"It's not that I'm throwing it away. I just want to put it somewhere safe for a while."
"That is throwing it away."
"I'm not throwing it away."
She shook her head, unable to believe him. What if he forgot about it? What if he felt relieved by getting rid of something troublesome?
She couldn't trust him. He had always wanted to get rid of her from the beginning. This might be an opportunity for him to send her away. To the upper class, the value of a servant was so trivial.
If he ordered her, she couldn't refuse. She knew this, but knowing it didn't make her any less reluctant. She didn't want to be alone. She shook her head and tried to pull her hand away. She didn't want to hear any more.
He tightly held her hand as she tried to pull away, then pulled her into his embrace. The distance that had grown between them suddenly closed, and her body was drawn into his arms. He wrapped his arms around her back and held her tightly.
She buried her face in his chest. The sound of his heart beating loudly echoed in her ear. She was trembling with anxiety. So was he.
"Trust me. I won't throw you away."
He whispered softly in her ear.
"I don't want anyone else to get hurt. But it will be difficult. That's why I want to keep you from getting involved. I can't protect you if you stay by my side. So... I want to send you to a safe place."
"..."
"I'll bring you back to my side. I promise."
"..."
"Promise me."
His voice trembled. He reassured her as if trying to comfort her.
Vincent is right. If the person who stabbed Lucas saw me, I am indeed in danger. Living is more important than dying. He is trying to protect me. Knowing this, and understanding his sincerity, I couldn't say no.
"Do you remember when I told you to stay by my side?"
"...Yes."
"Keep that promise."
Her face twisted at his words, but she forced a smile. A weak laugh escaped her lips. She raised both hands and clutched his back, then hugged him tightly.
"Don't forget me."
"Okay."
"If you forget, I'll haunt you for the rest of my life."
"Alright."
A laugh echoed in her ear. Worried he might take it as a joke, she emphasized again.
"I'm serious."
"I know."
Saying this, Vincent turned his head. The wind from outside the window blew his hair. She leaned her face against his chest again, afraid her tears might wet his chest.
They stayed like that for a long time. She had a premonition. This was really a farewell.
* * *
The preparations progressed quickly. Vincent instructed Isabella to arrange for her to go to Novelle's villa as soon as possible.
During this time, there was nothing for her to do. She just continued to serve him as usual or stayed locked in her room. Ethan didn't come after that day, and the mansion, without Lucas, felt eerily empty.
Perhaps because of this, she often felt dazed. While mopping the floor, she would stare blankly out the window when Vincent suddenly said,
"Shall we take a walk?"
It was an unexpected suggestion. Sensing her puzzled gaze, Vincent added that it was because the weather was nice. He had recently been regaining a healthy lifestyle.
"Do you not want to?"
"No, let's go."
She finished mopping the floor and tidied up the cleaning tools. After helping him prepare for the outing, she brought his cane. Recently, he had been practicing walking alone with the cane. The cane was used to feel the surroundings and detect obstacles. So, she handed him the cane, but he set it aside and extended his hand.
"Why are you holding out your hand?"
"You need to support me."
"Me?"
"Yes, you."
He opened and closed his hand once. It seemed like he was urging her to take it quickly, so she happily took his hand.
Holding his hand and leading him, she was reminded of the times they used to take walks. Given the recent situation, they hadn't even been able to read books, let alone take walks. Naturally, they hadn't enjoyed tea time either.
"Always the forest, huh."
"There's nowhere else to go."
"That's true."
He stared straight ahead. Although he couldn't see, he seemed to enjoy the walk by feeling the outside air, the textures, and the sounds.
As they walked along the path that stretched into the forest, she asked,
"What's at the end of this path?"
"There will be a wall."
"Only a wall?"
"Only a wall."
"Only a wall... "
Walking this path, all you can see is a wall. The words came out in a murmur, leaving a bitter taste in her mouth. Despite his blindness, he had mustered the courage and endured the effort to walk together, only to find a dead-end wall at the end. It was like her own future.
Feeling depressed, she lowered her head. For a while, there was no conversation between them. Suddenly, he pulled her hand.
"Let's go back to where we were last time."
"Where?"
"The place you said was so beautiful that you wanted to jump into it."
The place so beautiful that she wanted to jump into it...
"The flower field where the white flowers were in full bloom?"
Vincent nodded.
"Do you remember where it is?"
"Sort of."
"Then let's go."
He said it readily, but she hesitated. The image of Lucas leading them to that flower field came to mind. She remembered his excited face, eager to show her the place. And the moment his face twisted.
A suffocating fear welled up again. Noticing her silence, he gripped her hand tightly.
"Calm down."
"But—"
"That boy must have taken you there hoping you would be happy. So that even after he was gone, you could come here whenever you needed to soothe your heart. Respond to his feelings."
"How do you know that?"
"Because that's the kind of person he was."
Vincent forced a smile. But it was a gentle one. His face, now fuller, looked good.
"Let's go. I want to go."
"Okay, let's go."
Ultimately, she was persuaded by his words. She firmly held his hand and turned around. She took slow, heavy steps. Even though they were just going to see a flower field in the forest, she felt strangely afraid. Her steps slowed even more, but he followed without complaint.
They walked deep into the forest, pushing aside branches and navigating the uneven ground. Without a path, they had to rely on memory.
As they went deeper into the forest, the white flower field came into view. The flower field was as fresh and beautiful as if time had stopped.
"We're here."
"I know. The smell of grass has become intense."
"Usually, people say it smells good."
He just shrugged. His attitude, as if to say, "If you think so, who cares what others say," was familiar and comforting. She laughed briefly and led him into the flower field.
The flower petals danced in the wind, as beautiful as snow. Tilting her head back, she watched the petals rise and fall like snow.
"What's falling?"
"Flower petals. They're falling like snow."
Vincent brushed the petals off his shoulders and head. His expression was blank, showing no emotion. What a cold-hearted person.
"At times like this, you should say it's beautiful."
"Is it beautiful?"
"Yes, very beautiful."
"If you say so."
She looked at him in surprise. His expression was still blank. He didn't look around or enjoy the sensations like he did on the forest path. Then she realized he hadn't really wanted to come here.
"Are you saying you came here for me?"
"You've been unusually down since that day."
"Why?"
Not why he thought so, but why he was suddenly being so affectionate. Why was he paying attention to this? It wasn't like him.
Vincent slowly let go of her hand and faced her. Even though he couldn't see, he looked directly at her. His emerald eyes seemed to see her, standing a step away, clearly and steadily.
His bangs, which had been covering his eyes, were blown apart by the wind, revealing her confused eyes. White petals drifted between them.
"Are you scared?"
He asked. Normally, she would have asked, "What do you mean?" But she understood what he was asking.
"I'm scared."
"Me too."
Her eyes widened. She expected him to mock her for being a coward, but his response was unexpected.
He laughed briefly, as if knowing her surprised reaction.
"You get speechless when you're flustered."
"..."
As he said, she was so flustered that she couldn't speak.
While she was fumbling, he stopped laughing and extended his hand. A white petal fell onto his palm. He closed his hand, felt the petal, then opened it and let it fly in the wind. The petal from his hand brushed against her skin, tickling her.
"Soon, I might have to announce my condition. It means I need to get used to the possibility of someone attacking me with a knife or a gun. It might be better that way. Sometimes, words can be more cruel than actions."
"..."
"I knew I couldn't live like this forever. I'm a count. I can't keep living in a room. I have many people to be responsible for. But it's hard to accept. I'm scared too. Just thinking about facing people makes my hands and feet tremble. Is that pathetic