as if she could see it on my face.
ââ-I wonât pry, but donât push yourself too hard, okay?
It was obvious that it was not nothing. But Sachi was very considerate of the distance between us. That thoughtfulness warmed my heart a little.
I found myself talking to Sachi.
âWhat would Sachi do if I got fed up with everything, threw it all away, dumped it all, and disappeared somewhere?â
After I said it, I regretted it intensely. At the same time, I was filled with embarrassment.
What the hell am I asking my sister?
Itâs not fair to ask such a question. Itâs half-assed.
Sachi supports me. Itâs a tragedy of self-indulgence born of such blind faith.
I just want her to push me to take a step forward.
I was disgusted with myself for not being able to honestly rely on her.
I hid my face in my hands.
I was afraid to look at Sachiâs face.
ââ-I wonât do anythingâ
That was the answer I got from Sachi.
One could even say that it was an ideal answer.
âThere is nothing to be done about it. I have no right to do anything about it, and I have no right to blame you.â
She continued, adding, âNot to me, now.â
âI know that if I force Onii-chan to make a choice and you still donât accept it, thereâs nothing I can do about it. I accept that as punishment.â
In other words, sheâs accepting my choice.
In other words, I wanted people to accept me for who I am.
Whatever the conclusion, whatever the answer.
ââ-Thatâs Onii-chanâs choiceâ
âYeah. If itâs a decision that Onii-chan thought about and came to a satisfying conclusion, then I can accept it.â
âIf it was a desperate measure that you came up with because someone was pressuring you, I wouldnât accept it. I donât want to accept it.â
âThatâs what I meant when I said it was unfair. The most important thing to remember is that you should never be afraid to ask for help from someone who is not your friend. Right?â
ââŚCentainly, thatâs not fair.â
Sachi and I looked at each other and laughed.
Since when did the space between us become so cozy?
âWell, despite what you say, I probably wouldnât give up on Onii-chan. If Onii-chan doesnât give me the answer I want, maybe Iâll object?â
âThat would be unfair.â
âThatâs exactly what Iâm saying. Iâm a cunning girl.â
âWhat are you talking aboutâŚ..Fufufuâ
I canât let her say this much and not take a step forward.
Iâve got a reason. No, Iâve been given a reason.
For my own sake, I was a little short on courage to face up to who I am.
So, Iâll be cunning too. Letâs make up a reason.
Thatâs good enough as a reason. Iâll do my best to give Sachi the answer she wants.
Iâll do what I want to do for Sachi.
What Iâm saying is a complete mess. But Iâm the only one who needs to know that.
All the excuses, all the ways of escape, all the pathetic weapons are out of my arsenal.
I said one sentence to Sachi.
Sachi didnât say anything, but just smiled back at me.
The next morning, I arrived at school and was immediately confronted with a troublesome situation.
âOi, what the hell are you doing?â
It was Shirakawa. I want you to stop bothering me so early in the morning.
The students in the classroom also drew attention to us. Thatâs right, theyâre wondering whatâs going on.
âWhat are talking about?â
âHa!? Donât play dumb with me!â
Youâre making too much noise. Iâm not playing dumb.
âYou didnât apologize to them!â
âAh come to think of itâŚâ
Yesterday, when they didnât get involved, I thought it was all a big misunderstanding.
âIâm embarrassed because of you! What are you gonna do about it?!â
ââŚ..Embarrassed? Seriously, what are you talking about?â
Why are you humiliated because of me?
Shirakawa came at me, swearing.
He was terrifying me, but I wasnât afraid of him at all.
The first time I met him, the manager was much scarier. Now heâs like that (mainly because of Sakakibara).
âYou want to hit me?â
This guy is mistaken. Iâve been ignoring them for a long time.
âAs long as I have proof, Iâm not going to cry myself to sleep. â-Everyone here is watching?â
ââŚYou chicken sh*t.â
Shirakawa spit it out and took a step back with an expression of some embarrassment on his face.
Iâd like to ask Shirakawa to go away, but it doesnât look like thatâs going to be the case.
âWhy didnât you apologize to them?â
Is that what youâre still hung up on?
âDidnât I tell you before? What are am I apologizing for? What proof do you have that I did anything wrong in the first place?â
âHA!? Of course Sonoda said that!â
I see, she said that to said him. That is why you said you have proof.
âYouâre lying. You asked Itakura, didnât you?â
ââŚAnd what about it? The crime you committed wonât disappear.â
Oh, you easily admit it. Do you think thatâs not so important?
âMaybe she doesnât want that kind of apology?â
âThereâs no way! Donât talk big for a perpetrator!â
You talk too much. What kind of education is he getting?
Stop trying to be so loud every time. It hurts my ears.
âThen, ask her. Does she really need it? Can you ask her? It can be done via Itakura.â
ââŚDamn. You really should remember this.â
You canât ask, after all. Because this is something you guys are doing on your own, right?
Otherwise, thereâs no way that such a misunderstanding would have occurred.
(What the heck, it was easy.)
If I had been strong-minded, it would have been a piece of cake. I might have been too frightened until now.
No, in fact, I had been frightened. After all, I was on the verge of being alone.
Now, I can throw it all away. I can give up everything.
It was all thanks to Sachi, nowâ
I decided to change for Sachi.
I read through the messages on my phone.
[Iâll be waiting for you at the station after school today.]