I wondered what would be good, but in fact, no concrete ideas came to mind. Show him that I'm trying, he said. But what does that even look like? It's such a difficult thing to describe.
Should I show him that I eat well, sleep well, and go to the bathroom properly? No, even if I try, if he doesn't recognize it as effort, it won't count as 'showing effort,' right? So, I need to show him an effort he can understand... It felt like a word game.
"I can't. It's impossible."
"There is a way. Come on, take my hand."
I stretched out my hand to reach him a little more. But he didn't move. I urged him again. Hurry up. Then he hesitantly extended his hand, and as soon as it touched my fingertips, his body flinched.
After a few tries, his hand finally landed in my palm. I gripped it tightly, afraid he might run away again.
"It's okay. I'll hold on tight."
The effort Ethan spoke of. I wasn't sure exactly what it meant, but I decided to think about it simply. I got a hint from what Ethan said when we made a bet in the study.
'If the maid can get Vincent to take even a step out of his room, I'll grant you one wish.'
So, he wants to see that. Then I just need to show him. Walking out of the room on my own, without anyone's support, just like when I could see.
Of course, it won't be easy.
That's why I'm coaxing and encouraging Vincent now.
I took a step back. He didn't move at all. I took another step back, but he only leaned forward, not taking a step. I took another step back. He looked down and finally got out of bed.
Thud, the sound of his foot touching the ground was like the sound of an angel's trumpet.
"Slowly, like a baby taking its first steps, one step at a time."
"Don't exaggerate."
Even as he said that, he looked determined just to take one step.
After a moment's hesitation, Vincent took a step with a resolute face. I also took a step back, moving objects that might obstruct his path to the side.
"Yes, you're doing well."
"I'm not injured in my legs."
"Still, you are."
He took one step, then another, hesitantly at first, but soon he was walking more confidently. I glanced back and guided him toward the door. His calm steps quickly reached the door.
"See, it's not that hard, is it?"
"Don't treat me like a child."
Stubborn. I know you're scared.
He was holding my hand so tightly it made my hand tingle. But I knew how much courage it took for him to walk out. His room was very large, and the distance from the bed to the door was considerable. To me, it was a short distance, but for him, it must have felt like a long, long time.
"You did well."
"Will you be satisfied with just this and leave?"
"Of course."
Though I wasn't entirely sure. Vincent turned his body with a very uncomfortable look on his face. But he stopped and didn't move. When I looked at him, he seemed unsure of which direction to go.
"Go this way."
Even as I held his hand and guided him, he didn't move.
"Why are you hesitating?"
"I can't do it."
"You did well just now."
"That was because you were holding me. Look, I can't walk without you."
His confidence had vanished. He looked like a lost child. Clearly, he was a grown man, but to me, he seemed as weak as a child.
That must mean his condition is very unstable.
"Sir, I somewhat agree with Mr. Christopher. You can't keep living like this forever. I was hired knowing about your condition, but can the other servants never find out? What about the people who know you?"
Words spread before they can be grasped. If a servant sneaks into the annex and sees Vincent, or if one of the annex servants leaks the information, the rumor will spread quickly. Then people will try to find out if it's true.
"There will come a time when everyone knows about your condition. Will you still stay in your room then?"
"...I understand. I understand, so stop nagging."
"If you understand, that's fine."
"You talk too much for a maid."
He rubbed his face with one hand and groaned. I took his hand and walked back to the bed. Then I guided him to walk to the door again.
After doing this two or three more times, Vincent seemed to get the hang of it. He took steps with a bit more confidence. So, I changed my approach.
"From now on, I'll let go of your hand halfway."
"What?"
"Don't worry. Even if I let go of your hand, just keep walking straight."
I turned his stiff body and positioned him so that he could walk straight to the door. Then I took his hand and led him forward. His steps were heavier than before.
"I can't do it."
"You can. Come on, shall I let go of your hand now?"
"Wait. Don't let go yet."
He quickly pulled back. I took a few steps back and glanced behind me. When we were halfway across the room, I asked again.
"Is it okay now?"
"Not yet."
So, I walked a bit more and asked again.
"Is it okay now?"
"Not yet."
How long will he keep saying 'not yet'? We were almost at the door.
"I'm letting go now."
"Just a moment."
As I loosened my grip to let go, he suddenly grabbed my hand. I glanced behind me and said,
"I'm letting go."
"Wait―!"
I ruthlessly pulled my hand away and quickly stepped back.
His steps immediately stopped. His eyes darted around, trembling with anxiety. His hands followed, and his face hardened with tension as he realized I wasn't beside him.
I told him to keep walking, but he quickly lost his direction and stumbled around. I took two steps back, making a loud thud.
"Sir, this way."
"Where, where are you?"
"Here. Follow the sound of my voice."
He turned his head toward my voice, but he didn't move easily.
"Just keep walking, Sir."
"I can't."
"You haven't taken a single step yet."
"I can't."
"You can. Your legs aren't injured."
I stretched out my hands to catch him. He still hesitated. Just one step, why can't he muster the courage?
The wait was long. Vincent couldn't move easily. He kept hesitating, moistening his dry lips with his tongue.
I waited patiently. I wanted him to take a step and gain confidence from it. This was something he had to overcome on his own.
"Don't worry. If you fall, I'll catch you."
I braced my legs, ready to run to him at any moment.
Vincent was silent. The longer he hesitated, the more anxious I became. I was worried he might really give up.
But then, he took a step.
And another step, and another. He started walking slowly toward me. I deliberately stomped my feet and took a few steps back, quickly reaching the door. He gauged the direction by the sound of my steps and walked carefully.
I stretched out my hands as far as I could, leaning forward to reach him quickly. My eyes were fixed on him.
He soon reached the door.
Now, only one step remained.
"Right in front of you is the door."
He reached out his hand toward me. His large frame leaned forward. I also leaned forward to meet him. But at that moment, he slipped on something he hadn't cleared away.
His body swayed. Without thinking, I took a step forward, but he suddenly looked up. His clear emerald eyes stared straight ahead. It seemed he knew I was there, reaching for me.
Don't move.
That's what he seemed to be saying. I stopped the foot I was about to put forward.
He quickly took another step to regain his balance. Then he took another hesitant step forward. His large hand reached out to me again. I also stretched out my hands toward him. His body brushed past the door and came closer to me.
I hugged him tightly.
"Sir!"
As soon as he was in my arms, his knees buckled. I barely caught his collapsing body, and we both fell to the floor, my nose bumping into his shoulder. A thud followed, and a sharp pain shot through my buttocks.
But the pain quickly faded. The warmth of his body filled my embrace.
"Haa, haa."
His heavy breathing echoed in my ears. His sweat dripped onto my neck. His hand clutched my back, and the trembling in his hand and the tension in his body were transmitted to me. Then I realized he had walked out of the room on his own.
Emotions welled up inside me. I sniffled and patted his back.
"You did well. Really well."
I whispered repeatedly, trying to comfort him. Vincent buried his face in my shoulder and breathed steadily. His golden hair pricked my cheek. It was a ticklish sensation, but I rubbed my cheek against his hair. I knew how he felt, so I couldn't move.