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Title: Shiro no Kanata e [ē½ć®å½¼ę¹ćø]\n
Chapter: 1-3, To The Whiteness Far Beyond\n
Author: Masaki Hikaru [ēå“ć²ćć]\n
Illustrator: Takamine Akira [é«å³°é”]\n
Publisher: Charade Bunko\n
Masaki Hikaru is the original author of this work, and this is a fan translation. Feel free to re-post this elsewhere if you like but please credit this site. Iām looking at you, owners of novel aggregator sites.Ā I did buy the original copy of this book, along with the rest of the series, so itāll be great if you can support her by buying her books.
By the way, this work contains BL, or homo-eroticism. This chapter also contains a copulation scene.</u>Ā Children, please stay away.
As I have no formal training in translation theory nor am I an expert in Japanese (nor English, for the matter), I cannot guarantee the quality of this translation work, but I promise I did my best. Furthermore, Iām not terribly confident of this translationā¦ Masaki-senseiās prose can be a little fragmented, and due my incompetence perhaps I find it hard to ensure everything is captured without twisting or adding too many words. But well, I always like a challenge.
Do give the BLCD a listen (Nakamura Yuuichi x Midorikawa Hikaru, Inoue Kazuhiko) if you can.
Chapter 1 Part 3: The Whiteness Far Beyond
They sat in the living room that was free of boxes, pecking at their plates of curry with chopsticks.
Even though Asahi was also busy and had no time to prepare anything better, he felt sorry that he could only offer them a boil-in-the-bag dinner in return for their help. Even the rice had been from a frozen pack. He thought that he should at least serve them some shÅchÅ«, so he took some out of his stockpile.
Asada was fond of drinking, so he poured some into his mug with obvious delight and lifted it to his lips. ShÅchÅ« was something that puts him in an excellent mood.
āā¦Shiomi-san, would you like some more?ā Asahi asked, quietly.
Shiomi only drank just enough to be polite, and Asahi thought he was simply standing on ceremony.
Donāt be too conscious of him, he told himself, yet it was rather difficult for him to look Shiomi in the eye. For some reason Shiomi wasnāt meeting his eyes as well, so he didnāt notice that Asahi was acting strangely around him.
āNo, Iā¦ canāt hold my drink very well. Thank you very much all the same.ā
In that case, he had no reason to make him drink more than he would like to. Asahi tilted the bottle of shochu in his hands towards Asadaās mug, instead.
āSince the party is beginning to liven up, let me tell you guys a ghost story,ā said Asada as he shot a grin at Shiomi. Truth was, he was the only one having a great time.
Every time Asada brought someone new to Asahiās lodge, he would tell everyone one of his scary stories. Asahi was fairly used to this habit of his, so he went yea, yea, and paid Asada no heed. He was about to continue with his food, but he paused when Shiomi said nervously:
āEhā¦ Iām not very good at handling ghost stories, so no thank you.ā
It was strange hearing someone as large as Shiomi say something like that, and Asahi thought about how people who werenāt good with ghost stories would usually be thoroughly spooked by them. However, men who disliked ghost stories usually hid that weakness of theirs under a faƧade of strength instead of outright admitting it like Shiomi did.
Mountains climbers who spent the night in mountain lodges, especially groups of university students, would usually start telling ghost stories amongst themselves. It was almost a given if the group had any female novice climbers in it. It seems that Shiomi wasnāt the sort of man who could use ghost stories to attract members of the fairer sex, despite his dauntless, tough-guy exterior.
While Asahi felt sorry for Shiomi, he also thought that Shiomi looked almost comical. Furthermore, he also thought Shiomi look ratherā¦ endearing. He wondered if he was inclined to think this way because Shiomi was younger than him.
It would appear that not only Asahi found Shiomiās discomfort amusing. Asada was now slightly tipsy, and his eyes glittered with mirth.
āThen I shanāt tell a ghost story. I shall just tell you a strange tale that Iāve heard before. Thatāll be okay, wonāt it?ā Asada pressed, and Shiomi reluctantly nodded.
Looking at him, Asahi thought that Shiomi shouldnāt have carelessly said yes, as he lifted his own cup to his lips. Nevertheless, though he knew he was being mean, he was very interested to see how Shiomi would react.
āSince youāre going to be part of the Mountain Rescue Squad, you should have heard many stories from your seniors in the forceā¦ but Iāll tell you a harmless one. Have you ever attempted a solo expedition up a mountain in winter?ā
āNoā¦ā said Shiomi, and Asada began his tale.
āA friend of mine once said that ten years ago, he did a hike spanning three days and two nights with Mount Kita-Hodaka as his starting point. He got on a trail on Mount Karasawa, intending to go from deep within the mountains of Hodaka all the way to KamikÅchi, passing through Nishi-Hodaka. The weather was good at first, but not long after he passed the mountain lodge on the ridges of Mount Hodaka a snowstorm kicked up. The snowstorm quickly became worse and he agonised over whether he should to go back to that mountain lodge to seek shelter. He eventually lost his bearings, but decided to proceed on his route as planned as he plowed through the snow which was now as high as his waist. Then he dug a hole in the snow, and just as he was wondering if he should bivouac in it, he saw a beam of light from someone elseās torch. Relieved to find that he was not alone, he called out to that man, and that man immediately responded in kind. That man was also a solo trekker, and when he spoke to him the man assured that he had not strayed off his path. He also told my friend if he continued on this path he would reach the next shelter faster than if he backtracked to the mountain lodge at Mount Hodaka. My friend trusted him, and started to walk alongside with him.ā
Shiomi swallowed hard, but continued to be all ears. This was the first time Asahi heard this story, so once again his chopsticks stilled as he listened. Asada continued, in a tone that was almost disinterested:
āIt would have been tiring to converse as they walked, so they mostly walked in silenceā¦ then suddenly, he saw a light in the distance. He then started running towards it, comforted by the thought that it was the shelter the man had spoken of, but his crampons started to slip underneath his boot so he bent over and tightened the band of the crampon which had come loose. When he straightened himself, the snowstorm was gone. When he looked behind, he found that his companion had also disappeared. And unfolding right before him was a familiar sight; it was the bus terminal in KamikÅchi.ā
Asaba paused, and Shiomi had a inscrutable expression on his face, like he was pondering over something. After a short while, he asked timidly:
āErmā¦ what does this all mean? Did he walk all the way from Kita-Hodaka to KamikÅchi all by himself, after all?ā
Asada smiled a smile of genuine pleasure at Shiomiās question. Asahi also turned the story over in his head, and began to feel goose bumps prickling at his skin.
āAccording to his watch, only three hours had passed since he started off. This would mean that he had completed a three-day hike through a snowstorm in three hours. No matter how used he was to trekking through mountains, or how much stamina he had, it would have been humanly impossible.ā
Ahā¦ muttered Shiomi as he rubbed his arms vigorously. āUwa, all my hairs are standing now.ā
Asada chuckled contentedly, like he had gotten the reaction heād sought from Shiomi. His eyes fell on Asahi, who was striving to look nonchalant and unaffected, and his smile widened.
āThere is another catch to this storyā¦ when he arrived at the KamikÅchi bus terminal, the rescue team showed up and there was a huge commotion. According to the report that was submitted to the police, he was due to return from the mountains three days ago. In other words, while he thought that only three hours had passed since he set off, in reality an entire week had gone by. Even his food supplies, all five daysā worth of it including reserves, were untouchedā¦ it sounded so unreal at that time that only those involved knew about this incident.ā
This time, even Asahi frowned, showing that he too was slightly creeped out. Shiomi had turned decidedly green, and offered no words in reply.
Asada had been in and out mountains as a member of the Mountain Rescue Squad for more than ten years, and this made his story seem oddly credible. Furthermore, Asahi didnāt think he would make up something like this.
In the silence that ensued, Asada helped himself to the bottle of shÅchÅ« and happily poured the contents of his mug down his throat.
āWellā¦ there were many things we couldnāt explain, but it wasnāt uncommon to find climbers who has had their sense of time distorted during a blizzard. My friend drank as he laughed, telling me that it felt as if he had been hoodwinked by a raccoon dog spirit or a fox spirit in the mountains.ā
If it was simply something that he saw in the mountains, he could say that his eyes were playing tricks on him, but in this caseā¦ perhaps the most unsettling part of the story was that it could not be explained by logical means.
This was not a āstrange taleā like Asada had claimed, but a legitimate ghost story, thought Asahi. Shiomi, who was self-admittedly bad at handling ghost stories, remained silent. He also had a very stiff expression on his face.
āAsahi, donāt you have any stories too?ā asked Asada.
No, was Asahiās short reply. Truth was, he had heard many tales from Old Man Sakata and the climbers that stopped by his lodge, but he wasnāt very good at telling them.
āYou should have at least one. Sakata-san has been managing this lodge for close to fifty years, so he must have had some interesting experiences while working here.ā
Donāt pretend you have nothing to tell, said Asada as he pressed Asahi for a story. Men who were drunk were persistent, and it seemed that Asada would not back down unless he appeased him, so Asahi searched his memories for something to say.
āYou might not exactly consider this scary, but when Sakata-san came to open the lodge in spring there was a dead body in itā¦ this was thirty years ago, and it might be the scariest thing that ever happened to Sakata-san when he was working here.ā
Asahi noticed that Shiomi was getting paler and paler by the second and decided not to continue. He thought it was best not to add that the climber that was discovered dead in Sakataās lodge had looked like he was running away from something. He had used cloth to cover the window of the hut, and was found dead with his eyes still watching the door. He also had a field knife firmly grasped in one hand and a shovel in the other, and a line from a Buddhist sutra was found carved into the corner of one of the floorboards.
Perhaps Asada had his fill of frightening the new recruit, for no other stories fell from his lips thereafter.
When Asahi was tidying up the living room, he spotted Tsurugi curled up in a ball as he slept on an old blanket in his bed, and smiled to himself. Afterwards, he retired to the caretakerās room in the lodge.
Although it was called a caretakerās room, it was a tiny room that was only as large as four and a half tatami mats. There was a low table and a document cabinet against one wall, and a clothing rack in place of a wardrobe on the other. When he laid his bedding in the middle of the room, there would be no place to walk.
From a drawer in the document cabinet he retrieved a logbook he used to record all daily happenings in the mountain lodge while it was open. He then picked up a pen and wrote todayās date, the weather, how Asada and Shiomiās help had allowed him to put the lodge in order ahead of schedule, and how he was now well-poised to receive the large number of mountain-climbers that will drop by his lodge during the busiest period of the year, the Golden Week holiday.
He sighed, and the tiny desk lamp on the low table he was writing on blinked off and then came back on again. There was a wind blowing, and power-transmission can become unstable at times. However, if he were to complain about the intermittent electricity, he would receive a good telling off from Sakata, who would remind him that he should be thankful that they had any electricity up in the mountain in the first place.
After all, the only reason why they could use electricity at a place that was more than 2000 metres above sea-level was because of the transmission cables that the power company so kindly laid for them.
When Sakata first opened the Masago Mountain Lodge, there was no power and no running water.
Presently, all Asahi needed to do was turn the handle of a tap and a pipe drawing water from a nearby stream would deliver water to the lodge. He could use electricity and the phone, too. He could take showers as well, even if he couldnāt do so every day. A sewerage system was also put in place some years ago in response to the growing number of climbers.
Asahi was thankful for all these, but he thought he shouldnāt get used to all these conveniences.
There was a sound in the hallway, and Asahi turned to look at the door. The knob slowly turned, and the door quietly swung open. Asadaās face peered at him from the hallway.
āYouāre awake. Good, that saves me the trouble of waking you,ā he said, before letting himself into the room despite not being invited in.
Perhaps he had intended to stay the night from the very beginning; Asada was wearing a T-shirt that was thin enough to be worn as an undershirt inside his mountaineering jacket, and a pair of fleece trousers. Even if they were inside a mountain lodge, he should be feeling chilly in that T-shirtā¦ but Asada seemed unfazed by the cold.
āā¦ You always do whatever suits you anyway, even if you found me asleep.ā Asahi let slip that sarcastic retort, but Asada chucked easily. āI guess you are right,ā he said.
And like it was the most natural thing in the world, he sat himself on the bedding that was laid out on the floor and wrapped his arms around Asahi, pulling him towards himself.
āHeyā¦ wait. Give me some notice before doing that,ā said Asahi in annoyance. He had dropped the pen he was holding in his surprise at the sudden embrace, and it disappeared somewhere under the low table.
āMy bad,ā said Asada, and held him fast despite Asahiās attempts to pry himself free. A large hand cupped Asahiās jaw in a possessive hold and turned his face towards him, and Asada sealed Asahiās lips with his own.
āNnā¦ā Asahi frowned at the sudden onslaught, but tension gradually left his shoulders, and he placed his hands on Asadaās arms.
Asada exhaled a long, deep sigh of contentment as his lips left Asahiās. āWinter in Banbajima is the worstā¦ you look like an angel right now,ā he said, with his arms still wound around Asahi.
The Banbajima police outpost was where Asada had to spend the entire of last winter. The Murodou police outpost will close at the same time the Alpine Route shuts for the winter, and the policemen on duty supporting operations in both outposts would descend the mountain. Thereafter, they will only be mobilised if an accident occurred in mountains.
A separate force of five men picked from the Mountain Rescue Squad will move themselves to the Banbajima police outpost, where they will be permanently stationed for the winter from December to April. The Banbajima outpost was located at the foot of the route up Mount Tsurugi along the Hayatsuki ridge line. This means that five men would have to cram in a small living space and would have no one else but each other to talk to for close to five months. Asada once complained to him that there was nothing to do but suffer in mental anguish.
If Asahi had to face the same people twenty-four hours a day for months in a remote, fairly inaccessible place with nothing for miles all aroundā¦ he wouldnāt have lasted three days. On the other hand, Asada was assigned to that duty the year he turned thirty. He had spent every winter in Banbajima for the last five years, and Asahi respected him for being able to do something like that.
āIām going to run out of gasā¦ allow me to refill my tank.ā He pressed his lips against the nape of Asahiās neck, and Asahiās shoulders heaved sharply.
āThe new recruit is hereā¦ is he not?ā A hallway stood between his room and Shiomiās, but Asahi still felt uneasy knowing that he was, nevertheless, under the same roof. He tried to twist himself out of Asadaās arms, but the grip around him only grew tighter.
āItāll be fine. Heās had shÅchÅ« so heās fast asleep. Even during the climbing course, and during last monthās winter training, once heās had alcohol he would sleep better than any of us.ā
A large hand snaked into the sweatshirt he was wearing as pyjamas and brushed against his bare skin. Asada moved slowly, revelling in the sensation of Asahiās skin against his. His teeth gently grazed Asahiās earlobe, and Asahi lost all strength to fight back.
He knows every single one of my weak points, he thought, with a twinge of mortification.
āAsahiā¦ you are as sensitive as ever. Even your nipples are hard.ā The pads of his fingers caressed his chest, and Asahi could feel Asadaās breath against his ear. In spite of himself Asahiās face grew hot, but there was nothing he could do about it now.
āThatāsā¦ thatās what an old man would say, you know,ā began Asahi, but a kiss descended on his lips once again, as if to prevent him from making any more snarky remarks. A tongue slipped in, tickling the inside of his mouth, and something like a cold chill ran up Asahiās spine.
His head grew foggy, and his gaze became vacant. Asada indulged him, intent on pleasuring him, and his kisses felt good. With his lids half-closed, Asahi gently put his arms around Asada, setting his hands on the hard muscles on Asadaās broad back. Asadaās body was that of a veteran mountain rescue trooper who never missed any of his training sessions, and it was more solidly built than it looked.
Depending on the situation at hand, Asada might have to carry a fallen climber slung over his shoulder. The load on his back added up to about a hundred kilograms including the weight of his own equipment, so it was natural that his back would be powerfully muscled.
Asada broke the kiss and ran his tongue along Asahiās moist lips. āā¦ Did you miss me? Even just a little?ā he asked, and then squinted at Asahiās face.
āNo?ā offered Asahi with no particular emotion in his voice.
A trace of dryness appeared in Asadaās smile. āSay you did, even if you had to lie.ā
āā¦Would you be happy, if I lied?ā
āYou arenāt cute at all, you know?ā said Asada with the corners of his lips still curled up in his earlier smile. He flipped Asahi over on the bedding and straddled him, but Asahi did not resist him nor did respond to his advancesā¦ he simply laid there in silence as he stared up at Asadaās virile face.
āā¦ Iāll make you cute,ā Asada grunted, and deftly rolled up Asahiās sweatshirt. He pressed his lips on Asahiās bare skin, and Asahi was no longer able to disregard the sensations Asadaās warm tongue produced as it slowly crawled across his belly. His abdominal muscles clenched, and he instinctively bit down on a cry.
āDonāt smother your voice,ā Asada grumbled.
āBut he is here, isnāt heā¦?ā Asahi shot a glance at the hallway, and an odd expression flashed across Asadaās face. It wasnāt a look of dissatisfaction, nor was a look of insecurity; it was a look that was hard to place, but if Asahi had to pick from the range of human emotions he would say it was something between amusement and pathos.
āAre you that concerned about Shiomi? He did say he āfell in love with you at first sightā or something like that, after all. It wasnāt at all bad to have a young man say he liked you, eh?ā
āPlease stop this nonsense. I am not fond of men like him,ā said Asahi with a displeased look on his face, and Asada paused to ponder over Asahiās last statement.
āā¦ Well. I guess thatās fine,ā he eventually said, and his frown unfurled. He probably thought he should not waste any more time on useless banter. Unceremoniously, he plunged a hand into Asahiās sweatpants and reached in between his legs in an attempt to draw out his manhood in a manner that was little short of outrageous, and Asahiās hips jerked.
āā¦ Ahā¦ ahā¦ā Asahi curled his arms around his neck and a faint cry escaped him. It was hard to remain stubborn when being directly stimulated by skilful fingers.
While he had no intention of acting coy for him, he felt a little guilty to always be on the receiving end of attention. After all, they werenāt in the sort of relationship in which he could expect to be indulged unconditionally, like this.
Asahi exhaled and uncurled his arms from Asadaās neck. Slowly, he ran his hands down Asadaās back before slipping them into Asadaās pants.
The sound of the rustling of their clothes was almost too loud for him to bear.
āā¦!ā The moment his fingers brushed against the tip a furrow creased Asadaās brow. Hoping to push him a little closer to the edge, Asahi put a little more strength into his grip, and what he held in his hands steadily became harder and harder. Encouraged by his honest response, Asahi allowed his fingers to roam, losing himself in the sensations it produced.
āYou shouldnāt try to press my buttons like that, you know. Old men get real scary when they turn serious, and you may never be able rid yourself of them after that,ā said Asada as he seized Asahiās wrist, interrupting his little prank.
Asahi, in a rare show of candidness, murmured idly: āā¦ It was fun, though.ā He continued, in a tired sounding voice: āThough I couldnāt rid myself of you even before you became an old man.ā
āThatās true.ā Asada had regained his composure, and he briskly proceeded to strip Asahi of his underwear.
āWhaā¦ Asada, sanā¦ā Asahi felt that Asada was being too hasty and opened his mouth in protest, but Asada pretended not to hear. Placing his hands on Asahiās knees, he unreservedly spread Asahiās legs apart and wedged himself in between them, and an involuntary flush ran up Asahiās neck.
Perhaps he looked like he was going to resist him, for when Asahi lifted a hand to cover his own face Asada immediately pinned that hand down on the sheets with his enormous strength.
āBe obedient and let me take you.ā
āā¦ Nnā¦!ā Donāt be too pompous, was what he wanted to say but that retort was taken away from him by lips that closed over his.
It was then that Asahi finally closed his eyes in defeat, allowing all tension to leave his body as he gave himself over to pleasure that Asadaās body had to offer.
Asahi was about to turn over in bed when his eyes flew open. His throat felt parched.
It was probably close to dawn; a faint light was streaming in from the window. He looked at his alarm clock for the time and saw that it was a few minutes past 6 AM.
He had intended to keep all of his more colorful moans in check, but Asahi had no memory of the second half of last night.
āCurse this feisty old manā¦ā He glowered at Asada, who was sound asleep, and then languidly sat up.
He would often take a jab at Asada by calling him an āold manā, but thanks to his daily training regime Asada had far more stamina than the regular thirty-five year old. And to be made to keep up with that, wellā¦ even though Asahi was seven years younger, it was inevitable that he would be thoroughly exhausted after that.
āI hope he didnāt hear usā¦ā He threw a fleeting glimpse at the door to hallway, and sighed.
Asahi then took his time to slowly put on his sweatshirt and sweatpants before quietly opening the door and coming out into the hallway. He wanted to get himself a drink, and it was almost time for him to prepare breakfast. Last nightās dinner was pre-packaged, so he wanted to serve freshly boiled rice for todayās breakfast.
With his mind occupied with thoughts of breakfast preparations he entered the living room, but his toe caught something on the floor.
Did I kick Tsurugi by mistakeā¦? He thought as he fumbled in the darkness for the switch for the lights, and when he flipped it the living room lit up.
His eyes fell on something by the wall at his feet and Asahi almost cried out in surprise, but he hurriedly stifled it by putting both hands over his mouth. His entire being stiffened when he realised what he had kicked.
Tsurugi lifted his head, and was looking up at him with his tail wagging happily. Curled up next to him was Shiomi, sitting on the floor and hugging his knees. Asahi never expected that Shiomi might sitting there, so it gave him quite a shock.
āAsahi-san, good morning.ā said Shiomi, sounding like he was still half-asleep. His gaze was unfocused as he regarded Asahi sleepily.
āGood morningā¦ not! What were you doing here, in a place as cold as thisā¦?ā exclaimed Asahi, his breath coming out in white puffs as he hurried to the nearby stove to turn it on. This should warm up the room pretty quickly, he thought.
āAsahi-san.ā Shiomi called out to him stiffly from behind him, and Asahi turned to face him.
Shiomi remained sitting on the floor, and he dropped his gaze and began stroking Tsurugiās fur with his right hand. He looked like he was still trying to find the right words to say.
Donāt tell meā¦ he heard us last night. It was possible, Asahi thought as he watched Shiomi hesitate to speak to him.
āAhā¦ā Asahi began, at the same thing Shiomi opened his mouth: āE-Erm.ā
āPlease go first,ā said Asahi, and Shiomi fixed his gaze determinedly on Asahi.
āAre you going out with Asada-san?ā he asked.
It was now plain that he had heard them the night before, and Asahi looked up at the ceiling, around the room, and at anything that wasnāt Shiomi. Asada had carelessly said, āItās be fineā last night, but it clearly wasnāt.
āGoing outā¦? No, we arenāt.ā
He wasnāt going out with Asada, nor would he call himself and Asada āloversā. They simply fulfilled each otherās sexual needs whenever it was convenient. Asahi couldnāt think of a time they ever exchanged sweet nothings.
āButā¦ last night. I know that Asada-san went into your room. If you two arenāt going out, then whyā¦?ā
Does he not understand why two people may share a bed even if they werenāt going out? It seems that he was still rather unspoiled compared to other men of his age nowadaysā¦. As Asahi watched Shiomiās features twist in bewilderment as he sat there, lost in thought, something bitter welled up at the back of his throat.
There was once a time Asahi will turn this question over and over in his head, like Shiomi was doing now. However, he had long given up on devoting himself wholeheartedly to one person.
āCan you do things like that, if you two werenāt going out?ā asked Shiomi, confused, and Asahi looked down at him with a hollow expression in his eyes. Asahi couldnāt recall it very vividly now, but Shiomiās voice had the same quality as Ryouās.
And it felt exactly as though he was rebuking him.
āI can choose to do whatever with whomever I please and it is none of your business, isnāt it?ā Asahi tried his best to hide his discomfort, but he was surprised by how cold and emotionless his voice sounded, even to himself.
Yet Shiomi refused to back down. āBut Iā¦ I donāt think this suits you, Asahi-san. I mean, you are such a beautiful person, so whyā¦ā
The more Shiomi tried to explain, the colder Asahiās chest grew, and he began to find it more and more difficult to breathe.
He hated Shiomi, for disrupting the peaceful life that he had led, for appearing out of nowhere with the same face and voice as Ryou, and for throwing his heart into disarray. Why wonāt you leave me aloneā¦! he wanted to shout.
As though he had detected the shift in Asahiās mood, Tsurugi got up from the floor and came towards Asahi. He pushed his wet nose at Asahiās balled up fists, prompting Asahi to look down into his large, round eyes. Calm down, those eyes seem to say, and Asahi let out a long sigh. Due to Tsurugiās intervention his nerves had quietened down somewhat. In a calmer voice, he said:
āā¦ You have only known me for less than a day, and I donāt really want to hear about what suits me or donāt suit me from the likes of you. You did say something about āfalling in love with me at first sightā, didnāt you? If you donāt mind a purely physical relationship, why donāt you be my partner, too? However, you wonāt get to sleep with me a second time if I find out that you were really bad at sex.ā
He must say something so off-putting, so loathsome, that Shiomi would no longer be able to say that he liked him. With that thought in mind, Asahi flung at him all the words he could think of that would make Shiomi think he lacked morals.
Upon hearing his words, however, Shiomi jerked his head upwards, scrambled to his feet and grabbed Asahi, his fingers digging hard into Asahiās arms. Is he going to hit me? Asahi thought mildly, feeling oddly calm about it. It wasnāt surprising, given the condescending tone he used just now.
āIā¦ Thatās not what I want! I meanā¦ I like you, Asahi-san, butā¦!ā He broke off, frustrated, as he bit down on his lip. His shoulders heaved violently as he tried to calm himself down, his handsome face twisted in agony.
Whyā¦ does he look so genuinely hurt? He could simply ignore what I said, Asahi thought stormily.
āHey Shiomi. Resorting to brute strength is against the rules, you know.ā From the hallway an insouciant voice broke through the strained atmosphere in the living room, and Shiomi made a sound of surprise and released his hold on Asahiās arms. He had been gripping them so hard that Asahiās arms still felt numb.
āN-Noā¦ that wasnātā¦ā Shiomi said, as he turned to Asada, but his words trailed off.
āIām sorry,ā he finally said, as he lowered his head in apology to Asahi.
He should be the one apologizing to Shiomi instead, Asahi thought, but he said nothing as he turned his face away. In the edge of his vision he saw Shiomiās shoulders slump.
āWhat is this, what is this? Did I really come in between you two?ā Asada said lightheartedly, but Asahi didnāt answer him. He turned and walked right past him without stopping as he headed towards the kitchen.
It was now difficult for him to face both men at once, now that Shiomi knew what happened between him and Asada the night before.
Asahi violently washed the rice in water so frigid that he could no longer feel his fingers, and poured the rice into the rice-cooker. While the rice was cooking, he made miso soup and a stir-fry of vegetables and ham. His back was turned on Asada and Shiomi the entire time, so he had no idea what kind of expression they wore. Shiomi was silent; he probably thought it wasnāt wise to argue with his superior at work.
This conversation had nothing to do with Asahi, but at the sound of Asadaās voice his heart pounded once, hard, in his chest. His hands had been busy tearing leaves off a head of cabbage, but they stilled. He knew it wasnāt good manners to eavesdrop, but he couldnāt help himself.
āOur target is to reach Tsurugisawa in thirty minutes. You have permission to use light-duty crampons when going over the snow in the ravine.ā
Their conversation was so mundane it was almost disappointingā¦. no. On second thought, the route from here to Tsurugisawa was an uphill path through a snowy ravine, and the required walking time according to road maps in guidebooks was two hours, so perhaps the their exchange wasnāt quite so every day after all.
There was a long pause before Shiomi answered: āO-Okay.ā
Asahi couldnāt see it from where he was, but he could picture that taut expression on Shiomiās face as he agreed. For Asada-san to be so strict with his demands would mean was he had high expectations for Shiomi. Asahi could still remember Asadaās high spirits last year in summer when he told him: āI can hardly wait until his appointment to the Mountain Rescue Squad is officially announced.ā
As the soup stock of dried sardines for the miso soup simmered on the stove, Asahi thought how Shiomi had said he liked him right after meeting him for the first time. He also wondered how serious Shiomi actually wasā¦ and sighed.
More than anything he felt annoyed with himself, and at how uneasy those thoughts made him feel.
āWell then, weāll see you again. Many thanks for the food.ā
āNo, I should be thanking you insteadā¦ you two saved me a great deal of work by helping me with the tidying up. Thank you very much for stopping by.ā
Asahi stood in front of the lodge as he saw the two men off at the door. They left the same way they arrived, in yellow mountaineering jackets with large blue rucksacks on their shoulders.
Shiomi had his head tilted in a slight bow. āIāll come by again,ā he muttered.
Tsurugi ran joyful circles around his legs as though he could understand what he was saying, and Shiomi stooped his large body over to ruffle the fur on Tsurugiās head. Perhaps it was because Shiomi had spent the entire of last night curled up beside him; Tsurugi was now completely attached to him.
Actually, donāt come by again, was what Asahi really wanted to say but couldnāt because Asada was still present. Instead, he offered Shiomi a noncommittal smile as he averted his gaze, fixing it somewhere below Shiomiās head.
He said some really terrible things just now, so Shiomi must now be thoroughly disenchanted with him.
Though Asahi would occasionally have no choice but to cooperate with the police during emergency rescue operations, he hoped that other than those times, he would never need to see Shiomi againā¦. Shiomi had set off too many alarms inside him.
Asahiās heart was like a tranquil surface of water, and he wished for it to remain calm and unruffled. Shiomi, however, had plunged his hand into the waters, stirring them up. Yet Asahi was unable to ignore his existence; Shiomiās likeness awakened the visage of a man that had been lying dormant in Asahiās memories.
The two men set off on the snow covered path. As Asahi watched their figures recede into the distance, he was reminded of the day he came to the Northern Alps for the first time.
The day Asahi was brought here by Sakata, he, too, walked the same snowy path to this lodge.
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