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A smile gradually appeared at the corner of her mouth: “Didn’t you leave? Do you really think you can trap me? As long as I want, I can make some accidents happen.”
He grinded his teeth, roaring, “You dare! How dare you!”
“Oh, you’re still angry I didn’t tell you beforehand?” She turned away a little calmly, avoiding his breath spraying on her face, “What’s the use of saying that? Did you suddenly wishfully want to raise an illegitimate child?”
He was on the verge of losing control. This woman always had the ability to make him have the urge to kill: “Don’t force me to beat you.”
“Didn’t you hit me just now?” She smiled. His finger marks were still on her face, red and swollen, deforming half of her face. His whole heart twisted, as if being squeezed. He felt uncomfortable. He stretched out his hand to touch her swollen cheek, but she shrank back instinctively. His hand froze there. He stared at her blankly. Her eyes, which were black like a starless night, had no anger, as if her heart had died.
His voice was very low: “I’m sorry.”
“I dare not warrant such an apology.” She sat up slowly, tidying up her clothes, “Take me to the hospital, please. If you delay it, it will be more troublesome.”
Her abrupt calmness made him feel even more at a loss, as though he had walked down the stairs and missed a step. His heart felt empty and unbearable, he said with difficulty, “We – can we talk?”
“There’s nothing to talk about.” She said lightly, “I know that you were drunk that night. I’ll pretend like I was bitten by a mad dog.” She even smiled at him, “Oops, I compared you to a mad dog. Don’t be angry.”
He looked at her and thought of many things. He remembered that when Shao Zhenrong took her home, what was he thinking when he saw her at first sight? He took her home again and again, she was so pitiful, what was he thinking about? On that lonely island, seeing her sleeping face again, what was he thinking about again? When he woke up from the pain, he thought she was dead. He stubbornly opened his eyes and looked at Lei Yutao. The people nearby guessed what he meant, in the end Lei Yutao had guessed it and brought her to him.What was he thinking the moment he saw her safe and sound? He couldn’t remember at all. He didn’t know why he would fall in love with her. Even he himself didn’t know why, just like how he didn’t know why a flower would bloom, why a rainbow would appear in the sky, or why an infant smiled
When he knew, it was too late. He only remembered that night, she trembled and cried as he cut off all her happiness with his two hands. Even he knew why.
The one who was most despairing at the beginning was actually him.
He thought he had a chance to make it up. After the car accident, when she was with him, when she started to smile softly to him, when she hugged him with her arms. Although she refused, she did not resist. But she didn’t mention it, she deliberately forgot, she only hated him for the time he forced her. It was like nothing happened in the aftermath of the car accident, just like before, she pitied him – she only pitied him.
He struggled for so long, used up  all his strength, but couldn’t break away from ending up at this result. She was right in front of him, but she was too far away to touch.
He was not angry, but her resisting attitude made him feel unbearable.
He already understanding, that in the end, there was no way out.
Her expression had become slightly impatient: “Mr. Lei
”
“Xiaosu,” he called her by her name for the first time. Those were two intimate words, but it was separated by thousands of mountains and rivers, not even appearing in his dream. He looked blankly at her, and heard himself murmuring, “Can you keep this child?”
“Keep?” She mocked almost sarcastically, “You are not married yet. Someone like you will definitely marry a woman of status. How can someone like me give birth to your child?”
The word, marriage, stabbed into his heart. He had previously made a last ditch struggle, only he knew. In fact, he clearly knew it was impossible, so he had told Lei Yutao, like borrowing Lei Yutao’s hands to extinguish his remaining hopes. Like a terminally ill patient tortured by the pain of cancer for too long, finally tossing about and crying, hoping to die in peace. He used to endure it. Even when the headaches were about to slip open his skull, he could endure it. But he couldn’t endure this kind of despair. In the end, he forced her to say the words to let himself stop dreaming.
He released his hand, looked at her in relief, and finally smiled: “Then change to a better hospital. The school hospital is not safe for performing such operations.”
She didn’t understand why he suddenly agreed, but his face was very calm: “I’ll make arrangements, don’t worry.”
He left the room. She was exhausted, as if all of her strength had been pulled out in an instant. She lay there motionless. The pillow next to her cheeks was soft. The fine and gentle touch of cotton lured her into a deep sleep.
She slept until the sky turned dark before awakening. She didn’t know where she was for a long time after opening her eyes. Opposite the bed were floor-to-ceiling windows. The room was dark and quiet, as if there was no one.
She gradually remembered the past events, got up and found her shoes. The downstairs was empty. The door was closed and she couldn’t get out. She walked through the living room to the backyard and saw a person sitting there.
The night had fallen. The lights of the city could be seen in the distance, carrying a faint drunkenness. He hadn’t drunk. He was very sober and very alert. He looked back at her.
In the end, he spoke first: “The hospital has been arranged. I will accompany you tomorrow.”
She was almost mocking: “Thank you.”
He was not irritated by her, but said rather plainly: “I did something wrong. I will clean up the mess.”
Foreign and alien, but repeating that fake politeness. She suppressed the turbulent hatred in her heart. She did something wrong, but paid the price of her whole life. This man, this man forced her on a path of no return in an almost contemptuous manner.
If she was given a knife, she might pounce on it, but she stood there calmly and rationally. The faint fragrance of osmanthus floated in the night. She couldn’t see any osmanthus trees here but felt as though thousands of thin, small yellow flowers were blooming. The scent was sweet as honey, soaking into every pore, just like the smell of blood.
The hospital he contacted was still a private hospital, but because it was a foreign investment, its scale was not small. Any arrival had to have appointments, so the huge hospital seemed very quiet. There were no crying children, no noise of people queuing up. All the medical staff wore professional smiles, leading them into a separate consulting room.
The appointment was made with a Japanese obstetrician who was fluent in English. Her accent was quite heavy. Du Xiaosu took effort to understand, but still understood most of it. The doctor was just asking about the dates and then brought her to take a blood test and then a B-ultrasound.
The blood test was only to prevent surgical accidents. The nurse who accompanied her to draw blood could speak simple Chinese. She could see her nervousness and smiled and comforted her: “The operation is very safe. Local anesthesia will be used and it will be over in half an hour.”
She walked out of the examination room after completing the B-ultrasound. Because her footsteps were so light, she didn’t disturb anyone. Lei Yuzheng was originally sitting on the sofa in the lounge waiting for her, still holding her bag in his hand, as if thinking about something. She seldom looked at him from this angle, his face lowered. She couldn’t see his expression clearly.
He raised his head. She didn’t have time to look away, so she turned away calmly. The doctor first read the B-ultrasound report, and then explained various potential surgical accidents to her. Because she spoke English, she said it slowly. The operation consent form was also in English. She read it item by item and then signed it. The doctor introduced her to the anesthesiologists and nurses, all experienced professionals. At this time, the blood test report came out. The nurse in the examination room sent it to the doctor. The doctor took a look and suddenly said a sentence to Lei Yuzheng.
Because it was in English and she spoke very quickly, Du Xiaosu did not understand what the doctor was talking about. Lei Yuzheng was obviously taken aback, and then said to Du Xiaosu: “I will talk to the doctor. I will be back soon.”
The doctor and him both went to the office. The nurse poured her a glass of water. She gradually felt uneasy, as if she had a premonition. As expected, Lei Yuzheng came out of the doctor’s office a few minutes later, pulled her up and walked out.
She instinctively wanted to break free: “What are you doing?”
His voice was terribly cold: “Going home.”
“Why?” She tried to break free of his hand, “Why aren’t we doing the surgery?”
“Let’s go home!”
“I’m not going with you! You liar! You went back on your promise!” She was dragged by him and staggered. Finally she pulled at the door frame. He pried her fingers off one by one. She resisted wildly, pounding his shoulder, but couldn’t match his strength. In a fit, she used the bag in her hand to hit him on the head. The bag was made of cowhide and had metal decorations on it. Her hit was not light. He grunted and instinctively stretched out his hand to cover his head. Blood leaked from between his fingers. It turned out that she had hit the wound on his head and the scab cracked again. He didn’t feel much pain, but his sight felt blurry again and nausea came from the bottom of his stomach. He struggled to free his hands to pull Du Xiaosu. She was stunned after seeing the blood. He resisted the nausea: “Come with me.”