Chapter 298: Never meeting again
Tang Yufei had actually been spot on in quite a number of things.
For example, Apple. Xu Tingsheng had been alone with her the longest before. The two of them also shared the closest relationship. This meant that it was most possible for something to have happened between the two of them. Yet, in realityâŚnothing had happened.
There had virtually been not a single situation of this kind at all.
Xu Tingsheng had been unable to resist Li Wanâer and had also acted inappropriately with Lu Zhixin before. Yet, he had just not done anything towards Apple with whom he was the closest.
The reason was actually just like Tang Yufei had said. The responsibility was too great. He was afraid of it, so afraid of it that he couldnât think of anything else. If Xu Tingsheng had laid a hand on Apple, he would surely marry herâŚ
He would accompany and protect her during her most difficult times. Yet, he was still not ready to completely accept this weighty responsibility.
Therefore, separated by distance, Xu Tingsheng could think whatever he liked about Apple, with her even having appeared in his dreams before. Yet, when they were together, he would restrict himself carefully to the point that he was virtually able to act completely naturally, without much rashness at all.
It was similar for Wu Yuewei.
Of course, the interactions between the two were just as pure as they had been back in junior high. Nothing remotely questionable had ever occurred between them.
If something like that really did happen, the answer would be the same as for Apple. He would be afraid, would restrict himself. Things were the same for this girl as well. If he laid a hand on her, he would have to marry her. He would marry her.
As for Lu Zhixin, she was different from Apple and Wu Yuewei.
For Apple and Wu Yuewei, if Xu Tingsheng were really to request it of them, they would give it to him. As for Lu Zhixin, she was independent and clear-headed. She was actually better than he was at controlling the situation.
Thus, Xu Tingsheng would occasionally dare to let loose the reins on himself and mess around with her without reservation, feeling assured in the knowledge that nothing would happen. Even if something were to happen, it would probably be her stomping him dead or calling the policeâŚ
As for Li Wanâer, hers was the most unique case.
If not for her having said that line back then, he would already have been unable to hold himself backâŚit could be said that Xu Tingsheng had a mindset that many other men had. Facing Li Wanâer at the time, he had virtually not thought about the concept of responsibility at all.
She had experience, had been married before. With that, the mental burden on him was much lower.
Also, it could not be denied that in terms of age and various other aspects too, Li Wanâer was really the most alluring one amongst all the women Xu Tingsheng had met, the one who most induced him into committing a crime.
Xu Tingsheng was able to resist those he thought to be young girls, but it was very difficult for him to resist Li Wanâer.
Li Wanâer had actually used this word very accurately: Bully.
Li Wanâer had said, âBully me, Xu Tingsheng. Bully me however you like.â
Just these words alone were enough to cause Xu Tingshengâs blood vessels to swellâŚ
Coupled with her expression and toneâŚ
And that satin-like material of the clothes she was wearingâŚ
Her cousinâs taste was actually rather bad. The special underwear that she had chosen were very base indeed. Yet, some articles of clothing were actually more crime-inducing the baser they were. At times like this, who would care about intricacy, elegance? The baser the better.
Such âbaseâ clothing, worn by the elegant, gentle Li Wanâer who was akin to a descended goddessâŚ
There was an incomparably vast discrepancy between Li Wanâerâs expression and what she was wearing.
She looked embarrassed, on tenterhooks, distressed, also bearing a humiliated feeling of accepting whatever was forced upon her as the tear stains on her face had still yet to dryâŚ
Her clothing was beguiling, lascivious, shamelessâŚ
If this had happened half a month ago, Xu Tingsheng would not have hesitated any further at all. It was not that he would not be intending to accept any responsibility whatsoever. It was just that it would not be this serious at the end of the dayâŚ
However, this half a month had seen the occurrence of the greatest, most blissful event of Xu Tingshengâs life ever since his rebirth. He knew how Little Xiang Ning thought about him now. His Xiang Ning was going to come back.
As for Apple, she seemed to have completely walked out of the shadow of depression.
Xu Tingsheng was currently making preparations for welcoming Xiang Ning back to his side.
Li Wanâer leaned rather dazedly against the bed, looking at Xu Tingsheng who was leaning back against the head of the bed and breathing deeply in and out, in and out.
She finally took that blanket and covered her own body.
Li Wanâer had used up all her courage.
It was actually two people that she had to face and resist. One was Xu Tingsheng, in front of whom she had to discard her self-respect and shyness. The other was she herself, the she of back then who had persisted in her original stance of being unable to accept actions like these.
Another voice inside her, the voice of her original stance, was already resounding lightly, talking about her, rebuking her, âWhat are you doing, Li Wanâer? Utterly shamelessâŚâ
âAm I being utterly shameless? âŚBut I really like him, and heâs going to leave. I want to fight for something for myself for once, and if itâs wrong, then so be it,â Li Wanâer defended herself thus.
Only she herself was well aware that if the alternative was letting this person before her go just like that, with them having no further contact at all in the future, she would really ratherâŚend up the subject of societyâs endless scorn.
Had Xu Tingsheng not been going to leave, had she not seen that plane ticket, also considering her mental preparation from the previous experiences between them, including that time where something had nearly happenedâŚit would have been totally impossible for Li Wanâer to do this.
She was a reserved, mild, even overly modest woman who was used to living as such.
Having lived a mild life for so many years, even holding herself back already come completely naturally to her.
Perhaps there was also another reason, which was her cousin. Those things she had taught Li Wanâer caused her to blush every time she thought about them with her heart pounding as she was filled with embarrassment.
Yet, Li Wanâer had seen with her own eyes how her cousinâs husband was so obedient and loyal and loving towards her, even to the very extent of âlowering his head and bending his kneeâ. Her cousin told her that she had won all this on the bed, that in having done so, she hadâŚenthralled his heart completely, making him unable to leave her.
Li Wanâer dared not hope for Xu Tingsheng to be so good to her. Still, she wanted to fight for it too and had no other way around it.
Hearing her sobs, Xu Tingsheng turned to look at her.
âLast time, youâŚnow, is it that you donât like me anymore, or are you angry with meâŚor do you disdain that I was married before and am impure?â Li Wanâer drew the blanket up to as high as her neck, grabbing it tightly with both hands as she asked with a difficult expression on her face.
Xu Tingsheng went over, bent down and helped her to wipe off her tears, âNo, youâre the most enchanting woman Iâve ever met. You already saw how I reacted last time, and just now tooâŚâ
He smiled awkwardly after he had said this.
Li Wanâer said, âYes, but then whyâŚâ
âYou tell me why first, why you suddenlyâŚyou clearly said it earlier tonight. You definitely wonât be anyoneâs lover,â Xu Tingsheng said.
âI,â Li Wanâer hesitated for a while before she said, âI wonât be a lover. Actually, actuallyâŚI was thinking that if I could give birth to a child for you, I would be able to keep you by my side then. I wonât be a lover, I want to be your wife.â
LI Wanâer spoke frankly just like that. She was truly so far away from a scheming person indeed.
Xu Tingsheng forced a smile, not knowing what he should say to that.
Li Wanâer said, âItâs your turn.â
Xu Tingsheng said, âDo you remember how I told you that I once forsook the person who is the most precious to me? SheâŚâ
Li Wanâer asked, âSheâs back?â
Xu Tingsheng replied, âYes, almost.â
Li Wanâer appeared slightly dejected for a time before she clenched her teeth, seemingly having made a very major decision as she shifted to the side of the bed and asked, âCan you lie down? Since youâve said this already, definitely nothing will happen between us. I just want toâŚlie over beside you for a while. Iâve never before.â
Looking at her eyes, hearing her say âIâve never beforeâ, Xu Tingsheng who had originally been going to refuse instead felt a little hesitant now.
Li Wanâer shifted further inwards before making a boundary at the centre of that blanket, saying, âLike thisâŚseparated. Not touching.â
Xu Tingsheng nodded, lay down and got under the blanket.
The two talked for a while.
Xu Tingsheng soon regretted it. He had overestimated himself. For some reason, Li Wanâer was not lying on her side like she had said. Instead, she leaned into his embrace. Separated by just that thin layer of satinâŚshe leaned in against him.
âI fooled you up here,â Despite her awkwardness, a bit of triumph could clearly be heard in Li Wanâerâs tone, rather like a usually obedient student who suddenly skipped a lesson one day and even lied to the teacher.
Now, she extended a hand into Xu Tingshengâs pyjamas, her slender fingers brushing over his chest.
âI thought you were thin. How is it that your bodyâsâŚso fit,â Came in a voice close to a murmur.
Xu Tingsheng was virtually about to implode as he managed, âHey, Wanâer, Iâve just told you about my situation, and you have also said that you definitely wonât be anyoneâs lover, right?â
Li Wanâer said, âRight.â
Xu Tingsheng said, âSo, itâs not worth it! Even if you really did give birth to my child, it stillâŚâ
Li Wanâer shook her head, interrupting him, âI know. But Iâve changed my mind. What I want now is a child, our child. I wonât make use of him to fight for anythingâŚand I also wonât be your lover. I wonât see you again in the future.â
Xu Tingsheng was flummoxed, âHuh?â
Li Wanâer said resolutely, âI wonât be marrying again. I just want a child, Xu Tingsheng, our child. I will bring him up and he will accompany me, just him and me. You donât have to care about us. I wonât be lonely that way, and living would be meaningful then. I can take care of him myself. We will definitely live very happily, very well. You can just take it like we donât exist. We will never meet again.â
A child of his own blood-Xu Tingsheng was actually affected incomparably greatly as he heard Li Wanâer saying this, because of his two lives, because of his past experiences, because of his mental age, because he actually liked kids so much.
If he were to wait for Xiang NingâŚit might be another ten years.
Actually, it might be even longer than that. If things went like they had in his previous life, Xiang Ning would not consider giving birth until she turned twenty-nine. She said that she herself was still like a child.
As for Xu Tingsheng, he definitely dared not force her against her will.
Li Wanâer continued, âHe or she will definitely look very nice, because you look so good, and I, too. It doesnât matter whether itâs a boy or a girl. Xu Tingsheng, can you please give me a child.â
With that, Li Wanâer looked at Xu Tingsheng without shrinking back in the least, her gaze fervent and pleading and not shifting in the least. This was a rare instance of boldness from her indeed.
Her slender hand travelled about Xu Tingshengâs body.
Xu Tingshengâs throat felt dry. He was struggling, hesitating. It was physical whilst also mental too.
âIf we really do have a child, it would be impossible for me not to meet him, not to care about him,â Xu Tingsheng said conflictedly.
âYou meet the child then. You come, Iâll goâŚI wonât bother you. Weâll never meet again,â Li Wanâer said.
âThatâs impossible. I actually like you too. I wonât deny that.â
âYes, I know. Iâm very happy. If I were five, ten years younger and never been married, however good she is, I definitely wouldnât give up just like that. But Iâm thirty-one now, Xu Tingsheng. I donât want to be alone for ten, twenty more years, all the way till I grow old and die. Iâve only ever liked you before, and I definitely wonât be marrying anyone elseâŚgive me a child.â