While contemplating the dilemma before me, I grabbed the hem of my dress as if it were a dry mop.
“Well, it must be a difficult request?” Walter said, whispering with a serious expression on his face.
“Yes, it’s difficult, but…”
I, too, murmured with a heavy sigh.
Walter’s expression became heavier. I couldn’t decipher what he was thinking, so I felt nervous for a moment.
“Why… What are you thinking?”
“Hm… You look fine on the surface, but maybe it’s that…?”
“That…?”
“It’s the sickness that makes live.”
Because if he does, then I can continue living as well.
“Then, it’s going to be difficult.”
“What will be difficult?”
“This medicine.”
“You said it’s made exactly according to the prescription?”
“Yes. Painkillers are commonly prescribed for neuro stabilization and pain reduction.”
“…Of course.”
That meant this medicine wasn’t for essential treatment.
“It’s a prescription drug for patients who suffer from extreme pain. It’s a very potent formulation.”
“He does look especially in pain whenever he collapses.”
“Well… It’s a prescription for a person who has only a few days left to live. The purpose is to reduce their pain so they can pass on peacefully.”
For a moment, the strength in my legs that kept me up wavered.
“Are you all right?”
“Yes…I’m fine.”
I stumbled and grabbed the edge of a desk. I slowly opened my trembling mouth. “Then, is there no hope anymore since he’s taking this medicine?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Will there be any difference if I try to stop it?”
“I’m not sure.”
“I mean… He’s been very, very healthy lately. I feel like he’s being more energetic, and he’s had a better complexion nowadays. Is there still no hope?”
I grabbed Walter’s arm tightly.
“Selena… Well…”
Walter seemed to be surprised by my sudden onslaught of questions.
“Even I know…”
…I knew that Walter wouldn’t have the answers I wanted. Nevertheless, I couldn’t stop clinging onto hope.
“The doctor who takes care of the patient would know his constitution the best.”
“…Yes.”
There was nothing wrong with the medicine. That was clear.
His body was in a really bad shape. He might be holding out this long only because he was already exceptionally strong before he fell ill.
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“I understand. Thank you.”
I gently let go of Walter’s arm.
Even though I had already confirmed what the ingredients of that medicine were, I felt even more frustrated.
Trapped in a complex maze, I managed to find a single ray of light from a miniscule opening.
However, it wasn’t an exit, so the despair that flooded my senses was far greater.