Not being with you is more painful than being with someone I donāt like
I wonder why Shimotsuki accepted the invitation.
The members of the overnight learning program are supposed to be made up of four men and four women. Of course, Azusa, Yuzuki, and Kirari, the girls in Ryoma Ryuzakiās harem, will be with us.
And it seems that Shimotsuki has joined the rest of us.
Why did she join the group when she had said she was not good with Ryuzaki so much?
Could it be that she didnāt know that she was going to be in a group with Ryuzaki?
I was so worried that I couldnāt help but ask.
āHey, did you like our overnight learning group?ā
It was after school.
As usual, she came to my house and nodded her head as she ate the cake I offered her as a snack.
āYes.ā
She seemed to be busy munching on the cake and was just moving her mouth without saying anything else. I felt a little impatient, since she was usually so chatty that she would explain things to me without even asking.
āAre you sure itās okay? The group that Shimotsuki belonged to also has ā¦ā¦ that guy, you know? Do you know that Ryuzaki will also be working as part of the same group?ā
āYes, of course.ā
She nodded again, and this time began to gulp down her juice.
I wondered if she didnāt mind being in a group with Ryuzaki.
She is carefree and relaxed enough to enjoy a good snack.
She had always had such a hard time with Ryuzaki, but her ā¦ā¦ natural attitude seemed unnatural in contrast.
āDonāt you hate it?ā
You canāt get what you want out of a roundabout question.
So I asked her frankly.
āIsnāt it painful to be with Ryuzaki?ā
Shimotsuki, who had finally finished his snack time, smiled and answered my question.
āNo? Because itās more painful not to be with you than to be with someone Iām not fond of.ā
āā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā
It was a surprise.
āThe pure words hit my heart.
The reason was simple.
In Shimotsukiās mind, I probably have a bigger impact than Ryuzaki.
Sheās become so fond of me that she can paint over the feeling of being uncomfortable with him.
I canāt get used to such words of affirmation no matter how many times I hear them.
If there hadnāt been someone to give me such special words, I would have felt much happier.
I feel like itās not fair.
I feel like a fool for worrying so much about it.
āNakayama-kun, Iām sure the overnight learning program wonāt be fun, but ā¦ā¦ Iām looking forward to being with you. I hope I can make at least one memory with you. Iām so nervous that Iām going to have some weird fantasies.ā
āWhat kind of weird fantasies?
If I hear that now, I have a feeling that the relationship between Shimotsuki and I will change dramatically.
If I were the protagonist of the story, Iām sure I wouldnāt have been able to resist asking that question.
But Iām a mob character.
Iām not good enough for her. I have no personality, no character, and am just a symbol.
Shimotsuki is too good for such a person.
Thatās why I couldnāt step out of my comfort zone.
āLetās make some memoriesā¦ā¦.ā
The words I finally managed to reply were bland and ordinary.
It was probably not the words that Shimotsuki was really looking for.
However, she is still pleased.
āYes! I hope it will be wonderful ā¦ā¦. Ehehehe.ā
The smile on her face was a little different from her usual smile ā it had a hint of color to it.
If I were to use a literary analogy, it would be ā¦ā¦ something like this.
It was a lovely smile, like that of a maiden in love.