Before I know it, this is the last day of summer vacation and Miyagiâs birthday is just around the corner.
About the cake, what shall I do?
I would like to make it myself if I could, but I have never made a cake since I was born, so Iâm not confident that I can make it well without making a prototype. I didnât make much candy, except for making chocolate for friends on Valentineâs Day, and I didnât have anyone I wanted to make a cake for.
I know I donât have to force myself to make a cake.
Still, I have prepared the tools and bought the ingredients to give it a try, but the summer vacation is about to end without being able to make a prototype.
ăIâm willing to give it a try, butâŠă
The person I want to let eat cake with lives in the same house.
I donât mind if Miyagi knows I am making a cake because I donât want to surprise her with a cake so that she doesnât find out, but the problem arises as to what to do with the prototype cake.
I open the refrigerator and look at the milk and eggs, which are nearing their expiration date.
I donât intend to make a big cake, but it wonât be enough for one person to eat. Maybe Miyagi and I could eat it together, but it would be a prototype for the person who wants to eat it, and it would not be fun to serve the same cake on her birthday.
ăI guess I should just buy one.ă
What Miyagi needs for her birthday is not a homemade cake. It doesnât matter what kind of cake it is, the important thing is the two of us will eat a whole cake together. I must make sure that Miyagi doesnât spend her birthday alone and that the rest of the whole cake isnât tucked away in the refrigerator.
I exhale and sit down in my chair.
Even if I donât make a cake, I still havenât decided on a gift.
I remember the cake I had on my birthday and the cat chopstick rest I got the next day.
I knew that she had chosen a cake that she thought I would like, and I could tell that she had chosen the cat chopstick rest with great care. I, like Miyagi, want to celebrate her birthday by worrying and thinking for her.
I look at the door to Miyagiâs room.
She has been in her room since this morning, saying she was going to finish her remaining assignments today, and hasnât come out except to eat.
The sooner she come out, the better.
I canât decide on a gift right now, and if I donât want to bake a cake, thereâs nothing to do today. I can use ingredients I have in the fridge to make some other kind of sweets, but if I am going to make them, I want to make them with Miyagi, not alone.
Normally I wouldâve already knocked on the door and called Miyagi. But I canât do that because Iâve been told she had an assignment to do.
I get up and get a glass out of the cupboard.
I pour myself a cup of barley tea and take a sip, then, as if my wish has been granted, the door opens and Miyagi comes out.
ăDid you finish your assignment?ă
When I ask her to open the refrigerator and take out the cider without a word, she replies in a curt voice,ăIâm done.ă
ăWhat are you doing, Sendai-san?ă
Miyagi said this with a disinterested look on her face, then put the glass on the table and poured the cider.
ăI was thinking about what to make for dinner.ă
Unable to say I was wondering if I should make a cake, I replied by replacing my worries with safe words.
ăWe just had lunch a few minutes ago.ă
ăItâs been over an hour, and I donât think we just ate so much as just now, though.ă
ăThatâs true, butâŠă
Conversations are trivial and may or may not be continued. As if to prove her point, Miyagi put the bottle of cider back in the refrigerator and turned her back to me with the glass.
ăWhat will Miyagi do now?ă
ăI have nothing to doă
Miyagi doesnât look at me.
Since the assignment is finished, I can follow her and ask her to let me into her room. Maybe Miyagi wonât turn me down either. But there is something I would rather do today than go to her room.
ăThen why donât you make cookies?ă
Movies and games are not bad, but sometimes I want to do something different.
ăCookies?ă
ăYes. I thought we could make it together.ă
ăI donât want to.ă
Miyagi looks back and says clearly.
ăWhy?ă
ăI hate cookies.ă
ăHow many times have we eaten it together before?ă
I donât really want to make cookies, so whatever I make is fine. But Iâve never heard that Miyagi doesnât like cookies. Itâs not that I donât like it. When Utsunomiya came to visit, she brought cookies for the two of us to eat together, and Miyagi once served cookies to me.
ăI hate it now.ă
Miyagi blurts out, and gulps down the cider in her hand.
ăCan I ask you why you donât like it?ă
ăWhy do you want to ask me that?ă
ăThere arenât many people who donât like cookies, and there arenât many people who suddenly donât like them.ă
As I answer Miyagiâs voice, I think about why I felt compelled for her answer that she doesnât like it.
Digging through my memory, I recall that I recently ate a cookie.
It was the day after my birthday, and I ate the cookies given to me by my tutoring student, KikyĆ-chan, all by myself. On the day of my birthday, I invited Miyagi to eat the cookies with me, but she refused in a grumpy voice.
Miyagi gets in a bad mood when I talk about my part-time job.
She once asked me to quit my part-time job.
ăI donât need a reason.ă
A low voice is heard.
Her usual grumpy voice.
Cookies are just sweets, a voice that hates something it has no reason to hate.
Could it be.
I almost think about it and immediately deny it to myself.
But thereâs also me who thinks itâs not impossible.
ââI feel like I am jealous of Utsunomiya.
Maybe thatâs what Miyagi has too.
I think some part of Miyagi that wants us to still be roommates may be about to change to something that is not roommate. No, I would like to think so.
ăIn general, why did you suddenly decide to make cookies?ă
Miyagi says in an overtly bad-tempered voice and puts a glass of cider on the table.
ăJust a whim.ă
I want to pursue the reason why she doesnât like cookies, but if I go too far, Miyagi will run away. Even now, sheâs about to return to her room, leaving the cider behind. I grab Miyagiâs hand before she is gone from here. I put my lips on her fingertips and she steps on my foot, not liking it.
ăYou donât have to make it if you kind of want to.ă
ăI donât have to make it, but thereâs no reason why we shouldnât. Letâs make it together.ă
ăI told you I donât like cookies.ă
Miyagi pulls her hand back toward herself and glares at me.
ăIâll eat all the cookies you make.ă
ăWhatâs the point of me making cookies?ă
ăIâm telling you, what do you want to eat, Miyagi? Iâll make that, you tell me.ă
If she says sheâll make something with me that isnât a cookie, thatâs fine. I will put words together to hold her back.
ăWhatever you make, just stay here. Once college starts, we wonât be able to spend as much time together as we do now.ă
Smiling, I take a sip of the cider Miyagi has placed on the table.
The carbonation pops in my mouth and falls into my stomach.
Itâs just cold and I canât really taste it.
Even though Miyagi likes it, I still donât like carbonated drinks.
Still, as I take another sip of cider, I hear a small voice.
ăâŠDo you know how to make it?ă
ăIâm browsing it now.ă
I put the glass of cider back on the table and grabbed her hand again to keep Miyagi from running away. Then I took the phone from the table.