On the bed, I kick the legs of Sendai-san, who is sleeping comfortably in front of me.
But she doesnât wake up.
Thanks to this, I canât even turn my body around, and itâs too hot.
By all accounts, this situation is strange.
If I had known this was going to happen, I wouldnât have slept with her.
The bed belongs to Sendai-san, but the place where I am is my camp, not hers to come in.
ăSendai-san.ă
I call out to her strongly and press hard on the area of the collarbone.
ăMhmm.ă
I hear a short voice but thatâs it.
Sendai-san continues to sleep with me in her arms.
I donât know how I got into this situation, but it was hot from the futon and body heat, and the arm on top of my body was heavy and frustrating.
ăGo over there.ă
The cuddle pillows are the penguinâs responsibility, not mine.
I donât want to be in her arms forever, so I think she should wake up for good.
ăI told you to wake up.ă
Even if I shouted louder than before, it just mumbles and doesnât wake up.
ăThis is my camp.ă
I pushed Sendai-sanâs body with all my strength.
The arms that were entangled in my body are untangled, and she rolls over and lies on her back. I sit up and stop, wondering if I should wake her up from her blissful slumber.
ăWhat time is it?ă
Itâs long past dawn, and light is streaming in through the cracks in the curtains. I know it is too late to see the first sunrise, but I donât have my phone, so I donât know the exact time.
In the dim light, I pick up the penguin, which is being driven to the edge of the bed, and place it on Sendai-sanâs chest. The penguin is immediately held up and Sendai-san curls up facing me.
I donât think I see her like that very often.
Itâs interesting to see her sleeping with a stuffed animal in her arms, a figure more suitable for the word âbeautifulâ than âcute.â Maika would be surprised to see it, and Sendai-sanâs friends and her Senpai whom I met yesterday would be surprised to see it.
But those girls will never see Sendai-san like this.
This is the kind of Sendai-san that only I, her roommate, can see.
I would never tell anyone that Sendai-san is like this.
I reach out and stroke the blue earring.
This new year is no different than last year.
Sendai-san is my roommate and my own.
I pull the flap of the futon over Sendai-san and get out of bed. I turned on the air conditioner, pick up the phone on the table, and look at the screen.
It is 9:07 A.M.
Itâs not an early time to get up, but itâs also not a late time to get up. Then I sit up in bed, not even time to go back to sleep twice.
I could go back to my room, but since the interesting Sendai-san is there, I would like to watch her a little longer.
On the bed, I point my phone at Sendai-san, who is holding the penguin as a pillow. After a little hesitation, I activated the camera and took a picture of her sleeping, and the flash, which was set to auto, lit up. This time I move closer to Sendai-san and take a picture. The flash flashes again and I hear her sleepy voice.
ăâŠWhat? Itâs bright.ă
Sendai-san rubs her eyes.
ăI was taking a picture.ă
Then I take a crisp shot of her with her eyes half open.
ăPicture?ă
The voice I hear becomes clearer than before.
ăSendai-san didnât wake up, so I had time to take pictures of your sleeping face.ă
ăEh, why are you taking pictures of my sleeping face without my permission? Delete it.ă
Sendai-san jumped up and turned on the light. The penguin in her arms rolled over onto the bed, and the room became brighter.
ăI donât want to. Even Sendai-san took pictures without permission. Itâs New Yearâs, so you said, âItâs okay. Generally, itâs worse to stay awake.â You sleep too soundly.ă
I push Sendai-sanâs shoulder as she tries to take my phone away from me and hand her the penguin.
ăI havenât slept soundly.ă
ăYou were sleeping well.ă
ăI couldnât sleep well, and when I finally did, you woke me up.ă
Sendai-san complained, and then she laid down on the bed with the penguin in her arms. Her hand stroked the penguinâs head and ruffled its feathers. Then she called me, âMiyagi.â
ăDid you dream about something?ă
Sendai-san blurts out and looks at me.
If it was a dream, I saw it.
But it wasnât the kind of dream I would tell her.
ăI didnât dream.ă
ăReally?ă
ăReally.ă
How could I say that Sendai-san was touching my body in my dream?
ăI thought you might be having weird dreams, Miyagi.ă
Sendai-san says boringly and tugs at my sweatshirt. I slap her hand that grabs the hem of my flats, and instead of leaving, her hand goes inside through the hem and strokes up my side.
ăâŠSendai-san, did you do anything strange while I was sleeping?ă
I peel off the hand that is snugly attached to my skin and sew it to the bed. The fixed hand wriggles and returnsăI didnâtăwith a made-up smile.
Lies.
Itâs absolutely a lie.
I can only assume that this hand is the cause of my strange dreams.
This hand must have done something strange to cause me to dream that I was retracing my past when she touched my body.
ăI want to touch you, Miyagi.ă
Itâs New Yearâs Day, just nine hours and a bit after this year began, and Sendai-san pulls out the hand that secures her to the bed, saying something stupid that makes it seem like itâs the first day of January. Then, when I raised myself up, she grabbed my hand and kissed my fingertips.
ăItâs not touching, itâs kissing, and I didnât say you could kiss me.ă
When I complain, Sendai-sanâs fingertips crawl up my hand and grab my wrist. Her lips stick to the inside of my arm, between the elbow and the wrist, and then leave. Many times her lips come together and separate, and the tip of her tongue traces the veins from my wrist.
ăI didnât even say you could lick me.ă
When she tickled me and I pressed her forehead, Sendai-san looked up.
ăAre you saying itâs okay to touch you?ă
Her fingertips crawl over the veins traced by the tip of her tongue as if to check them.
ăThatâs not what Iâm saying.ă
ăThen, what do you mean?ă
Her lips attach to my neck and she bites me softly.
Pressing on her shoulder, the tip of her tongue is pressed against it and licked up to the bottom of my ear.
When she does this kind of thing on the bed, it reminds me of a dream.
Before I woke up, in the dream, Sendai-sanâs hand stroked my side and touched my chest. Her hands didnât stop there, stroking my hips and crawling under them, the dream blurred and mixed somewhere in my memory.
ăI mean donât do anything weird. Get away from me.ă
I push Sendai-sanâs body and stand up.
I donât want to make my dream a reality.
I donât intend to repeat what happened at Christmas, and I donât want anything more than what we have now. Sendai-sanâs body warmth is comforting, but when we repeat such things, our relationship of roommates becomes blurred, hazy, and fuzzy.
ăNow thatâs like a New Yearâs gift from Miyagi to me.ă
I hear no remorse at all.
ăWhy do I have to give Sendai-san a New Yearâs gift? Iâm going back to my room now.ă
I pull a tissue from the platypusâ back and wipe my neck and wipe my arms.
ăSorry. Stay here.ă
ăI donât want to. Iâm afraid youâre going to do something weird again.ă
ăSo, hereâs the deal. If you stay here, Iâll do what you say, Miyagi.ă
ăI donât have anything I want Sendai-san to do, and I donât want any exchange terms.ă
ăEven though I will obey any order?ă
ăDo you really want to be ordered around so much?ă
ăI want to be made. Just say something.ă
Sendai-san says simply and without hesitation.
I throw the tissue into the trash and look at Sendai-san sitting on the bed.
ăThat, thatâs just perverted.ă
Sheâs the same as last year.
I think sheâs really stupid and itâs no fun to give orders to someone who wants to be ordered around.
ăMiyagi. Donât you want to eat ozoni?ă
Sendai-san, who has been dragging out her troubles for the last year, suddenly comes up with a new proposal.
ăI donât want to eat.ă
ăIâm going to make it now and weâll eat it together. And after we eat, weâll meet in this room.ă
I have no reason to refuse, although my future plans have been decided without my permission. I ate a lot last night, but I am still hungry.
ăâŠI can meet up for lunch if you can cook it for us, Sendai-san.ă