After that, I had a little more conversation with him and concluded our meeting. Alicia might come back, and I couldn't keep him, a guest of the mansion, in the dirty warehouse any longer.
Ethan, who was checking the time and getting up, asked me.
"By the way, who is Anne? It seemed like you were calling Paula that."
"Oh, it's my name."
"When did you change your name?"
"…It just happened. Please call me Anne now."
"I like Paula better."
"I beg you."
E. T. H. A. N. I emphasized my last words, enunciating each letter. Although he made a displeased face, Ethan nodded.
"Are you not going to tell Vincent?"
"Yes."
"Why not?"
Why not….
"Because I don't want him to know I was that maid back then."
"Why? It would be good if he knew. Vincent, by the way, didn't seem to recognize Paula. That's strange…."
Ethan crossed his arms and fell into thought. In fact, it wasn't strange at all.
"Did you lie about something?"
"…."
His sudden question made me hesitate. Ethan looked at me with a flash in his eyes.
"Surely, you didn't fake your face, did you?"
"…."
"Paula."
"I think you'll imagine me differently."
At my answer, Ethan sighed deeply. Rarely does he frown so severely. His gaze, furrowed brows, and the way he looked at me seemed to scold me.
I couldn't answer. It wasn't that I was wrong, but it was just too obvious. How could I honestly tell him about this face?
"Mr. Ethan. I don't want the master to know who I am. I just want things to stay as they are. Forever."
"Wouldn't it be a good memory for him too?"
"Seeing my face, he would be disappointed. Everyone who has seen my face has been surprised. Sometimes, they even get angry. The word 'ugly' has always followed me like a shadow."
"…."
"Mr. Ethan. I'm leaving soon. I'm a temporary hire, and the period is almost over. Once it ends, I won't come back here. I won't meet the master again either. Since we're going to part anyway, it's better if he doesn't know."
"Really? You really don't want Vincent to know?"
"Yes. I don't want him to know."
It could be a good memory for someone. It could stay beautiful.
I'm glad Vincent can see now. Though I feel sorry for Ethan, I thought this after seeing him. If he had continued to be locked in his room or remained blind after I left, I might have wanted to stay by his side.
I could open up because he was doing well.
"I want to be remembered as someone with a pretty face, good memories, and past recollections… I want to be remembered like that."
"…."
"The master wouldn't want to see me either. I'd be a blemish on his life. And he doesn't need someone like me anymore."
"Paula, you really haven't changed."
His words felt like a rebuke. We've changed, but you haven't. It's true. Change is unfamiliar and difficult for me.
Five years ago, even though I lived a life like eating a cake laced with poison, I didn't change. In the end, I found myself struggling in abject poverty again, and even though the devil's child was gone, I couldn't escape this hell.
Changing my name and cutting my long fringe to reveal my face didn't mean I had changed. If my fringe grows back, it can cover me again. Change is something bigger, something that can turn my life upside down in an instant.
Like the man who lost his sight and was locked in his room but mustered the courage to step outside again. Like the man who, despite the fear of death, tried to grasp hope with his own hands. Like the woman who, despite losing her love, lived on bravely. Like Ethan, who silently accepted the sacrifice of his friend and the deaths of his brothers.
I couldn't do that. Only I couldn't.
"I hoped you'd live a happier life."
"I am happy."
"Truly happy people don't feel ashamed of themselves."
I smiled bitterly. This is why I disliked Ethan. Perceptive people are adept at uncovering others' inner thoughts. He easily dug up what I had hidden deep, even from myself. Look at this. This is what you've been hiding.
"If that's how Paula feels, I don't want to force you."
"Thank you."
"But, who knows what the future holds."
What? At his meaningful words, I looked up at Ethan, who smiled slightly. It was a rather sinister smile. A sense of foreboding rose in me. I pleaded with him not to do anything, but he just smiled.
His small face, with round eyes, tilted to the left. Then it swayed to the right and tilted back to the left. His bright, purple eyes revealed curiosity. His chubby cheeks rose and then stretched out. I examined his small face carefully.
"Why? Is there something on your face?"
"No, nothing…."
Despite staring intently, he pretended not to notice and brushed Robert's pants. At first, I didn't feel much, but now my gaze kept drifting to him.
This little master is Violet's son. Once I realized it, I could see the resemblance. His light golden hair, purple eyes, and unpredictable personality. Looking closely, if Violet had a son, he would definitely look like Robert.
After finishing the preparations, I headed to the living room with Robert and the nanny. Joel and Vincent, along with Ethan, were already seated at the table, chatting noisily. They seemed quite happy.
Robert ran up to them.
"It's Ethan!"
"Hi, kid."
Ethan smiled slightly, picked up Robert, and patted his head. Unlike when he greeted me, his attitude was strangely calm. Robert giggled.
"You've grown a lot since I last saw you."
"Yeah, I've grown! I'm not a kid anymore!"
"You still look like a kid to me."
"No—"
Robert shook his legs in protest. Then he raised his hands to show how much he had grown, and Ethan patted his head again. Maybe because he's Violet's son, Ethan seemed to get along well with Robert, acting playfully.
Robert then looked around as if searching for something.
"Why?"
"Where's your mother?"
"Your mother couldn't come."
Seeing his face fall, I realized he must have been looking forward to it.
To lighten the mood, Ethan mentioned he had brought something interesting. When he picked something up from the sofa, Robert showed interest. It was a set of small stone pieces shaped like animals.
Wow. Robert's face lit up as he took the stone pieces and examined them. Each piece was a different animal. The gloom on Robert's face disappeared as he kept looking at the stones. I was impressed. Vincent is good with Robert, but so is Ethan.
Ethan glanced at me standing by the door. Seeing his lips curve, I bowed my head slightly.
"Have Robert sit over here. Audrey, please bring some milk."
"Yes."
Audrey poured milk into a cup and placed it in front of Robert. He eagerly picked up the cup and sipped it. The nanny took care of him from the side.
I stood behind the nanny and helped Audrey. Alicia held the teapot and filled Vincent's cup first.
"Be careful, it's hot."
Her voice was gentle. As she poured the tea, Alicia glanced at Vincent. Vincent, in turn, glanced at her and picked up his cup.
Joel chattered about the tea, mentioning how hard it was to find and how good it is for the skin. Vincent and Ethan occasionally nodded but didn't say much. The one who reacted to the explanation was Alicia. 'Wow! Really? Where did you get it?' Her exaggerated response seemed more about wanting to join the conversation than genuine interest in the tea. Audrey quickly gave her a look, and Alicia had to retreat with a disappointed face.
Come to think of it, where's Johnny? I looked around and then took the dessert plate Audrey handed me, placing it on the table. Robert's eyes sparkled. When I cut the dessert into bite-sized pieces and offered them, he quickly took one and smiled. His quick action in front of food was adorable, and I smiled softly.
Then I met Vincent's gaze. I immediately wiped the smile off my face and bowed my head. Even so, I could still feel his eyes on me. Keeping my head slightly turned, I put down the dessert plate and saw Ethan sitting next to me.
His stiff face was unfamiliar. There was no trace of a smile on his noble face as he sipped his tea.
Looking at his unreadable expression, I remembered his words from last time. Why does this feel ominous? I glared at him, and he looked up, his stiff face softening slightly. No, he was smirking.
Ethan's lips curved.
'Your gaze is intense.'
'Don't do anything.'
I mimicked his lip movement and handed him a cookie. It meant, 'Eat this and shut up.' Sensing my desperation, Ethan's eyes twinkled as he took the cookie.
'Who knows.'
But he still added an ominous comment.
Glaring fiercely, I watched as Ethan, after taking a bite, couldn't hold back his laughter and snorted. He was definitely teasing me. How could he find it so amusing to make me feel uneasy? Seeing his previously stiff face now breaking into a smile, I couldn't help but mutter a silent curse.
Somehow, he noticed and sprayed his tea. The hiss was the price for making someone's head hurt.
"Oh dear. Are you okay?"
"Cough, cough, yeah. I'm fine."
"Be careful. The tea is hot."
Joel, worried, handed him a handkerchief. Ethan wiped his mouth, but I had already seen him drooling. Suppressing the urge to mock him, I stepped back calmly. When I looked up again, Vincent was looking at me.
My heart sank. Did he see me just now? Worried, I bowed my head again. Maybe it's because I'm happy to see him after so long, but I keep making mistakes. Fidgeting with my clasped hands, I waited for this time to pass quickly.