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「What is the reason for a textbook, not a manga, or a novel?」
Sendai-san says as she flips through my contemporary literature textbook.
「Instead of lullabies. It’ll make me sleepy.」
I say a lot of things I don’t want when I’m awake, and I regret it.
If Sendai-san had come yesterday, I would have been able to talk to her with the momentum I summoned, but today, after a day away, I am unable to spin my words properly.
In general, there was no need to call Sendai-san home just because she was confessed by someone.
「Textbooks are lullabies, huh, and if the teacher hears them, she’ll cry.」
Sendai-san turned around and smacked me on the head as I lay in the corner of the textbook, just like a teacher would do.
「It’s worse if you don’t teach interesting lessons.」
I slap her arm back and a teasing voice responds.
「Blaming others is not good.」
「Shut up. Read it quickly.」
「I’ll read it, though. What am I supposed to do when Miyagi goes to bed?」
「Read it in my sleep.」
「Eh—. I think I’m getting sleepy too.」
Sendai-san said in an unmotivated voice and plopped down on the bed.
Her hands touch my body.
Above the flank.
The hand that was on the side tickled me so much that I raised myself up and tugged at Sendai-san:s bangs.
「Sendai-san, don’t go to sleep. Stay awake.」
「Okay, okay.」
Okay, one more time.
Having said that, Sendai-san does not order me to say it twice, but once. Instead I urge her to read it quickly.
「Okay, okay.」
One short reply.
And then a pleasant voice I hear.
We were in the same class, sophomore year, and I heard her voice a lot.
I envied her voices as she read her textbooks without stagnation during class, and I wanted to read my textbooks the same way. Today, too, a clear voice sounds out the words of the textbook without misreading them.
When I close my eyes to the soothing voice, as if I am wrapped in my favorite towelette, I am isolated from the brightly lit room to the dark-colored world. Only Sendai-san’s voice echoes in the darkness where nothing can be seen.
I feel as if I am in a classroom before spring break.
A string of characters written in a textbook flowed into Sendai-san’s voice. The one who’s making me sleep had me sucked into a softer voice than the teacher’s, and consciousness becomes more distant.
I found myself deep asleep, not just dozing off.
I did not dream.
I just woke up feeling like I had fallen asleep for hours.
Quiet room, gradually my head becomes clearer.
I wonder what time it is.
I get up slowly to look at the clock. However, I had to look at Sendai-san’s face before I looked at my clock.
「I told you not to sleep.」
I don’t know when she fell asleep, but she was sleeping next to me.
Not close enough to stick together.
Sendai-san was at the end of the bed, so there was a gap between her and me.
She has taken off her blazer and is sleeping in her socks. Her tie was loosened and two buttons of her blouse were open as usual.
Her lightly made-up face is well put together.
I would say she is beautiful.
I touch Sendai-san’s cheek. If she had stayed up, she would have been angry that her makeup would have been ruined, but I won’t say anything now. I slide my fingertips over and stop my hand at the edge of her mouth.
These fingers have touched her lips.
It has touched the inside of hers.
The feeling of a tongue softer than a cheek comes back.
I recall Sendai-san’s moist tongue licking off my blood.
The tongue pressed against the throbbing wound was warm. Of course, the pain did not subside just because Sendai-san licked the wound. But it felt good to me because she didn’t look so good as she sipped and swallowed the blood as I commanded.
When I was bitten by the wound, the pleasant sensation quickly disappeared and the pain became more intense.
I slide my finger from the edge of the lip and touch around the middle.
I didn’t feel it then, but it was soft like a marshmallow.
I huff and puff and press her lips.
Sendai-san doesn’t respond.
「Say something.」
I think I would like to hear your voice.
I want to hear the voice that denies me.
I don’t hear any voices now that would normally stop me, like telling me to stop, or saying I’m an idiot, or whatever.
That’s why I can’t stop my hand.
From lips to chin.
Further down.
My fingers caress the neck and reach the collarbone.
But there was no sign of Sendai-san waking up.
If I move my finger a little lower, I can directly touch the area where I was told not to put a hickey.
I hesitate, then direct my fingers over the collarbone, following the bone to the shoulder.
Her body was hot, perhaps because she was asleep, when I snuggled my palm against the straps of her bra, which was hidden inside her blouse.
It should have been time to wake up by now, but Sendai-san didn’t even twitch.
My eyes go to the neck.
Another place she told me not to wear a hickey.
I can’t take my eyes off it.
I remove my hands from her shoulders.
When I put my face close to her neck without unbuttoning her blouse, I could smell her sweet scent, perhaps of shampoo.
It’s not the first scent I’ve smelled.
It’s the same smell that came from my pillow the night Sendai-san arrived.
If I bring my face a little closer, the smell becomes stronger and my heart beats a little faster.
A little below the ear.
As I slowly touched it with my lips, the sound of my heart echoed in my head.
I press my lips tightly together as if to disguise the sound of the thumping and thudding.
I felt the soft flesh as I lightly set my teeth and I hurriedly pulled my face away.
I wipe my lips.
Scrubbed it.
As I was wiping it off as if it had just happened, she tugged at my blouse.
「What are you doing?」
When I looked next to her at the muffled voice, I saw that Sendai-san had opened her eyes thinly.
「Nothing」
I said it plainly and tried to distance myself from Sendai-san. But I couldn’t get away from her as much as I wanted to because of the wall behind me.
「Ah, you were trying to do something sexual, right?」
I don’t think she have noticed.
Sendai-san was sleeping.
She just woke up so she don’t know what I did.
——I should.
「I did not.」
I respond clearly to Sendai-san’s laughter in her voice.
「Your face is red.」
Saying this, Sendai-san extended her hand.
My cheeks are not hot.
My heart is still a little loud, but surely, my face is not red.
Her hand touches my cheek. I hit a wall as I try to back away from a hand that is warmer than usual.
Bang.
「Ouch.」
A dull sound echoed through the room and I held my head.
I had forgotten that there was a wall behind me.
But the shock of hitting my head calmed my heart.
「That’s a lie, because it’s red, here.」
I complain to Sendai-san, who is lying down, patting my head.
「Don’t be foolish.」
「That’s not the point, why are you sleeping?」
I lightly kicked Sendai-san’s leg and blamed her for violating my order to continue reading the book.
「I was watching Miyagi sleeping and I found myself wanting to sleep. What time is it now?」
When asked, I looked at the clock and saw that a lot of time had passed.
「It’s almost 8:00 PM.」
「I need more sleep.」
「Wake up now.」
I kick Sendai-san’s leg once more. Then she got up sluggishly, and I saw a modern textbook in the area where her back had been.
「Sendai-san.」
「Nhn? What?」
「It’s broken.」
I take the textbook that had been put down by Sendai-san and shows it to her. The cover, apparently pressed in the back, was neatly creased.
「Ahh— sorry. I fell asleep while reading it. I’m really sorry.」
Sendai-san apologizes with an apologetic look on her face.
「It’s okay, I don’t mind. I don’t care about textbooks.」
The cleaner the better, but I don’t mind if the cover is folded.
This relationship is supposed to last one year.
But Sendai-san seems to be concerned about it.
I hear the word “sorry” again.
「I won’t be using it anytime soon, anyway.」
I carefully put the folded part back and then placed the textbook on the pillow.