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Chapter 97. <Your Heart. (1) >
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Translator: thursdays Editor: Yahiko PR: LightBrin
“It’s the first time I’ve seen your face,” said the Lady of the Silver Lily.
“Did the Constellation send you here without an explanation? That’s rare. Constellations usually try to give an apostle as much information as possible to start with. Do you have a bad relationship with the Constellation?”
“An apostle……?”
“You really are clueless. Interesting.”
The Lady of the Silver Lily opened a drawer. She took out a sandglass. It looked just like the sandglass that she had turned over. Ring! The lady lightly pressed a bell on her desk.
The door of the office opened.
“Did you call, milady?”
“Take an extra 15 minutes. The break may last longer, so tell everyone to rest comfortably.”
“You seem to be enjoying the conversation. Shall I bring some tea?”
“Yes. Jerenisan tea.”
“Understood.”
The gray-haired servant nodded. He lowered his head and left the room.
I didn’t know what to say or how to say it, so I stood there awkwardly. The Lady of the Silver Lily raised her brows at me.
“It’s fine. Stand comfortably.”
She did not tell me I could sit down comfortably.
“Which Constellation sent you? Mutia? The Triangle Star? Hesimit Creech? Lazarus? Psyme? Hmm. Looking at your face, it looks like you’ve never heard of them. Who do you represent?”
“The Librarian of All Things……”
My head was befuddled. I did feel that the lady in front of me was not an ordinary person, but I didn’t think it’d be like this. I racked my brain and tried to recall the Librarian’s title.
“No, it was the Corner Librarian who sent me.” [1]
“A library.”
The Lady of the Silver Lily twirled her quill with her left hand.
“Corner… Ah, is it Hamustra?”
Hamustra.
A true name.
This person knew the true name of a Constellation.
“Did Hamustra explain nothing to you?”
“…The Librarian tries to avoid involvement in the Apocalypse as much as he can. Rather than giving us information upfront, he wants us to figure things out ourselves.”
“Apocalypse?”
“A world with collapsing barriers because there is no Constellation… That’s what the Librarian calls a world that is about to end.”
The Lady of the Silver Lily’s eyes became narrow, like she was amused. Her pupils were red, so her gaze still drew attention even when she narrowed her eyes. Her eyes were a color that could overwhelm anyone she looked at.
“As expected of a Constellation, it’s arrogant. Calling others’ world whatever he wants. An Apocalypse? Perhaps…. Hmm. It isn’t wrong that the world will one day perish. But I can’t simply hand over my soul.”
I blinked.
“…It seems that you still don’t know anything. Did you not possess the butler of the Lady of the Golden Silk to steal my soul?”
I shook my head. I had never heard of this before.
“…….”
The Lady of the Silver Lily closed her lips. Her eyes began to moisten as if she was seeing a national treasure. Scrape. The lady continued looking at me as she opened the drawer and took something out. It was a third sandglass.
Ring.
“Did you call for me, milady? I have the tea now.”
“Rest for another 15 minutes.”
“Your employees will be very happy today.”
The servant went out.
The Lady of the Silver Lily looked at me over her teacup while sipping tea.
“Look here, butler.”
“Uh, please call me Kim Gongja. That’s my real name.”
“I don’t want to. It’s impolite. Why are you asking me to call you by your name? Blame yourself for possessing a butler instead of a noble.”
This person had been a little uppity since a while ago, hadn’t she?
“In any case, I understand that your state is like pure white paper. You probably haven’t even received a [strategy guide].”
What was that supposed to be?
“It’s like this.”
The Lady of the Silver Lily took out a piece of paper from her drawer.
Curvy script was written on a paper approximately size A4.
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1. The Lady of the Silver Lily is weak in the sunlight. It is better to schedule dates for the evening and night rather than during the day.
2. The Lady of the Silver Lily has dull taste buds, so she likes exciting food.
3. The Lady of the Silver Lily likes white flowers. However, she receives too many lilies. Keep note of this when choosing a gift.
4. The Lady of the Silver Lily is pragmatic. She prefers conversations about politics, diplomacy, and money. Remember that writing love poems will be useless.
.
.
.
10. The Lady of the Silver Lily is a loyal subject of the empire. She may speak poorly of the empire or the prince, but she will never tolerate it if anyone else were to do so. Be careful.
+
I was speechless. This was crazy. What was that?
“This is the strategy guide that the apostle who came to conquer me in the 6th session had. He was an apostle sent by a Constellation called Mahos. He called it the [target route].”
My mouth opened.
“T-target route……”
“I was so shocked that I poisoned him and took it,” the Lady of the Silver Lily said calmly.
“As he died at my hand, he yelled, [I thoroughly followed the strategy, so why can’t I win you over?!] He sounded as if he had been wronged. But I am the one who feels wronged. How could there be a strategy guide for a person’s heart?”
[The silver-plated heart is expressing her grievances.]
“It’s looking at people like they’re easy. If someone really wants to win my heart, they need to approach me fair and square. However, a strategy guide or target route? It’s rotten to the core.”
“That’s… That’s right.”
“I’m glad you can be sensible.”
The Lady of the Silver Lily put down her teacup.
“There is a reason I appraised you highly. It’s not just that you’re smart. It’s that you still see the people of my world as [human].”
“I-is that so? I feel like you’re saying something that should be obvious….”
“There were numerous brutes who could not even satisfy that obvious condition. Mere beasts that do not regard other people as people. And yet, they believed themselves to be human. Filth.”
I held my breath for a moment.
The Lady of the Silver Lily touched her chin when she saw me do so.
“Hmm?”
After humming, she nodded.
“Is that how it is?”
Thump.
“Do these words mean something to you?”
Thump.
“Have you seen many such beasts as well? Or were you once seen as subhuman by such a beast?”
Thump.
“If not, is this the case? Someone dear to you said something similar—”
“Milady.”
I had to interrupt her speech.
I could no longer stand this feeling of someone splitting open my chest, taking apart my ribs, and staring at my raw heart through a magnifying glass.
[The silver-plated heart looks at you.]
I had to do something.
I opened my mouth.
“Though you say such things, did you not consider me dull because I am in the body of a commoner, not a noble?”
The Lady of the Silver Lily did not even blink.
“What, are you that sad I haven’t called you by your name?”
“It just seems to me that your ladyship is not in a position to speak down to me.”
“I am not acting like I am better. You’re merely a poor butler who caused chaos at the academy.”
The voice of Lady of the Silver Lily sounded a little merry, somehow.
“However, I admit your point is valid.”
Then, the lady coughed as if to bring the conversation back on track.
“Now, what is it?”
“Excuse me?”
“I know that you do not want my soul. In that case, why did you cross the boundaries between worlds to come here? This is a world that repeats every ten days, forever.”
[The silver-plated heart questions your true intentions.]
“It isn’t that the Constellation hated you so much he exiled you. I heard that Hamustra is rather moderate. But you wouldn’t have come here for a vacation. Answer me, actor who plays the role of the Lady of the Golden Silk’s butler.”
“I am……”
“I will hear no lies. The moment you say anything slightly untrue, I will never give you what you want, whatever your purpose. I will not reveal my heart to anyone who does not show their own first.”
I agonized over what to say.
‘I want to make your world become the 25th floor.’
But was this stage really necessary? It wasn’t. The situation in the Tower wouldn’t be troubled if we chose a different stage.
‘A fragment of my Holy Sword is in this world.’
Did I have to collect all of the fragments and complete the Holy Sword? That wasn’t the case, either. Finding Shiny’s sisters will make me stronger as her owner, but in other words, it’ll just make me a little stronger.
“…….”
The reason I had to stay on this stage right now.
“……I don’t know what love is yet.”
“What?”
“Dating or romantic feelings, I’m ignorant to all that. Your ladyship may not know this, but the genre of this world is [romance]. I think this is the right place to learn about love.”
When Master performed her last dance, Bae Hu-ryeong blocked Master’s sword and shouted something.
「This Gongja kid still hasn’t tasted the wonders of the world.」
「Cult master, did you know? This kid still has never fallen in love! He’s never been in a relationship!」
Those words had made a deep impression on me.
“If there is something I lack, I want to learn it. No, I want to know it. Leaving myself ignorant like that? It feels wrong. It’s like I’m buying something that isn’t 100% full.”
The Lady of the Silver Lily examined my expression. Maybe I was just seeing things, but her red eyes looked a little disconcerted.
“That’s why you want to learn love?”
“Yes.”
“With me?”
“That’s…… something I don’t know.”
“Explain.”
I organized my thoughts.
“To be precise, it’s more like I want to learn love from this world.”
“The world.”
“Yes. I want to know what I lack. I want to feel it.”
“Then, why did you come to me? You have your lady. Wouldn’t it be faster with the Lady of the Golden Silk?”
The Heretic Questioner.
The Lady of the Golden Silk.
“I cannot.”
“Why not? Do you hate others who are possessed?”
“It’s not a matter of liking or hating. That person is……”
‘If I were like you,’ that person had said.
He had said that.
“That person is worse than I am.”
“…….”
“To learn something, you have to learn from someone who is better than you.”
The Lady of the Silver Lily sipped her tea. For a while, it was silent.
“I suppose that this time’s Lady of the Golden Silk is unqualified to teach someone love. Rather, she seems like someone who needs to be taught.”
“Yes.”
“But that’s still no reason to come to me.”
“I do have a reason,” I said fervently.
The thoughts that I had in the dungeon filled my head.
“I want to understand you.”
The Lady of the Silver Lily did not seem to expect those words. A drop of tea splashed onto the front of her dress.
She blinked and repeated, “Understand me…?”
“Yes. I don’t know yet whether it’s for the prince or for the empire, but Your Ladyship is loyal and has dedicated your life. I’m curious how you can do that. I want to know what kind of feeling lies in your heart and what you think. If it’s because of love, then I want to feel that feeling, just like you.”
“…….”
“It’s a little embarrassing, even shameful. But this is my honest answer.”
The Lady of the Silver Lily remained silent for a while.
“This…”
This time, I could clearly see it.
“…is truly the first time I’ve come across such a case.”
The Lady of the Silver Lily was flustered.
“You want to know love. That comment alone shows you don’t know people. But you want to understand me? Understanding is not a word to be said lightly. It’s a word that leads people to poison. Understanding is no different than taking responsibility. Yet.”
“Librarian-nim.”
I raised my head and looked into the blank air. Obviously, the Librarian wasn’t there.
However, the Librarian and the top Hunters were no doubt listening to our conversation right at that moment.
“Please stop broadcasting for a moment.”
The air in the office was quiet.
“I want to say something to the Lady of the Silver Lily, privately.”
After a while, a voice responded to my request.
[The Librarian gladly accepts your request.]
[You are allowed ‘skip the scene’ for 10 minutes.]
Okay.
I looked again at the Lady of the Silver Lily.
“I’m a regressor, too.”
I continued, “But the way my regression works is a little different than yours.”
“What is the difference?”
“Your ladyship said that you repeat the last ten days of this life. I go back a day whenever I die.”
“…….”
“It isn’t an ordinary regression, either. If someone kills me, I get a glimpse of that person’s trauma.”
“Trauma?”
“Yes.”
My whispered voice spread through the office.
“I can see the scars, memories, and scenes that have affected a person in the deepest parts of their heart. If their wound is about something precious to them being destroyed, I see the memory of it being destroyed.”
I didn’t need to choose my words carefully. Just by opening my mouth, by letting my tongue loose, I naturally said what I wanted to say. When I told my secret to the Lady of the Silver Lily, I suddenly realized it.
“Because of that, I can understand others a little more easily.”
I.
I had wanted to tell someone my story.
To someone in the same situation. To someone who lived a life similar to mine.
“…….”
The Lady of the Silver Lily was silent. Her eyes became calmer as I continued to speak. I could feel her listening to me seriously.
“It’s a kind of skill. A technique. I’m afraid that I’ll become used to understanding others easily. One of the people I trust most told me, [Never get too used to a skill]. But….”
“But.”
“If I alone understand, one-sidedly….”
“That isn’t true understanding.”
“Still, I can’t just let people be. If I do….”
“If you give up, they’ll wither, become twisted, and die.”
“…….”
“Perhaps it’s hypocritical, but I want to let you know that I’m here, thinking of you and protecting you. If I can just manage that, how blessed would it be? Isn’t that it?”
My throat felt clogged up for a moment.
“……Yes.”
“It’s foolish.”
The Lady of the Silver Lily closed her eyes.
“Understanding is for a single moment, but the responsibility lasts forever.”
It was entering a hell of your own accord.
The Lady of the Silver Lily muttered that and fell silent.
[The Corner Librarian is announcing that this is the end of the skipped scene.]
The young lady of the duchy opened her eyes.
“Very well. Servant of the Lady of the Golden Silk.”
She grabbed one of the sand glasses that she had turned over on her desk. Looking down at the slipping grains of sand, the Lady of the Silver Lily spoke in a quiet voice.
“I shall let you know what love is.”
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[1]: Sorry for any confusion, but the real title of the Librarian is the Corner Librarian. This has been corrected in earlier chapters.