Chapter 1: Me, myself and I
I donāt want to get my hopes up.
I know you can still do it!
Letās really give it a shot!
Can I do it? Iām doing this because I couldnāt.
Can you do it? Why should I be told that Iām not trying hard enough now. Iām just trying to live, too.
Letās try to be brave, shall we? This is the result of courage.
Gve it a real try, okay? Itās not that Iām cutting any corners.
Please donāt get your hopes up.
Why does everyone always make it seem like Iām always complaining, as if Iām always frustrated?
Wouldnāt it be nice if we were all together? Thatās not true.
Iām alone, but Iām not lonely.
Isnāt being alone lonely? No, thatās not true.
Itās easy to be alone. No one bothers me, and I donāt bother anyone.
Is it any different from being alone? Not at all.
Being by yourself is not the same as being alone. It is when you are thrown out of the circle, when others kick you out, and then you are alone.
I hate it, so I become alone. Itās easier.
Isnāt that just running away?ā
Everyone has been talking about it.
But I donāt know whatās wrong with running away.
I chose to be alone because it was hard.
Being alone is difficult, so I became alone.
Who made me taste that pain? Itās you guys.
Address, cheap apartment of 30,000 a month. Part-time job 4 times a week.
No vacations and between studying and working.
Parent-child relationship is the worst. Iāve hardly seen my sister, who is two years younger than me, since I started living alone.
Does that bother you? I donāt think it bothers me at all.
This is because Iām alone to make sure that doesnāt happen.
Iām happy with my life. I canāt afford to be extravagant, but I make enough to pay my cell phone bill, and I have a decent amount of savings.
After all, Iāve been working all my life. I donāt have any memories of playing.
Iām not going to complain. Itās the path I chose.
Therefore, please donāt express it in terms of any compromises.
One person has his or her own way of being proud of being aloneāā-.
The dayās classes ended with the order of the day supervisor.
The students are now free to engage in conversation in their own communities.
āIām doneeee, letās go have fun later today, okay?ā
āGreat, how about some karaoke?ā
āOh! I like that! Thatās a deal.ā
This is exactly what high school students do after school.
They go out to play. They work hard at their club activities. Studying in study hall.
No one interrupts their activities.
(I donāt have a part-time job today, so letās just go home.)
As I said, no one interfered with Shuya Kitamiās activities.
If I had to describe what kind of person I am, I would say that I am a āloner.ā
I am always alone, and I donāt want to break out of that situation.
I arrived home without being approached by anyone.
My house is a 20-minute bike ride from the school.
The rent is 30,000 yen. And it has a separate toilet and bath. It is spacious enough to live alone.
It is one of the best conditions in Tokyo.
But, to tell you the truth, it is what is called ā cursedā. Yes, it is an accidental property.
The previous occupant died a solitary death in this room. Thatās why the price is so low.
Well, I donāt really care about that kind of thing, so I just think itās a good deal. The rent of 30,000 yen for a room under these conditions is honestly too much to ask for.
Besides, I donāt have enough life experience to talk about other peopleās lives. Even if they say they died alone, I donāt have that kind of feeling for other peopleās lives.
That day, I made a simple vegetable stir-fry, ate it, and went to bed. I donāt have a test coming up, and Iām usually busy with my part-time job, so a day like this every once in a while is fine.
I got into the flimsy futon and immediately departed into a dream.
āOi. I heard thereās a transfer student in the next class.ā
The next day, the class was buzzing with this information. The classroom was abuzz with talk of this.
(A transfer student, huh?)
To be honest, I wasnāt interested. I had nothing to do with it.
āI heard sheās really cute! Letās go see them later!ā
I was still alone in the classroom, waiting for homeroom to begin.
I was curiositythat I couldnāt help but take a peek at the rumored class when I went to the restroom after homeroom.
I would say taking a glance, but only briefly. Itās not so much curiosity as it is, come to think of it.
But then I saw something unbelievable there.
The back seat. A small crowd of people.
The transfer student had beautiful black hair and a small smile on her face. She gives the impression of being more of the beautiful type than the cute type.
She was chatting with her new classmatesā¦
It was the girl who once betrayed me.