"The annex can only be entered by designated servants. Even then, they can only go to their assigned areas at specific times. If they enter outside of these times or if an undesignated servant enters the annex, they will be executed."
I had no idea. It's true that I rarely saw other servants, but I didn't realize entry was so restricted. Is it because of Vincent's condition...? I wasn't warned about any restricted areas, though. Maybe it was fine because I was one of the servants attending to him.
"Still, it's a shame."
Renika pouted, looking genuinely disappointed.
"If you want to send a message, just let me know. I can pass it on for you."
"Ahaha, thank you."
After saying goodbye to Renika, I went down to the dining room for breakfast.
Originally, servants weren't supposed to use it, but no one actually used it. Vincent didn't want to leave his room, so he ate there, and no one else came around. In fact, I wasn't even sure if there were other people in this mansion. I had never seen them properly. But that mystery was just solved.
Anyway, no one would say anything, so I used it comfortably.
But today, someone was there. A guest had arrived early in the morning.
"Oh, I'm sorry."
"It's fine. Please, sit down."
He gestured to the seat opposite me, noticing the potato in my hand. But I couldn't do that. Eating with a guest would be a scandal if Lady Isabella saw it. Besides, I needed my alone time. Being with that annoying master, even for a short while, drained me.
I bowed slightly.
"No, please, eat comfortably."
"Don't go. I was already embarrassed eating alone, and I would be happy if you joined me."
But the guest was being persistent. I shook my head firmly, for my own sake.
"That's not possible. And please, call me by my name."
"I generally try to be polite to women."
Ethan smiled kindly and gestured to the seat opposite again. What a considerate attitude. I admired it lightly and shook my head.
"It's fine. I'll go now."
"Are you leaving me here alone?"
"Huh?"
"Leaving me to eat alone and feel lonely. Oh, I can't do it. I can't eat if I'm alone. I just can't."
He finally put down his utensils, showing his disappointment openly.
"I've lost my appetite."
His persistent tone made me sit down opposite him reluctantly. Only then did Ethan smile contentedly and pick up his utensils to eat his soup. What a sly guy. I wonder how he and Vincent became friends, given their completely different personalities.
I took a bite of the peeled potato. The potatoes here are delicious, but eating with an uncomfortable companion made it hard to tell if they were going in through my nose or my mouth.
"Eating together makes the food taste different."
"Does it?"
I answered vaguely while keeping an eye on the door. I was worried that Lady Isabella or other servants I had never seen might come in, or that the cook might pass by and enter. There had been no signs of anyone, though.
With my nerves on edge, eating the potato made my stomach feel heavy.
"How is Vincent? He seemed very angry."
"He wasn't particularly angry."
"But he threw things."
"He often does that."
"Is that so? It must be dangerous often."
Yes, I've been hurt a lot because of it. But compared to his initial brutality, he's been more restrained recently. Something must have changed in his mindset, as he's been less temperamental. He still throws things, but it's more like three times instead of four, and softer objects instead of hard ones.
As I was chewing the potato, a sudden silence fell. When the conversation abruptly stopped, I shifted my gaze from the door to him. Ethan was hesitating, his mouth moving slightly.
Wondering why, I stared at him, and he continued.
"Do you know, Miss? About Vincent's current state?"
"..."
I immediately closed my mouth and swallowed the dry lump of potato. From his tense eyes, I understood what he meant by "Vincent's current state." I was hired to attend to the blind master, after all.
Ethan also knew about Vincent's current state. I couldn't tell why he was asking, but I wasn't sure if I should acknowledge it, so I remained silent.
Interpreting my silence as a positive response, Ethan smiled bitterly.
"Recently, I've heard that the Bellunita family is secretly hiring more servants. There are even rumors about how cruel the master must be for people to keep quitting."
I nodded unconsciously as I listened to him. He is cruel, after all. Then I realized it and stopped.
Glancing at Ethan, he was smiling mischievously.
"Vincent must be giving you a hard time."
"No, he treats me kindly."
"But you said he often throws things."
"Did I? It was a slip of the tongue. I'm sorry."
"Wow, you even defend such a master. You must be a very kind person."
"..."
I just kept my mouth shut and buried my nose in the potato. But he leaned in, looking at me closely.
"How did you get hired? Did you come here on your own?"
"The butler hired me."
Technically, I was sold, but I didn't elaborate. Ethan nodded, as if he knew who the butler was.
"Vincent is very stubborn. Once he sets his mind, no one can change it."
"..."
Don't fall for it. It's a trap.
"Moreover, when someone goes against his opinion, he shows such displeasure. He frowns and puts on a hard face, even when he's usually calm, and he always manages to upset you."
"..."
Don't fall for it. Ignore it.
"Commoners call it... what was it? Stubborn? Obstinate? Something like that."
"Obstinate."
"Right, that's it. Exactly."
I couldn't argue with that, so I remained silent. Ethan chuckled.
"But those times were good..."
His smile faded, leaving only a bitter expression. He looked out the window. White clouds floated in the blue sky.
"Hard to believe, but he wasn't always like that. He couldn't leave the mansion, but he handled his duties, took occasional walks in the garden, and laughed often."
I already knew this. It's hard to imagine Vincent doing his duties or walking in the garden, especially laughing. The Vincent I knew was a man who cowered in his bed, trembling with fear, afraid to eat, step on the floor, or even breathe.
"A few months ago, he stopped replying to letters, didn't answer calls, and wouldn't meet people he sent for. I was worried about his condition, so I came here unannounced. Now I understand why."
I had nothing to say to his bitter smile. I couldn't easily offer comfort. It wasn't a simple problem, and I wasn't good with words. I didn't expect a mere servant's comfort to alleviate his worries.
So, this was my way of showing my sincerity.
"Don't worry too much. The master is trying his best."
His puzzled gaze met mine. I took the last bite of the potato and continued.
"He suddenly had to live in darkness. How terrifying it must be. It must feel like being left alone in the world. I would want to die. You can't tell who to trust or who to be wary of."
Worse, if someone were to punch him, he couldn't avoid it. He can't see. Things that are trivial to others are terrifying to him. If someone were to stab him, he couldn't run away.
If my death were approaching and I couldn't see it, how terrifying would that be?
I thought of Vincent, trembling in his nightmares last night. He was fighting against that fear, saying his life was a failure. What if it were me? I imagined it, and the conclusion was the same. I would probably be cowering in one place, trembling.
"But the master didn't die. He's so afraid of being touched that he convulses, but he's still trying to live. He's fighting."
Of course, he doesn't want to die. He dislikes being touched, doesn't eat, and doesn't go out, just huddling on the bed, waiting for death. At least, that's how it seemed to me.
But when he lost his sight and tried to maintain his daily life, he must have struggled to live. Even now, he could bite his tongue and die, but he doesn't. He wants to live. That alone is a great effort, I think.
"Instead of offering empty comfort, just support him in your heart. Sometimes, silence is better than comfort. You're not the master, Mr. Christopher. It's wrong to say you understand someone else's pain. How can someone else understand your pain when they haven't experienced it?"
I am just me. Vincent said something similar before. I agreed. Saying you understand someone else's pain is like a dog barking. I can't become Vincent. Unless I suffer a similar accident and