ăItâs different from what I imagined. I thought it was more like a college girlâs room.ă
As soon as she entered my room, Utsunomiya said a line that I have heard somewhere before.
ăMiyagi said something similar.ă
The me from Utsunomiyaâs mind would still be the same me from high school who was in tune with Umina, so it would not be surprising if she gave me the same impression as she did last year like Miyagi. Iâm not making myself that much of a college student right now, so Iâd like to update my image in her if possible.
ăWhat did Shiori say about something similar?ă
ăWhat did I say?ă
Miyagi says annoyed and sits down at the table with a plate with his pancake on it and a glass of iced tea.
I carried my own portion.
Then Utsunomiya and I, who carried the plates and glasses to this room, put what we brought on the table in the same way. Then I sat diagonally in front of Miyagi and Utsunomiya sat across from me.
ăShe came to my house last year during summer vacation and told me she thought the room looked like a high school girlâs room.ă
I say something that Miyagi would not have wanted me to say.
Utsunomiya knows that Miyagi and I have been close since high school. And since the story goes that we were teaching each other to study, itâs not surprising that we went back and forth to each otherâs homes.
The more lies were made, the more likely they are to fall apart.
Itâs better to talk about things that wouldnât be a big problem to talk about than to hide them in a strange way.
When I look at Miyagi, sheâs looking at me with disgruntled eyes, but I pretend not to notice.
ăIf you two were close enough to visit each otherâs homes, you should have told me sooner.ă
ăSurely if I had told you earlier, the three of us could have had pancakes sooner. Right, Miyagi?ă
ăThatâs right.ă
Miyagi smiles vaguely and asks,ăCan I have some pancakes?ăNot wanting to keep pestering her, I asked herăif you wanted to eat before it gets cold,ăand she replied,ăItadakimasu,ăfrom both of us.
ăOhâ itâs very fluffy. Delicious.ă
Utsunomiya takes a bite of her pancake and smiles at me from across to me.
ăThanks. If it tastes good, then Iâm glad.ă
I say a small âItadakimasuâ and put the knife into the pancake.
ăShiori told me that Sendai-san is a good cook. Do you like to cook?ă
ăItâs not that I like cooking. But Miyagi, did you say that?ă
Good at cooking.
I didnât know Miyagi thought of me that way.
To begin with, I had never properly asked Miyagi what she thought of me. I had never heard the specific words, only learning the other day that she thought I looked like a Borzoi.
ăShiori told me about it on the way here.ă
ăHeh. You donât usually say things like that.ă
I looked at Miyagi diagonally in front of me and saw a subtle look on her face, not wrinkled between the eyebrows but with temples that could have been twitching.
ăIâve told you many times that itâs delicious.ă
Miyagi says wildly, and Utsunomiya chuckles.
Utsunomiyaâs words are true, as I donât deny that I am a good cook.
Miyagi was praising me in front of other people.
It makes me feel strange to think so.
I bring the fluffy pancake to my mouth.
The sweetness of maple syrup soaked into the soft pancakes is comforting. I take another bite and look at Miyagi. She is eating pancakes too, but she doesnât say they are good. I wish she would.
They talk about the best parfait stores and recent purchases, while I bring the pancakes to my mouth. Miyagi smiles at Utsunomiya with a smile Iâve seen in high school. Just as my hands stopped eating the pancakes because of that smile, which wasnât directed at me, Utsunomiya opened her mouth.
ăOh, right. Sendai-san, are you dating anyone?ă
Topics that never come up when Iâm alone with Miyagi come up.
ăI donât have any. Does Utsunomiya have one?ă
ăI donât have them as well. What about Shiori?ă
ăYou know I donât have any. Why did you ask?ă
ăBecause thatâs the way it goes.ă
Utsunomiya says with a smile.
Iâm glad sheâs the star of todayâs show and seems to be enjoying herself, but I have a feeling that her enjoyment is being traded for Miyagiâs longevity. And itâs not good for my heart either.
ăI donât need one. Thatâs the way it goes.ă
Miyagi sighs one sigh and takes a sip of her iced tea.
Iâve never had this kind of conversation with Miyagi before, so itâs a new experience for me, but Iâm a little nervous that I might hear something she doesnât want to hear. But something else comes to mind that I would like to ask.
Things I donât usually get a chance to ask.
If I heard it, I wish I hadnât.
Such words go round and round in my head.
ăThen, any people you like?ă
My heart thudded as what I wanted to hear came out of Utsunomiyaâs mouth, not mine.
ăYou know. That personâs not here.ă
Miyagi responds immediately.
Iâm relieved and disappointed at the same time to hear the answer as I had thought it would be. If she doesnât like someone, then there is no possibility that she even like me. I know, and even if she said theyâre here, I donât think itâs me, which makes me depressed about who they might be. Either way, it was discouraging, so I still think it wouldâve been better to remain unaware.
ăDonât you have someone you like, Sendai-san?ă
Utsunomiya stares at me.
Well, sheâs going to ask me if this is the way itâs going to go.
Iâm in trouble, I thought.
If I said they were there, it would be troublesome, and I donât want to say theyâre not there where Miyagi is.
ăWhat about Utsunomiya?ă
In the meantime, Iâll return the question with a question.
Miyagi would complain, but I donât think Utsunomiya would complain to me, with whom I am not yet that close.
ăNone.ă
ăOkay. Do you always talk like this with Miyagi?ă
ăNot that Iâm saying this, but I was wondering what you would do if someone had a lover sharing a room.ă
ăWe have rules about sharing a room, but we didnât decide what to do when someone have a lover. Maybe we should set those rules, too.ă
I donât want those rules, because I donât want the day to come when we need such rules. But I couldnât bring myself to tell Utsunomiya that, so I kind of went on with the story and asked Miyagi for her agreement, to which she replied,ăIndeed.ă
ăI guess there are rules after all.ă
Utsunomiya said sincerly that she was satisfied, and the conversation was cut short.
After eating the rest of the pancakes and looking at Miyagi, she stood up as if remembering.
ăIâm going to the toilet.ă
Miyagi told Utsunomiya to run away from me.
I know how she felt.
If things continue as they are, Miyagi will be hit by another stray bullet.
ăTake care.ă
Continuing this conversation, both Miyagi and I are likely to be seriously injured, so we maturely send Miyagi off.
Now, I am alone with Utsunomiya.
What should we talk about?
I pull a nearby platypus tissue cover and pat its head, looking for a bland topic. Then Utsunomiya said,ăAhh!ă
ăThat looks like something I would find in Shioriâs room. Do you like that kind of thing, Sendai-san?ă
ăThis platypus was chosen by Miyagi.ă
Popping and banging the head of the tissue cover.
ăThatâs why I felt itâs like Shiori.ă
In my mindâs eye, I see the crocodile tissue covers I saw so many times in high school. I have no idea if that tissue cover is in Miyagiâs room now. But when Utsunomiya, who had been in Miyagiâs room earlier, casually said, âI felt itâs like Shiori,â I think she saw that crocodile in Miyagiâs room.
I wanted to see for myself what was going on in the Miyagi room, which is an unopened room for me, but I had no choice. Itâs not Utsunomiyaâs fault and I still donât know if the crocodile is still there or not.
ăYou two are closer than I thought you would be.ă
Utsunomiya looked at the platypus and added,ăShe had those things in her room.ă
ăEnough so that we share a room.ă
ăThatâs true. You two share a room, so both of you were close.ă
Utsunomiya then drank half a cup of iced tea before looking at me.
ăSendai-san is easier to talk to than I expected. In high school, you were a bit difficult to approachâŠă
ăThatâs because Umina was by my side.ă
ăWell, thatâs true.ă
I knew it.
For better or worse, Umina was the flamboyant and conspicuous type, so she was shunned by some students. I think sheâs a friendly person, but she doesnât follow the school rules and was also noticed by the teachers, so itâs no wonder that she thought it was difficult to talk to me with her like that.
ăSendai-san, did you teach Shiori to study, right?ă
Utsunomiya changes the subject, perhaps concerned that she has come to speak ill of Umina.
ăIt was a thank you for loaning me money. I wasnât planning on teaching her for that long, but Miyagi, being the type of person who isnât around, made it interesting.ă
ăAhh, thatâs true. Ibaraki-san and Shiori are completely different, arenât they?ă
ăI read a lot of manga in Miyagiâs room. And there was very little in Uminaâs room.ă
ăShioriâs room is full of them.ă
Utsunomiya says with a smile.
I read most of the manga in Miyagiâs room, which was very cozy back then. I still sometimes read manga in her room, but that is something Miyagi brings to my room and I have never picked it out directly from the bookshelf.
ăAnd so you two became friends until you shared a room.ă
ăI was also a bit nervous about living alone. I didnât expect her to say she lived with her relatives.ă
ăI didnât think Shiori was living with Sendai-san either.ă
In a cheerful voice, she adds,ăI was surprised.ăThen Utsunomiya let out a small breath.
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She looked at me as if she wanted to say something and then lowered her eyes.
After taking a larger breath than she had exhaled, Utsunomiya said quietly.
ăâŠTo tell you the truth, I was shocked to hear that Shiori and Sendai-san were living together. Shiori had never said anything like that, and I felt like I was being left out. I know this kind of thing is childish.ă
Utsunomiya, was laughing, she laughed in annoyance and looked at me and apologized, saying,ăIâm sorry I said something weird.ă
ăI donât think itâs childish. If the same thing happened to me, Iâd feel like Iâd lost a friend.ă
Iâm the one who is really childish.
I couldnât be honestly happy that Utsunomiya was coming to this house, even though I told her she could come, and I told Utsunomiya to go to Miyagiâs room, but I didnât say it from the bottom of my heart.
If I could, I would tell her how I felt, just as Utsunomiya did, but that is not an option. I canât tell her why I couldnât be honestly happy about coming home, or why I couldnât say from the bottom of my heart that she should go to Miyagiâs room. There is no way I can talk about my feelings here and now that I have not even told her.
I tell her instead what I had planned to say when Utsunomiya arrived today.
ăAbout calling me. Itâs fine to call me, Hazuki.ă
Miyagi stubbornly does not call me by my first name, but most of my friends call me Hazuki. So I would like Utsunomiya to call me Hazuki. I feel that by having her call me that, I can be closer to them than I am now.
ââIn short, I want to get to know her so well that I will no longer be jealous of Utsunomiya.
Itâs a bit calculating, but thatâs not all.
I thought we seemed to hit it off and could be friends. And I wanted to get to know Utsunomiya again after she shared her true feelings with me.
ăNhnâă
Utsunomiya gave a small groan and then straightened her back.
ăShiori hasnât called you Hazuki, and I think I would call you like that Sendai-san until Shiori does. Sendai-san is the one who should call me by my name.ă
She says it with a serious face, and I respond sincerely to her for taking it seriously.
ăI wonder if I want to call you Utsunomiya until the day Utsunomiya calls me Hazuki.ă
ăOkay, so thatâs what Iâll do.ă
Utsunomiya clapped her hands to conclude the conversation. And then she called me, âSendai-san.â
ăWhat is it?ă
ăDo you think we get along?ă
ăOf course.ă
When I replied, Utsunomiya said,ăIâm glad.ăAs we both chuckled, the door opened and Miyagi appeared.
ăWhat were you two talking about?ă
Miyagi sits diagonally in front of us and looks at us alternately.
ăAbout Miyagiâs secret⊠I wish it had been, but it was a story about teaching Miyagi to study in high school or something like that.ă
ăMaika, is that true?ă
Miyagi asks Utsunomiya, keeping her doubtful gaze on me.
ăItâs true, itâs true. We didnât talk much.ă