CH 62

“My son was about to die, but I……, Uhmm.”

The emotion she was barely pressing in front of the child burst out. Herace had a hard time even breathing because she was afraid of losing Erzen and felt guilty. But she held back because she was in front of the child. She slapped her chest for having difficulty breathing and squeezed the front of Ezekiel’s coat.

“I, I’ll be next to Erzen.”

“…….”

“I want to be next to my son.”

Ezekiel just stared at Herace, who was panting while holding his own clothes. He didn’t talk, he didn’t touch her. He just stared at her, who was struggling not to pour out her emotions, with unknown eyes.

An insensitive face and a distant gaze, it could have been a bad news for her, but Herace could not say anything. She could only look into Ezekiel’s eyes.

Ezekiel was not much different either. Is it because she slapped him on the cheek? His eyes, which contained nothing, looked sadder than her crying.

Frustrated, Herace let go of Ezekiel’s clothes that she was holding. But at that moment, Ezekayel’s expression collapsed and he moved his hand quickly.

“Ah……”

“Herace.”

Ezekiel held her tightly, placing Herace’s hand that was moving away from him again on his chest. And spoke in a languid voice.

“……I wanted myself to be the only one for you as you are for me.”

***

Ben is dead. Without anyone knowing.

It was the gardener who went to pick up some vegetables and found him lying down in a corner of the warehouse. Instead of making a fuss about the blood and immobility of Ben’s head, the old gardener took a glance at Ben’s appearance and informed the old butler of his death.

There were too many bottles and bloody boxes next to the dead Ben. The old butler concluded that he had lost his footing while hiding in a corner and died after hitting his head in a box. Less than half a day later, Ben’s cause of death ended in an accident.

“Ben, a servant working in the castle, died.”

Herace also learned through Helen that Ben had died. She didn’t feel sorry for his death, though she might be a little uncomfortable. It was a completely different attitude from the fact that she used to shed tears a few years ago because she was heartbroken by the small accident of the servants.

“…I see. Thanks for letting me know.”

Herace hated herself for not having even a little sympathy for Ben’s death. But didn’t the man named Ben have strong hostility toward Erzen as well as her?

She was worried about what if Ben’s hostility was expressed toward Erzen like this attempted poisoning. In fact, he said to her face, “It’s a pity that Erzen didn’t die.” Herace, who learned that Erzen was almost poisoned, could not sympathize with the person who wished for her son’s death.

‘I have to protect Ergen.’

Although it was only an attempt, just thinking about the fact that her young son almost reached the threshold of death made her heart stop. Herace recalled the woman who dared to hurt her son, barely pressing the rising vomit.

‘…… she was kicked out.’

Herace’s blue eyes had a cool glow. For Herace, Charlotte’s expulsion was a matter of course. If Charlotte was still in the castle, Herace would have found another way to run away by stealing Erzen.

‘But it was unexpected. She’s the mother of one of his child. She’s the woman he loves. Of course she deserved to be kicked out, but I didn’t expect him to really kick her out……, Why?’

Herace was surprised thinking like that. So she bit her lip.

‘What if he……. He didn’t care for Erzen. Just by the look…… No, it’s a sin that deserves to die. I guess that’s how he ended it. I don’t know. He might have kicked her out but actually took her somewhere.’

In her three years on the run, she saw all sorts of strange things. She saw some men placing their mistresses in an area a little far away for fear of their wives’ strong family. She had such dirty offers a few times, which was surprisingly frequent.

“……I want myself to be the only one for you as you are for me.”

However, she kept thinking about what Ezekiel said to her a few days ago. It was a funny and stupid thought, but Herace felt like he was just craving her love.

She shook her head, thinking it was a ridiculous idea. Suddenly, the appearance of the child who made her mind uncomfortable for a few days came to her mind.

‘But where is Miguel really? I didn’t see her at all…… Did he leave with her? Even Helen doesn’t know…….’

Herace’s mind toward Miguel was still subtle. Herace was grateful but hated the child at the same time. An untidy feeling consumed Herace. Resentful of her narrow mind, she touched her forehead at the thought of coming here.

“Mom.”

“…….”

“Mom!”

How long had he been calling her? Erzen, who was painting with charcoal on the floor under the couch where Herace was sitting, called her. Herace answered only after Erzen grabbed the hem of the dress and shook it.

“Huh? Erzen, what happened?”

“What are you thinking?”

“Nothing. Did you finish drawing already?”

Erzen nodded bravely. Herace smiled at her son’s brighter face, then saw the charcoal black on Erzen’s cheek and took out a handkerchief.

“Your face became as a black puppy. Come here, Erzen. I’ll wipe it for you.”

“Later! Look at Erzen’s paintings first! Will you see?”

“Yes, yes, I will see. Let’s see how good Erzen is at drawing.”

Erzen nodded his head and brought one of the paintings scattered on the floor. Herace, who saw her son’s painting, hugged Erzen and praised him without caring about the soot getting on her.

“Oh, Erzen. You draw really well.”

“I like drawing pictures. It’s fun!”

It wasn’t an empty word that came out of love with her son. Erzen painted a painting quite well considering that he did not even learn it. Maybe he had inherited the talent from Herace, who was excellent at embroidery. There was a crooked line on the unfamiliar charcoal, but everything the child drew was clear human forms.

“Really? Then I’ll have to keep a teacher for Erzen.”

“Really? Then I’ll exchange it with my etiquette teacher. I don’t want my etiquette teacher!”

“You can study manners and painting at the same time. First of all, tell me, is this your Mom…….”

At the center of the paper was a Herace. Her long, winding hair to the waist was enough to recognise her at once.

“That’s right! This is my mother. It’s pretty, right? I drew it exactly the same, right?

“Thank you for drawing your Mom beautifully. Our Erzen is great, kiss.”

“Mom, kiss.”

Erzen smiled and kissed her lightly on the cheek as Herace toyed with his fingers to her lips. Herace’s face shone brighter because the child’s pure warmth was felt as it was. She stroked her son’s head and pointed to the figure next to her in the painting.

“Is this Erzen?”

“Yes! That’s me.”

“Is Ergen this handsome?”

“Mom!”

They had a lot of fun with seeing the drawing together. The sunlight outside the window warmed the room warm as if to bless the two, who were enjoying happiness for the first time in a long time.

Over and over again, Herace praised her son and herself the painting, tilting their heads to the shape of a smaller person in the corner of the paper. Unlike Herace and Erzen, whose features were well drawn, it was difficult to recognize who they were drawn in the corner.

“Who are the people here?”

When asked by Herace, Erzen looked reproachfully as if he didn’t recognize them. And then he pointed at each and every one with his fingers and explained.

“Here, this is Anna and Miguel…… Dad, no, the Mister!”

“……I see.”

Mister, he could see how Ezekiel approached the child. Herace tried to persuade him to call Ezekiel father, but she stopped when she saw the smallest figure in the corner. He was a man who didn’t deserve to be called a father by Erzen.

“But why did you draw him in the corner? There’s a lot of space here. You should draw them next to Erzen and Mom.”

“……I don’t want to.”

“What?”

Ergen shook his head with a dark face when Herace asked, pointing at them in the corner. Herace opened her eyes wide at the appearance of a fairly determined child.

“Erzen likes his mother the most. All I need is my Mom. So I hope my Mom only plays with Erzen.”

Erzen drew a circle around Herace and himself in the painting. Herace, shocked by the child’s words, held Erzen in her arms tightly.

“Erzen, you can’t do that. I like Erzen the best, but I can’t live in the world with you alone. Anna, your brother, your teachers, and…… We have to live with this guy, too.”

“But……”

Erzen’s drooping shoulders were full of grief. The child, who hesitated as if he had something to say, looked up after a long time. Fiddling with Herace’s fingers, he said with tears in the blue eyes.

“…Erzen likes Anna and Miguel. If my Mom tells me to like it, my uncle can like it, too. But I like my mom best. It’s not as good as my mom if everyone else adds up. That’s why Ergen said she only needs her mother. But isn’t she?”

“…….”

“Can’t you just have Ergen?” Do we need someone else? So you’re not with Ergen the whole time? Are you going to leave Ergen alone this time too? Ergen has to cry many times before you come?”

The endless questions were full of worries and anxiety. Harris couldn’t think of anything as if she had been hit on the head with a blunt instrument. When Herace didn’t say anything, the frightened child began to cling to the mother’s face.

“Oh, Mom. Ergen’s fault. I’ll be with the others. I’m not stubborn. So, Mom…….”

“…….”

“Don’t go. Don’t leave Ergen alone, will you?”

Herace held Erzen tightly with trembling hands and rubbed her face against her son’s cheek. The charcoal black on Erzen’s face moved to Herace. However, Harris held Erzen tightly regardless of whether her dress became dirty or her face became dirty.

“No, Ergen. My mom was wrong. My mother also…”

When the mother’s voice was mixed with tears, the child wiped her eyes with her brackish hands and patted her on the back. Herace managed to make up a bright voice and continued by the adult, consideration that came too soon.

“……I don’t need anyone else. All we need is our pretty Ergen.”

***