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Chapter 24: Half of the World Population is on the Side of Handsome Men
“…These people are staring so hard, they’re going to burn a hole in my face.”
I came here with the intention of making a good first impression on the people in the Azure Dragon Academy, but being gawked at was the last thing I expected.
WINK WINK.
WHISPER WHISPER.
The instant we stepped through the main gate of the Azure Dragon Academy, all eyes instantly focused on us, from the other examinees to the students looking down on us from their dormitory windows.
“Uhh…” Okay, this was one awkward situation that I, with all my years of experience, had never encountered before.
“As the saying goes, clothes make the man. Just having a handsome face isn’t enough.”
“……”
Next to me, Ak Yeon-Ho, the main culprit behind this mess, strode proudly, basking in the limelight. Moreover, instead of the dignified smile this child of a prestigious family should be showing, he was hiding his mouth with a fan and only occasionally revealing a flirty grin…
“Kyaa!”
“Ahh! He just looked at me!”
“Heeheehee…”
Every woman we walked past blushed and made a huge fuss.
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Ak Yeon-Ho shot every girl a soft smile and nodded in acknowledgement, all the while gently fanning himself. I’m not sure if he sprayed perfume on himself or if it was something else, but there was an oddly sweet scent left behind wherever he passed.
If this punk had been born in the unorthodox sects, he would definitely have become a legendary womanizer.
I, on the other hand, concentrated on walking forward. The unfamiliar stares from the peanut gallery made both my body and facial expression stiffen up.
Fortunately, most of the women seem more attracted to Ak Yeon-Ho than me…
“Are those two cuties new instructor applicants?”
“I prefer the tall one on the left.”
If you′re seeing this, you are at the wrong place.
“Me too, I can see his caring nature that he tries to hide underneath that cold exterior…”
“Haa, I want him to harshly scold me in class…”
…I didn’t hear that. I didn’t hear anything. Nope.
Ak Yeon-Ho poked me in the ribs with his elbow and whispered, “What do you think, Hyung-nim? Aren’t you glad that we’re being welcomed with open arms?”
“Glad? As if…”
In addition to the women, we are also attracting attention from the men. I was used to having a lot of people glaring daggers at me, so it wasn’t the stares themselves that was the problem, but the “passionate stares”.
Anyway, three days ago…
“First impressions are the most important part of an interview! Dull black clothes are forbidden!”
After declaring that, Ak Yeon-Ho dragged me all over town to buy new clothes, shoes, and belts. He even made me get a haircut.
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Then, today, he woke me up in the wee hours of the morning, took my body into his hands and dolled me up from head to toe. Unfortunately, I didn’t think much of it until we left the inn to head to the exam venue.
“E-Excuse me… Can you tell me your name?”
The nightmare began with the first woman we met on the streets, and then…
“Handsome Oppas! Please eat these.”
“No, you should eat these instead. The sweets from our shop are far superior to theirs.”
“What? Have you gone crazy, bitch?”
“You’re the crazy bitch!”
I had to stop these daughters of rival businesses from coming to blows multiple times…
“…Young Master, could you give me a strand of your hair, or a small piece of broken fingernail?” a balding, shifty-eyed man that I suspected to be an exorcist of the Mount Mo Sect1 asked.
……
Anyway, after enduring all those trials, we finally reached the Azure Dragon Academy. Unsurprisingly, we were also the object of everyone’s attention there.
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As this was something I had never experienced in my previous life, I couldn’t help but mumble, “Fuck lookism.”
Ak Yeon-Ho, who overheard my complaint, giggled and turned around to look at me as if he was appreciating his own artwork. He then said, “You’re a masterpiece you know, a masterpiece!”
“Stop blabbing nonsense and hurry up.”
“We have to wait in line anyway, so why not just enjoy the attention for now?”
“…Just what about this is enjoyable?”
“The longing gazes of the female students, for example! Also, please mind your expression. You should smile at your future students.”
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“……”
Ak Yeon-Ho lowered his fan, revealing his pretty face and causing a group of girls watching us to fall out of their dorm windows.
“OWW!” someone screamed.
I sighed and shook my head. However, this simple motion was enough to trigger an “Ahn~” sound from somewhere nearby.
…Was everything I do going to cause some sort of reaction?
Finally, we joined the line of instructor applicants. Though our interview attire was way too flashy compared to the competition, I decided to look on the bright side.
We definitely succeeded at making a strong first impression!
In order to survive in this harsh, competitive environment, we needed every advantage we could get. Particularly in a job interview like this where only a small number of people would be accepted, making a strong first impression was crucial as those who fail to stand out will be forgotten and eliminated.
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I muttered to myself, “I don’t know how helpful this face will be at the interview, but…”
“…It’s probably more helpful than you can imagine,” Ak Yeon-Ho finished my sentence, then grinned and patted me on the shoulder.
Suddenly, I felt someone sizing me up from quite a distance away. I raised my head and looked in their direction, only to see a boy and girl standing on the roof of one of the buildings.
Are they students here?
The boy was stronger at martial arts, but it was the cold-looking girl who triggered my alarm.
Why is she looking at me like that?
I stared back at the girl and our eyes met.
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“……”
“……”
A few seconds later, the girl took a deep breath as if she was preparing to release a lion’s roar sound wave attack.
“E-Eh?” I immediately covered my ears, but there was nothing I could do to stop her voice from echoing across the entire academy.
“THEY PASS!”
“…What?” I gasped, a vacant look on my face.
I wasn’t the only confused one. All of the other applicants also turned toward the girl.
Eyes blazing with passion, she pointed a finger at Ak Yeon-Ho and shouted, “You two there! By the authority of the student council, I declare that both of you pass the… Ugh, Mmph!”
“Vice President! Have you lost your mind?” The boy next to her quickly clamped a hand over her mouth.
The two squabbled for a while, until finally, the girl gave up and stormed off in a huff.
“…What was that just now?”
“It came from the direction of the student dorms…”
“ I heard that there were some very crazy people at the academy, but to think that it was true…”
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Just as the applicants started gossiping about what had happened, the old man standing in the center of the training grounds shouted in a clear voice, “SILENCE!”
The inner qi contained within his voice was so powerful, several of the weaker applicants furrowed their brows in pain.
“Please be quiet until your name is called,” the old man continued, before placing his hands behind his back and giving everyone a warning glance.
I think most of his qi was aimed at me…Nah, that’s probably just my imagination.
“Who’s that old man?”
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“He’s the Chancellor of the Academy.”
“So that’s why he’s so strict.”
“Why does he keep glancing in our direction? Do you know him, Hyung-nim?”
“It’s my first time here. How would I know the Chancellor?”
Wait, the Chancellor? I feel I’ve forgotten something… Hmm, since I don’t remember it, it must not be very important.
I chatted with Ak Yeon-Ho, and the line eventually got shorter. The interviews were held in groups of five, and the applicants would answer questions from the interviewers briefly before coming back out.
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“Who are the interviewers?” I asked Ak Yeon-Ho, who was busy flirting with some of the other (mostly female) applicants.
“The Principa, the Vice Principal, and Nam-Goong Su, the Star Instructor of the Azure Dragon Academy,” he replied immediately.
If I remember right, wasn’t the Principal of the Azure Dragon Academy…the “Thousand-Armed Bodhisattva (千手觀音)”,2 Noh Gun-Sang?
Even decades ago when I was part of the Blood Cult, Noh Gun-Sang was already one of the Top Hundred Masters of Murim, and also a famed executor of “justice” whose mere mention instilled terror in the unorthodox sects.
Although I’ve never met him in person, I heard that he had quite the fiery personality… I wonder if he mellowed out with age? Regardless, I should be careful around him.
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As for the Vice Principal Kwak Cheol-Woo, this was my first-time hearing of him, but it seemed that he used a very vicious martial art.
Finally, there was Nam-Goong Su, the “Three Extremes Sword”, a member of the Nam-Goong Clan, and the Star Instructor of the Azure Dragon Academy.
In other words, he was my rival.
“The current Star Instructor… I can’t wait to see how good he is at teaching.”
“You can tell how good he is just by looking?”
“At my level, just one glance at his face is enough.”
“…Dear gods, with a partner like this, will I be able to pass the interview?”
Just like that, I killed time by making bad jokes with Ak Yeon-Ho. The waiting time was much longer than I thought, and every group needed at least 30 minutes to an hour. Unfortunately, even though the two of us had left the inn quite early in the morning, we ended up being the second last group to be interviewed (no thanks to all the gawkers).
I’m bored.
As I surveyed every corner of the Azure Dragon Academy, I found that although the school was vast and well-equipped as expected of one of the Five Great Academies, the quality of the teachers and students were less than desirable.
To be honest, I’m disappointed.
While strength and skill were important to a martial artist, it was the staff and student’s attitudes which disappointed me the most. These people were largely made up of disciples of the large sects and clans, and should be a bunch of very prideful folks. However, the hunched and humble way they walked betrayed how little confidence they had in themselves.
How should I put it… They look like merchants who are making one final gamble before they go bankrupt…
If you′re seeing this, you are at the wrong place.
No, I’m not badmouthing these people on purpose, this is an honest assessment.
I peered through the open dorm windows to take a closer look at the students watching us and whispering to each other.
“Hey, why isn’t the line getting any shorter?”
“Never mind shorter, I feel like it’s getting longer.”
“Tsk!”
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These damned kids should be training instead of watching this boring scene. Still, some of them seem more promising. They’re taking notes…No, wait, are they drawing?
SCRITCH SCRITCH SCRATCH SCRATCH.
Those hand movements, and they way they keep looking at me… What if…
“Are those girls…drawing us?”
“I think so.” Ak Yeon-Ho smiled and made a seductive pose.
“…What the fuck are you doing?”
“I’m making it easier for them to draw me. We have a lot of time to kill, anyway.”
“Sigh…” I did a facepalm, feeling like a monkey at a zoo. “…I can’t wait for the interview to begin.”
“I think we’re next.”
Suddenly, one of the applicants who had just finished his interview stormed toward us menacingly and threatened, “Eh? Aren’t you two…? Ah ha! I finally found you!”
He gave me the impression of a bandit coming to collect a toll.
Ak Yeon-Ho turned toward me and asked, “Hyung-nim, is that someone you know?”
Why does he ask me that every time something unexpected happens? Thankfully, with my great memory, I instantly recognized this guy.
“That’s the pig you kicked out of the inn,” I whispered just loudly enough for the pig to hear me.
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“Who are you calling a pig?” The pig huffed like a wild boar, pointed a finger at me, and roared, “Listen carefully! The great me is the man known as the ‘Superstrength Blade’, Kwak Du-Yong!”
Ak Yeon-Ho blinked in realization and replied, “Oh… So he’s the pig from back then?”
At the inn where we had first met, Ak Yeon-Ho had publicly humiliated this pig for harassing the other customers, causing him to run away with his tail tucked between his legs.
Unlike previously when he looked like a swine on fire, Kwak Du-Yong laughed confidently, “Ha! Looks like you two still haven’t come to your senses. Since it seems like you guys came to the Azure Dragon Academy to take the instructor examination, let me give you some advice…” He smiled coldly and lowered his voice, “Do you know who this great one is? I am…”
BONK!
Someone threw a shoe squarely at the back of Kwak Du-Yong’s head. He staggered for a moment before regaining his balance, then spun around and yelled, “Hey! Which one of you threw that thing?”
“Get out of the way, you ugly pig! You’re blocking my view of the two gorgeous instructors!” A schoolgirl screamed from the dorms, waving her other shoe menacingly.
“How dare you talk to an instructor like this…!” Kwak Du-Yong’s face flushed red with rage.
However, this was just the beginning of his ordeal.
SPLAT!
A juicy, half-eaten fruit landed on Kwak Du-Yong’s shoulder, thrown by a different schoolgirl.
“Why are you doing this to me? I haven’t done anything to offend you!”
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It was always hard to get the ball rolling, but once it starts, it doesn’t stop.
THWACK! SMACK! THUD! CRACK!
All sorts of objects were thrown at Kwak Du-Yong, mainly from the girls’ dorms. Probably because they were all martial artists, their accuracy could be said to be artistic.
“Why are you bullying my new instructors? They’re delicate!”
“Not only are you ugly, you have a shitty personality!”
“You get zero points in the student evaluation!”
“UWOOOOOH!
Wow, a man getting ganged up on by little girls just because he’s ugly… Okay, I know that’s not the whole reason. In the eyes of these students, Kwak Du-Yong was the one who initiated the confrontation.
“These girls are also proud murim warriors; They won’t just stand there and watch an innocent person get bullied,” Ak Yeon-Ho said, smiling proudly.
I shot him an incredulous look and said, “Is it just me, or is their criteria for good and bad determined by appearances?”
“…Hyung-nim, although it isn’t right to judge people by appearances, but also consider their personality, behavior, and speech…” Ak Yeon-Ho covered his face with his fan and laughed, “How do you judge whether a complete stranger is good or bad? In reality, most people instinctively associate good looks with virtue.”
“Sigh…”
“Now do you understand what I meant when I told you that you’re not making good use of your strongest weapon?”
CLAP!
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Ak Yeon-Ho folded his fan and winked at the girls, who immediately shrieked, “KYAAAA!”
“Look, half of the world population is on the side of handsome men,” he continued.
“……” The way this guy is talking, it’s as if he’s a grandmaster passing on his wisdom to his disciples. He does have a point, though…
During the whole time we were calmly talking, Kwak Du-Yong continued being pelted by all sorts of objects.
“Ugh! Ouch! Stop! Please stop!”
He was a large target, making it hard for the kids to miss. Oddly enough, things were being thrown not only from the girls’ dorms, but also the boys’.
Bewildered, I asked, “What about the guys? Don’t tell me it’s also because of our looks…”
“Boys being boys, they’ll do anything that seems fun.”
“……”
Proofreader’s Note: Our MC and Ak Yeon-Ho got that unspoken rizz. Making girls swoon for them without doing anything!
Footnotes:
Mount Mo Sect: A sect of Taoist exorcists. The kind that uses yellow talismans and sticks them on hopping zombies. The equivalent of a shaman or spirit medium. simb024-insert.jpg ↩
Thousand-Armed Bodhisattva (千手觀音): Literal translation – Thousand-armed Avalokiteśvara/Guanyin {:target=“_blank”}, referring to a bodhisattva who embodies the compassion of all Buddhas and is the right principal attendant of Amitabha Buddha. ↩