Sendai-san and the post-graduation ceremony â 118
Translated by KaiesV
Edited by KaiesV
I take off my coat at the entrance.
I went into the room first and turned on the air conditioner. Sendai-san followed me and unbuttoned the second button from the top of her blouse. But she doesnât take off her blazer.
I look at Sendai-sanâs loosened tie.
She didnât speak at all in the elevator. We walked the hallways in silence, and sheâs still silent. She look as normal and unconcerned as ever, but I was restless because the little things are always different.
Sendai-san sits in her usual place in front of the bed.
ăIâll get you something.ă
When I approached her and called out to her, she grabbed my arm.
ăYou can do that later. Anyway, whatâs the story?ă
She pulls me by the arm and I have no choice but to sit next to her.
ăDid you bring the necklace?ă
ăI brought it, or rather, Iâm wearing it.ă
Sendai-san tugs at the collar of her unbuttoned blouse.
The bust is slightly open, revealing a silver chain.
She always complain when I ask her questions without answering them, but not today. The reason why she obediently listens to me even though I havenât given her 5,000 yen may be because she knows that today is the last day to do so.
ăGive me that back.ă
ăFor what purpose?ă
ăBecause the order has expired.ă
When I gave Sendai-san the necklace, I ordered her toăwear it at school and at home.ăAt that time, I would have also told her that the deadline wasăuntil the graduation ceremony.ăThere is no way that Sendai-san who had kept her promise all this time, would have forgotten only the deadline.
An expired order is something that does not need to be kept.
The necklace was given to her by me, and I think I have the right to retrieve it when I no longer have any use for it.
ăJust an inquiry, what happens if I returned it?ă
ăIâm throwing away the necklace, and thatâs the end with Sendai-san.ă
ăWhat do you mean, the end?ă
Sendai-san asks me what she should have known, as if she had just heard it for the first time.
ăI wonât be seeing Sendai-san again.ă
ăIf you go to the same university as Utsunomiya, why canât I see you anytime?ă
ăYou promised from the beginning that youâd see me until the graduation ceremony. Even if you could see me anytime, I wonât. Give me back the necklace.ă
ăYouâre going to throw it away when I return it, right? Isnât it a waste?ă
Itâs not a good way to go.
She knew what I was going to say today, and she promised me until the graduation ceremony. I didnât go so far as to promise to return the necklace, but it wasnât something that Sendai-san resisted. It should be better for Sendai-san to throw away things like collars.
ăItâs not a waste, so just give it back.ă
I hold out my hand as if to urge.
ăReally, Miyagi is so stingy.ă
When she said this, Sendai-san let out an exaggerated breath.
Then she slowly removes the necklace.
ăHere you go.ă
The necklace is placed on the table.
I reach for the silver one. But before our hands touched, Sendai-san said,ăBefore thatâŚă
ăIâve got something Iâd like you to see. Just a minute.ă
ăWhat do you want me to see?ă
ăHere.ă
Sendai-san pulls something out of her bag and places it next to the necklace, saying, âThis is it.â
ăâŚA letter?ă
It was a cherry-red envelope, to be exact, that lay on the table, with nothing written on the front. It is not thick and looks light, and I can only assume that the contents are letter paper or something.
ăNo. Inside, look at it.ă
I pick up the envelope, which is easily denied to contain a letter, and turn it over. There was still nothing written on the back, and it was not sealed. The flimsy envelope with no glue or sticker on it is easy to open, and a sheet of flimsy paper comes out from inside.
A piece of paper that is not a letter is not a letter.
It is like a piece of copy paper, folded in quarters.
Once or twice folded, the paper was opened to reveal something I had not expected to find written on it.
ăSendai-san, this thing⌠what is this?ă
What I see on paper is not what I see for the first time.
It was something I had seen several times before, but not something I would see now, in this situation.
ăA room layout.ă
I hear a calm voice.
ăI know that when I see it.ă
ăThen, itâs fine.ă
ăItâs not fine. Iâm talking about why the room layout is coming up now.ă
ăItâs the layout of Miyagiâs room, so it wouldnât make sense to show it to Miyagi.ă
I donât understand the meaning of this.
Sendai-san looks unconcerned, but what she is saying is a mess. There are many things she does that I donât understand, but these are the actions and words that I donât understand the most. Thanks to her, I will look again at the paper I took out of the envelope.
There are two rooms.
Apart from that, there is a kitchen, dining room, and bathroom, so there is a reasonable amount of space.
ăThis is a big place for one person to live.ă
I have many things to say, but I will mention one odd thing from the information I got from the paper in front of me.
ăItâs big enough for one person to live in, but just right for two, donât you think?ă
ăââFor two, you say?ă
I could predict what Sendai would say next.
But I couldnât help but listen.
ăMiyagi and me. Youâre not going to live in a dorm, weâre going to live together. The location will be halfway between our universities, so it might take a while to commute.ă
Sendai-san speaks just a little too fast and without interruption.
ăItâll be smaller than my current room, but itâs beautiful,ă
ăSendai-sanâŚă
ăAh, Iâm supposed to get the key when I move in. Iâll give them to Miyagi laterâŚă
ăSendai-san!ă
ăI told my parents that I would live with Miyagi. My family doesnât really care about that kind of thing, so I told them to do whatever they want,ă
ăSendai-san!! You didnât say you were going to move in with me, and I didnât ask you to find me a room. Generally, when you sign a contract for a room, you need money, right? Who paid for mine?ă
I donât know where to begin with all the questions, but I stop Sendai-san who keeps talking anyway.
I look at the paper with the floor plan on it.
It is hard to believe that Sendai-san went looking for this room alone. She should have gone looking for them with her parents, and they should have signed the contract. But there is no way that Sendai-sanâs parents would have paid for me.
ăI took it out of the piggy bank.ă
Sendai-san says, as if it were a matter of course, and I look at her.
ăThe piggy bank?ă
ăThe 5,000 yen I got from Miyagi. That, I put it all in a piggy bank.ă
ăYou put it inââ You mean you didnât use it?ă
She was not interested in the money I gave her.
I never counted how much I gave her, and I never asked her how she spent it. I just assumed that it was her freedom to use it however she wanted and that she was using it.
ăAnd I didnât have to use it. So I gave it to my parents saying I kept it from Miyagi.ă
To use the five thousand yen I gave her as compensation for the order for me.
I didnât think Sendai-san was the kind of person who would do such a thing.
It was crazy that she came to my house and listened to my orders for 5,000 yen that she would not use. Thatâs insane.
ăSendai-san, youâre so smart, but so stupid.ă
I fold the paper with the floor plan in quarters and place it on my desk.
ăIâll just be an idiot and choose which way you want to go.ă
ăWhat do you mean by choosing?ă
I know I donât really have to ask, but I do.
ăChoose whichever you like, the pendant or the envelope. I will follow whichever Miyagi chooses. If Miyagi chooses the pendant, I will not see Miyagi again. Even if I see you, I wonât talk to you. Itâs the last day we see each other.ă
ăWhat if I choose the envelope?ă
ăMiyagi will live with me.ă
Sendai-san will never be chosen.
She always prepares a choice and makes me choose.
And when she prepares a choice, my answer is also decided. Sendai-san makes me choose it, regardless of my will.
It is the same today.
Sendai-san is trying to make me choose the envelope.
But if I had to choose, it would be the necklace.
We both prefer it that way.
Sendai-san should not be bound by my existence, and I should forget about her and adjust to my new life. To this day, itâs only a small mistake, and when I grow up, Iâll look back and wonder why I did such a stupid thing. Itâs not the kind of relationship that drags on into college.
ăCan I ask you something?ă
I ask Sendai-san before I utter my answer.
ăSure.ă
ăThe room, why did you decide to come here on your own?ă
Sendai-sanâs strange behavior is complicating the conversation.
In truth, it was a simple matter of not meeting after today.
ăWhat do you mean why? I knew that if I didnât do this, Miyagi would never see me again. Also, I called you. Miyagi didnât answer though.ă
After going to the movies, there were several contacts.
Play
Unmute
Some of these were during the period when Sendai-san said she was going to look for a room. I ignored it because it was something about what she was doing or answering the phone, but if I had known she was going to look for a room to live with me, I definitely would have responded and stopped Sendai-san.
ăI told you I would move into a dorm.ă
I complain to Sendai-san without mentioning that I ignored her contact.
ăI know you donât like places like dorms.ă
ăâŚIâm not good at it, but I can handle it.ă
The moment when the environment changes is one of closure, and now is the time to detach Sendai-san.
ăI think youâd be better off living with me than being forced to live in a dormitory. Instead of living with someone else, you should just do it with me.ă
There is nothing good about staying with Sendai-san for the next four years. Sendai-san will adjust quickly to her new life, and once the university starts, she will be with me and my affairs will take a back seat.
If we are not together, even the mark on me will fade at some point.
Once I start my new life in the dormitory, I canât think only about Sendai-san. Even if itâs not possible right now, or even if it takes time, I should make an effort to adjust to life without Sendai-san.
Absolutely, I should choose to do so.
But still.
Still, I canât help but ask.
ăThe envelope⌠If I donât choose it, what will you do, Sendai-san?ă
I look at the cherry-red envelope.
I look at the spring-colored envelope, which is as beautiful as real cherry blossoms, and I think it looks like Sendai-san.
ăIâll find someone to live with, donât worry about it. If I go to college, I can at least find someone who wants to share a room with me.ă
Sendai-san says softly as petals flutter in the wind.
Her voice, devoid of any trace of seriousness, makes my heart shudder.
Sendai-san will live with someone I donât know.
Sheâll live in a place I donât know, with people I donât know, and without knowing all of that, I will never see Sendai-san again.
I am the one who finds such things unforgivable.
I grab the back of my left hand with my right hand.
I clench my fingernails.
It has nothing to do with who Sendai-san lives with, and I have no right to interfere.
I know that.
But, itâs unforgivable.
I donât like it.
I put my right hand on it.
It hurts.
It hurts all the way to my chest and I canât breathe well.
I wonder what Sendai-san looks like now.
I want to know, but I canât look up.
ăThatâs too uncertain.ă
I manage to speak up.
But I canât say, âI donât like the idea of Sendai-san living with someone I donât know.â
ăEven Miyagi is being uncertain. If you canât get a dormitory, youâll think about it then, wonât you?ă
I donât want to be in a dormitory.
I donât think I could live with strangers.
But I canât find a reason to live with Sendai-san.
We are not friends, we cannot be anything other than former classmates.
ăIf I choose the envelopeââă
What should I do?
Iâve heard the answer, but I canât process it properly in my head and want to ask it again and again.
I breathe in and out quietly.
Then I raise my gaze, which I could not remove from the envelope.
ăSendai-san, are you going to live with me, who is not your friend or anything?ă
ăMiyagi, donât you know? You donât have to be friends to be roommates.ă
After saying this, Sendai-san puts the four folded pieces of paper on my desk into an envelope.
ăWhat about Maika? What am I supposed to tell Maika?ă
ăThatâs for Miyagi to decide. So, which do you want, the envelope or the pendant?ă
The envelope and the pendant, one of two things.
If I choose one, Sendai-san will accept it.
What should I do, what am I going to do, how can I do this?
How can I avoid regretting it?
ăMiyagi, decide now.ă
Sendai-san says, as if in a hurry.
I pick up the necklace from the table.
Sendai-san lets out a small breath.
ăTurn around.ă
I told Sendai-san, who was staring at me, and she silently turned around. I remove the clasp from the necklace and place it around Sendai-sanâs neck.
The silver chain fits where it should be and is hidden in her hair.
Itâs not that I want to be her roommate.
But it doesnât seem so bad that we, who are neither friends nor anything else, become something different from what we are now.
I talk to Sendai-sanâs back.
ăââItâs only for four years. Iâd be your roommate for four years only.ă
I went to the trouble of freeing Sendai-san, but this is what happens when she goes to the trouble of preparing an envelope.
Sendai-san is really an idiot.
I picked up a lock of her long hair and tugged it lightly.
ăMiyagi.ă
When I remove my hand from her hair, Sendai-san tries to turn around, so I hold her head and make her face forward so she doesnât look at me.
ăDoes that mean you pick the envelope?ă
ăIf I have to pick out the necklace, I will.ă
When I said this in as normal a voice as possible, Sendai-san grabbed my hand that was holding my head.
ăMiyagi. If youâre going to separate the two years into four years, do your best not to stay.ă
ăYou really have a lot to say, donât you, Sendai-san?ă
I think there is more to say at times like this.
I donât know what it is, but I am sure that it is inappropriate to say âdonât stay in school.â
ăLet go of my hand.ă
Sendai-san said so and grasped my hand, which was still in her grasp, once tightly and then released it. I have no choice but to follow her words and let go of her hand, and Sendai-san turns to me. And, as a matter of course, she holds my hand.
ăCan I call you Shiori from now on?ă
ăYou canât.ă
ăMiyagiâs stingy.ă
ăShut up, Sendai-san.ă
Sendai-san chuckles with a giggle.
Really, Sendai-san only says what I donât want to hear.
But for about four years.
I would be willing to spend that much time with such Sendai-san.
I held back her hand, which remained connected and did not move away.