My hands and feet were swollen from the cold weather. I rubbed my reddened cheeks to withstand the chill. I would huddle up and return home, where my father would greet me. That devil's spawn.
I didn't know why he hit me. I became accustomed to being hit without knowing the reason. Huddling up was the only resistance I could offer. Sometimes my younger siblings would try to stop him and end up getting hit instead.
Alicia, however, would glance at me and turn away. She was the only one among my siblings who never got hit. My father doted on her, fearing that any blemish might mar her delicate face, so he could sell her for the highest price someday. But Alicia didn't know this. That's why she was so haughty.
As the people who held my hand one by one disappeared, I became able to endure pain and sorrow calmly. I no longer needed tears. The moment I realized this, I woke from a nightmare. Then I couldn't fall back asleep.
I huddled in a corner and sat down. Leaning against the wall, I heard the familiar groans. I closed my eyes, taking in the faint sounds.
He is also fighting beyond that wall. I find comfort in his groans. Even though he might get angry, I sometimes wake from a nightmare and listen to his groans. I rub my reddened cheeks against the cold wall and shed tears to push away the fear. I realize I am not alone.
"Does that mean the House of Lord Christopher made you like this?"
"Yes."
"Does Lord Christopher know this?"
"Ethan doesn't know. He still doesn't know."
What did you mean by that? I was so surprised that I stammered, but the person in question was very calm.
"I'm just guessing. But I'm not sure. That's why I wanted to ask you. Whether my House really made me like this."
"So you gave him an answer?"
"I didn't ask. I couldn't ask."
"Why, why not?"
"Because I'm not in good condition."
I was speechless.
"Even though he seems cold, he is affectionate to his people. He couldn't bear to aggravate my injuries, which are already filled with fear and blindness."
Only then did I understand why he had been avoiding Ethan. But at the same time, I had a question. How did you know all this?
"Why don't you tell Lord Christopher?"
"Because I don't have to."
Vincent lifted his eyelids. His emerald eyes, still cloudy, gazed resolutely into the air.
"Sometimes secrets should remain secrets."
"......"
The conversation ended there. He fell silent, and I didn't ask any more questions. A warning in my heart told me not to ask further. Since then, I never mentioned that conversation again, and he never added any more explanations.
But that doesn't mean I'm not scared. Closing my eyes, I feel the weight of the burden on my hunched shoulders every night.
Secrets should remain secrets.
Pretend you didn't see, pretend you didn't hear, and don't reveal anything.
Recalling the conditions I had to follow to work as a servant here, I focused on serving my lord today.
"Lord, please wake up."
The round shape on the bed stirred. But it didn't come out. Even though he was sensitive to sounds and must have known I entered early, he didn't. I frowned and pulled back the sheet.
"You need to eat."
As his face was revealed, he scowled deeply, expressing his dissatisfaction. His face was drenched in sweat. It seemed he had a nightmare last night and was overworked all night.
"Since you sweated a lot last night, it's better to take a bath first."
The musty smell in the room had disappeared, and the number of scattered items on the floor had decreased. The room, once filled with darkness, now welcomed light as part of the daily routine. Recently, he had been eating well and leading a somewhat normal life. But he was still uncooperative and wary when it came to touching him.
"Get out."
He clutched the end of the sheet that had been taken from him. I didn't back down, applying force to my grip on the sheet.
"I've prepared the bathtub."
At first, bathing him was unimaginable. But due to our strange power struggle and the changes over time, I could now make such requests.
"Please, just leave."
Vincent let out a deep sigh. His movements in pulling the sheet were tinged with irritation. He seemed to be in a bad mood today.
"I'll help you."
"Like last time?"
"That, that time... I'll check the water temperature."
I retreated to the bathroom. I had no excuse for the incident where I dropped him in the bathtub last time.
I dipped my hand in the water to check the temperature, hesitated for a moment, and then returned to the bedroom, where Vincent was lying on the bed blankly. As I gently touched his body, he squirmed. Now, this was a familiar reaction, so I ignored it and lifted his limp arm to wrap it around my shoulder. I then led him to get up and step down from the bed.
Despite his harsh words, he was unusually well-behaved today. So, I could bring him to the bathtub more easily than expected.
I guided his hand to the bathtub, and he fumbled to touch it. As I quickly undid the buttons of his shirt to help him bathe, he stopped me.
"I can do it myself, so get out."
"Really?"
Surprised by his unexpected cooperation, I asked. He nodded and slowly began to undress. Staring blankly at him, I realized he had already taken off his shirt and dropped it on the floor.
What's going on? I thought he would try to overturn me a few times.
I quickly bent down to pick up the shirt he had taken off. As he was about to take off his pants, he suddenly stopped.
"If you don't leave, I'll overturn you."
"Understood."
Tsk. I clicked my tongue softly and stood up. Vincent's face turned grim, as if he had heard me. Expecting him to say something, I placed the clothes for him to change into on the floor and quickly left the bathroom.
And I pretended to walk around, making thudding footsteps. Gradually reducing the loudness of my steps and stopping, I soon heard the sound of water. He had entered the bathtub.
What's going on? I thought he would try to overturn me a few times.
Surprised by his cooperative attitude, I focused on the tasks at hand. I needed to clean the room while he was bathing.
As usual, I put the scattered items back in place, changed the bed sheets, pillowcases, and blankets, and then dusted and swept the floors and furniture. Feeling satisfied as the room became cleaner, I headed to the bathroom.
Vincent, who had finished bathing, was changing his clothes. I took a towel from a nearby drawer and dried his dripping hair. I quickly rubbed his head with the towel to remove the moisture, and he accepted it calmly.
"I've changed the sheets. You can go now."
Once his hair was somewhat dry, I supported his arm and led him to the bed, where I helped him sit down. I noticed that the buttons on his shirt were misaligned.
I thought he had dressed well today. I smiled and realigned the buttons, starting from the bottom.
"Meal time."
"Huh? Ah, yes. Meal time. I'll prepare it."
I hurriedly approached the door and fetched the silver tray. Holding it, I hesitated for a moment, then knelt in front of him. Placing the tray on my knees, I spooned some porridge and brought it to his mouth. Vincent began to eat the porridge calmly.
Although he had a bout of indigestion last time, he was now emptying the bowl. I was pleased and watched him eat with satisfaction. He cleaned the bowl as usual. I thought it was now safe to prepare food with small lumps.
After eating all his food, including the medicine, Vincent lay down on the clean bed. He pulled the sheet up to his chin and turned toward the wall.
"Good night."
"Yes, I'll wake you up at lunchtime."
I left the room, satisfied, carrying the laundry and empty dishes.
"Lord has been eating well lately."
"Yes, he emptied the bowl today too."
I showed the empty bowl to the cook. The cook seemed moved and sniffled. The kitchen maid, who was helping him, joined our conversation, delighted.
"Maybe we can start giving him food with grains."
"I'll prepare something hearty tomorrow!"
I nodded and left the kitchen. Then I went outside the annex to wait for Renika.
But she wasn't alone today. Isabella was with her.
"Lord's condition seems to have improved recently."
"Yes, he's eating well, and now he bathes on his own. He still throws things and gets angry, but it's much less than before. Last time, he even walked a few steps away from the bed."
I spoke softly, only for Isabella to hear, telling her that he had stepped outside the room, even if just for a moment. I could see the surprise on Isabella's face when she heard this. Although she didn't show a big reaction, I knew that raising her eyebrows was her way of expressing surprise.
"Great progress. Thank you for your hard work. Please continue to take good care of him."
"Yes."
After the brief conversation with Isabella, I approached Renika. She took the laundry basket from me and handed me a basket with new sheets and clothes. After exchanging greetings, I returned to the annex.
Today, Lord was cooperative, so I had more free time than usual. Normally, the time would fly by with our struggles. After a day of physical exertion with him, I would be so exhausted that I wouldn't have the energy to explore the annex. So, this was my first time looking around the annex.
The annex was generally clean. I was told that the main house maids came at regular intervals to clean it. This way, I could focus solely on Lord without worrying about other tasks, which Isabella had told me shortly after I arrived.
Thanks to this, my cleaning area was limited to Lord's room. Moreover, I stayed in the room next to his, and the only places I went were the kitchen to fetch meals and the back door to hand over laundry.
This is what it looks like. I looked around the spacious interior, which I could never fully explore even if I walked around all day, and the high ceiling that seemed unreachable even if I tilted my head back. I was excited to explore the mansion, as it was my first time here, and everything was new and interesting.
As I climbed the long central staircase, I examined each framed portrait on the wall.