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“Today is the end.”
Now Evelina’s voice held no trace of laughter. It had become rigid and cold. Consequently, her voice sounded somewhat like that of a worried person. It was astonishing. The one being threatened here was not Evelina, but rather myself. If anyone were to listen, they would think Evelina was being threatened by me.
“It’s the end,” I said.
With that thought in mind, it wasn’t easy to rise. The morning sunlight pouring in through the window was dazzling, and the chirping of busy birds filled the air. Lost in the idea of it being the end, I closed my eyes and leisurely savored these sights and sounds. Today was just like yesterday. And there would be no tomorrow.
I lay on the bed, closing my eyes for a long time, barely preparing myself to get up.
After a while, dressed in simple attire, I entered the study. Familiar attendants, who had become quite recognizable, were waiting for me as if it were only natural, holding documents in their hands.
It has been a few days since I began this work. When I revealed my presence, they lowered their heads and greeted me.
“Good morning,” I said.
As soon as I greeted them, all sorts of documents piled up on the desk. The attendants, standing beside me, raised their voices, saying it was their turn first, and then they promptly formed a line, waiting for their turn. First, I quickly inspected the first document.
After a while, when the signing was done, I handed over the completed document, and the attendant who received it spoke with a bright face.
“Then, I will bring the remaining parts tomorrow. Please take care tomorrow as well!”
With a smile, he bowed and soon left the study. As I watched the departing figure of the joyful attendant, I let out a bitter smile.
“Tomorrow,” I thought.
Tomorrow, I might not be here. I strained to hold back the words I wanted to say. Suddenly, I became curious. Who will be sitting here tomorrow? The original Evelina? Or a newly inserted soul other than myself?
Then I remembered the attendant who had turned back a while ago. He seemed so delighted, expecting that he would be able to complete the remaining work tomorrow.
A feeling of pity washed over me.
Perhaps he had developed affection for this place. I looked around the study. It was an immensely spacious area. Behind me were shelves akin to a library, and on the opposite side, another desk was piled with work-related documents. Now, on a chair placed against one of the walls, attendants sat, waiting for their turn, engaging in conversations about the tasks at hand.
“Why did I work so diligently?” I wondered.
Evelina, whom I met in a dream, had said those words to me.
“I’ve dreamt of this.”
Lying in a hospital bed, browsing through people’s everyday lives on a social media app, what I envied the most was not something extraordinary. It was chatting with friends, going to beautiful places, or going to eat delicious food. Among them, strangely enough, what I envied the most was seeing a post with a takeaway cup in hand, captioned, “Let’s keep going today!”
Each day may not be easy, but the recognition I received for doing my share of work. That was what I envied the most.
“So, I worked diligently.”
Moreover, I had become excited about enjoying even those aspects in this newfound life. Although the desire to change the contents of the novel was a reason to live differently, the truth was, my greed for such things was even greater.
***
“Is this the end?” she asked, as my plan to live busily until the very last moment, without entertaining any other thoughts, turned into mere froth with those words. One of the many items on my filled schedule had been cancelled due to insufficient preparation.
“Well then, let’s find something else to do. It wouldn’t hurt to get a head start on tomorrow’s tasks,” I suggested.
“No, it would be best for you to rest now,” the officials quickly intervened, extending their hands to stop me. Without uttering a word among themselves, they swiftly collected the documents from my desk and hastily exited. The other officials, observing their actions, nodded and spoke.
“It would be troublesome if you exhaust yourself by overworking all at once.”
“That’s right. Since it has been a short time since you last fainted and the exact cause is still unclear, it would be wise to take some more rest.”
Their words left me bewildered.
“No, there’s no need for this.”
But when I regained my senses, I found myself back in my room. Dinner, which had been prepared earlier than usual, displayed on the table with a dazzling array of dishes. I sat down and, with the thought that this might be my final supper, my hand moved slowly. Like a condemned prisoner savoring their last meal, I tasted every dish without leaving a single one untouched. Even though I intentionally ate the food slowly, by the time I returned to my room, the sun had finally set.
“We shall take our leave now. Rest well,” they said as the door closed, and the room fell into silence. Alone, I climbed onto the bed, cradling my knees and burying my face.
How much time is left until the end of today?
“Is Evelina beckoning from the other side of consciousness again? Would people perceive it as if I had lost my mind?” I pondered.
The thoughts continued to flow.
“Given Evelina’s personality, it seems like she would speak to me right now. Asking if I haven’t changed my mind yet. Saying that I could just grab anyone passing by and beg for a night’s shelter. Contrary to my expectation of being teased like that, Evelina hasn’t spoken to me except when she woke up in the morning.”
“Come to think of it, she claims to be a saint, yet she has never properly utilized her powers.”
Apart from the automatic activation of her powers when opening the secret passage, I couldn’t recall a time when she had consciously used her powers. No, there was one more occasion.
Quietly, I lifted my nightgown, revealing three circular marks on my thigh.
“I wonder what this is.”
Someone had deliberately left those marks. It was neither an appropriate place to show them nor did Evelina have any memories related to them, preventing me from guessing their origin. When I first discovered and touched them, the powers briefly glowed.
“It felt as though this needed healing.”
The powers seemed to radiate as if urging me to heal and erase them. But even if I had tried, I couldn’t heal my own body, so it would have been futile. There were many other things that intrigued me as well. Questions such as who the official named Karl was, and why I had no memories of following him. Those were the things that kept me wondering for a long time until I buried my face again.