The house in 32nd Dique district was the one he’d bought with his first salary. Up until that point, Shen Zhirou had always lived in the interplanetary orphanage, while he seemed to have been without a fixed residence.
However, he’d merely heard all of this from Shen Zhirou as he still hadn’t remembered anything.
At first glance, everything was very messy. Compared to their luxurious and extravagant new house, this place appeared almost too disorderly since there were so many things.
This place simply didn’t look like they’d moved out; nothing had been removed and all the equipment was still in its place. He thought for a moment—firstly, it was probably because he was not short of money, and secondly, Shen Zhifan probably thought that he’d return to this place.
Although it was messy, it seemed much more comfortable. He quickly swept a look over the room, and could see some discs and snacks that hadn’t been cleaned up, as well as some scattered newspapers.
It…it seemed like he’d only gone out to visit somewhere and would return at any time, lying on the clean bed to sleep.
Although he had no recollection of this place, he could still feel a kind of inexplicable intimacy. He subconsciously knew that this place could really be called his own.
However, even though it was cosy, it was a pity that there was no damn use. After searching for half a day and not even seeing hide nor hair of the diary, he began to regret not bringing Shen Zhirou with him.
The reason why he hadn’t brought Shen Zhirou along was because he wasn’t quite sure…if the previous him hadn’t wanted to tell Shen Zhirou, it was definitely because he didn’t want her to come into contact with these things.
Those…whatever was written in the diary, was it something he shouldn’t let Shen Zhirou know?
No, it wasn’t that he should not, it was that he could not.
Undaunted, he searched thoroughly for another half day but still couldn’t find anything. Then, he incidentally caught sight of an old magazine on his bedside table.
Only a corner of the magazine could be seen, but Shen Zhifan felt his breath hitch.
He was very familiar with it.
…It was the “Mechanical Falcon”. A magazine from a rural planet that was always rather backwards and unorganised, with a messy cover as well, the garish corner gave off the stench of tackiness.
However, the person on the cover seemed to be sharply juxtaposed against it. The man was charmingly handsome and full of determination; his eyes held a light akin to the deepest stars in the cosmos – it was hard for him to suit the words “Mechanical Falcon”. His mere image raised the bar for this originally drab and uninspired magazine.
Shen Zhifan quietly looked at it for a moment. He couldn’t help but reach out to gently stroke the cover.
Unwillingness, intertwined with longing, the wistful recalling of fond memories.
The cover page had already been aged yellow, though Shen Zhifan knew that it wasn’t his original copy. Although “Mechanical Falcon” wasn’t a very high-quality magazine, it had been very popular amongst the boys of his age. Even if Shen Zhifan attempted to preserve it, it would’ve already been beaten to the point where only the cover could be looked at.
After he grew up, he had probably bought another copy from who-knows-where.
He touched the spot on his forehead where he’d been kissed.
These past few years, what had actually happened?
He tried to arrange the events that he simply couldn’t remember, starting from the very beginning.
He had met Yan Shuo when he was sixteen – the day after the last day he could remember. This was something Yan Shuo had told him, so there was little room for error.
Then, after some period of time, N-192 was destroyed in an explosion. He and Shen Zhirou had managed to escape alive and ended up in the interplanetary orphanage.
He didn’t stay there, following a man outside to work instead. Thinking over it now…that probably had something to do with the underground mech league that Yan Shuo had mentioned.
After that, he’d met Yan Shuo again, the underground mech arena had been closed, and he had escaped. Shen Zhifan then joined the interstellar mech league – this was now easy to explain. Since he’d already been working in the underground arena for many years, he had taken the Number One Rookie spot that year in the mech league. Since then, the clouds had parted for him and his life, following that, became bright and clear.
It could be said that he should currently be blissful and content, at least compared to how unbearable his past sounded.
But right at this time, why had he lost his memories?
What was the cause of his amnesia?
No one would ever suddenly become amnesic for no reason, and moreover, these memories had been lost too cleanly. Add another day on and he would’ve met Yan Shuo – another few months and he would have been displaced. From there, the trajectory of his life had been turned upside down, bidding farewell to everything from before.
He even felt that he was a blank piece of paper. Although he possessed a fragment of his past, that bit was too innocent.
It was as if the truth was on the back of the paper, but he couldn’t turn it over to read it no matter what.
He put the magazine between his legs. Inevitably, he began thinking of the past.
Although, to him, said past was simply yesterday.
That youth was still young and pure, at an age where he only held a sincere longing for the outside world.
At that time, his ambitions weren’t actually too great. At most, he wanted to leave N-192 and buy more books. If he became wealthy, he would go look around the imperial planet and visit the still-unknown outside world. If he became wealthier by some stroke of luck, perhaps he could even meet the man that he longed for in his dreams – getting an autograph wasn’t that important…he just wanted to tell that man the ambitions in his heart.
And all of this was now right in front of him, easily obtained.
They were so easily obtained ah, Shen Zhifan.
He said to himself.
What aren’t you satisfied with, huh?
No, there really wasn’t anything to be unsatisfied about.
But in accordance with what he felt in his heart, he sensed that underneath everything that seemed perfect and calm, only knives drenched with blood awaited him.
Because he wanted to return that person’s feelings, ah.
He slowly crouched down and curled into himself.
No, wait a minute – he sighed, suddenly becoming aware that he had come here to resolve these very mysteries. The writings in his diary would definitely be able to explain a lot.
If there was nothing, that would be for the best. But if there really was something…he collected himself.
If there really was something, he would be able to resolve it.
If he were to hide his diary, where would he hide it?
Shen Zhifan sunk into thought, feeling that he should calm down for a moment. Even though the future Shen Zhifan had changed a lot, they were still the same person. When hiding something, their train of thought should be roughly the same.
He thought for a moment, and eventually his gaze landed on the bed.
Ever since he was little, he’d hidden lots of secrets on his bed. For example, he used to hide Yan Shuo’s magazine cover from back then under his pillow.
With other little objects and secrets, he liked to shove them under the bed.
He laid down on the left side of the bed – he was used to sleeping on this side – then reached out to slowly feel around the bedside.
Soon, his fingertips touched a slightly sunken area – if it weren’t for the specific feel of it, one would think it was only a decorative design on the bedside.
His heartbeat was somewhat quick, and he hovered over that place for a moment. Finally, he decided to simply press down.
With a mechanical click, a drawer-like section slowly extended out from the side of the bed.
He looked at the diary sitting safely in the secret drawer and let out a breath.
As expected, the only one who understood him the best was himself.
…
“Arrange for a meeting with my father as soon as possible, en, yes, now.”
Yan Shuo put down the phone, turning to Olivia who was dozing on the sofa.
Olivia was still the Olivia from before, both beautiful and arrogant, with an IQ that didn’t quite match her looks.
“I’m really too tired,” Olivia’s droopy eyes watched a hanging lamp somewhat languidly, “Running and hiding left and right, afraid that they would find me – as if they really cared about me so much. Of course, that wasn’t it, that was only in order to control me.”
“And there’s Shen Zhifan too,” Olivia looked down, “He’s really too formidable; if it weren’t for me pretending to be infatuated with him and getting him the attention of the royal family, I’m afraid I would be another departed soul under his blade.”
Yan Shuo massaged his temples.
He wasn’t in the mood to wrangle with Olivia. Although she liked to digress, she definitely wasn’t joking about what she’d just said.
“Why did Ferdinand rebel?”
Yan Shuo’s gaze, sharp as a blade, quietly settled on her.
“Oh, I actually thought you’d ask me about Shen Zhifan,” Olivia sat up, thought for a moment, then sighed, “What else could it have been? Desire, wild ambition – even if his status was honourable up to now, he was still unsatisfied with his current level of power. He couldn’t even wait for my old father to abdicate.”
“But he isn’t here now – he’s in the wormhole quadrant, where communications can’t reach him. He’ll just let you go like this?”
“This older brother of mine has always been very arrogant,” Olivia sighed, “He’s always thought of himself as flawless – besides, he already has some preventative measures in place. I already said that Shen Zhifan was one of his most useful blades, there’s nothing he can’t do.”
Yan Shuo didn’t speak. The news of Ferdinand’s rebellion was far too sudden, and the news about Shen Zhifan even more so.
“Tsk, didn’t you always think that Shen Zhifan liked Ferdinand? It’s actually not like that – oh alright, I’m not too clear on you guys and your male-male relationships,” Olivia shrugged, “I only know why he followed Ferdinand.”
Yan Shuo’s heart suddenly sank, “Why?”
“Because…of what happened to Shen Zhifan.”
Olivia raised her eyes, her dark irises moving on her snow-white face.
“Now, the higher-ups are still covering up the case of N system’s explosion from back then – even with your high status, it’s still unclear. Don’t you think it’s strange?”
“Shen Zhifan hates this Empire to death, that’s why he can work with Ferdinand so easily.”
Yan Shuo’s voice roughened.
“What happened to him?”
Olivia opened up an image on her phone.
“Do you know of the S-class military secret, ‘Project Glory’? They used thousands of methods and schemes in order to seize the people with that bloodline – and Shen Zhifan and his mother both have it. To obtain their blood while not alerting their archenemy, paying the price of tens of thousands of lives is nothing.”
“Because of the Empire, Shen Zhifan lost his parents, his home, and everything else. Can you guess why he hated them?”
“Ferdinand told him all of this and took Shen Zhifan under his protection, erasing his name from the list for ‘Project Glory’. This was because he felt that Shen Zhifan was too useful and shouldn’t disappear from this world just for that rotten project. A mech genius like him…really is too useful.”
Yan Shuo’s fingers tightened up.
“There’s also something else that I might as well tell you about,” Olivia began chewing on her damned gum again, “The Yan family is also a serious threat to Ferdinand. After dealing with me, Shen Zhifan’s next target was you.”