I had a little brother who was two years younger than me. And unlike me, he was a good kid. A cute little tyke. He was my treasure. The person I loved most in this world.
And that cute little brother of mine loved his family.
He loved our father. Our mother…. Me. And I loved him right back.
Love was all we really had since our house was extremely poor. Every day it was hard just having enough for everyone to eat. But no matter what, my little brother never stopped smiling. Even on the days when the food ran out or the cold was unbearable, that smile made everything better.
So I smiled too.
And so did our parents. We might not have had much, but we had a loving family…. Is what I thought.
But then that fateful day came. It was a horrifyingly, disgustingly sunny day when I realized just how wrong I was.
Everything had seemed normal until a couple men that I’d never seen before showed up outside our house.
My mother had smiled like they were good friends and invited them in. She served them a meal even though we barely had enough for ourselves. And then afterwards my father had accepted a huge purse of gold from them.
Then, without a word, the men had stood up, walked over to my precious little brother, and stuffed him screaming and kicking into a burlap sack.
My parents didn’t even flinch. They just continued to smile while they watched them do it.
I wasn’t stupid. I knew exactly what was going on. I realized that they were selling us. And that’s when I knew that the only people who actually understood what love was in that household were my little brother and I. My parents didn’t even spare an ounce of affection for us.
And in that moment I wanted to kill someone for the first time in my life.
I pulled out the dagger that had been sheathed at my waist. It was something that my father had given to me. And I killed the men with it. I killed my parents too. I stabbed them over and over. Over and over and over again.
Normally I’m someone who can’t handle the sight of blood, but that day the whole room was awash in red but I couldn’t stop. I still remember the whole scene vividly. That scene and my crime have been branded permanently into my memory.
When all was over, I felt so empty as the tears fell.
My whole world. Everything I thought I knew had come crashing down around me that day.
My own family, who I had loved more than anything, had betrayed me. And my poor little brother who had been stuffed into a sack…. I could count the number of times that he had been able to eat his fill on just one hand. And that poor little brother had been crushed to death beneath the men that I had just killed.
All alone I had buried my little brother’s body on the small hill next to my house.
And then I just stayed there. For days on end, I sat beside his grave and grieved. It was a place that I had loved. It was a place where my beloved brother, the only person who truly loved me in this world, had liked to take naps during the day, so just being there soothed my heart just the tiniest bit. It was the only place left that held any meaning for me.
More days passed and I didn’t move. After a while even the hunger and thirst that had been gnawing at me just faded away to nothingness. Even the passage of time seemed to draw to a standstill as I sat on that hill.
Until he came.
“So you’re the kid from that house?”
The one who finally found me, somehow still alive after all that time, was FlĂĽgel Rodernetz.
The young prince had come to give my parents a warning since they hadn’t payed their taxes and he must have ended up seeing that horrible scene. He probably opened an investigation into what had happened which is how he found out about my existence.
Seeing me sitting there empty-eyed, nearly dead, FlĂĽgel must have taken pity on me. Since after that he took me into his custody. He fabricated the investigation reports, saying that the Arkwright family had died due to a group suicide. He even went so far as to spread that information around so that no one would question what really happened.
And then after that Flügel peremptorily made me his servant. He didn’t ask and I had no room to refuse, not that I would have wanted to. From that day on, he never gave me any orders, but he reminded me of my sins often, demanding that I remember them.
“Oz, you’re a sinner. Never forget that. You’ve killed people. You know the feeling of cutting into another person’s flesh. The smell of their blood. Their horrified, tortured expressions as they died.”
Never forget your sin. That was the only thing that FlĂĽgel asked of me.
“As long as you never forget that, you’ll be able to live as a strong and good person. You’ll be someone who will never make the same mistake again.”
Flügel is always right. He’s always sincere and honest. Unlike me, he’s a good person. If it’s him, he might be able to see the real me. The one hidden behind the murderer that I’ve become.
In the deepest reaches of my heart, Flügel became my life’s savior. He was the one person that made up my whole world.
＊＊＊
After Cecile and FlĂĽgel had come to an agreement, the whole incident was considered closed so they finally unlocked my handcuffs. FlĂĽgel, once again looking at all the bruises and cuts all over me, turns apologetic eyes towards me. All traces of the crazed obsession that had been in his eyes when he ordered me to kill Cecile Alldington have disappeared completely.
“Let’s go get those looked at. The clinic ought to have everything we need to treat your wounds.”
“I’m fine. What about you? Did you hit your head or anything when you collapsed?”
My master shakes his head and then gives me a wan smile.
“I’m sorry for getting you caught up in all this.”
“You better be.”
Part of me wants to yell and scream and demand that he give me back all the time that I spent agonizing over his orders, but only a small part. I’ve already forgiven him. Since to me, Flügel is the one constant, the one absolute thing in my life. So that snarky reply will be the only complaint he ever hears from me about this.
“You should both go get some medical attention. Your Highness, at the very least you should probably get some rest. I would think your mind could use a break after everything that happened today. Oswell, you too. My servant overdid it a bit today. So let me take care of those wounds for you,” Cecile says, offering me a hand to help me up off the ground.
Although her words and actions suggest that she’s okay with all this, I can still see a vein on her temple twitching a bit and her expression seems somewhat stiff. But’s only natural that she’d be mad. Since I did try to hurt her.
For a moment I hesitate, wondering if it’s okay for me to accept her outstretched hand or not. But, having her nurse me back to health does sound quite appealing.
Just as I’m about to grab onto her delicate, white hand, another hand reaches out and smacks mine away.
“I overdid it? You must be joking. This isn’t nearly enough considering what he tried to do to you. There’s also no need for you to take care of him, Ojousama.”
With a look of pure hostility, Ashley Carlyle blatantly glares down at me before tugging Cecile a few steps away.
“Ashley…. let’s call it a day, okay? You’re clearly on edge from lack of sleep.”
“If you know that I’m already in a bad mood, then you shouldn’t try my patience further by getting so close to other people.”
“Ah, jeez…..”
Although Cecile sighs as if she’s giving into him, she doesn’t look the least bit troubled by Carlyle’s actions. On the contrary, she actually looks like she’s enjoying the situation immensely.
It seems like I wasn’t able to make you mine in the end after all, Cecile Alldington.
I don’t wait any longer, I stand up by myself. I then offer my hand to my master to help pull him up off the ground as well.
A slightly bitter smile finds its way onto Flügel’s face.
“Right from the start, you really didn’t have a chance, did you…”
“You’re the one who was ruthlessly rejected today, not me.”
Though in a way, I guess I was as well. But it’s fine. I’ll just pretend I’ve gone back to the time before I entered the academy.
“Anyways, I’m done with love affairs for the time being. I’m just going to throw myself into my work.”