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Chapter 125
A wall between Miyagi and — 125
Translated by KaiesV
Edited by KaiesV
Up the stairs to the third floor.
I walk down the hallway to the front door and take out the key.
I open the door and go inside, the house is dark. I turn on the light and look at my feet. Miyagi leaves an empty space for her shoes, and I can tell she hasn’t yet returned. Still, I tried saying「I’m home,」but there was no response.
I’m just a little discouraged.
When I say, “I’m home,” I want to hear a voice saying, “Welcome home.”
The memory of the dream I had in the morning faded while I was at the university. Miyagi doesn’t always come home first, but I wish she had stayed home because now I can look her in the eye and talk to her.
「Well, there’s not much to tell.」
I mutter to no one and take off my shoes.
There was no word from Miyagi that he would be late. That means having dinner together, so I head inside the house, thinking about the dinner menu. No one is home, after all.
「I’m home.」
This time, I muttered to the dining room kitchen, which I know is empty. Then, as I was about to go straight into my room, my eyes fell on something piled on the table.
「A book?」
As I approached, I found that the pile was, as expected, books, including several continuation of the romance manga I had read in Miyagi’s room before coming here, and some shonen manga that even I had heard of.
So this is what she mean by “I lend it to you, but I choose to give it to you.”
I let out a small breath and place my bag on the chair where Miyagi usually sits. I knock on the door of Miyagi’s room, even though I know she is not there. The door makes a light thumping sound, but I don’t hear any voices coming from inside.
「Miyagi.」
I call out to the door.
Naturally, there is no answer.
I put my palm flat against the door.
The other side over is another world.
It is a world that I am not allowed to enter, and I don’t know when I will be able to enter it.
I would like to get to the other side of this door.
I want to see if the stuffed black cat I gave her is still on the bookshelf as before, and I want to see if tissues are growing out of the alligator’s back. I want to know what was in that room and what is missing.
What separates me from the other side now is a single board, not thin but not thick either.
It doesn’t mean it can’t be opened.
If I break the rules, I can find out what I want to know, right now. Even if I go in, if I come out immediately without touching anywhere, Miyagi will not know about it. If I break a rule and Miyagi does not find out, I don’t have to break the rule. Rather, I have a feeling that I wish I had been caught breaking the rules.
If I break a rule, I will do one thing she say.
We have that kind of promise, so if I break the rules, Miyagi will order me to do as she did before. It’s not exactly an order, and it’s not the same as before, but it’s close to what happened before.
「
I shouldn’t. If I go into someone’s room without permission.」
Even if I break the rules, entering a room without permission is going too far. If I was found out, Miyagi will leave the house before I had the time to play her punishment game.
I stick my forehead to the door.
I hear a small thump, and my forehead feels a little cold.
I press my lips against the door and let out all the air in my lungs.
「I don’t know what I’m doing.」
I’m a little strange today because of that dream. I was disappointed that the words “I’m home” were not answered with a “welcome back,” but perhaps I was glad Miyagi was not there. I don’t think it would have been much better if she had.
「Stupid Miyagi.」
I complain to the door and turns away.
I take one of the romance manga from the table and sit down in the chair.
Flipping through, I can’t remember the story of one of the previous volumes. I would like to supplement my fuzzy memory. But it should be just one door away, and I can’t get it right away. It’s too far away and I hate it.
I put the romance manga back on the table and decide to read the shonen manga I have on the table from the first volume. I opened the book in my hand and read a page or two. I find it more interesting than chasing a story I can’t recall, but I can’t concentrate with the past flickering in my mind that allowed me to decide for myself which books to read.
Still, I read through two volumes and picked up volume three. After about a minute of reading, I heard a voice say,「I’m home,」and I looked up.
「Welcome back.」
「Why don’t you just read it in your room?」
Miyagi says, looking at the cover of the manga I am reading.
「I thought you’d want me to say welcome home.」
「You could say it while you were reading in your room.」
「I can say it right here, and it’s better.」
Miyagi doesn’t say good or bad. She’s hassle-free, she pulls out a cider from the fridge and pours it into a glass. She then took a sip of the clear liquid before placing the glass on the table.
She looks at me and our eyes meet.
I look at Miyagi without escaping her gaze as I did in the morning.
「Was that interesting?」
Miyagi didn’t say it was about manga, but the only thing she would ask me about that is interesting is the manga in my hand.
「Well, just so-so.」
「Let me know when you’re done reading. I’ll put it away.」
As Miyagi was about to go back to her room when she said this, I quickly picked up a romance manga that I had just opened and had barely read.
「Wait. Do you have the first volume?」
「I do, but
」
「Then lend it to me. I forgot what we talked about before.」
I am not that interested in manga stories buried in my memory. I don’t mind if I forget about it, and if I want to read it, I can start from the previous volume, and I don’t think it’s worth bothering to read it from the first volume. Still, it is a good reason for what I wanted to do.
「I’ll bring it to you, so stay there.」
「I’ll hold the book by myself, so I’ll go with you.」
I get up and stand next to Miyagi.
「Eh?」
「Just let me in the room.」
「
You can’t.」
After a moment’s thought, Miyagi says.
「Why?」
「Sendai-san, you seem like you would do something strange.」
Miyagi’s words reminded me of a dream I had today.
I can imagine what kind of “strange things” she is talking about.
And my dream must have been more than what Miyagi calls “strange,” which makes my heart ache a little. But it is not because I want to do that that I want to enter Miyagi’s room. I just want to know what is going on now where I used to be able to go in and out before I came here.
I don’t have any guilty feelings.
Yes, I do. Maybe I shouldn’t have.
My vague feelings shows into my face. But there is no need to convey the feelings correctly, so I deny Miyagi’s words.
「You said I can’t. Miyagi, what am I to you?」
「
A roommate.」
I give the incorrect answer, and the correct answer comes back to me.
Miyagi is right, we are roommates.
And if the two of us are going to live peacefully together for four years, I think we should remain just roommates.
But after spending a few weeks with Miyagi, I am beginning to wonder if I chose to be roommates. I have my doubts about the current environment where I am bound by the relationship of being roommates and cannot touch Miyagi.
「What?」
Miyagi looks at me suspiciously, not saying anything.
On the day of the graduation ceremony, I prepared a new relationship with Miyagi as a roommate in order to bring her here. That was the best we could do at the time, and there could have been no better answer.
「I just thought it was weird that Miyagi and I were roommates.」
Miyagi wrinkled her brow as I said it with a vague smile, convincing myself.
「Sendai-san said you could be my roommate. Take responsibility and be a good roommate.」
「Okay, okay.」
「I’ll get the book. Sendai-san, wait here.」
「You don’t have to.」
「Eh?」
「Enough about books, let’s cook dinner.」
I go to the refrigerator, not to Miyagi’s room.
「Isn’t too early?」
「I just got hungry.」
I heard a voice behind me and uttered a suitable reason. Then, looking at the contents of the refrigerator, I asked Miyagi what she wanted to eat.