Parsed with an automated reader. The content accuracy is not guranteed.
Chapter 19\n
[TLN: Itās Mikura POV]\n
Title: The Endlessly Worrying Mikura-san\n
āPatan,ā the sound of the paperback book being closed resounded hollowly throughout the room.\nAs I heaved a large sigh, I laid down on my bed, my body feeling incredibly sluggish and heavy.\n
I finished the book that Aoto lent me the night after I borrowed it from him.\n
In terms of whether the contents of the book fit my tastes, I didnāt really think so.\nItās just that I was thinking about Aoto liking this sort of book and about how I could talk to him again after I finished the book.\nIt was because I kept thinking these thoughts that I couldnāt stop turning the pages.\n
Until yesterday, this book mustāve always been inside Aotoās room.\nAnd right now, it is in my hands.\nThinking that, I, for some reason, felt a strange feeling of both pain and joy.ć\n
Aoto, who I had met yesterday at a cafe, was aloof as always.\nNo matter who heās with, no matter where he is, no matter what is taking place, he is never influenced by anything, and he never breaks his own pace or atmosphere.\nAnd yet, despite that, for some reason, he just canāt ignore those who are in difficult situations.\n
Iāve always been so interested in him, who does these sorts of things.\n
āā¦ā¦Haa.ā(Mikura)\n
Another sigh escaped me as I slumped down and rested my chin on the pillow.\n
I met him last year, the first semester of our freshman year.\n
At that time, I, who had just become the class representative, was constantly given chore-like tasks to do.\nNot once had I thought of the work, which had come to me as a matter of course, to be a pain or an annoyance.\n
If someone has to do it, itās surely the most efficient for me to be the one doing so.\nAnd resenting other peopleās incompetence and lack of responsibility is a source of stress.\n
If you put yourself in this position of doing everything- whether you forget something or whether you fail to do something- you can always take responsibility for all of it.\nThatās the way Iāve always thought.\n
And thatās why I have never wanted help with my work.\n
āBut if the two of us work on it together, itāll be more efficient wonāt it?ā(Sakuraba)\n
The first day he helped me.\nWalking side by side with me, Aoto said this to me, while carrying a large amount of textbooks.\n
āMaybe so, but spending time searching for someone to help me is a waste of time.ā(Mikura)\n
āSo, in other words, I just need to notice you and then help you myself.ā(Sakuraba)\n
āSo then letās just go with that. Of course there will be times when I donāt notice you, though.ā(Sakuraba)\n
Proudly saying such a thing, Aoto chuckled, not looking at me.\n
āAnyway, youāre so overly focused on logic. Are you always like this?ā(Mikura)\n
Feeling like I had been manipulated by logic into agreeing with him, I couldnāt help but sarcastically make that remark.\nLooking back, I think that I was kind of childish.\n
[TLN: Sorry, translating this segment was kind of difficult. I get what the segment means in Japanese but I donāt have the words to really convey what the author is trying to say in English.]\n
But, in response to me, he-\n
āThereās no way Iām always like this. Itās just if I hadnāt said it the way I did, you probably wouldnāt have let me help you.ā(Sakuraba)\n
āEhā¦.ā(Mikura)\n
āTo be honest, I couldnāt care less about efficiency or whatnot. I just feel bad about you working on all of this alone. Thatās all it is.ā(Sakuraba)\n
The face of the joking and laughing Aoto from back then- even now itās still burned into my mind.\nThose mischievous innocent, yet still kind, eyes.\n
In the end, even now, Iām still in love with those eyes.\n
Butā¦ā¦\n
āā¦ā¦Is he not interested in me?ā(Mikura)\n
I asked what he thought about relationships with the opposite sex.\nIn response to my question, he answered by saying that he didnāt want his time for his hobbies to be reduced by dating someone.\nAll this time, all I could think about was what Aoto thought of me.\nBut, even disregarding his personal feelings for me, he didnāt seem to be interested in love in the first place.\n
Rather, Aoto said that I was attractive.\nI was really happy about that.\nYesterday, when I remembered it while I was taking a bath, I even shrieked in the bathtub.\n
But, at the same time, I was thinking to myself that maybeā¦.\n
It was precisely because Aoto wasnāt interested in me in the first place that he was able to say that.\nAs a classmate and as a friend, he cares about me, but, as a member of the opposite sex, he was completely unaware of me.\n
And perhaps that guess is right on the mark.\n
āHaaaaā¦.ā(Mikura)\n
I sighed for what seems like the umpteenth today, rolling onto my back.\nLooking up at the ceiling, his face came to mind.\n
āAoto-kunā¦..ā(Mikura)\n
Unconsciously, a pathetic voice left my mouth.\n
There was one other major obstacle in the way of my love.\nTo be honest, itās the existence of Yuunagi.\n
Yuunagi Shizuno.\nThe girl whoās been getting closer to Aoto and who, before I even realized, became his friend.\n
That girl is definitely in love with Aoto.\nThere is no doubt about it. Iām a hundred percent sure.\n
Otherwise, she wouldnāt have come to our class so often to talk to Aoto.\nBesides, the look on her face when sheās talking with him is definitely of someone in love.\nAnd because heās good-hearted, Aoto keeps her company, but stillā¦ā¦.ugh\n
But when and why did such a girl fall in love with Aoto.\n
No, Aoto is certainly a wonderful man.\nCool. Cute. Calm. Kind. But sometimes a bit cold-hearted and distant. He smells good. His eyes are pretty. [TLN: What is with people smelling other people istg]\nThere is no end to my list of good points like these.ć\n
But I donāt think he was ever involved with Yuunagi before.\nIf he was, there was no way I wouldāve missed it.\n
Thereās no way- Was it outside of school?\nIf thatās the case, then it would make sense, but it seems very unlikelyā¦..\n
ā¦..No, I canāt be thinking about this right now.\nThe problem is that sheās incredibly beautiful, and her personality is practically perfect too.\n
Honestly, we arenāt that close.\nBut, from what Iāve heard from others in the form of rumors and her reputation, as well as from a bit of my own observation, Iāve come to realize that Yuunagi is what you call a āgood girl.ā\n
To make it worse, sheās also quite attractive.\nThe balance between her modesty and liveliness is another positive as well.\n
In short, sheās a strong enemy.\nIt may not be an exaggeration to say that sheās the worst person to have to compete with.\n
To the not-interested-in-romance Aoto, Yuunagi Shizuno isā¦..\nMikura Yuzuri, your first love is quite a thorny pathā¦..[TLN: Yes she referred to herself in third]\n
But, even if thatās the case, this love is not small enough that I can give up on it.\nNo matter what I have to do, I will definitely become Aotoās girlfriend.\nI have already decided that I will give my heart and my body to him.\n
However, it goes without saying that the strategy I use is the key to this.\nI have to create a plan.\nA strategy that makes the not-interested-in-love Aoto more conscious of love that also simultaneously makes sure he doesnāt get stolen by Yuunagiā¦..\n
ćā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦\n
ćā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦\n
ćā¦ā¦\n
I see, I can do something like that!\n
Getting a sudden flash of inspiration, I unconsciously jumped off my bed and leapt to my feet.\n
I have to hurry.\nNow that Iāve decided this, I have to act quickly.\n\n\n\n\n[TLN: Sorry, Iām back now. Went through one of my biggest motivation lows since like the middle of quarantine. Wonāt go into details since you probably donāt care, but I am getting a bit of therapy, which has helped. Hoping to return to translating actively+I kind of want to actually pick up a new series to stay motivated]\n