ăShiori, are you sure you donât want to go home?ă
Across the table, Maika shifts her gaze from her phone to me.
ăYeah.ă
Iâd better go home soon.
I know.
But I donât want to go home today.
On Monday, the awkwardness over Sundayâs events was the only reason I escaped, but not now. The time spent without returning has accelerated the difficulty of meeting.
ăThe person youâre fighting with, Iâm sure that person is pretty worried about you.ă
ăI know that well.ă
Today I received another message from Sendai-san asking when I would be back. The messages from her that arrive on my phone always show that she is worried about me, and every time I see her message I know I have to go home. And I wonder how Sendai-san is spending her days without me.
I think she should be going to college, attending lectures, and talking with friends as usual, and I think she should be doing so, but I also think she should be being a different girl than usual. Even her part-time job, which is supposed to be today, I wish she had taken a day off.
I hate myself for thinking that way, and I feel like I have to leave early, but I canât leave, which makes me hate myself even more. I also hate myself for only moving in the direction of causing trouble, even though I know I canât cause any more trouble for Maika either.
ăIs it really just a fight when you donât leave like this?ă
Maika looks at me intently.
ăItâs just a fight.ă
If you tell one lie, you will tell several lies to protect that lie. Considering the weight of the lies I have told Maika so far and the weight of the lies I will tell her in the future, I should at least tell her that my roommate is Sendai-san. But it seems terribly difficult to cut that part out and convey it alone.
ăShioriâŠă
ăWhat is it?ă
ăâŠIs there anything you want to say to me?ă
Maika says in a rather serious voice.
ăThereâs none, but why do you ask?ă
I drink orange juice along with my new lie.
ăItâs nothing. Well, both of you better make up properly.ă
ăYeah.ă
I know that the current situation is not good. I know that if left alone, my relationship with Sendai-san may break down.
In high school, Sendai-san connected me to a relationship that seemed to be broken.
After covering her in popcorn and pouring cider on her.
After she tried to kiss me and turned her away.
Sendai-san forcefully closed the distance I had created.
But this time, I have to shorten the distance I created by myself.
Even if I canât do it today, I should leave tomorrow.
I agree.
I take a sip of my orange juice and pick up my phone. I think about sending a message to Sendai-san, but my fingers donât move. As I was unable to type a few words about leaving tomorrow, the chime rang and Maika stood up.
ăAh, you came. Iâm going out for a minute. Shiori, stay there.ă
I feel uncomfortable with Maikaâs words, as if she was waiting for someone.
She didnât order delivery, and itâs not the time for a courier to come.
ăâŠIs it a friend?ă
ăMaybe thatâs whatâs going to happen now.ă
Not a friend now, but someone who may become a friend in the future.
I canât imagine the person who asked. Generally, itâs not the time for someone youâre not that close to to come over and play with you.
The room has no partitions, and if I move my body a little, I can see the front door. As I float up, curious as to who has asked, I heard a familiar voice.
ăIâll be back soon, so this is fine.ă
I stand up involuntarily.
I see the other side of Maika, the face I didnât want to see.
ăIf you two discuss it at the door, itâs not good for the neighbors, come in.ă
ăâŠThen, sorry for intruding.ă
Why?
How?
It is impossible for Sendai-san to come here.
My hands and feet are getting cold.
ăMiyagi, Iâm here to pick you up.ă
Sendai-san chuckled.
ăââMaika.ă
The situation was so incomprehensible that I looked at Maika, who welcomed Sendai-san as a matter of course.
ăSendai-san and I met at the university and I told her she should come to my house.ă
ăâŠEh?ă
I donât understand.
Why would Sendai-san and Maika be meeting at the university?
How can they go from there to saying that she should come to her house?
I have no idea.
But I donât know what to say, because if I say something bad, she might find out something she shouldnât. No, the fact that Sendai-san came here means that she probably knows at least one thing that shouldnât be found out. I donât know how or why this happened, but I should assume that she knows that I am connected to Sendai-san. I would run away from here if I could, but Sendai-san and Maika are in my way to get to the entrance.
ăMiyagi didnât return home anytime soon. I went looking for you at the university and ran into Utsunomiya, and this is what happened.ă
ăI thought you said this wasâŠă
Iâm in trouble.
I donât want this situation.
My head is like a switch turned off, refusing to think, refusing to accept this situation.
ăSendai-san, you approached me and said you were looking for Shiori at the university, so I brought you here. I thought we should talk about it, no?ă
Maika says as a matter of course.
I try to piece together the information that is being nitpicked from the two of them, but I canât make a good connection. All I can understand is the unacceptable fact that there are two people together who should not be together.
ăâŠMaika, you never said anything about Sendai-san coming.ă
ăI asked her to keep quiet. Miyagi, if you heard I was coming, youâd be gone, right?ă
If I had known Sendai-san was coming, I wouldnât be here and even now I want to get out of here. I think itâs terrible that she read my actions and kept quiet to Maika. I am not sure how much of what was revealed, but I wanted to tell Maika myself if possible.
ââI donât know when it happened, though.
ăIâll tell you the details at home, so why donât we just go home?ă
Sendai-san says without breaking into a smile.
I had to leave, but my mind couldnât catch up with the situation. As I was unable to move my body, Sendai-san approached me. And she grabbed my arm.
ăNâă
I swallow my words, trying to keep her away with a strong tone of voice. This is Maikaâs house, and Maika is watching. I donât know what Maika would say if I said I didnât want to do it as strongly as usual.
ăWhy donât you sit down and talk to her?ă
Maika says lazily and sits down to ease the delicate atmosphere between me and Sendai-san.
ăBut still, Shiori is terrible, isnât she? She lies about living with relatives.ă
Maika continues her words by saying in a rather gentle voice that she is terrible.
ăAnd you lied when you said you didnât get along with Sendai-san back in high school.ă
ăâŠSorry.ă
It seems that at least Maika knows that Sendai-san is my roommate. I would like to know what else Sendai-san told her, but considering the lie I told Maika, I should apologize first. I think you should apologize as often as I can. But the lie has been exposed in a way I never imagined, and the fact that there are people here I never expected doesnât allow me to say it well.
ăWell, I have a lot to say, but Iâll ask you about that again, so for now, sit down.ă
Unable to resist Maikaâs words, I sat down meekly. Diagonally in front of me, Sendai-san also sat quietly, and Maika coughed deliberately.
ăThen, you two can make up right here and now.ă
ăEh?ă
The story unfolds again in a direction I hadnât considered, and I canât help but speak up.
ăEh, was it not? Shiori, you had a fight with Sendai-san, didnât you?ă
She asked me to confirm it, and I nodded, remembering the lie I had told.
ăSendai-san, I invited you here to make things right, to talk things over, to shake hands, and to go home together.ă
ăEh, shake hands?ă
This time, Sendai-san asks back.
ăYou donât have to do that, but you two should get along and go home together. I donât want Shiori to continue to live in this house.ă
Maika looks at me and smiles.
It somehow creates a friendly mood and makes me feel a little more relaxed, but there is also an air of fear that something could break down at any moment, which scares me a little.
ăThe discussion, it can go on for a long time. Sendai-san, would you like something to drink?ă
ăThank you for the offer. But weâre going home soon, so I donât need it. If I wanted, I could get one from Miyagi.ă
ăIâm not giving you a sip.ă
When she assured her and pulled the glass containing the orange juice I was about to drink, Sendai-san naturally said,ăIâll take a sip,ăand drank my orange juice. Normally, I would have complained, but I could not say that in front of Maika, so I held my tongue.
ăWere you the pushy type, Utsonomiya?ă
Sendai-san puts down my glass and looks at Maika.
ăUsually Iâm different, but this time I have to be forceful. There are so many things I havenât heard, and I donât understand them. What is this situation after having called Sendai-san myself? I wouldnât believe you if you told me in high school that these members would gather at your house.ă
ăNo one could have predicted this situation, could we?ă
Maika responded to Sendai-sanâs words with,ăRight,ăand I wanted to hold my head in my hands at the unrealistic sight. I didnât want to see this kind of scene, even though it was brought on by my own lies.
ăMiyagi. Can we go home today? If thereâs anything you want to say, Iâll hear it at home.ă
It is unbearable that this delicate atmosphere, both harmonious and not so harmonious, continues, but I canât say I am going home.
ăShiori. You donât have to leave, but if you stay, Iâll be asking you questions until morning.ă
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Unmute
ăThatâs that. Miyagi, what are you going to do?ă
The ultimate two choices suddenly appear, and I gulp down my orange juice, feeling Maikaâs eyes on me.
ăâŠIâll go home.ă
Maika replies,ăNever mind then,ăand hands me my luggage. I stand up, too, because I canât leave now that Iâve made my choice.
ăUtsonomiya. Thanks. You helped me.ă
Sendai-san says in a friendly way, and Maika replies in a friendly way,ăItâs alright.ăI donât know if they are really close or just on the surface, but itâs not very interesting. I feel as if Sendai-san was taken by Maika and vice-versa.
Feeling unsettled, I head for the entrance with Sendai-san. Sendai-san thanks Maika once again and puts on her shoes. I also tell Maika,ăIâm sorry for staying here for so many days, thank you.ăSendai-san walked out, and as I was about to leave with my bag, she tugged at my clothes,ăShiori.ă
ăI wonât ask you today, but youâll have to tell me properly later why youâre living with Sendai-san.ă
If possible, please donât ask me for the rest of my life.
I think so, but there is no way I can allow that to happen.
ăâŠI understand.ă
I pushed the words I didnât want to say out of my throat and then walked out.