As usual at the dining room, meal started with my father seated next to my mother, and I beside my brother.
And as soon as I told my father I intend to join the Chivalric Order, he raised his voice and rejected it.
My mother silently listened, but my elder brother was surprised.
「Carol, what are you thinking! 」
「I want to become a strong woman who can live by herself. For that purpose, I thought to join the Order and train both my mind and body」
「It would not do for the Duke’s daughter to join the Order! I will never permit such a thing! 」
「There is no rule which states a noble’s daughter cannot enter the Order」
「Even without such a rule, it is unprecedented! Just what on earth were you thinking! 」
Mu~u, my father was strongly objecting.
Even though I thought it was a good idea to train both my mind and body.
And my elder brother was also a member of the Order. There was no reason why I should not join it.
「Dear, please calm down a little」
「……But, how can I simply accept such a thing? 」
「Before that, you should listen to your daughter’s opinion. And if there is an error to her words, it is the duty of the parent to correct her way」
「Mu……」
To my mother’s words, my father who was halfway standing sat back down.
But his face clearly showed his reluctance. I must persuade him somehow.
「Carol」
「Yes, brother」
「Could it be……you only wanted to join the Order in order to be near Captain Wilhelm? 」
「No, that is not true」
Indeed, I wish to be by Wilhelm-sama’s side.
But I wanted to enter the Order for a different reason. I wanted to train and transform myself to the utmost degree.
At any rate.
「I know that the garrison of the women’s Order is in a different place」
「……I see, so you knew」
The women’s Chivalric Order was different from the common Knight Order.
Their main role was the protection of female royalties and noble ladies, as well as the security of the shrine. They would also go into battle in case of emergencies. But their garrison was built in a place different from where the garrison of the Order was stationed.
After all, it did not mean men and women had to train in the same place.
That was why I did not intend to join the Order simply to be near Wilhelm-sama.
I would like to be closer to him if possible, but I should show it through my future actions.
「Then……why did you think you want to join the Order? 」
「There is nothing to bind me now, so I wanted to know what is outside our mansion」
「In that case, it does not have to be the Order」
My father denied so with a sullen face.
But the only place that would fulfill my wish was the Order.
「I am a weak woman. I am emotional as I let my feelings control me. I do not have stamina and am bad at physical activities, and I do not have the means to fight for self-defense. From the age of nine, I have been educated to become the future queen. But those were studies on etiquette, laws, how to act towards the dignitaries from each country, the knowledge to soothe the nation, medicine and pharmacy. I lack general common sense, I finally realized this」
「……But, just because of this」
「The future where I will be queen is already closed. As long as elder brother is alive and well, I do not need to succeed the Ambrose Dukedom. Because I voluntarily withdrew from school, I am not a student either. There is currently nothing left to represent myself」
「……」
My father fell silent to my words.
Bluntly speaking, my father robbed me of my future. It was my father who decided to engage me to His Highness Rayford.
Therefore, he felt responsible.
「……Sorry, but I cannot agree, Carol」
「Brother」
「I can say this because I belong to the Order. You will not last long as a knight with a shallow resolve. There is the matter of harsh training, and human relations with your colleagues. You must also march into battle in case of emergencies. There is even the possibility of losing your life there. And since the Order is a vertical organization structure, Carol must even cast away her position as the Duke’s daughter」
「Yes」
「And most of your colleagues will be commoners. For them, a noble daughter can even be subject to hatred. I can only think of a future where Carol is being bullied in the Order」
Certainly, it might be as my brother said.
I am a noble. A born aristocrat. And a clear difference in status between commoners and nobles could lead to such bullying.
Perhaps, my elder brother had experienced it.
「If you want to train your body, you should simply ask Natalia」
Father then interjected.
「In the first place, Natalia is Carol’s escort. Her combat ability is high. If you are trained by Natalia, you will consequently be proficient in self-defense」
「I also think so, Carol」
「……But」
That would be too easy.
Until now, it had been too comfortable for me. That was why, I wanted to put myself in a harsh environment.
In order to become a 「good woman」 my mother spoke of.
I should push myself.
「Carol」
「Yes」
At that moment.
My mother, who kept silent until then, opened her mouth.
In turn, my father and older brother closed their mouths. My mother was the most superior, so no one could oppose to her words.
「What do you want to do after you enter the Order? 」
「I want to train both my mind and body」
「In that case, you could have your body trained by Natalia and Mother will train your mind. There is no need to join the Order」
Mother was also opposed to it.
What should I do, I’m cornered.
No matter how much I wished for it, it would not come true unless my father and mother approved of it.
「So I will ask, Carol. What is truly the reason you want to join the Order? 」
「I……」
「Think carefully. If your words do not move Mother’s heart, I will not accept it」
The reason I wanted to enter the Order.
It was because I want to train my mind and body.
Also, I wanted to be a 「good woman」my mother spoke of.
Above all, I wanted to be a lady who could support Wilhelm-sama by his side.
No.
That was an excuse.
Training my mind and body, such words were nothing but excuses. I knew all along.
The visit to the Order I had with Wilhelm-sama, I had been excited as if I was watching an opera. That was why I became fascinated.
If I say this to my mother, she might rebuke it.
Mother looked serious.
Then, I should also give it a serious consideration.
「It was really cool」
「……」
「I had the privilege of touring around the Order. I think our peace is due to the strong knights protecting this country」
Yes, I…
Admire all of the knights.
「So, I thought, I want to become a strong woman. The strong ones for me are the knights, that is why I also want to be a strong person. And I believe the quickest way to do that is to join the Order」
It might be merely an aspiration.
But I also wanted to become a strong person.
For that purpose, I could make any effort.
「……Alright then」
「Elizabeth!? 」
「Tomorrow afternoon, head to the garrison of the women’s Order with Mother. The Order has an entry test. Not everyone can enter, and Mother will not lend you any help. So, you have to pass the entry examination on your own. Only then will I approve」
「Elizabeth! What!? 」
「Gilliam, be silent. This is my decision. You closed off Carol’s future once. You are not allowed to interject」
Entry Test.
It would be a tough one for sure. But I would pass.
I might not be good at exercising, but I would make an effort.
I might be weak at fighting, but I would make an effort.
「Carol」
「Yes」
「There is more than one road, so please think it over」
I did not know what kind of exam it was.
However, no matter what trial, I would overcome it.
After that, surely.
I would wait for the day I could support Wilhelm-sama.