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Chapter 173
What I want to do to Sendai-san for no reason — 173
Translated by KaiesV
Edited by KaiesV
All day long, Sendai-san is in a position where she can be seen.
It’s natural since we live together, but since we have been at home since the summer vacation, we have been spending more time together than before. During the Golden Week holidays, we were home together most of the time, but we shared more time together this time.
In short, Sendai-san is close.
Even now, we would’ve been playing a game together, but Sendai-san has thrown away the controller and attached her shoulder to mine. But I don’t want to move away from her because I feel safe with a part of my body connected to hers.
「Sendai-san, aren’t you going out with your friends?」
I didn’t expect Sendai-san to be home all the time because she wouldn’t only go to her tutoring job but also go out with friends, but she has been spending most of her time outside of her part-time job at home since the beginning of summer vacation.
「I’m not going. I thought you didn’t have plans, Miyagi.」
「I’ve said it before, but no.」
「Same for me. I only have plans to play with Miyagi.」
Sendai-san leans in, saying something that may or may not be true. Her shoulders and arms, which were originally attached to each other, stick together even more tightly, and the touching parts heat up.
「Sendai-san, isn’t it hot?」
It’s always cool in this room.
To put it correctly, the air conditioner works so well that it is cold for me. But since about three days ago, the temperature has been a little higher than usual.
「I’m dressed cool, so I’ll be fine.」
When she said this, Sendai-san stretched out her white leg.
Indeed, I think.
Unlike me, Sendai-san was wearing shorts and looked cool to the touch. When I reached out and touched her thigh, her body shook slightly.
「Is Miyagi getting cold?」
Until now, I would have complained that it was cold or turned up the temperature setting on my own, but this room is Sendai-san’s room, not mine. I should respect her wishes, and if the temperature isn’t high enough to catch a cold, I don’t need complain these days.
Besides, right now, I’d rather have the air conditioner working too hard than too hot. If the temperature is that high, Sendai-san will stick to me right away. And if we were attached, the slightly cold room for me will be just fine.
I thought so, but it didn’t seem to matter to Sendai-san that the temperature was higher than usual, and she easily snuggled up to me even though she was hot.
「It’s Sendai-san’s room, and you can set the temperature whatever you like.」
I slide my hand on her thigh.
I don’t know if it is my palm or Sendai-san’s leg, but it is warm.
「Then I’ll just keep it that way.」
Sendai-san says quietly and takes hold of my hand, which is placed on her thigh. This time I can clearly feel the heat, and our connected hands are a little hot.
「What about the rest of the game?」
I look at the controller, which is still tossed out.
「I can’t win and I’m done. I give up.」
「Then let’s do something else.」
「What else is there to do?」
「You decide, Sendai-san.」
I pull to get my hand back from her grip, and Sendai-san pulls back. I looked at her as she gripped me tightly, and before I could complain, she covered my mouth. Our lips are pressed together to the point where the boundary between me and Sendai-san becomes blurred, and then we slowly move apart.
She kisses me as if it’s natural for her to do so since the summer vacation. I don’t mean to reject that, and I said she could kiss me if not more, but I think it’s too reserved.
「That’s not what I meant by other things. Why are you kissing me so soon?」
「Wouldn’t you like to be?」
Sendai-san says quietly.
「I don’t like it when you say it that way.」
「Then, why don’t you just say that you want to kiss me, Miyagi?」
「That’s not it either.」
「So what do you want me to say?」
「I mean, why do you keep saying weird things to me?」
「Miyagi asked me about it.」
「Even if I did, that’s not what I wanted you to say.」
I extend my leg and kick her ankle, just as Sendai-san did.
「That hurt.」
I kicked her leg again in protest, and her hand, which had been clasped tightly, squeezed my hand.
I look at Sendai-san’s face and she immediately brings her lips to mine and kisses me. But our lips soon parted. I hold her hand back, but our lips are no longer attached.
I kick Sendai-san’s leg and let go of her hand.
It has become natural to be within touching distance of her and to take it for granted that parts of our bodies will cross. It’s normal for Sendai-san to be in my sight, and I even want to keep her locked in my eyes. I am sure it is because Sendai-san does things that make me feel that way, not because I have changed.
——I would like to think so.
The reason she want to kiss me again now is because Sendai-san taught me that she can kiss me for no particular reason. I wasn’t exactly taught, but when I saw Sendai-san kissing me as a matter of course, I felt foolish for looking for a reason to kiss her.
I think Sendai-san is involved in too many things that make up who I am.
Much of what is in me and around me is given to me by Sendai-san. The desire to kiss, the comfortable sensation of human body heat, this house, the roommate relationship, and the earrings wouldn’t have been mine without Sendai-san.
「Miyagi.」
Sendai-san calls me with a soft voice.
「What is it?」
「Aren’t you going to hold my hand?」
「I’m not going hold it any longer.」
I said curtly, and Sendai-san leaned her back against the bed.
Her shoulders, which had been clinging to me, were separated, and one side of my body became lonely.
I think Sendai-san is really mean.
She always holds my hand or sticks to me even when I tell her I don’t want to, but at times like this, she honestly leaves and doesn’t come back. I am not sure what Sendai-san is thinking.
By touching her, I learned things that others may not know, but that didn’t satisfy my desire to know Sendai-san. I would like to know more about Sendai-san than I do now, who interferes too much with the person I am. If I don’t get to know her, the uneasiness that disappeared that day and came back again won’t disappear.
I don’t want to have to think about the possibility that Sendai-san might become closer to Maika than I am and we might meet alone together, or that she might become close to someone I don’t know and bring her to this house.
「Sendai-san.」
I tap the back of her hand on the floor with a peck.
「What?」
「Hand.」
I placed my hand on Sendai-san’s thigh.
What is in my head cannot be conveyed unless I say it out loud.
So, even if I can’t do everything, I try to say at least part of what I’m thinking, but I don’t think it’s going very well. And I don’t think I can do this for much longer. Even now, my shoulders are tense and my head feels heavy like a stone on the back of my head, and it’s a little painful.
Even things that are easy to do with other people, the difficulty level jumps when I was dealing with Sendai-san. Like a game that she can’t clear, it feels difficult to just tell her what I was thinking.
「This is what you mean?」
Sendai-san takes my hand in her and puts her lips to my cheek without me asking.
「Miyagi.」
Sendai-san calls me with a voice that seems to convey his body temperature. I feel as if her body heat, which is pouring in from our joined hands, is passing through my skin, and even the blood flowing through my veins is getting hotter.
Slowly I look at Sendai-san and she kisses me for the first of many times today. But her lips quickly part and her hand is hotter. Sendai-san’s fingers move to tickle the back of my hand, and when I squeeze her hand back, she kisses me repeatedly just to touch me.
I am not lying when I say that she can kiss me as long as it is not more, but I don’t know how much I should allow her to do. I haven’t clearly decided that this is as far as I want to go, so there’s a lot of noise in my head as I argue between me wanting to allow it to go as far as it will and me wanting to stop it immediately.
The boundary line between me and Sendai-san has been like a dotted line since the last time I was here, and she is coming in through the gap. What is definitely creating a break in the line of connection is my feelings toward Sendai-san, which is something I don’t really want to admit.
After all, I don’t want to create something special that I wouldn’t want to lose.
If possible, I want to tie up the disconnected parts and make them back into a single line. But I know that it was difficult.
I push Sendai-san’s shoulder to continue kissing her.
「We’re done now.」
I told her clearly, and Sendai-san suddenly said,「Don’t you want to eat some ice cream?」and looked at me.
「I ate it yesterday and that was the end of it.」
「I mean, let’s go to the convenience store to buy some.」
Sendai-san releases the hand she was holding and stands up.
「Whoever wants to eat it should go buy it.」
「That’s fine. Let’s go together.」
Sendai-san bent down and grabbed my hand, which she had just let go.