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Chapter 3
Hot tears streamed down Radis’ cheeks.
She could feel the shadow of death looming over her by her bed, waiting for its chance to devour her.
She never once felt alive before, but now she was about to die.
Is she really going to die now?
Like this?
She’d been thrown into the thorny path when she had been born, and since then, she had only been trying to survive. She endured pain enough that she forgot what pain felt like.
All throughout, she just believed that happiness would come one day.
But at the end of the path… was a death like this.
At that moment, Radis felt a violent emotion settling in her heart, something that she had never felt before.
Why must she die after all she went through in that thorny path?
She couldn’t accept that she would only find peace after death.
Time and time again, she believed that happiness would come one day… So she just endured, and endured, and endured.
“…It was all just a pipe dream.”
Radis’ lips trembled.
“I should never have lived for my parents, for my brother… for my family. I should have just lived for myself…!”
Radis felt devastated.
She couldn’t believe she realized such an important thing at the end of her life!
Gradually, it became difficult for her to breathe.
Her heart ached so much.
She couldn’t tell if it was because of physical pain or if it was from sorrow because the grief she felt for herself was so great that it was indistinguishable from her fatal injuries.
Light began to leave her blurred vision.
Radis could no longer move.
Then, a colorful light enveloped her. And the pain went away.
Feeling that this was the end of her life, she slowly closed her eyes.
Radis died with no one by her side.
—
2. The eldest daughter’s second life
Radis Tilrod was the eldest daughter of the Tilrod family.
‘Known as the daughter no one wanted.’
Her parents, Jade and Margaret, were a typical couple brought together by an arranged marriage.
Jade had a woman he loved before he got married—it was Flora, who worked at the flower shop at the village.
Margaret also did not love Jade.
Jade was much older than her, and his leg had been crippled by an accident that had happened in the past. Margaret loathed Jade because he was far from her ideal husband.
However, despite not being an affectionate couple, at the very least they agreed to respect each other as partners…
—If only the first-born child was a son.
“Daughter?”
—If only Jade hadn’t reacted in that way when he heard that the baby was a daughter.
“For God’s sake, a daughter? Damn it, so this is all I could get from the hellish marriage I’ve endured so far?!”
—If only Margaret, who had just given birth, did not hear this.
“Get rid of it.”
Margaret pushed away the baby in her arms as if it were a giant leech.
“Get rid of this damn girl right now!”
And so, the baby was abandoned, and the relationship between Jade and Margaret became irrevocably broken.
* * *
The baby was raised by a maid who did meager chores at the employees’ quarters.
Whenever she was hungry, she would crawl under a goat, which regularly grazed in the backyard, then drink milk from it. Whenever she was sleepy, she would just curl into herself and fall asleep anywhere.
For her, the sun’s warmth was her blanket, and the whistling wind was her lullaby.
The baby would then grow up like one of the tall, sword-like flowers in the backyard.
Naming her after that flower, the maids began calling the unnamed child ‘Radis’ only after she turned two years old.
Margaret could no longer turn a blind eye to her daughter due to the pressure of public attention as the child began to walk on her own two feet, and so she called her into the mansion.
However, just because there was a closer physical distance between them didn’t mean that affection would naturally sprout if there was no seed to nurture in the first place.
Margaret couldn’t understand the child. In her eyes, Radis was like a strange animal.
So Margaret would scream hysterically whenever she would see the child.
“Why are you eating so mannerlessly?”
“Why are your clothes always so dirty? Why, why, why are you peeing on your clothes like that! Ah! I can’t stand it!”
Radis was afraid of her own mother.
Because she was so intimidated, she couldn’t even go out of her room, which was as small as a closet. When the maid brought her meals, Radis would desperately hang onto her apron.
“I think my mother hates me.”
The maid didn’t know what to do. She wasn’t taught to become a nanny—she was simply a maid who did chores. She didn’t know how to treat the Madam’s child who kept clinging to her.
The maid pulled Radis’ hands off the apron.
“No, Young Miss. Milady doesn’t hate you. The Lady is the mother who had you in her belly. There is no parent in the world who hates their child. If she’s mad at you, maybe you did something wrong. You’ll have to make up for it. You have to try.”
The child believed the maid’s words.
Indeed, she believed it with all her heart.
Which was why it took Radis a long time to realize that this was wrong.
Because she tried, and tried again.
She ate properly and cleaned herself up in the bathroom so that her mother wouldn’t be upset anymore.
She tried to be a good child, but it didn’t change anything. Margaret still considered Radis an eyesore and left the child to eat alone.
She played alone as well, because no one cared for her.
If she picked up the branch, it was enough. She could play all day long.
But then, one day.
David, the eldest son of the Tilrod family, was born.
David’s birth was celebrated as if he was a true blessing from heaven. It was nothing like Radis’ birth.
When told that she had given birth to a son, Margaret’s face instantly lit up as if she were the Virgin Mary.
And when Jade heard the news of his son’s birth, he ran out of his mistress’ house and returned home with flowers enough to fill the mother’s room.
Radis was happy because everyone else was happy. Even though she came back to her small room alone and fell asleep with an empty stomach, she was still happy.
David grew up carrying the family’s expectations.
Jade brought in two wet nurses from the capital for the family’s eldest son.
Daavid, who gained weight after breastfeeding from two wet nurses, was such a lovely baby. And Margaret didn’t know what to do because he was so wonderful.
“How can my baby be so cute? David, you’re the only light of my life!”
Radis could only look at David with envy in her eyes.
The year after David was born, Margaret gave birth to the third child, Yurhi. She wanted the third child to be another son, but she wasn’t too dismayed because she didn’t want to see two sons fighting for succession.
“I’m sure you’ll be a beauty!”
“Madam, Young Lady Yurhi resembles you a lot. Look at how beautiful her golden hair and green eyes are!”
Margaret smiled with satisfaction at her third child, who looked a lot like her.
“That’s right. You’re really my daughter…!”
Radis and David both had red hair and black eyes like their father, but Yurhi was different.
“You’re almost like my twin!”
Margaret felt a special kind of affection for Yurhi. For the first time, she felt thrilled for her daughter as she kissed Yurhi’s thick golden locks.
When David was four years old, Margaret brought in a tutor.
The resident tutor who taught one child had a salary comparable to a tutor who taught two children. Only then did Margaret think to let Radis be educated a little bit.
The tutor was a bright woman, but she was weak-minded.
She had trouble dealing with David because he was too hyper and violent. Radis, on the other hand, was calm and studious, so she was easy to teach.
“Madam, Young Lady Radis is very smart. I think she’ll be able to get into the academy at the capital.”
But Margaret was irritated at this.
“She’s two years older than David. It’s no wonder that she looks good compared to him!”
The tutor, who immediately grasped Margaret’s attitude towards her children, stopped praising Radis afterwards.
When David was eight years old, the indifferent Jade opened his mouth.
“We are a family of knights, so David, learn swordsmanship and become a great knight. You better be diligent because the South is infested with demonic monsters.”
After the meal when Jade left, Margaret laughed behind his back.
“He’s a cripple, but still a great knight?!”
Margaret stroked David’s plump cheek, laughing at her husband’s words.
“My baby! You should never become like your father. You should be an amazing knight. Our David will march like a king in shining, silver armor as you ride a white horse. Then, everyone will look up and know you’re my son and I’m your mother!”
After this, Margaret yanked Radis’ arm and stabbed her fingernails into it, then said, “Be quiet and go back to your room!”
Radis did so obediently.
The sword teacher who came to teach David was a man named Armano.
Having never been taught how to use a sword, David had to spend a week holding a wooden sword, but all he did was run away trying to get away from his teacher.
“Ah, such a stupid child. Do you even want to learn how to use that thing?”
At this, David grasped his sword in his hand properly for the first time.
Then, he yelled, hitting Armano’s leg.
“Cripple! Leg crippled idiot!”
Armano could only cradle his forehead in his hand.
Then came Radis, who wielded a branch and played by herself in one corner of the backyard. And with that, Armano immediately saw her potential.
“You’re good.”
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When he spoke to her, Radis turned away with flushed cheeks, stepping back as she hid the branch behind her back.
“No, no. Don’t run away. Why don’t we learn together?”
Armano was just trying to motivate David by using his sister as a rival.
But it was the first compliment that Radis ever heard in her life.
That was their first meeting.