Chapter 039: Alex and the Demon Lord in the heart
âAh, a message came. Letâs see here⌠âThe black haired one there is HikaruââŚ?â (Alex)
Alex tapped something in midair and said that.
I ended up looking at Alex unconsciously from that.
The relaxing atmosphere until now made a complete turn.
Piercing gazes and sneers I felt were coming from somewhere.
Cold sweat ran down my back.
The two party members of Alex were also looking dubiously over here.
They are looking over here with eyes as if saying âwho is this guy?â, and my body is paralyzed I canât even move.
At some unknown point in time, it seems I have begun feeling a strong fear towards gazes.
I am probably growing blue and red in an amusing way.
Even though I dipped in hot water, my whole body feels cold.
My fingers are trembling, and even though I want to run away, my body isnât responding.
âHikaruâŚ? You are that Hikaru? The chinese guy?â (Alex)
Looks like he didnât hear about me and Nanami from messages, he spoke to me normally.
âŚNo, thinking about it normally, thereâs no way he didnât.
It might just be me being too self-conscious here, but I was the highest ranked in viewers among the 1,000 Chosen. Those numbers wouldnât have been possible without the matter of Nanami.
Even so, I donât have the courage to throw that topic in.
More importantly, I am currently in a mental state where it would be hard to even make simple responses here.
ââŚI am japanese.â (Hikaru)
When I answered that, Alex made a happy expression. He closed the distance to me.
âHoh, a japanese person! This is my first time meeting a Chosen! I am Jack Alexander Fox! I came from Ontario, Canada. I am mostly called Alex.â (Alex)
âI didnât know left and right being suddenly sent to a parallel world, but I was shocked that it was really a world like those of movies. Ainât that the same for you too, Hikaru?â (Alex)
âI thought I would be fine going to a place where I donât have a single acquaintance, but it was actually pretty rough. But I got messages from my friends saying I can just go to the guild and make comrades, and I am somehow managing like that. Are you alone, Hikaru?â (Alex)
âWell, yeahâŚI guess.â (Hikaru)
âI see. They do say japanese people are stoic after all.â (Alex)
I could see pure happiness as if he had met someone of the same village from that friendly smile of his.
But I couldnât take that sincerely.
âI had a lot of friends in our world that wanted to go visit Japan. You have a lot of anime and manga, right?â (Alex)
âWellâŚyeah.â (Hikaru)
âHmâŚ? You donât look well. Are you okay?â (Alex)
âY-YeahâŚno problems.â (Hikaru)
The 3 were looking at me.
And most of all, Alexâs viewers and my viewers together definitely make up several millions of people.
Everyone is watching this encounter with amusement.
When I think about that, I canât even have a conversation.
âOi oi, are you from the same place as Alex? You said your name was Hikaru, right? He said he came from a parallel world, but is that true?â
Even his companions were joining the conversation now, and I was honestly at my limit.
âSorryâŚI have business to attend to. Can we talk about this at another time?â (Hikaru)
âOh, is that so? Sorry for suddenly speaking to you. Thereâs no people here that I can talk about Earth with, you see. I come here every now and then, so letâs talk again!â (Alex)
Alex was a good guy till the end.
I felt embarrassed about myself and left the public bathhouse as if running away.
No, I actually did run away.
I left the public bathhouse, returned to the inn, and lied down there as if collapsing onto it.
(I should have spoken more normally.) (Hikaru)
I didnât kill Nanami. I was suddenly chosen to be transferred to the parallel worldâŚno, you could even say I was dragged into it. To put it bluntly, I am a victim.
Thereâs no need for me to be so distant.
Even though I could have made proper conversation.
He could have understood my circumstances.
And yet, I ended up running away as if I felt guilty about something.
âAaaaaaaahhh!!â (Hikaru)
Even though it was a Chosen from Earth I finally met.
Even though he was a comrade who faced the same hardship as me.
I ended up escaping that place while speaking practically nothing.
My heart was churning at the thought of speaking with a stranger, and most of all, the moment I was bathed by attention, I lost my sense of self.
The moment those rude gazes of strangers began gathering at me, my vision flickered, and my head went completely blank.
My heart rampaged, blood rushed my head, the tips of my limbs went numb, and just standing there was taking my all.
It was impossible to speak properly there.
Even so, if I had pushed myself to talk there, I am sure tears would have fallen before words came out.
It must also be because I hadnât prepared myself mentally.
It was sudden, and I barely managed to hide it.
Bright places, and righteousness.
I wasnât like this before coming to this world.
He should know that I am being suspected of killing my childhood friend.
And yet, he spoke to me as if he didnât know about it.
Did we meet by coincidence?
Or maybe he was being notified of my every action, my location at all times, and came to check me out while pretending it was a coincidence?
My imagination was running in bad directions.
Thereâs no way I can see the truth with just that degree of a conversation.
I donât know, but I am being hated, and all the Chosen can become my enemies; that alone, I know.
I am aware that I have become a pessimist.
I donât know when I was warped in this manner.
Was it at the time when I got out of the forest and read those horrible messages for the first time?
Or maybe when I hid in the dungeon, scavenged for bodies, and sold them to the black market?
Was it when I sold those Spirit Stones that were once humans, and bought sustenance with that money?
Or was I always that kind of person?
Anyways, everyone is laughing at this sight of me.
They are all wishing for me to fail.
When I was laughing weirdly, when I was awkwardly respondingâŚ
Waiting for me to die pathetically.
Laughing, saying âDonât try talking as if you are on the same standing even though you are Hikaruâ.
âYou are a small man that has been hiding in the darkness and living sneakily in the dungeon. An inferior being thatâs different from the others that are living a proper life, right?â, they would say while laughing mockingly.
They are all just delusions that I myself am just creating.
And yet, voices were coming from the depths of my heart.
<<No matter what excuses you give, it is the truth, right? You may cry as much as you want about how this truth is wrong, but that would be a lie. You can lie all you want, butâŚyou understand it yourself.>>
And thatâs how I just freeze.
I was enveloped by a pitch black something in the depths of my heart, and I ended up not being able to move at all. I lose my ability to speak.
A demon lord is living in my heart.
I should have spoken more.
Alex might have properly listened to me.
He might have been able to explain to the viewers.
Even if he knew about the incident, he might have believed me.
He might have become my friend.
âŚNo, my thinking in that way in itself might be my weakness.
What if he believes me and the situation worsens?
I donât even know about Alex either. He might have only looked like a nice guy because it was our first meeting.
He is a Chosen, so he must be strengthening himself with Points too. He could snap me with his arms like a twig.
With this meeting, countless messages about me will reach him, and his mind might change into seeking my death.
ââŚYeahâŚâ (Hikaru)
After tossing and turning on the bed for a whole hour, my mind steadily grew calmer.
Acting that way was fine.
Thereâs nothing but risks in Chosen acquaintances.
I was about to make the wrong choice from my desire for human interaction.
I hear laughing from somewhere.
Someone is laughing at my foolishness.
I am the fool, Kurose Hikaru.