CH 1

Chapter 1: He grabbed the corner of the horn on his head and turned it five degrees to the left.

***

The author has something to say:

The new novel’s out! Same old rules everyone–

Enthusiastically welcome our two kings for arriving to assist my writing!

This is a western fantasy novel, although the beginning is set in the Demon Realm, the important parts happen in the Human World. This novel has light humor and some occasional depth, it’s a big sweet cookie, welcome to join the pit~

***

Amidst the white hair, the magic horns were like layered rocks. The gem-like fragments shining in them made this pair of horns look even more noble and majestic; the half-open bat wings had blood veins outlined on them by silver wires, warp and weft through the edges of the sharp black wings; above everything, there was a pair of gold and red dotted eyes that were reflecting the colour of the sunset, with vertical pupils.

——The Demon King stood in front of the mirror.

Horns, OK.

Bat Wings, OK.

The expression…a little off.

Ansel corrected his expression in front of the mirror, trying to look more arrogant and cruel. Finally, his expression reached a delicate balance. The white-haired Demon King stood in front of the mirror with an aloof demeanor. As he did not need to travel during the day, his short cloak with dark red lining only reached his waist. He stroked his cape and long hair. The dark golden chain hanging from his wrist showed off his grandeur.

Just looking at this picture, it really looked like the textbook definition of a king tidying up his appearance, but Ansel added a step.

He grabbed the corner of the horn on his head and turned it five degrees to the left.

OK, it’s done.

After doing all this, Ansel pushed open the door of his private bedroom. What he saw was a dull fish eye. When he saw him, the fish eye suddenly glowed strangely.

“Good day, Your Majesty.”

The salted fish turned to him, wearing a straight tuxedo with the iris pattern that was representative of Subabienne City. The posture of this salted fish was upright and standard, like the most standard sideways portrait of aristocrats.

“Vassago, the supervisor of the Devil’s Palace, greets you. I hope you slept well last night.”

This sand sculpture1 scene did not change Ansel’s expression. He nodded lightly and walked ahead past Vassago. Vassago immediately followed, walking sideways at a high speed half a step behind, keeping one eye on Ansel so that he could see Ansel and report to him the affairs of the palace today.

“Here’s the morning news from Subabienne City—”

“The living room has been rearranged to increase the air humidity, and the magic mirror has been arranged in advance to lower the temperature of the central air conditioner to prevent the visitors from the Hell Slime family from melting.”

“For refreshments, the kitchen has prepared lava lizard egg tarts, poisonous mist pudding and unlimited refills of iris tea, flavoured with antidotes.”

As on any other day, in the supervisor’s narration, the awakened His Majesty the Demon King began to understand the news in the palace and the city. He responded with monosyllables or suggested solutions to some problems in just a few words from time to time.

The demon king and the supervisor walked through the high-dome gallery. On the walls on both sides of the gallery, there were murals recording the demon kings of the Eastern Regions of all dynasties, and the brushstrokes were still very new. On the mural, there were demon kings portrayed with horns and arrogant expressions, their dark hair and clothes fluttering under the worship of the demons.

This was Subabienne, the City of Iris, on the Abyss of Floating Flowers in the Demon Realm. Above the boundless sea of black irises, there was a city that was as bright as a pearl. Three hundred years ago, a demon king was born in the city of Subabienne, and it was promoted to the city of a demon king. A huge emblem of the demon king was erected behind the city. Abundant magic power and merchants from all directions are gathered here. The demons and demon races in the city all swore allegiance to the Demon King, and united as one. In just three hundred years, the prosperity of a big city has gradually emerged.

Vassago’s fish mouth was still moving.

“…Last night, someone visited the East Gate of the Magic Mirror and asked the imperial court to judge his rival for touching his horn.”

This time, Ansel’s smooth reply came to a halt.

“…Judgement by the Imperial Court?”

“Yes, Your Majesty.” Vassago thought that His Majesty the Demon King was questioning whether the two young demons were qualified to make such a request. After all, His Majesty the Demon King was very busy. A shrewd expression appeared on his sluggish fish face, and he leaned a little closer to answer the question for His Majesty.

“You know, even though it’s a young demon, the father of one of them has taken the position of deputy general in the legion under your command; and the other’s mother has a certain position in the business world.” He gestured with his fins. The fish’s eyes continued to shine with a strange light, “So, if you are willing to show mercy, both parties will be grateful.”

Ansel: “…”

He understood this truth, but the key to his problem was not this… He touched the horns on his head, making sure that the horns were not slanted, and felt relieved. Those two young demons, wasn’t it just touching their horns, did it really require making a judgement in front of the imperial court?

However, in order to maintain the style of the Demon King, after asking once and getting the answer, it seemed a bit unwise to ask another time. So Ansel pondered for a while and repeated the keywords in a slow tone.

“Touching the horns…”

“Yeah…”

“It’s too much…”

“It’s just perverted, sexual-harassing, crazy!”

“…???”

Ansel still didn’t understand, but he was already at the door to the office.

A judgement made by the imperial court was a judgement made by the imperial court, it would only take an hour or so across the board, and Ansel wasn’t going to delve into it. He thought about his schedule for the day, barely making space in his crowded schedule.

“I will meet with the patriarch of the Hell Slime family at nine o’clock. It will take about two magic hours. The period between eleven to twelve can be left to them.”

Vassago bowed immediately.

“Your Majesty is gracious!”

The people in charge of the internal affairs of the Demon King’s Palace were not allowed to get involved in politics. Vassago greeted him at the door of the office. Ansel walked into the office. Just as he entered the door, a scorching wind blew past Ansel. The young Demon King did not dodge but raised his hand calmly, and the scorching hot wind lightly stopped at his finger and made a shrill sound like that of a flute.

“Good day, Your Majesty.”

The golden red feathers gleamed with fire, and the hell creature in the shape of an oriental phoenix fell on Ansel’s finger, making a series of fine chirping sounds representing comfort and relaxation.

“I hope you had a good rest last night, and I hope that idiot magic mirror didn’t bother you too much.” The Phoenix proudly raised its crest, “After all, Your Majesty needs sufficient energy every day to deal with heavy tasks.”

“Good day, Finni.”

Ansel raised his hand and caressed the beak of the bird, and the bird rubbed his fingers coquettishly. While rubbing his fingers, taking advantage of the convenience of standing on his shoulders, he secretly approached the beautiful white hair – white and smooth, with the aura of a powerful man, it really fascinated the creature of the abyss.

[Cough cough.]

The ignorant cough sounded. The phoenix Finni’s crest feathers stood up a little, but he was still entangled in the Demon King’s fingertips, hoping that he could play with him for a while.

[Cough cough!]

The ignorant coughing became louder and louder, and finally, the sound was so loud that it seemed to cough out the lungs, making it clear that it was intentional. The phoenix immediately rushed towards the mirror standing on the table in a fit of rage, trying to fight against the ignorant mirror.

“Hate! Magic mirror! Hate! Tweet Tweet!”

[I’m working! I am alerting Your Majesty that new information is coming!]

The magic mirror was vibrant, yet not slow in movement. It sharply fastened itself upside down on the table, like a turtle in its shell.

[I heard that the chat software in Human World has such a sound, I just imitated it! It is you who is delaying His Majesty’s work!]

“Tweet! I’m going to break you into eight pieces!”

The scenes of birds fighting turtle mirrors were staged every day, and Ansel had long been accustomed to it. He was sitting behind the Demon King’s desk, and the succubus maid Fuya brought snacks and freshly brewed coffee from the Demon Realm. Ansel closed his eyes and enjoyed the tranquillity of breakfast. He flattened the twisted snacks on the snack tray and took a bite as if he didn’t see or hear the golden phoenix and the tortoise magic mirror make “ping ping pong pong” sounds from one end of the room to the other.

After breakfast, the maid took away the cutlery. Ansel raised his hand and clasped the flying magic mirror. He straightened the now palm-sized magic mirror, pulled the frame around, and quickly pulled the magic mirror into the size of half a human and stuck it to the blank space on the side wall. The mirror reflected the Demon King’s long white hair and delicate eyebrows, and the mirror stayed frozen for a second or two.

[Oh, My Majesty!]

A blurred face slowly floated on the mirror, and a deep magnetic voice came out. This was undoubtedly a genuine magic mirror.

[Every morning I start the machine in the face of your glory, what a blessing! Your white hair is like falling snow that has not been seen in a thousand years in the seventh layer of the abyss of ashes, and your eyes are like…]

Ansel raised his hand slightly, stopping the magic mirror from continuing to sing.

“Let’s stop the routine compliments here, and give me today’s official document.”

Alas, it seemed that His Majesty was still very busy today and had no time to listen to his million-word essay. The magic mirror smugly glanced at Finni, the Phoenix, who did not dare to rush over to disturb him, swallowed back the million-word praise that was about to be exported and began to perform his duties conscientiously. A slit appeared in the mirror, and the sound of the inkjet printer came from inside.

“Click-squeak-click-squeak–” The magic mirror looked a little sad as he spat out the last printed official document.

[Your Majesty, when will you replace a laser printer for me? The magic mirror in the government decree hall showed off to me yesterday. Its new laser printer can print one document per second.]

The Demon King was flipping through the official documents to be dealt with today, without raising his eyelids.

“The laser printer replaced by the government decree hall can’t print in colour. As for the colour laser printer… the technology is not mature, and it is a bit expensive at present. The Demon King’s Palace does not need this additional expenditure for the time being. We will go on the expedition soon. It’s always good if we can save a little money for the military.” The magic mirror suddenly felt sad.

[Your Majesty, you have reduced the expenditure of the Demon King’s Palace too much. Look, your three meals, your clothes, your carriage…Which demon king didn’t have a dozen or twenty luxury carriages driven by Nightmares when he was in office? Which demon only eats snacks and coffee for breakfast? Which demon still uses an inkjet printer?]

The more the magic mirror said, the more saddened it became. It was true that Subabienne City, as a new demon king city, had only just calmed down from the war in the past few hundred years, and it was still recovering. The Demon King Ansel issued a post-war decree, which not only reduced taxes, but also controlled the expenditure of the Demon King’s Palace, and invested most of the money in the city’s construction.

But… but…

His Majesty the Demon King was too uncorrupted and restrained, which made all the demons in the city feel extremely distressed. Demons liked luxurious enjoyment and paid attention to personal feelings. Ansel was the first in the world to be a selfless demon king. The magic mirror even felt that His Majesty Ansel was sent by the Demon God to save the demons in the Eastern Region. He was not moody, highly sensitive and highly disciplined, but also very powerful, simply the perfect demon king!

His Majesty the Demon King, who was “devoid of emotion and anger”, was browsing today’s official documents at a high speed, and suddenly, he saw this one –

“Western Region News: His Majesty Saros announced that he does not approve of the new trade regulations of Subabienne City, calling them all a pipe dream.”

“Crack”, the quill made from the feather of the Demon Owl Realm cracked in half in the Demon King’s hands.

It’s – you – again – Sa – ro – s -! ! !

Translator’s note:

Sand sculpture (沙雕) is generally used humorously to describe weird or stupid but funny behaviours or lame jokes.