I'll be fine even if I don't see Sendai-san â 73
Translated by KaiesV
Edited by KaiesV
Take the book off the shelf and put it back.
Sendai-san has been doing such a simple task for a long time under my order. Sometimes I hear her complain about the heat, but I donât answer her. It is true that the days are still hot even though it is the middle of September, but if I lower the temperature of the air conditioner any further, I will get cold.
Organizing the bookshelves.
That was something anyone could do, and it wasnât something I wanted Sendai-san to do. But if I give an ill-advised order, she goes too far, so I have to give an order without worrying about going too far. These days, orders are becoming a formality.
ăMiyagi, this book?ă
Sendai-san turns around and shows me a manga.
ăItâs appropriate.ă
I answer while sitting on the floor, in front of the table.
I have my own ideas about the arrangement of books, such as arranging them according to genre or placing my favorite books in places that are easy to reach. But there is no need to tell Sendai-san now. Iâve asked her to organize my bookshelves several times in the past, and after she did, I didnât bother to tell her because the bookshelves are arranged in an easy-to-use order.
ăThatâs the kind of thing that bothers me the most.ă
Sendai-san complains and puts away the book that she has in her hand on the bookshelf.
She seems to be the type of person who is good at this kind of thing and is very deft. Itâs like playing a puzzle game, the books change position and the gaps are filled in.
She looked like she was good at that game, but she werenât.
As I look at Sendai-san, remembering the one time we played a game together, my eyes fall on her ears.
In the end, Sendai-san would not let me open the piercing.
Ibaraki-san has piercings, and there are other girls who have piercings. Itâs against school rules, but itâs about as common as it gets. I am sure Sendai-san will open it someday. Then, I think itâs okay if I open it.
But I knew that Sendai-san would not follow that order.
Five thousand yen is not a panacea.
There are things it cannot do.
I knew that, but I still wish I had pierced that scarless ear more than a week after that.
ăOh, right. College, what are you going to do about that?ă
Without turning around, Sendai-san says.
ăWhat am I going to do?ă
ăIf we were going to the same college, Iâd teach you how to study.ă
ăIâm not going.ă
Even if we went to the same university and could spend time together with Sendai-san as we do now, it would surely only be until the end of the university. Perhaps Sendai-san will try to end this before the university is finished.
If that is the case, the sooner it ends, the better. Itâs less hurtful to end it yourself before you are told itâs over.
ăI see.ă
Sendai-san said in a voice that was neither dark nor bright, filling the gap between the bookshelves.
ăBut I will study. Iâm a student taking exams, for one.ă
There is no lie in the words she spoke.
The homework that Sendai-san used to make me do is now something I do myself, and Iâve already finished it today. I donât want to do it, but there are even problem books on the table.
ăEven if you apply to a different university, Iâll at least teach you what you donât know.ă
ăDonât worry about me, Sendai-san, you should study on your own.ă
ăI will do that even if you didnât say so.ă
Without turning around, Sendai-san answers.
Her arms, visible through her short-sleeved blouse, are the same as they were during the summer vacation. I couldnât believe she had walked all the way to my house, not a tan, not a scratch on her.
I had a mark on that arm when her blouse was long sleeved.
That one disappeared after a few days, but the piercing would stay longer. I feel that if I continue to leave a mark that can be seen by anyone, I will feel safer no matter who is next to me.
Although I donât talk to Sendai-san at school, I think it would be nice to have something that shows that part of her time is mine.
ââIt was unsolicited.
I know that Sendai-san will never obey my order to have her piercing opened, but I am too stubborn to give up. Itâs no different than a child who is getting in a knot in the ground because it canât get what it wants.
ăSendai-san, itâs over.ă
With a voice, Sendai-san turns around.
The arm extending from her blouse is still white, and her ears are unscathed. The bookshelves behind her are arranged a little differently than usual, but the manga and novels are nicely lined up.
ăWhat happened to Miyagiâs class at the cultural festival?ă
Sendai-san, sitting next to me, asks me a question.
ăWeâll do a cafe.ă
The third years are moderate.
The teacher did not say so, but it is implicit in the festivalâs presentation. I guess they want us to concentrate on our exams, but every year there are some classes that are not âmoderateâ enough, and this year our class is one of them.
ăPreparation and the day of the event will be a hassle.ă
I answered without pause to the sympathetic voice.
ăItâs a hassle. Thereâs a lot of preparation to do, and Iâm depressed now.ă
ăDid you made maid outfits?ă
ăItâs not a maid cafe, and itâs not that big of a deal.ă
ăWhyâ? I was going to go see Miyagi if she was going to wear a maidâs outfit.ă
Sendai-san chuckles as she says this in a tone that suggests she is not interested.
This is the kind of thing about her that irritates me.
ăThatâs not the point, it looks like weâre going to start getting ready next week, and Iâm going to be late some days.ă
I canât stay with Sendai-sanâs nonsense, so Iâll tell her what I have to tell her.
ăDoes that mean no calls until the festival?ă
ăSendai-san has a prep school, and if our schedules donât match, I think it will happen.ă
After the festival, there will be a midterm exam, so the preparation will be simple and will not be done every day. Even so, it will be harder to keep up with the schedule compared to the past.
ăI understand.ă
I hear the same voice as usual, and I feel pain as if my heart has been grabbed.
Sendai-sanâs class said they would just use the exhibition, but itâs not like they wonât be doing any preparation at all, so they should be able to kill a little time after school, and she has a prep school as well.
That is a schedule that cannot be moved, and Sendai-san will not move it. So the reply that she understand is as I might imagine.
But I didnât consider her reply that I understood to be a good reply.
The preparation for the festival and prep school.
Two schedules just donât mesh for us.
Sendai-san might not come to this room.
Only two weeks until the festival.
To put a finer point on it, there are less than two weeks.
Even if we donât see each other, thatâs about as long as it takes, about winter or spring break. We have not met this much in the past, and it should be normal for Sendai-san to be the same as usual.
So itâs funny that I thought that was unfortunate, even for a moment.
I think these feelings are in my mind.
There is no way I would feel lonely, and there is no way Sendai-san would either.
ăI donât want to study. I wish exams would end sooner.ă
I flip through Sendai-sanâs textbook, which is left on the table. Touching a familiar textbook as if it were my own seems to calm my surging emotions.
Everything is a hassle, and the feeling that the cultural festival and tests should disappear fades away.
ăHey, donât turn it around without permission.ă
Sendai-san complains and pokes me with the tip of her pen. Still flipping through the textbook, she stung me hard with a plop and I pulled my hand back.
Once I replaced the textbook.
On days when I have classes, I can use Sendai-sanâs textbooks. But her textbooks are clearly different from mine. There are a lot of posts on it, and because of the different characters in the writing, it is immediately obvious that it belongs to someone else.
Thatâs not it, why?
Why do I think that if we exchange?
Maybe itâs because weâve been seeing each other for the summer, unlike before. I take Sendai-sanâs presence too much for granted and feel sentimental about the possibility of not seeing her for a while. That must be how it is.
I looked at Sendai, who was going over her textbooks and problem books without saying a word.
Two unbuttoned blouses and ties.
Her hair is neatly braided as usual.
I tug at her tie, which is slightly loosened.
ăOne more order. Take this off.ă
ăâŠWhy? Are you going to tie me up again?ă
Learn more
Pause
Unmute
Sendai-san makes a voice that is recognizably alarmed.
ăBecause itâs not.ă
Unlike a piercing, a necktie wonât damage her body, and it wonât be left behind when she returns
I still think it is strange to want to exchange something.