The full moon is shining on my back and for a second, Iām glad I turned my back on the window, because I know that this way you wonāt see my ugly, distorted face.
After a long silence, I said out loud:
ā Iām not sure what Iām doing here.
ā You really donāt know? ā the mockery in his voice left me paralyzed, this was not funny.
ā I wonāt show up again, I wonāt be at the palace, and I wonāt be in your office.
For some reason I couldnāt stop talking and justifying my presence here, I felt I had to explain so many things and at the same time I was questioning why.
I closed my eyes tightly, then I opened them and rubbed them with the back of my hand.
Are these tears?
ā Goodbye, Your Majesty, you are so strongā¦ I know you will find a good woman and be happy.
With a determined expression, I gave him my last words and left his office.
I canāt remember, in fact, if everything turned out as I remember, I canāt even remember the expressions on the princeās face.
Anyway, I never saw him again.
That was the end of my unrequited love.
I managed to hold on long enough and now Iām free. But something is wrong, something doesnāt feel right.
Oh, this is another dream.
Againā¦
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ā Aaaaaaah!
I woke up there, screaming as much as I could.
My back was covered in cold sweat, my head was spinning, but thatās not the point.
I had that dream again!
Three years ago I went into the palace to give myself up to the prince, until I checked that we were alone! But it all turned out to be an unpleasant disaster.
ā Oh! Shame! Shame!
I screamed again, kicking the blankets. Thatās when someone took the blankets off me. It was Martha, my nanny and maid.
ā No no! You canāt kick the blanket, itās new!
ā Give it back! Oh, Iām so embarrassed! Why did I do it? Why?!
I kicked two or three times in the air, and now I started screaming, burying my face in the pillow.
I didnāt have that dream for a while
Why did it come back?
ā Well, if weāre talking aboutā¦ that person, I get it. If I were you, I would have died of embarrassment a long time agoā¦ Ah!
I threw a pillow over her face, and Martha, despite my attempts to hit her, had a smile on her lips.
ā It seems like it was really a bad dream.
ā Stop teasing me!
I screamed and fought, my face buried in the pillow, but Martha was right, it was a dream that reminded me of all the things I had done, it was so embarrassingā¦
It was the worst thing Iād ever done. Three years ago, when I was sixteen, I snuck into the palace and declared that I would give myself to the prince, after asking him why he hadnāt attended my debutante ball.
I closed my eyes.
ā Iām crazy, if I ever think about it againā¦
Even now, a cold sweat runs down my back.
It was only later that I realized that sneaking into the palace in the first place was a very big crime that could be considered treason.
For some reason, the prince, who had always been so cold to me, saved me from such a fate.
It was the only generous act he could offer me in yearsā¦
I stood up and closed my eyes.
ā Oh, I wish I could erase my memory and forget everything.
But I know itās impossible and I have to live with the shame.
ā Miss, you must bathe and eat.
Marthaās voice brought me out of my reverie.
ā I will bathe and eat ā I whispered.
Maybe a bath will clear my mind.
ā Donāt be depressed, miss. Today is your 19th birthday. Youāll see that everything will be wonderful and besides, you have to go somewhere this afternoon.
This afternoon? Where?
ā Anyway, what a horrible dream! ā I wept.
ā Happy birthday, miss ā Martha laughed briefly.
My name is Ira Waldenbiston, I am the youngest daughter of the Duke of Waldenbiston. Iām nineteen this year.
My father, under the command of Emperor John Jaherd, who used to run the state without blood, sweat and tears, was one of the people who led the Empire into the Holy Kingdom. So we had great power, and our house was the first house on the boulevard in front of the palace.
On the door of our dining room we had a unique pattern, inspired by the cross knots of the ancient nobles; the giant snake, the symbol of our family.
I looked at the door with a smile, then slowly opened it and entered.
I saw my father sitting at the top of the table. And my family sitting around him.
I walked to my seat. A servant pulled up a chair very gently and I sat down, completing the family circle.
ā Happy birthday, daughter.
ā Thank you, father.
My father, Duke Waldenbiston, greeted me as soon as I sat down and looked at the piles of presents in front of me. There were too many, my eyes widened with surprise and although I did not expect it, this year I have received many gifts.
ā Isnāt that enough, dear?
ā It is enough, it is too many gifts ā I murmured as a smile formed on my lips.
ā We have many celebrations planned for today, so you just have to enjoy and have fun.
My smile got even bigger, this would be a good day.
ā Wow, can I open this one?
ā Whatever you want ā my father replied.
Excited, I started opening the gift boxes.
My fatherās gift was a gold fountain pen decorated with the most precious jade in all of the continent.
My motherās gift was a pearl necklace that she wore as a teenager, and I was very excited to wear it around my neck.
When I was about to open the next gift I noticed Biancaās intense look at me.
ā I sent my gift to your room in advance, itās a blanket ā she said, after a while, I could feel the fun in her eyes.
If her gift was a blanket, she was probably talking about the one I used as a shelter this morning in an attempt to escape my shame, thenā¦
Did she witness my wailing scene?
Shame on me!
ā The expression on your face is so funny.
Biancaās laughter came into my hatred.
ā Thank you sister, I will appreciate your gift ā I managed to say with much reluctance, ignoring her mocking.
ā Yes, I know, Martha told me how much you appreciated it ā she smiled ā Oh, my husbandās gift is earrings I just moved them into your room.
Bianca took a sip of water, checking out my shaky expression. She looked very pleased.
Three years ago, Bianca married a prestigious man from the West of Cant, the Marquis of Dame, they met at the debutante ball and some time laterā¦ wedding.
I hate herā¦ Whatās the point of getting married if youāre going to spend most of your time at your parentsā house?
I was shaking with rage.
On the other hand, Elpine smiled tenderly.
ā I brought you two gifts, a pair of cold weather boots andā¦
Elpine is my brother, the oldest of us.
He had been swinging his sword since he was a boy, and now he belonged to the Knightās Royal Guard.
Of course, he was not interested in the Imperial Palace and avoided making friends with the prince at all costs, so I do not know exactly what position my brother will be in now.
I used to ask him to take charge of the princeās escort and to tell me his every move. In spite of my insistence, Elpine had never been angry with me, knowing that it was something difficult to do, he was always a sweet brother, unlike the naughty Bianca.
ā Whatās the other gift?
ā Oh? Uhā¦ that you have to find out ā his sweet smile gladdened my heart, I adored my brother.
ā All right,Iāll open it.
I laughed and opened the wrapping. The first one, like he said, were beautiful boots for the cold, big and heavy.
ā Wow ā the surprise was huge when I took the wrapping off the second gift.
It was a beautiful shiny braceletā¦
I put it on my wrist immediately, it had a warm immaculate pearl of violet color, with a ruby in the middle?
ā Is it a ruby?
I was so excited, Elpine was the best.
When I looked up from my gift, I could see my brotherās confused expression.
āUhā¦ I donāt remember.
I laughed, I loved my brother, but I had to admit, his memory wasnāt one of the best.
ā Donāt try too hard, we donāt want you to forget things later ā I joked.
Elpine scratched his neck awkwardly and said:
ā Iāll figure it out, I promise.
I nodded and looked at my wrist again, not knowing why, but I really liked it.
ā Try to remember brother, I really loved it.
Elpine smiled shyly.
ā Oh, Iām glad you liked it.
ā And you donāt have to give me two gifts, your presence is gift enough for me.
Elpineās face turned pale.
Did I say something wrong?
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I looked again at the second gift, its wrapping was very different from the first, while one was elegant and aesthetic, this one had a strange and unfunny wrapping, as if two different people had taken care of it.
ā What is the mystery behind these two wrappers? ā I asked.
Elpine shrugged his shoulders, and pretended to pay attention to his breakfast.
Although the situation had become strange, maybe I was overthinking a silly thing, or maybe there was something else behind that wrapper and the beautiful bracelet I couldnāt take my eyes off?