CH 142

Chapter 142

I want to know everything about Miyagi — 142

Translated by KaiesV

Edited by KaiesV

It’s not so strongly forceful.

Just a light, slow push.

But Miyagi’s back touches the bed easily, as if the exchange that took place earlier was a lie.

「…What are you going to do now?」

Looking up at me, Miyagi says probingly.

「Will you forgive me if I say so?」

I finger comb Miyagi’s hair.

When I picked up a tuft and tried to put my lips on it, she pressed my forehead.

「I don’t think I’ll ever forgive you.」

「Guess so. That’s why I’m asking you.」

「…Me and Sendai-san are roommates, right?」

「We’re roommates. Always have been and always will be.」

「Liar. What Sendai-san wants to do isn’t what roommates do.」

「It doesn’t matter if my roommate does it?」

The term “roommate” only refers to those who live in the same house, not to what they do, and nothing I do from now on will change that relationship. I know this is sophistry, but if Miyagi needs the word roommate, I would like to leave it.

「——What if I don’t forgive you?」

I would like to move on even if I am not allowed to.

But I also want to give up if Miyagi really doesn’t want to.

I can put up with her being grumpy or not smiling, but I don’t want to be strongly rejected or disliked.

「I will never do this kind of thing to Miyagi again. Not while we live together, and not even when we no longer live together. I will never do this.」

「You say you’ll never do it, but then you break your promise, am I wrong?」

Miyagi stared at me with a look that said she didn’t know what I was thinking.

「I won’t break it. I swear on these piercings.」

I touch the mark I put on Miyagi with my own hand, a small silver piercing. I put my lips to it, which only seems special, and then whisper in her ear.

「I promise you.」

「That’s just another random promise anyway. Sendai-san, you’re so quick to lie.」

「Did I sound like I was making it sound like it was random? That’s the kind of piercing I’m looking for. I never break my word.」

I kiss the little ornament again and bite lightly on the earlobe.

Miyagi touches my hair and crawls her fingers into my ear. She touched my earlobe as if I had one even though I didn’t have a piercing, but slowly pushed my shoulder to keep me away. It seemed to me that this was only her intention not to allow me to do what I was about to do, and I removed myself from her.

「…The lights.」

Miyagi said in a voice so small that I might miss.

「Eh?」

「Turn them off.」

I was about to give up when I heard a voice I didn’t expect to hear, and forgetting to answer, I got off the bed. When I used the remote control on the table to turn off the lights and leave only the nightlight on, Miyagi angrily told me to turn off everything. I do as I am told and turn off the nightlight as well. The room is now completely dark with no more unreliable light, and I quietly return to Miyagi.

「Miyagi.」

In the darkness, where the contours seem to melt away, I reach out and touch her who doesn’t answer and bring her body closer to me. Miyagi’s hand grabbed my clothes as she stroked my hair and brushed her lips over mine.

She drops several kisses on my temple, on my cheeks, and on my ears.

In a pitch-dark room, I feel disconnected from the outside world, but I know that once I step outside, there are more people than I can sweep away, and I don’t feel as if I am alone in this world with Miyagi. But it’s just me and Miyagi here, and no one can disturb us. Nothing like last summer vacation will happen. If it does happen, I have no intention of stopping in the middle of it again.

I strongly think so, but Miyagi under my body is so quiet that I feel uneasy.

「Hey, Miyagi. I won’t answer the doorbell when it rings. I won’t answer the phone when it rings, and I won’t let Miyagi pick up the phone. But we can stop now… Can I keep going on like this, Miyagi?」

I ask before all reason melts away and disappears.

「Shut up, Sendai-san. If you’re going to do it, do it without telling me.」

I hear a soft voice and I am bitten on the neck. The pain is in a place close to the shoulder, but it seems to be moderate and not enough to make me want to scream as I usually do. Gulping, her teeth sink into the flesh, then quickly pull away and release. In return, I bite her chin sweetly and she pushes my shoulder, and I bite my teeth hard into her neck. Miyagi pushes me as if she doesn’t like it. When she moves, I was dizzy from the scent of her shampoo, which is different from usual and smells very sweet.

I stroke her hair, which seems to assimilate with the darkness, and move my fingers to trace the shape of her ears. Above the earlobe, I put the tip of my tongue on the piercing and lick it up as if to check the feel of the bone, going straight up. I put my tongue in the ear and Miyagi pulled my hair. It was still rough, but not forceful.

「It’s tickling me.」

I can hear the discontent in her voice.

「Just bear with it.」

I told her a few words, licked her ear, and she kicked me in the leg.

「That hurt a little…」

「Because Sendai-san won’t stop.」

「I’m not going to stop. Why don’t you be a little quiet?」

I stroke her ears and bite them sweetly.

「I told you, it’s tickl——」

In the middle of her words, Miyagi gasped as she strained her chewed teeth.

I kissed her under the ear and licked her neck. We walk outside, the room is hot, she should be sweating, but it feels sweet like licking nectar from a flower. Maybe it’s the shampoo, maybe it’s because I’m so out of my mind that my senses are going haywire.

I crawl my tongue to the indentation on the neck and bite it loosely as if I were tasting Miyagi. I stroked the sides over her clothes and then went down. When I snuck my hand through the hem of her sweatshirt to directly touch her side, I could feel Miyagi’s body heat and breathing through her sweaty skin as my hand sucked on it. Wanting to feel her more, I pressed my hand down harder and grab her arm to touch her ribs as I rolled up her clothes.

「If you take off my clothes, I’ll get angry.」

「Don’t worry. I’m not gonna take it off.」

When I said this, Miyagi’s hand leaves.

I stroked the soft area around the bottom of the ribs.

Miyagi didn’t say anything when I move my hand loosely, but the darkness is disturbing me and I can’t make out her expression. I think she was just embarrassed by the act of having something that hides her body removed. I would like to think so.

I crawl my fingers to the center of her body, her navel, and work my way up to the top of it. When I willingly touched her underwear to prevent her sweatshirt from rolling up any further, she grabbed my arm again.

「What is it?」

「I said I didn’t want you to take it off.」

「I won’t undress you. I’m just gonna touch it.」

I kissed her on the cheek and whispered.

I want to take her underwear out, but I want to respect Miyagi’s wishes.

「…You can’t.」

Miyagi says in a quiet voice.

「No need to undress you?」

「No need to undress me off.」

His voice was neither strong nor cold, and I’m not sure if she really meant it.

The truth is her chest, her back, and her hips,

And everything else,

I want to touch everything in Miyagi and kiss everything.

I hope she will allow me to do so.

But I don’t want to do anything that Miyagi doesn’t want me to do. My desire and Miyagi’s hope are opposites, and if I put the two on a scale, it will tilt in favor of Miyagi’s hope.

「…Alright.」

I replied in a small voice, and the strength left Miyagi’s hand, and I took my hand out of her clothes. Still, when I touched her chest through her sweatshirt, which might be allowed over her clothes, Miyagi grabbed my hand tightly.

I was squeezed tightly, but she doesn’t seem to dislike it.

But I don’t want to be told no again.

I let out a small breath and then put my lips on her neck and suck hard. But soon I was hit on the back.

「I don’t even want you to leave a mark.」

I am tempted to ask Miyagi, who has so many orders, why she allowed me to be there. But I can predict that this time will probably end the moment I ask the question.

「Is kissing okay, right?」

I ask in passing, but there is no reply.

That being forgiven, I cover Miyagi’s lips and insert my tongue. The softness of her lips is touched by a hard tooth, and I touch the tip of Miyagi’s tongue. I poke her lightly, and she responds, though not aggressively. It was soft yet hard and warm, it takes my thoughts away with the slightest movement. A slimy tongue tangles with it, and I don’t know how to breathe.

I don’t know how only Miyagi can melt my reason.

I don’t even know why I want to kiss her so badly.

Still, my body moves of its own accord, biting and licking Miyagi’s lips, kissing her again and again. Miyagi’s breathing becomes erratic, and mine becomes shallow. But more than this suffocating feeling, I strongly feel the pleasant sensation of our body temperatures mingling with each other’s. Miyagi’s breathing breaks off briefly and is mixed with an inarticulate voice. Her erratic breathing heightens me, and I can’t help but want to move on quickly.

I parted my lips and intertwined my fingers with Miyagi’s.

Perhaps it’s because it’s dark and I can’t seem to see Miyagi, but the sensation in my hands is acute. It feels good just to touch her.

I put my lips on her cheek and kiss her ear again.

I untangled our intertwined fingers, rolls up her sweatshirt, and puts her lips on her soft belly as well.

When I kiss her, I’ll put my lips on all the places I am allowed so that Miyagi will remember all the places I touched today. Tickling and stroking leave no trace.

When I stroked her hipbone and slid my hand up her skirt, Miyagi’s body shuddered and she pushed my shoulder.

I stop my hand and look at Miyagi, blurred in the darkness.

I don’t hear her say she doesn’t want to.

「Miyagi…」

When I call her out quietly, her fingers clench on my shoulder.

She doesn’t complain. The fingers gripping my shoulder are not so much resistance.

What are we going to do now?

I think we know and we are just lost.

I understand Miyagi’s hesitation, but there was another event last summer that made me predict this would happen.

「You’ll forgive me, won’t you?」

I ask in as gentle a voice as possible, and the hand on my shoulder moves away.

「Sendai-san is a pervert」

「I’m fine being one.」

I pull up her half-lifted skirt even further and run my fingers up Miyagi’s thighs.

I think it is too hasty to touch on that now.

But Miyagi won’t let me touch other places, so I have no choice.

Learn more

Pause

Unmute

Inhale and exhale to regulate my disordered breathing.

After running my hands over her underwear, I notice my fingernails.

I don’t know what’s going on with my nails because I didn’t expect this to happen. I’m sure it won’t be that long, but I’m wondering if there is anything I can do to make it hurt.

When I was lost, Miyagi’s body moves in a small way.

I feel as if she might run away, so I put my hand inside her underwear. I have never touched such a place on another person before, and no, there is no way I would have, but I am nervous. My body, which had been moving on its own earlier, was slow as if its batteries had run out. As I quietly and gently advanced my hand, I came to a place that felt different and hotter than any other place in Miyagi I had ever touched, and my fingertips were moistened with something slimy.

My heart is beating so fast I feel like it’s going to break, and the core of my head is as hot as that place in Miyagi. I move my fingers just a little, fearfully.

「Nhn!」

I hear a wet, sweet little voice and stop myself. It was obviously a different voice than usual, and I was so surprised that my heart almost skipped a beat.

「…I knew it, you can’t.」

Miyagi says in a voice I might miss.

But the reaction that comes through my fingertips is one that I know she doesn’t dislike. Maybe it was just her body reacting to being touched, and the same thing would happen if someone else touched me, but what is now at the tip of my fingers is the result of allowing herself to be touched, and Miyagi will never know how much it pleases me.

Under the circumstances, there is no way to stop even if she say “no”.

「——Let me know if I can’t.」

I crawled my moist fingers to the most sensitive part of Miyagi and moves them slowly as if stroking.

Miyagi no longer makes a sound.

Instead, her breathing becomes rougher to match my gently moving fingers. I feel Miyagi’s body heat like I have never felt before. My fingers feel as if they are melting, hotter than anything I have touched today, and even the breath I exhale is so hot that it burns my throat. Naturally, my fingertips tighten, and Miyagi’s body makes a small movement. A thickening mixture of mutual emotions clings to my fingers and makes me want to know the depths where no one has ever touched her before.

Just a few more.

A few more slides of my fingers and I would know the Miyagi I do not know. Miyagi’s ragged breathing caresses my cheeks and ears erratically. Emotions that I don’t know where they have been hiding try to push me forward, but I force myself to stop my gently moving fingers.

「Sen… da… i-sa…n…?」

Miyagi calls me with a gravelly voice.

The voice I have never heard before draws me in, and I am tempted to slip my finger there, where it leads to Miyagi’s deepest place. But I am afraid that if I do that, Miyagi will run away.

「Are you alright?」

I asked in a small voice, and Miyagi grabbed my clothes and pulled them on as if to reply.

I couldn’t see her expression clearly.

I don’t want to be stripped of this hand trying to find out everything I want to know. I will move my stopped hand as far as it would be allowed.

I think she should at least call me Hazuki.

I know it’s a wish that will never come true, but I want her to call me Hazuki and I want to call her Shiori with a sweet voice that she doesn’t usually let me hear. If that doesn’t work, I want to pry open her drawn lips and her teeth that would have been bitten down and hear Miyagi swallowing.

But I know that none of them will forgive me.

Then we should enjoy what is allowed.

I understand.

But I want to be forgiven more.

I want to see Miyagi change by my hands, and I want her voice to be heard only by me, and I want her to be more disturbed.

I will continue to do so, wherever this goes.

Forgive me for thinking this way.

My lust for Miyagi and my attempts to restrain myself are jumbled and mixed up.

The room is hot, Miyagi is hot, and only the sensation of my fingertips is very clear. Not knowing what to do, I whispered「Miyagi」in her ear instead of calling her Shiori.

And “Hazuki” does not return.

Still, I call her Miyagi many times. Her voice was different from usual, gravelly, and I couldn’t believe it was her own, but when I repeatedly called her Miyagi, she tugged hard on my clothes.

「Shut… up… quiet…」

I hear a broken voice in my ear and my body clings to it, but Miyagi pulled me close to her just to shut me up, and I’m sure there is no deeper meaning behind it. Still, her body is so hot that I can feel it even through the cloth, and I am glad that Miyagi seems to want me.

「Let me hear more of your voice.」

I wish at least one of them would come true, and my wish spills out in my voice.

「I don’t… want to…」

Miyagi’s voice was quiet as she tried to stifle her emotions, and my attention was drawn to my ears so as not to miss it.

「Then say no more.」

「Shut… up…」

My ears are tickled by the voice that seems to melt away in the darkness. Just listening to Miyagi’s voice seems to make me lose control.

「…I’ll shut up, just call me Hazuki.」

「I… don’t want to!」

「Then you can kiss me if you don’t want to do all that.」

When I brought my face close to Miyagi’s, she pressed my shoulder. But there is no strength in her hands, and Miyagi’s lips meet mine as if she has given up. Maybe it’s because she don’t want me to see her face, even though I know she can’t see it, and not because I want to kiss her. Still, I almost stopped breathing at the thought of being kissed by Miyagi.

Our lips touch a few times, and Miyagi grabs my shoulders.

My breathing becomes ragged, and I can hear my unbreathable voice leaking out.

My memories of last summer, which I should have remembered vividly but whose details were becoming blurred as the days went by, are being updated. Miyagi’s voice, smell, and touch. The parts that raise the resolution of a dream that has been seen many times come together.

I am sure I will dream of today’s Miyagi many times.

Every time I have a vivid dream in which the uncertain part of the dream has been replaced by today’s Miyagi, I think I’m going to regret it, but I can’t stop because I always wanted to know what Miyagi would sound like and how she would react in such a situation.

When I press my fingers hard against Miyagi, she bites me on the neck.

Her teeth bite into me and it hurts.

But this pain must be linked to the good feeling Miyagi is feeling. When I think about it, even the pain causes my breathing to be disturbed. I think she could make it hurt more.

Miyagi’s emotions, which were directly conveyed through her teeth without being added or subtracted, almost made me jump out of my skin. It should be me who is touching her, and it should be Miyagi who feels good, but even I felt good.

I wish this time could go on forever.

I think so, but the pain disappears from my neck and I hear the pained voice of Miyagi.

「Sen… da… i…san…」

From the interrupted calls, it’s clear that Miyagi is approaching her limit.

Still more, much more.

I stop my hand and drive myself away from the temptation to stretch out this time. I change the rhythm of my fingers, which were slow.

Miyagi grabs my shoulder.

It was the tightest I’ve ever felt.

But before I could feel the pain, Miyagi’s body relaxed.

The only sounds in the room were Miyagi’s slurping and my raspy breathing.

I kiss her, feeling comfortable with the sound of her exhale, the warmth of her body, and everything about her. When I lightly touched her soft lips and then licked her lower lip, Miyagi easily accepted me. But as soon as the tip of my tongue attaches to that of hers, it was immediately pushed back.

「It’s hot.」

Miyagi blurts out as she regulates her disordered breathing and pushes my body. I let go of my fingers, which were about to assimilate into hers, and Miyagi pushed me away and stood up.

「Miyagi——」

I was about to ask her where she was going, but before I could ask, I heard Miyagi’s「ouch」as she apparently hit the table.

「Shoud I open the lights?」

I uttered this and realized that I don’t have the remote control in my hand.

「I’ll turn it on myself.」

「Remote control, on the table.」

The nightlights come on and Miyagi returns with a platypus. As she sat on the bed, Miyagi pulled out a few tissues and wiped my hands.

Traces of Miyagi disappear from me.

She is wiping my fingers more meticulously than usual, but she is slumped over and I cannot see her expression clearly.

「I’m going to take a bath… I want to wash, my body.」

Miyagi stands up and turns her back to me.

I want to hold her back, but I can’t think of the words to do so. Having skipped not one, but three or four stairs to go up and touched Miyagi, I feel uneasy about the order we have been ignoring.

「Miyagi.」

At the door, she stops.

I haven’t found the right words to say yet, but I think I should say something.

「Are you alright?」

For the umpteenth time today, I say the word and it comes back with a quiet「yes.」Then, with a snap, the door closed and the presence of Miyagi disappeared.