Chapter 25

Chapter 25

“Hey! You’re looking rather down, Miss Alldington.”

Ever since the rehearsal ball, Cecile Alldington has gone around looking listless. And I also haven’t seen her together with her precious servant at all these past few days.

It’s the first time this has happened since he started attending school here. Aside from during class, Cecile’s servant had been her shadow at practically all times….. Wait, scratch that. He followed her around to the point that even during class he would be watching her through the window. But I haven’t seen them together once during these last 10 days, not even walking to and from school which had been an everyday occurrence for them.

It really puts me in a great mood. Since such an eyesore has suddenly been removed from the picture.

“You’re such a lousy person. If you can tell that I’m feeling down, then would it kill you to not look so happy about it?”

I don’t know if it’s cause she’s in such a foul mood, but today she doesn’t seem to care at all about having bad manners, going so far as to stick her tongue out at me in obvious annoyance.

“But if I also go around with a scowl on my face, then wouldn’t that just ruin the mood entirely? I assure you, it was only my intention to cheer up the lovely Miss Alldington?”

Even though class had ended a while ago, Cecile still hadn’t stood up from her seat and had just been sitting there moodily. She had an expression on her face like she couldn’t be bothered even to move. Perhaps due to the emotional fatigue caused by trouble brewing between her and her servant?

And if the result has manifested as physical exhaustion like this, then could she have had an actual fight with that guy?

Either way, I hope this weariness is all that servant’s doing.

If you no longer have any regard for him, then you can die without regrets, right Cecile Alldington?

“That’s not convincing at all when you say it with such a big grin on your face, Mister Arkwright.”

Even as she starts to gather her things together, she lets out a huge sigh.

“But, you know….. I guess I’ll tolerate it for today. That’s just your way of trying to be nice, I suppose. As irritating as it is.”

“Oy. Don’t say that as if you’ve completely figured me out,” I say, snickering, acting as if I’m bothered by her words.

Because in reality, you don’t know anything.

Not what sort of person I am, nor what sort of threat I pose to you. Nothing. Me being nice? Hilarious. I’m just the class clown. I laugh frivolously without a care in order to deceive everyone, putting on the mask of a human merely so I can slip into their ranks.

That’s me, always playing the part of the flirty fool. But Cecile Alldington… Did you know? When it comes to you, I was never acting. Those were my true feelings. At some point, I honestly started caring for you. But even that, you have no clue of.

“Figured you out….? I’m not so sure about that. But I do know one thing at least. It may have only been a year since we met, but I’ve definitely ended up becoming much closer with you.”

“Are you feeling alright today? Wasn’t it you who was always saying that you didn’t want to get involved with me?”

Closing her eyes momentarily, Cecile lets out a tiny laugh.

“In the end, you might have worn me down little by little all this time. Who told you to be so persistent?”

“Oh yeah? So you finally fell for me?”

“This and that are two entirely different things.”

Then…..

All the more, that means you need to die. Die, and become only mine.

It doesn’t matter if you don’t like me back. I just need you to be killed by me. I want to be someone who made an impact on you. Someone important to you. More than anyone else, at the end, I want to be the existence that had the most control over your life.

“Are you growing senile already? What’s with that look?”

“Nope? I’m just looking at you.”

I’m trying to imagine what you’ll look like as I’m killing you.

Your face twisted with pain while I strangle you. Your body bleeding out. Your anguished expression after consuming poison. Any of them will do. As long as you play along with my selfish whim, I’ll be satisfied. I should probably end it fast so you don’t have to suffer though.

And I’ll follow right after you.

The moment I die, I’ll be there right next to your corpse. I’ll hold you close to me as I drink deadly poison. Even in the midst of the pain, since I can die in your arms, I can think of no better happiness than that.

“Nothing but frivolities as always, I see.”

“Even if you say that, I’ve been holding myself back recently, you know? And look, it’s paying off! I’ve finally wheedled my way into your good graces.”

Cecile freezes for a moment and slowly turns to look at me, her eyes meeting mine. Her gaze tunnels into me, searching my face for something. For a moment I get this feeling like her eyes are seeing through me, through everything, and my conscience can’t help but prickle with a slight guilt.

“If, on the off chance that your words haven’t just been idle banter….”

Cecile’s eyes tremble slightly. Her expression says that she’s currently battling with her own guilt over her next words.  In that moment, I instinctively understand that she’s trying to tell me something that I definitely don’t want to hear. I’m suddenly overcome with the desire to cover my ears, but I don’t make it in time.

“I can’t respond to your feelings….. You’re one of the few friends that I actually have, after all.”

Ain’t that the truth. You have so few friends. And before today, I never would have thought that you even considered me as one of them.

But you’re seriously telling me this now of all times?

After I’ve already gone way past the point of being satisfied with just being friends, you finally admit that you see me as such?

If only you’d said so sooner…… If you had told me this before I had started to pine for something more than friendship, then I never would have fallen in love with you. But now? It’s too late for that.

“So you’re finally acknowledging me as a friend now, huh? I’ve been promoted at last.”

I can no longer be happy with just becoming friends.

“Then I guess the day when we become something more won’t be that far in the future.”

Though both you and I no longer have any sort of future at all.

“You really should learn how to be more sincere….. See you tomorrow,” Cecile says, smiling bitterly, and without waiting for her servant to come and lead her away, she heads off toward the dorm by herself.

＊＊＊

No matter what sort of institution it is, when it comes to nighttime, the security is always lacking.

The Royal Palace for instance. Or a noble’s estate. And this academy is no exception, of course.

For someone who’s already used to sneaking into places unseen, breaking into the dorms at night is a piece of cake.

As a matter of fact….

“Don’t you think this is a little too easy for me?” I say to the sleeping form in front of me, but she hazards no answer.

Cecile Alldington is lying on the bed in front of me, her breathing regular as she sleeps soundly. Her white skin stands out well in the dark room.

If I were to be caught stealing into the girls’ dorm in the middle of the night without permission, then I’d be in huge trouble. That said, the number of guys that make the attempt isn’t small. Midnight trysts are a must for the precious sons and daughters of esteemed families who are finally living in a place void of parental supervision. If their parents did know, they’d be quite disappointed. Illicit sexual relationships aren’t exactly considered admirable behavior among the upper echelons of society after all.

Though, I guess that’s not really something that I should be saying anything about anyway, seeing as today I came here to do something much, much worse.

“I love you, Cecile Alldington.”

Moonlight shines on her face, playing off her striking features.

You may be dense and have a terrible personality, but you’re almost painfully beautiful and unbearably adorable. At least, in my eyes you are.

And tonight, you are going to die. But I promise I’ll follow right behind you.

You said it today. That we’re friends. But once I’ve killed you, will you still be able to consider me as such an insignificant existence? I highly doubt it. The moment your breathing stops at my hands, my role in your life will become infinitely bigger. At that point, I should finally be able to step into the lead role. I’m the one who will send you down to the depths, into the abyss of death.

And the one who will send that precious servant of yours spiraling into misery of the acutest kind.

In some place completely unbeknownst to him, his master is going to be killed. Moreover, in the middle of a fight, he’ll suddenly no longer be able to see his master ever again. You’ll never be able to make up.

From the breast pocket of my jacket I pull out a dagger, the one thing in this world that I can claim to be solely my own property. All my worldly possessions amount only to this. This plain silver, conveniently compact weapon. I’ve hurt countless people with this blade. Now, just one more….

“I love you. I love you….. So, together let’s…..”

I thrust the dagger towards her neck, though before the blade could reach her white skin my arm suddenly refuses to listen to me, freezing in midair. The fact that I stopped just short, that I’m hesitating, might be proof that I’m still human somehow.

I loved seeing her smiling face. Even when she was smiling at a boy that wasn’t me, I still loved her smile.

And I loved hearing her voice. Even when she used words to push me away, as long as they were spoken from her lips, I would collect them like treasures, engraving them into my memory.

If I could have my way, the truth is…. I would have liked her to remain alive. I want her to keep on living, and for us to love each and find happiness together.

Saying that if she dies then I’ll finally be able to make her mine is mere sophistry. Its a lie that I’ve been telling myself over and over again. But even so, that’s not what I truly want. I want Cecile’s heart. I want her to love me.

But for me, this is the only way.

I can’t let Cecile Alldington live.

Because it’s already been decided.

Cecile Alldington has been chosen as the sacrifice.

And I have no right to change that decision.

This chapter is scrapped from readlightnovel.org

So I found an excuse. A plausible lie to tell myself.

That I’ll be able to obtain her so long as she dies.

“Sh*t……!”

My hand is refusing to listen to me.

Hurry! Slit this woman’s throat and end it! An inch. Slice down an inch further. Quickly, seize this woman with your own hands!

Just move already!

Before I lose my calm. Before I’m tempted to run away from my duty…. Before the thought of killing Cecile becomes anymore overwhelmingly dreadful than it already is.

“……Everyone ends up crying. Since you’re all so kind.”

My hand holding the dagger starts to tremble slightly in surprise. The tremor causes the knife to flick lightly across the skin at the base of her throat, allowing a thin line of blood to trickle down.

She places her slim, white hand on top my trembling one, the one still grasping the dagger. With her hand covering mine, the shaking becomes even more violent.

“The only people that try to kill me are those that end up weeping.  Since everyone around me is so kind. Oswell, that includes you too. It’s because you’re actually a good person that you’re hesitating right now, don’t you think?”

She’s not just sleep-talking. Cecile is looking at me through her still half closed eyes.

“You don’t seem surprised. Did you already realize that I was planning to kill you?”

My vision starts to blur. Just like Cecile said, without realizing it, I must have started crying. When she mentioned my hesitation, it made me realize for the first time. I never knew that I had been agonizing this much over killing her.

“Hmm, I wonder. I suppose I had known, but I couldn’t quite bring myself to actually believe it.”

“Did someone tell you something?”

“I suppose you could say that.”

Since the beginning, Cecile has been speaking in a low, quiet voice. And even now, even though she could be killed at any moment, she still hasn’t raised it in the slightest.

“You won’t be able to kill me. In the end, that child wasn’t able to go through with it either.”

“I see. So there were others besides me who have tried to kill you already? How irritating,” I say with my usual rakish bravado and joking tone. Though the effect was probably lost cause the tears are still falling….. This d*mn crying is going tarnish my dissolute reputation.

“But I’ll be able to kill you,” I assure her. There’s no way that I came all the way here with such half-baked feelings. I have to kill her. Cecile Alldington’s destiny is to die here.

“No you won’t. For three different reasons, actually,” Cecile tells me with a triumphant little smile before listing them off one-by-one.

“One: you’re not the sort of person who is capable of killing someone. You’re a wonderful person who is crying for someone else’s sake.”

“That’s nonsense.”

Haven’t I been saying all along that I’ll be able to kill her?

“Two….. I think you should have already realized it by now, actually. How that important person of yours is wrong. How you are starting to doubt whether you should continue to obey ‘his’ orders. I mean, you’re normal… and ‘he’ isn’t. And since you are normal, you can’t trust ‘him’ from the bottom of your heart anymore.”

I feel my face heating up.

“Cecile….. Alldington….. what could you possibly…..”

“What could I know?”

‘Him’?

You’re speaking as if you know everything…. Just how much do you know?

“I know it all. Who you most probably are. And what you’ve likely had to do just to survive up until now.”

“How……?”

Don’t look at me with that sympathetic gaze.

With those eyes that pity me, thinking that everything I know, that I think I know, is wrong.

What does she know about him?

“Oswell, you should have already realized how strange ‘he’ is, right?”

“Don’t insult him…..!”

Don’t talk badly about him.

He’s the one that’s been keeping me alive….. my whole world.

“Don’t look down on Flügel!”

Suddenly an overwhelming strength bursts forth from my arm.

If I just lose myself to this momentum, will this be the first time that I actually kill someone that I had held dear to me? But I can’t stop. I no longer have the ability to stop my hand from plunging down further.

“And three.”

In that moment the dagger…. no, not just the dagger….. my whole body is sent flying.

I lay sprawled on the ground for a comparatively long time before I belatedly realize that someone had roundhouse kicked me from behind.

Finally, that confident, triumphant little smile that Cecile Alldington had showed me earlier makes perfect sense.

“I have a wonderfully, amazingly excellent servant who simply won’t allow you to kill me, Oswell.”

“That’s exactly right, my dear, beloved Ojousama.”

Ah. Your servant ended up being a hindrance to me after all. I guess at this point, it’s inevitable.