Tensei Oujo wa Kyou mo Hata o Tatakioru Chapter 134
āSir Leonhardā¦?ā
I said, confused as to why he would grab my hands so suddenly.
āPrincess, Iāmā¦ā
He tried to say something before his voice trailed off. The rest of the words had disappeared and never materialised into sound. With wrinkles between his brows, Sir Leonhard desperately searched for the right words.
But in the end, when nothing came to mind, he gave up and went back to his usual self. He turned his eyes downcast and slightly shook his head.
When I saw that, I thought he was trying to comfort me. He cares for me and for my tattered hands.
Youāre so kind. Itās not even your fault.
āItās okay. Actually, I didnāt give it much thought in the first place⦠I truly donāt care, but itās a pity that I donāt, isnāt it?ā
I smiled as I said so. But soon after that, I knew I had failed. I wanted him to laugh, but if I say something so self-deprecating, it would surely put someone as kind-hearted as Sir Leonhard in a tight spot.
āThatās not true!ā
āā¦?ā
Leonhard denied me, his voice raised. My body stiffened up from the sudden pressure that he gave off. Seeing me like that, he sighed and backed down.
āIām terribly sorry⦠I didnāt intend to scare you.ā
Leonhard squeezed out his voice filled with regret. I bit my lips and shook my head in reply. I, too, didnāt want you to make a face like that.
āā¦ā
Silence fell upon the room. ā Sigh ,ā Leonhard exhaled with a smile. He lowered his gaze again, his eyes full of self-mockery. The unusually carefree expression he was making relaxed my stiffened shoulders. We held hands and laughed as we faced each other.
āI am a despicable man. I was so busy being afraid of hurting you, I ended up making you anxious instead. If this is how it is, then I shouldāve been honest from the beginning. ā¦Princess.ā
āYes?ā
āIf you feel that my words hurt you, even if itās just a little, can you please tell me right away?ā
āYes.ā
When I obediently nodded, Sir Leonhard looked more relieved. Aaah, Iām happy even though Iām in trouble. I love you so much that Iām just nodding along to whatever you do .
Leonhard held up my left hand and touched on a wound on my thumb.
āā¦This is a new scar, isnāt it?ā
āUm⦠It was when I was cooking a while back⦠I was peeling veggies but my mind was somewhere else.ā
āAnd this one?ā
He traced a large scar running through my palm. However, since it was originally quite shallow and had now mostly disappeared.
āAh, that one was from when I stayed at the Kua village. I was collecting some ingredients and the leaves were quite sharp.ā
āIs this⦠a burn mark?ā
Sir Leonhardās attention was suddenly brought to a reddish mark along the edge of my right hand, near the wrist.
āI was stirring medicine in a pot and a little bit of it got on me. But it really was just a little.ā
Leonhard traced each scar with his fingers as he confirmed each of them one by one. He had a look of worry on his face the whole time, even guilt at some point, but he didnāt stop checking.
āPrincess. I do not wish for you to be hurt.ā
āSir Leonā¦ā
āBut I canāt say that you wouldnāt be in danger if you were by my side.ā
āThough, I do realise this isnāt the best time to be saying cool lines like that,ā so he said, playfully laughing and reducing the tension in the room, while doing so with a pained expression.
āIām sure that you will always be yourself, no matter who stands next to you.ā
āNo!ā ā¦Is what I couldnāt say. Even if Sir Leonhard were the one to be beside me, I still couldnāt leave everything to him in the end. Thatās because Ić¼because who I am wonāt allow it.
āConsidering who you are, I canāt stop you trying to help others, or rather, I donāt want you to stop⦠So, princess, the following are the words that I want to convey to you.ā
āā¦ā
I silently awaited Sir Leonhardās next words. I was ready for him to be angry. I acted as I wanted, and went in way over my head many times. As a result, some things flowed in a good direction as small victories, but one misstep, and I wouldāve easily lost my life. If anything happens to me, it would bother a lot of people. It wasnāt my problem alone.
ā¦Ah, but, if youāre not angry, then what should I do? What if you say, āIāve had enough,ā and push me away?
After imagining the worst-case scenario, my fingertips became stiff. I closed my eyes and bit my lips in anticipation.
āAll in all, youāve done admirably.ā
āā¦Huh?ā
For a moment, I didnāt quite catch what he said. What he said was such a far cry from my expectations, and I couldnāt register his words at first; It felt like he was speaking in a foreign language. With my eyes wide open, I looked at Sir Leonhardās face.
He was laughing. His eyes, full of endless kindness, did not contain a hint of disappointment.
āI donāt know everything youāve been through on your journey. However, when I looked at your hand, I now understand very well.ā
āThey are the hands of a hard-working person,ā Leonhard said as he wrapped his hands around mine. The heat from his rough palms gradually warmed up my stiffened fingers from before.
It permeated throughout my whole body and slowly melted away my worries. The tension, the front I put on, everything was peeled off and dissolved. The only thing left was me . The pitiful and uncool excuse of a woman who loves Sir Leonhard.
āIt may be insensitive of me to say this⦠But please donāt be ashamed of your wounds that youāve earned.ā
āā¦Even though theyāre so ragged?ā
I tried to laugh it out, but my voice shook. The back of my nose was stuffy and my throat hurt.
āEven if itās ragged.ā
Leonhard gave a small nod.
āTo me, these hands are the most beautiful of all.ā
āā¦ā
The moment I heard those words, my tears flowed. Sir Leonhard panicked when he saw droplets fall from my eyes.
āPrincess⦠Iām sorry.ā
āNoā¦! No, itās nothing like that.ā
I shook my head and squeezed out a strained voice. It was nasally and unbefitting. But I didnāt want to be misunderstood, so I had to continue on.
āIām glad.ā
I could see Leonhardās wide eyes through all the tears. After a few blinks, his eyes gently narrowed. His big hand reached out to softly pat my head.
Ah⦠Iām glad. Iām truly glad that I love him.
<blockquote>TN: How the turntables. Rose is the one on the crying stick. I guess thereās always a bigger fish out there, huh? Speaking of fish, do you know what all fishes donāt like? This horrible segway to our !</blockquote>
<blockquote>EN: Very dramatic. Very. I miss all the other boys, especially the wizard duo and Crowe! What happened to my babies?!</blockquote>